One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

What are you afraid of?

31 Comments 2519 views

Weekly QuestionSeth Does it AGAIN. He writes these posts about business and marketing but sometimes they just hit the nail on the head for everything! Today this post of his was in my inbox.

Which of the four are getting the way?

You don’t know what to do

You don’t know how to do it

You don’t have the authority or the resources to do it

You’re afraid

Once you figure out what’s getting in the way, it’s far easier to find the answer (or decide to work on a different problem).

Stuck is a state of mind, and it’s curable.

He was talking business, I’m sure, but as soon as I saw it I thought.. weight loss.

There is always something getting in our way, isn’t there? Identifying what exactly that is, is probably the biggest step you can take in achieving you goal, including weight loss goals.

So take a good hard look at yourself. Do you know what to do? Do you how to do it?

Then what’s left?

Resources? I think that’s a more of an excuse then a problem when it comes down to weight loss but lets save that for another discussion.

Afraid? I bet most of us fall into this category. I know I did.

For years I knew what I wanted and how to do but…

I was afraid.

Afraid of failure. I promised myself over and over again that "this was it" this time I’m going to "lose all the weight for good."

But I never did.

So why bother? I’m just going to fail again.

I was also afraid of success. Sounds strange doesn’t it? But if I succeeded and actually became "skinny", I’d loose myself. I’d lose my identity as the chubby girl trying to lose weight. That’s scary and it really happens! You go through an identify crisis. At least I did.

But enough about me! Consider this the return of the Question of the Week. Which of you brave souls is willing to bare all and tell us what you are afraid of on this weight loss journey? (or were afraid of for all the maintainers out there!)



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 31 comments so far.

    Lisa

    June 7, 2011

    Afraid that once I get to my weight goal, I won’t be able to stay there and I’ll gain all the weight back.

    Thank you for sharing this tonight.

    Brandyjo

    June 7, 2011

    I am afraid of failing. And when I do FINALLY succeed I am afraid of going back and having to start over. It is just a vicious circle. I will get into a great routine and lose some weight and then I have one set back and I spiral down into being too hard on myself and giving up completely because I am afraid of not being able to see it to the end…….

    Lay Down My Idols

    June 7, 2011

    Yup, another goodie. I’ve been going through a few of these “mind things” lately….Ugh. But once you realize these things, THEN changes can be made!
    Dawn

    Robyn

    June 7, 2011

    I’m not exactly sure what I am afraid of yet… I know I do not want to be here, I know what I have to do and I have all the resources in the world to achieve it, but I just can’t figure out what I’m afraid of. I’m going to have to really think about this. Thank you for sharing the article Roni!

    Ana

    June 7, 2011

    I feel like I’m most afraid of failure. Because what if I watch what I eat, and go back to the exercising, and invest all that energy and then gain it back. AGAIN.

    Its the same reason I cannot take compliments on my (latest) weight loss from friends or family. Their kudos make me just as uncomfortable as someone telling me that I’m fat because a) I’ve been here before, so it’s nothing new and b) we all know there’s a high probability that the weight may come back, and I hate seeing that look (in other’s faces and in the mirror) of ” oh… you’ve gained weight. AGAIN”.

    Amanda

    June 7, 2011

    I’m afraid to embrace life – along with what others have already mentioned. I’ve certainly had small attempts at losing weight only regain the weight in due time. But recently I had the experience of losing quite a bit of weight, getting my goal weight area in my sights and regaining. A place I never thought I would end up again….So, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to maintain but also afraid that I will waste the rest of my life obsessing about THIS one issue.

    Great question!

    Heather

    June 7, 2011

    I was afraid that eating healthy would make me more unhappy than being fat, because life as I knew it was so tied and seeemed to revolve around food.
    Now that I have lost the weight and am maintaining, I have found the happy medium of indulgence and self control.
    I feel differently about food now and that makes me happy!

    Melissa

    June 7, 2011

    I am 42 and have struggled for years with my weight. My biggest success ever was losing 60 pounds on WW back in 2002 but I am regained 30 due to and injury. Now, life has me so busy with three kids – 21, 15, 12 and college I tend to put my health at the bottom of the list. I have spent more than 1/2 my life trying to lose and I am tired of it and feel the dread of possible failure. Then, I end up saying who cares and sabotage myself. I started anew this week and I hope to do better – I walked a lot today and reconnected with the kids and even jogged a bit with the hubby , something I have not done since my teens – partially inspired by roni’s latest runs.

    Ana Myre

    June 7, 2011

    I fear That nobody will care about a blog about myself more in my country were bloggin is not that big yet, !!!!

    Jill

    June 8, 2011

    I am afraid that I get all my self worth from people telling me how great I look and how disciplined I am to have lost so much weight that I won’t know how to feel good about myself without their words and praise. I don’t know how to praise myself. I am afraid I will gain weight back so that I can lose the weight again and start receiving praise again from others. Seems so sad now that I see it in writing!

    sabrina

    June 8, 2011

    I know what i need to do and i know how to do it. I follow weight watchers and have lost weight many times with the plan. But everytime i lose 25lbs i cant seem to move ahead. I dont know how to break this cycle, but im trying. Hopefuly one day ill have a better answer to this question

    Wifey

    June 8, 2011

    AWESOME post! Success and failure – gasp! At 40 I’m learning to fight those fears off more … it’s a process, a scary one, but doable!

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

    Tracy

    June 8, 2011

    Resources is always my problem. Can we talk about that being an excuse? Maybe I Ned some tough talk…because I definitely feel hampered by lack of resources. Often.

    Bridget

    June 8, 2011

    I think you are back in the saddle with this post.

    Lindsay

    June 8, 2011

    I’m afraid of getting fat! I lost about 75 pounds in the last 5 years or so and am petrified of gaining it back. I’ve been at my weight now for about 2.5 yrs but still fear gaining it back. It’s really a struggle for me..

    We’re totally on the same wavelength. I recently wrote this post about why I’m not reaching my goals, exploring the idea that I’m AFRAID – both of failure and of success: http://www.healthforthewholeself.com/2011/06/why-youre-not-reaching-your-goals/

    Sue

    June 8, 2011

    I was afraid that I would be singled out or noticed–I want to look good, but don’t want all the attention on me: “wow, what’s your secret?”, “you must be so disciplined”, “god, I wish I could do that but I’m too (fat), (busy), (fill-in-the-blank). I just want to live my life and do what’s healthy for me. Willing to help other people, but don’t want to face the weird stuff that society puts on weight and weight loss.

    Tracy

    June 8, 2011

    WOW, well I am afraid of failure, as well as success… if I succeed, can I maintain? I’ve been in the same place for the last 7 years… give or take… change is scary!

    brenda

    June 8, 2011

    I spent all of my teens thinking I was overweight, then spent my 20’s being overweight! Now in my 30’s, after 3 kids i’m the thinnest Ive been since high school, but it’s still not enough. I have lost over 80lbs and I am most of afraid of gaining again. So much so that I’m sabotaging myself and keeping myself from losing the last 15. Even though its the very thing that I want.

    Lisa

    June 8, 2011

    What am I afraid of? Currently: really running. I am afraid of re-injury and it’s holding me back from really running like I used to. I’ve been sticking to the treadmill (boring) and doing easy runs instead of challenging myself. I really miss those GOOD, hard runs!!

    Lori

    June 8, 2011

    Stuck is a state of mind and it is curable is a FANTASTIC quote! I am not sure if it is success or failure I am afraid of. I know there are friends who aren’t sure of my lifestyle changes and make snarky remarks but that doesn’t bother me because I am making decisions that are best for me and my family, not them. But it also seems that when I get a lot of compliments I slide a little. You know you see people you haven’t in a while and you get people telling you how good you look and then I seem to gain a few pounds. I catch it and get back in line but it is very weird. I have also been at a plateau for months upon months. There is sme mental block not allowing me to push through it. I will never quit though, I will figure it out. This type of question definitely helps. Thanks Roni for making me take a deeper look!

    Tami@nutmegnotebook

    June 8, 2011

    Having been a yo yo dieter most of my adult life I was embarrassed or afraid to admit to anyone that I was yet again trying to lose weight. Who wants to be the fat girl who is always eating “diet” food. When I changed from the all or nothing thinking of being on a diet or having an eating frenzy with no middle ground, my life changed for the better.

    I know that I don’t have to be perfect with my eating everyday. I also know that if I gain a few pounds back from time to time that it isn’t the end of the world and that does not make me a failure.

    Dr Phil says that our weight is managed not cured. I find comfort in that statement. It means that if I do eat outside of my healthy food choices or engage in emotional eating from time to time, that is normal for me. I am a work in progress and will continue to be. I do my best each day and some days my best is better than other days.

    Amy L.

    June 8, 2011

    Not only am I afraid of failure, I’m afraid of change. Add that to the fact that I have ZERO support, and it’s almost too much for me. How many times have I done this and failed? The last time I lost 50 lbs (yes, the last time), not only did nobody in my family even comment on the weight loss, all they could talk about was my neice’s weight gain and how she’s better watch out or she was going to end up fat. The girl is 22 years old, 5″ 8″, and weighs 112 lbs. I thought “Well if 112lbs is fat, I guess I’ll just give up now.” And I did. This is a hard topic for me, because I am so unhappy with myself- but how in the world do I break out of this vicious cycle? I guess I could revise my answer to be that I’m afraid of failure, change, and success- because what if my success isn’t good enough? I know, I’m doing this for ME, but it still hurts. Wow, didn’t mean to break into a pity party there.

    Sam

    June 8, 2011

    I am most afraid of gaining it all back. I have lost weight before (too many times to count) and have only gained it all back in the end. Why should this time be any different?

    I am also afraid of maintanence (which is where I am basically at now). I don’t want to be on Weight Watchers for the rest of my life, counting points, but how do I stop that and know that I’m eating the right amount of calories to maintain my fitness but not gain weight? What do I do once I am done “trying to lose weight”? That is all I’ve ever known. How do I find a good balance?

    Wow, I guess I’m more scared than I thought…

    Kathy

    June 8, 2011

    I AM AFRAID PEOPLE WILL SAY “OH SHE HAS LOST WEIGHT BEFORE AND GAINED IT BACK” I HAVE NOW REACHED MY WEIGHT WATCHER GOAL AT 53 YEARS OLD AND I AM WORKING VERY HARD TO KEEP IT OFF. THE BENEFITS OF WEIGHT LOSS FAR EXCEED BEING FAT.

    Roz

    June 8, 2011

    Love this post. I’m afraid I won’t maintain my weight loss once I reach goal (I’m halfway into my journey).

    Crazylady

    June 8, 2011

    Fear is definitely my problem I think. Fear and also sticking my head in the sand expecting things to change magically even though I’m doing nothing about it.

    I think fear of failure is a big part but also the realisation that my life won’t be perfect if I lose weight. All the other issues will still be there and that’s the scariest thing. :( I can blame them all on my weight right now. Unfortunately even knowing that doesn’t seem to help.

    AlisonG

    June 8, 2011

    Amy I am sure sorry you have no support. Can you find some? Don’t give up, it’s for you girl.

    I am not afraid. Just anxious to get the last of this weight off. I am also concerned about keeping it off. But I wouldn’t say afraid.

    prettylittlereckless

    June 8, 2011

    WOW. I have to say this kinda hit the nail on the head for me too. Because the ONLY thing from that list that I could identify with was being afraid. I’ve had success and lord knows I’ve had failure. I fear that if I have success again, that the failure will also come again and I won’t be able to stick with it.

    Somewhere I heard the phrase- “you don’t fail until you quit trying.” I’m trying really hard to make that my motto lately.

    I’m afraid that I will never find peace. My head is always spinning, always thinking. I wake up every 45 minutes at night and just stress about the process of falling back asleep. The anxiety, the waiting – what for, I don’t know – always is haunting me.

    The worst part: I am living an incredibly charmed life and shouldn’t have a worry in the world. Perhaps I’m scared it will all come crashing down one day and I won’t know what to do.

    Dee

    June 10, 2011

    This is silly, but I’ve been afraid that I would really, really, really miss sugar if I really committed to my weight loss goals (I have high blood sugar which made “moderation” not an option- had to ditch sugar completely). Turns out, that was just addiction talking. I’m now living sugar-free and don’t miss it at all!