For all of my adolescence and 20’s I was my own worst enemy. I let a bad body image prevent me from doing what I wanted to do and being who I really wanted to be.
Case in point…
For years I didn’t swim in the ocean becuase I didn’t want to be seen in a bathing suit.
You know what, I LOVE the ocean. I love swimming. I love the beach. I LOVE SUMMER! But I hid in jeans and oversized t-shirts not enjoying my favorite time of year doing the things I really wanted to be doing becuase I was fat.
Or at least I thought I was fat.
Does it really matter?
Point is.. I wasn’t embracing life the way I wanted to and that’s a horrible way to live.
This morning I could have made 100 excuses not to do what I wanted to do.
- I’m too busy with all this work.
- I’m self-conscious about this 25lb weight gain.
- I’m overwhelmed about the conference.
- I’m pissed off I didn’t lose weight this week.
- I’m depressed that none of my clothes fit.
- I’m tired.
- I’m disappointed that I lost my running and workout stamina.
- I should really clean up the house.
- I DON’T WANT TO START OVER!
But instead of wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for myself I challenged myself to do what I wanted to do anyway.
I strapped on the running shoes, secured the baby in the jogger and I ran 5k.
Well…. I ran/walked 5k.
It took me 41 minutes and 39 seconds…
That’s slower then my first 5k ever but who CARES! <–just cried re-reading that.
I did it!
For so long I thought I wanted to be skinny but what I really wanted was to be who I knew I was–an active, happy, ALIVE person who takes life by the horns, has FUN and does what she wants to do with no excuses.
I refuse to hide myself again.
I’m getting out of my own way.
Here’s little bean and I, all sweaty, after our run this morning.
He did AWESOME! We enjoyed the beautiful weather and got some fresh air. Now I feel more equipped to tackle this day. Especially after the smile he gave me during our little chat…
For more baby smiles click here. <— my favorite post of the month!