One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

What have you gained? (Rewind)

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Question of the WeekI’m having way to much fun rummaging through old posts to rewind these questions of the week. This one is from the summer of 2008 and it feels like yesterday.

As a weight loss blogger who lost weight and kept it off, the difference between inspiring and being annoying is a fine balance. Who likes to get weight loss advice from a "skinny bitch"? Seriously, right? And after being at goal for 2 years I started to feel like a "skinny bitch". It’s an identify crisis I’ve mentioned before and those that have lost weight know what I’m talking about. People make judgments about you regardless of your size and I have felt the sting of both the skinny and the fat assumptions.

So when I originally wrote this question of the week I was worried people would think,

"Of course you can focus on what you’ve gained now, you’re skinny."

Why did I think that? Becuase I would have thought it. I would be rolling my eyes at the "skinny bitch" telling me how great her life is now that she’s thin.

Rereading my original post almost 9 months pregnant had me in tears. Sure, PART of it is pregnancy hormones but what made me really cry is, all the things I have gained are still true! I feel the same exact way even in my pregnant body.

Sure a pregnant gain is a bit different but regardless, I’m in a body that makes me uncomfortable. I have many of the same body image issues swimming around my brain. I’m fighting a lot of similar feelings but the truth is, even if I don’t lose the weight after this pregnancy I will STILL feel the same way…

I have gained so much more than I have lost.

Here is the original post from July 9, 2008….

That’s right, GAINED! With all the drama I almost forgot the question of the week! Since we’ve been talking a lot about finding happiness and being happy I thought it was a good time to take an assessment of what we have gained by changing our lifestyle.

I’m not going to pretend that my intention when I started Weight Watchers wasn’t to lose weight. Yes, I was unhappy in my skin for a very long time. Yes, I think that unhappiness led to more of weight problem and I wish I had a better body image as a young woman. However, on my journey to lose that weight I have gained so much more.

Along the journey to a healthier me…

  • I have gained a healthy relationship with food where I don’t eat for eating sake. Where I can enjoy food I love and not have it snow ball into a 3 week binge before I even notice.
  • I have gained energy and a love of fitness. I value MY time so much and I now enjoy doing things that are good for my body. I like running and lifting weights. Instead of measuring my success on the scale I’m starting to measure it in miles and pounds lifted.
  • I have gained an active fun relationship with my son. We dance, we play, we run, we frolic on the beach and as he gets older our activities will grow and mature. I love the fact that I am setting a good example for him to live a healthy lifestyle and that we are active together.
  • I have gained more self confidence. Not because I am in a particular size but because I am setting goals and reaching them.
  • I have gained a sense of purpose. I love doing what I’m doing. I love sharing information and ideas. I feel like I’m doing something I am meant to do and that I love to do.
  • I have gained a knowledge and appreciation of food that is good for me. Food that fuels my body not just taste good.
  • I’ve gained such a love and appreciation of life! Ok, that sounds a little cheesy but it’s true and maybe that has more to do with my age and being a mom but, whatever! It’s gained! ;~P

So how about YOU? What have you gained?

Click here to read the comments on the original post. They are truly inspiring. But don’t forget to come back and answer… What have you gained?



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Discussion

There are 14 comments so far.

    Sarah

    March 8, 2011

    I have gained a life! <3

    This post is exactly what I need to read today.

    s

    March 9, 2011

    wow. thanks for this moving post. being skinny is so glamourized by movies/tv/magazines, that it’s outrageous. your ‘journey to a healthier life’ habits seem like the building blocks for weight loss success, and at the very least, a healthier lifestyle.

    s

    March 9, 2011

    i just noticed i stated the obvious in the last sentence of my comment. lol! oops. anyhow, i look forward to following along with your post-pregnancy endeavors.

    Danell

    March 9, 2011

    I always read your posts and wonder how you seem to say everything that is in my head (almost exactly). I am just starting to take better care of myself (instead of feeling sorry for myself) and every single thing you mentioned is what I hope to gain in the not-so-distant future.

    Reading your list made me think of this quote, since I am currently wishing for all those things you have mentioned. I am not sure if I got it from your site or not (if so, thanks for posting it).

    “Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.” – Alexander Woollcott

    It makes me laugh, because it is true. And it makes me cry (or at least kick myself for wasting so much time), because it is true.

    Lazy Personal Trainer

    March 9, 2011

    I have gained contentment. There are some pretty darn crappy things going on in my life right now and I could totally let them bog me down. But I can say I’m truly a content and happy person (for the most part – nothing’s 100%!) because I’m focusing on what I CAN control – such as creating the healthiest happiest lifestyle I can for myself and my family.

    maria_nj

    March 9, 2011

    I’ve gained back all the weight I lost in 2007-2208. All 55 lbs of it and than a couple more. But I will do this again….

    Jill

    March 9, 2011

    An appreciation that my body works. An understanding that food is not the enemy, the best friend, or a solution for anything but hunger.

    Patty

    March 9, 2011

    I’ve gained a lot of the same things you have: being out of plus size clothes, a love for running, being comfortable in my own skin, appreciation for healthier foods, learning to say “no” to foods that trigger me and so much more.

    The most important thing I’ve gained is patience…I’ve lost 25 lbs and have maintained it for a year and a half. There is more to lose but I’m working real hard on focusing on that positive.

    Cindy

    March 9, 2011

    I’ve gained self-respect. I don’t give in to the temptations people put in front of me unless it’s what I really want – weather it is food, activities, nights out…. I’m doing things for me.

    I’ve gained an appreciation for my changing body. The scale is the scale – its reflecting only weight – but when I look in the mirror and my stomach doesn’t hang over my underwear, or my pants are looser in the thighs, I LOVE IT – I notice the little changes that nobody else can (has the pleasure ;) of seeing) sometimes they are good changes, and sometimes they are not so good – but I’ve learned to look at myself.

    I’ve gained a love for VEGETABLES <— considered my life's crowning achievement so far ;) I'm a broccoli hater, but now I pick up all the things in the grocery store that look WEIRD and I google them and prepare them – I have suprised myself because I like what I try almost every time – and now I can share those experiences with my friends and family and get them interested in trying new things with me.

    I've gained a healthy outlet through working out and being active. I'm doing something that I never thought I would ever do – Pole Fitness (the muscle building kind, not the sexy kind) and I'm in love with it – even with my not at all perfect body [haven't met my goal yet, not even close] I can stand in front of a mirror, on a pole and pull myself up and spin around, I'm doing a variety of classes similar to this and went from a major couch potato to a 5-day a week, 90 minute a day active person! I have gained PRIDE.

    Good post – I don't even think I had realized all of the things that had changed other than the scale number. I'm a much BIGGER person in a much smaller body!

    meron G

    March 9, 2011

    I have gained peace. The constant self criticism in my head has disappeared. I’m not perfect, but I’m doing my best. And that is enough. One day at a time.

    Lisa

    March 9, 2011

    This is really interesting. I’ve been discriminated against at both 250 pounds and now at 143 pounds. It was a weird shift…people that don’t know I used to weigh 250lbs judge me. They often make snide comments about me being “skinny” or how I “don’t understand.” It’s frustrating that people judge me like that because I worked HARD to lose 100 pounds!!!

    Pilbara Pink

    March 10, 2011

    I hear you Lisa – when I first lost weight I would `forget’ I had and join in conversation in the break room at work about dieting, exercising etc – and then wonder why I was getting odd looks. It took my little book of fat photos to convince the others I really did know what they were talking about!!! I have gained honesty, humility and the confidence that comes with knowing I have done one of the hardest things a person can do – lost weight and kept it off. I have learned how to keep looking towards a goal and shake off things/people that would hold me back or sabotage me, to be consistant, to be disciplined. If only I could learn to see me as I really am in the mirror! I couldn’t when I was fat (that was how I was able to get to 273lb) and still struggle now. Someone yesterday referred to me as tiny and while I secretly thrilled I struggle to believe them …. I guess this is a journey, not a destination :)

    Rose McIntyre

    March 12, 2011

    How insane that because of you, I decided to blog my weight loss journey (with Stats and photos to boot) and that this week before even reading your post, I blogged all about non scale victories and how my life is changing – not just because of the scale, but because of the tools!

    You are awesome!! And God is good!

    Shannon

    March 14, 2011

    I’ve gained discipline & Motivation.

    I’ve also gained alot of respect for those that are trying to get to their goal weight. Losing weight is tough. I mean, if you are an alcoholic, then you have to quit drinking, if you are a smoker, you quit smoking, but if you are an overeater, you can’t just quit food. You need food to survive.