Weekly QuestionThis weeks question is inspired by my 40 pound pregnancy gain and a new awesome web site I want to tell you about.

First let me vent about this gain. Ok, I’m pregnant. That’s been established BUT that doesn’t totally silence all the silly voices in my head or the negative body image talk that’s plagued me from childhood. Regardless, my body is changing and I need to deal. It is what it is and I must embrace and accept. After all, it’s my BODY! There’s no escaping it. This is the only one I have!

In all honesty, I have never dressed my size. As a teenager I hid a very average body in baggy clothes. In college I gained so much weight those baggy clothes were all too tight. By the time I was in my 20s I hated clothes shopping with a passion and spent a lot of time crying in my closet as nothing felt comfortable or fit correctly.

If ONLY I accepted and dressed for my size! I would have looked better and felt better. There is no doubt about it.

I’m going through a bit of this now. Pregnancy is slightly different but the concept is the same. I pass the on the tailored maternity dress pants my Sister-in-law was nice enough to hand down in favor of baggy sweats. I glance at the cute pregnancy sweaters my Mother-In-Law bought me, yet I end up wearing the biggest, sloppiest t-shirts I own.

When will I learn that by taking pride in myself and what I wear spills over into everything from my mood to what I eat?

It really does.

It’s easy for me to say, "Buy clothes that fit!" it will help! But the reality is sometimes we just don’t have the cash. It’s not cheap to replace a complete wardrobe.

The Great Clothing Exchange is a new website by LeavingFatville that can help. Clothing swaps are a great way to help the transition ad get a few pieces to start to to build confidence. As with anything, embracing your size and dressing appropriate for it will not happen overnight. It’s a process. A journey and I’m curious where you are on it.

Do you dress for your size?

 
  • http://www.danispies.com Dani

    Being preggo this second time around has been a lot tougher for me than the first. There are so many days when I want to just skip the shower, blow dry and make up (and do!) only to remember taking care of myself and taking pride in my appearance completely effects the rest of my day and everything I do – including what I choose to eat!! As for wearing clothes my size, I am probably starting to border wearing clothes that are to small because I SO don’t want to go buy anything for new when I’m only going to be needing it for another three months! Plus it’s not so fun to shop when you can;t try in the clothes you would really want – LOL! We’re almost there girl… you sooner than me. Looking forward to the post baby journey;)

  • s

    well, i’m not pregnant, but yes and no. i feel mega self-conscious in pretty dresses (but i do enjoy getting dressed up for fancy occasions) and almost anything besides a tee shirt and jeans/cotton skirt. i wear cardigans and fleeces all the time. i’m used to wearing some ‘layers’ … i think they take attention away from my body (which sounds a little crazy, given that i do not possess the body of a supermodel. but hey). i’m also always cold, so i guess my layering serves a purpose. i guess i wear my size, but tastefully… i don’t do low-cut shirts anymore. boob glances make me uncomfortable, lol.

  • Melody

    Roni,
    I was pregnant twice and I can totally relate to your feelings 100%. I know you are an intelligent lady who will work through the extra weight and bloating with ease as soon as the baby is born without much time passage at all. I also know that you appreciate the miracle that having a child will be. So I will tell you what kept me going when I felt this way (which was often!) #1) Do go out and buy a few inexpensive but fitting comfortable maternity clothes regardless of price from time to time. It matters how you feel, even if it is temporary. and #2) Remind yourself of that FANTASTIC feeling you will have right after the baby is born. It is out of this world. And that is what you are doing all this for.

    I totally get what you are going through but if anyone can bounce back with ease and a little healthy lifestyling afterwards, it’s you. : ) I hope that helps.

  • http://www.lowcarbhaven.com girliefriend

    No experience with pregnancy, but have some experience with weight loss (and regain). It took a long time for my mind to catch up with the loss, but once it did, I bought all new clothes. But when the regain happened, I had given away all my ‘fat’ clothes. I fought buying anything new for a long time, until I had nothing to wear. At least this time, I have an entire wardrobe for the way (weigh?) down.

  • Paige

    Only recently have I started dressing for my size. It’s not that I dressed for a different size before, I just didn’t know what would look good. But then I had a few successes and I’ve built on that. I know that I like the way I look in skinny jeans (I know they say you “shouldn’t” wear skinny jeans if you aren’t skinny, to which I say “pfft”! I like the way I look in them WAY better than the wide-leg ones that are supposed to “flatter” my shape.”) and blazers, tops and dresses with cinched waists, short skirts with tights, etc. So it’s been lovely to get to dress for my size recently.

    But that doesn’t mean the desire to “wait until I’m skinny” has gone away. In the last week my jeans (I usually only have 1 pair at a time) wore out at the crotch because of my thighs rubbing together. I have another pair of the same jeans in one size lower that I’m probably 8 pounds from fitting into. The thought of spending the money now to buy an in-between pair is dreadful. But my fiance and I had a long talk about it and he reminded me how much better I feel when I have clothes that fit, so we’re going jeans shopping tomorrow. Sure, it’ll suck a bit to spend the $60 or $70, but part of my weight loss success is feeling good at my current size and not feeling like I have to go on a juice fast or something equally drastic just so I’ll have a pair of pants I feel good in.

  • http://newleafeats.wordpress.com Michelle @ Turning Over a New Leaf

    I try to dress my size as much as I can, which is why I’m gradually trying to rid my wardrobe of all those free tshirts I collected in college. I still haven’t replaced all my wardrobe since losing 35 lbs. It’s definitely expensive, and I’ve picked up things here and there at cute resale shops and clothing exchanges, but I certainly don’t have a full wardrobe yet.

    This is just me, but I look forward to clothes shopping while pregnant! I see so many more affordable cute maternity clothes than in the non-prego sizes! At least where I shop. ;)

  • Nikki

    I am one of those weird women who loves to wear dresses, however, the top of my body is not proportionate to the bottom. Actually, it’s just the girls that aren’t proportionate to the rest of the body. My chest is 2-3 sizes bigger than the rest of me. In fact, I lost about 30 lbs. a few years ago, but didn’t lose any size in my chest and gradually gained the weight back simply because I couldn’t find anything that looked right with a waist and hips that should wear a M and a chest that needed an XL or bigger. I couldn’t (and still can’t) afford to have everything tailored to fit me, so I feel like I am sort of stuck. To top it off, I am only 5’2″, so petite sizes fit me better in the sleeves, but make it even more difficult to find something that doesn’t pull at the chest, even with minimizer bras.

  • http://www.healthytwists.com Hallie

    The other day, I was complaining that I hate all my clothes (I do this a lot). I said “nothing I have fits, everything is too big or too small” and my fiancé goes, “well, you’re always either gaining weight or losing weight.” I NEVER thought of myself as a yo-yo’er until that moment and it was a huge lightbulb. I constantly fall prey to the “I can’t buy clothes til I lose weight” and therefore, I wear clothes that don’t fit and I wear them into the ground.

    I am really, really hoping I can drop these 15 lbs I’ve been fighting for years and KEEP it off…but in the meantime I bought a pair of pants that fit me now (hello, not 8 or 12…but TEN!) and they are AMAZING and I feel so good when I wear them. Except they need to be hemmed but that’s another story for another day…

  • http://makingmesses.com Jen @Making Messes

    I do now. But I can relate to the preggo blah feeling after weightloss. And when I was a size 16, I just looked for anything that didn’t say 16. Covered myself with a belief that I was in some holding cell. That I’d live my life and wear beautiful clothes at a later date when I got it all together. Sound familiar? It’s just not being present. Now I make an effort to get dressed everyday. Granted, I am thinner, but it’s really a change in my mindset. Act your way into feeling. You, today, ate worth the effort.

  • http://www.tugboatphotography.blogspot.com Tara

    I am currently at my heaviest weight (heavy sigh, uber depressing) but many people don’t know it, because i am actually buying clothes that fit me and compliment my body style, where the last time I was close to this weight (I am 5 lbs heavier than I was at my previous heaviest) I wasn’t wearing jeans that fit, or shirts, and they were either too tight or too baggy, I don’t feel as bad about myself as I did back then. I still really want to lose the weight and am really sad that I am at my heaviest again, but dressing better helps.

  • Kelly

    Just think of how many people you’ll inspire AGAIN when you go back to your pre-pregnancy weight.

  • http://kindlifeofleah.blogspot.com Leah

    I’m learning to dress for my size, too!

    I’ve lost 68 pounds in the last year and a half, and I’m still planning to lose about 15 more. Oh, and I’m on a strict budget.

    I can’t believe it took me this long to just go to Goodwill. Seriously, that store is great for transition clothes! I went a couple of weekends ago and got a whole new wardrobe for less than $100. (several shirts, a few pairs of work pants, plus a few pairs of jeans).

    I’ll go again when I lose another size.

    I am waiting to spend money on full-priced items until I get to my goal size, which is a 10. :-)

  • http://lauralovinglife.com Laura of Lauralovinglife

    As my budget permits, I buy new clothes that fit me well. My most recent purchase (with Xmas gift card) was 2 tight-fitting sweaters and a size 14 pants! My first size 14 since… college?

    However, sometimes I like to get into clothes that my body just swims in, usually at home, or on very yucky days (like if I have a cold). I have a pair of lounge pants that is probably 6 sizes too big for me. They’re flannel. I put those puppies on, cinch the drawstring, and I am ready to relaxify.

    I think having some clothes that are way too big really helps me deal with the “my body is so much smaller” feeling that sometimes overwhelms me. It’s not easy to face the world without the jacket of fat that used to buffer you from it.

  • T

    I’m not at the weight I want to be, but I definitely dress for my size and it makes all the difference in the world. I make sure that everything fits properly, and if that means a larger number on the clothing tag, that’s ok. There’s nothing worse than being self-conscious about your body AND ill-fitting clothing! Plus clothing that’s too tight creates bigger bumps and rolls, andclothing that’s too big creates the illusion of extra mass that just isn’t there.

    I have to say that the most essential piece of clothing to get at the right size is a bra. Seriously. Especially if you’re well-endowed (I am a “specialty” size) having the girls up and lifted make your stomack look smaller, and bras that are too small create spillage (back and front) that makes you look lumpier than you are.

    People can’t see the tag of your clothing – they can see you!! I asked a lady at a clothing store, when I asked for a size, say “You’re not that size. I dress bodies for a living. You’re two sizes smaller than that. No way you’re that size”. I absolutely was that size, I guess I just didn’t look like it. I have to presume it was because my clothes, that fit, made me look smaller.

  • http://www.blogtolose.com/profile/Dani Dani

    I dress for my size, but 9 times out of 10 I’ll opt for a top that is sort of tailored and made to wear untucked versus a clingy stretch type top. I’m just really self consious of the spare tire and “muffin top”.

  • http://lovinlosing.com Carolyn @ Lovin’ Losing

    I actually never had much of a problem dressing for my size. I find that just as wearing clothes that are too tight can make me feel “fat,” so can wearing clothes that aree too baggy. Right now I’m between sizes in some of my clothes and the ones that are getting baggy make me feel sloppy and uncomfortable.

  • Agnes

    When I was in college and at the time my heaviest I dressed in horrible over sized shirts and pants. Now I’m heavier yet I think I look better because I dress better. Having said that I think plus size clothes are horribly made! Most are like large bags that are unflattering and dreadful! I wish someone would really make nice plus size clothes, that fit well!
    Having said all that I have to admit that while pregnant I did not feel fat. In fact even 8 months pregnant with my stomach sticking out I felt great. It was the only time in my life that I did not feel fat. It was wondeful!

  • mandi

    I definitely dress for my size…and I feel so much better than when I didn’t….when I tried to cover up that nonexistent fat roll with a baggy shirt and stretch pants. And…I definitely look better! I totally understand the money dilemma, but have you considered checking out your local thrift stores and consignment shops? You could buy more than just a few pieces that fit you and not have to spend a whole lot of money. Just a suggestion! It will all be “new to you”, anyway! Good luck, Roni…and thanks for continuing to share with and inspire all of us!

  • Mary

    Take advantage of your curvy shape right now! Normally a size 14, I am now 12 weeks post-delivery and I would do anything to have back that taut pregnancy tummy that filled out my tops and dresses so nicely. I know that it is easier said than done, but you are normally so good at embracing your body for what it can do and I know you can do it this time as well.

    As for dressing your size, I work in an environment where I must make a good first impression so no sloppy clothes allowed. And even though I am so far from my goal weight, it’s laughable, I still feel pretty most days because I have made the effort to be the best me, to look the best I can look. I am horrified that I recently ordered size 16 and 18 suits but right now that is what size I am and I still need to look good until I get myself back down to my steady 14. I do spend big bucks on a few great suits and nice comfortable heels to make my legs look better but I mix in a lot from Old Navy and Target with fun cheap jewelery and scarves. And I’m a big believer of “fake it ’til you make it.” Making yourself look your best and then throwing on a big smile can do wonders for your self esteem.

  • http://honeyishrunkthegretchen.com Gretchen @ Honey, I Shrunk the Gretchen!

    It took me a long time to realize that even if you’re not at the size you would ideally like to be at, your own confidence and will skyrocket as long as you feel beautiful in the clothes that you’re wearing. So yes, it is more expensive to shop at the size you’re at, especially if you’re planning on losing weight or (like being pregnant) not at the size you’re normally at. As someone who’s lost 45 pounds so far but still needs to lose more, I struggle with not wanting to buy clothes now because I know I will shrink out of them, but being unable to wear a lot of my old clothing because I’ve already shrunk! It’s a hard line to walk. I compromise by buying items that I really love in the size that I am now, but not rehauling my whole wardrobe every time I drop a few lbs.

  • LG

    A couple years ago at work I overheard one of my co-workers (who was about my size), say that she always buys small or extra small shirts at Gap. I thought “WHAT”? to myself, because I never even tried those on – I went straight to mediums and larges. Well, the next time I went to Gap I tried on a small. And holy crap it FIT. That was an eye-opener – I always viewed myself larger than I was.

  • Lynne

    Just like the scale is just a number, the size of my pants is just a number…it doesn’t define me. I’m at one of my highest weights yet but I went out & bought clothes that looked good on me. I put all my efforts into ignoring the size and focusing on the fit. Clothes that fit make you look a whole lot better. And I felt better!

  • http://www.thedietbookjunkie.com Angela (the diet book junkie)

    yes, i definitely dress for my size. when my clothes fit, i FEEL better. and that’s half the battle right there!

  • Ana Myre

    Love the post, I still deal with dressing my size, I went from 18 to a 8 and I was really hard to learn to dress my new body because I will wear things that when I was big never fit good but now day do. I think is a learning process, I still think I’m a 18 size instead of a 8!!! Gotta change my thinking!!!

  • Heidi

    I am 3 weeks post pregnant and still learning to deal with my body. Ive lost all but 5 lbs, with about 25 lbs gain. I am 5’7″ and about 165-170 pre pregnancy. I will say I have struggled my entire life, much like you. After becoming pregnant, I LOVED MY BODY!! I finally had an ” excuse” to look ” fat.” ( in my eyes) I rocked every cute new trend and look out there, and learned how to dress and accentuate my ” bump” and I have to tell you, my confidence was amazing. I was suppose to be “big” so if my ” ass” looked ” big” in my skinny jeans and boots, welp, it’s supposed to. That was the best feeling ever and i am hoping to carry that mentality into my post pregnant world…. i hope you can too. Enjoy that BUMP!!

  • http://www.fishface.com Fish Face

    Yes, I dress for my size. But of late, I’ve been working out and eating much better. I can now almost wear a smaller size. I’ll wear this one set of smaller sized clothes once in a while to help remind myself what the goal is. To loose weight and get healthy!

  • http://teambojo.blogspot.com/ carrie

    yes…and when i was losing weight, i had a lot of clothes altered…sometimes that’s cheaper than buying new as you’re transitioning sizes.

  • Jen

    Roni, I know this is an old post and I did not have time to read through all of the replies as I am @ work and getting my in my ‘Roni’s weigh’ fix for the day- lol. I was wondering- what is your opinion on keeping ‘fat’ clothes. I have only lost about 15 lbs at this point- my goal is 40- I could definitely stand to drop a size but am so conflicted. If I keep them maybe I am setting myself up to fail?!? UGH! Probably not the big deal I am making out of it…. but I was just wondering what your ‘take’ is. :) thanks!

  • http://ronisweigh.com roni

    A few months after I reached goal I decided it was time to donate my old clothes. Honestly I wore them probably longer than I should not because I was setting myself up to fail but because I couldn’t afford a new wardrobe! I’d start swapping items slowly. If you are going about this the right way you won’t fail. It’s not about a short term fix but a permanent lifestyle change.. right?? ;)

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