One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

Why do you want to lose weight? (Rewind)

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Question of the weekI can’t believe I’m about to say this but… THREE years ago I started a series of posts here on Roni’s Weigh called, Question of the Week. The idea was to stimulate some conversation and introspective analysis for those that are trying to lose weight. The series never really ended but the frequency in which I posted questions decreased when I went back to work. So I’m now reinstating the series by reposting my first question ever. I’ll be closing comments on the original post but if you have time, please click to read the responses. Lots of people shared their stories. It’s inspiring.

The following post was originally published 2/5/2008….

Every week I find myself responding to a lot questions ranging from the personal to generic, the detailed to the broad, the serious to the cute. As I answer each and formulate a response I started to realize my answers are not only beneficial to the asker but to me as well! They require me to perform a level of self-analysis that is helpful on my journey. Sometime the pause to ponder something we may not have considered before can point us in a new direction that can be beneficial.

This is the inspiration for a new weekly feature on my blog. I’m planning a weekly question to help you (and consequentially others who may be reading) on your weight loss/maintenance journeys. Feel free to add your answer and insights in the comments or post your response on your blog if you have one (be sure to place the link to your response in the comments so people can find you).  

So the first question may seem simple but it’s one we must ask ourselves as we embark on a journey to lose weight. For years my answer to the question, “Why do you want to lose weight?” was to be “Skinny”.  I wanted to be skinny for as long as I can remember but just wanting to be skinny wasn’t motivation enough to lose weight. In all honestly, my wanting to be skinny probably caused me to be fat.  

It wasn’t until I realized it was more then about just being skinny, it was about being healthy and happy with myself. My answer to this question changed in June 2005 when I gave birth to my son. All of a sudden being skinny seemed secondary. I wanted to be healthy, confident and a good example for my son. I wanted to be an active mom who wasn’t afraid to run in the ocean or build sand castles on the beach because I was so insecure in my skin. My reason for wanting to lose weight changed and consequently so did my success!

So I ask you,  Why do you want to lose weight?



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 47 comments so far.

    Lynn

    January 4, 2011

    I am at the age where I not only want to lose weight but NEED to lose weight – for my health if nothing else. I’m hoping if I look at it from a “health” perspective that I might stick with it. I am at my all time hightest weight – ugh! Menopause has not been kind!

    Wendy

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight to be able to run a 5k without my knees hurting, to feel proud of myself, to be healthly, to have the awareness to treat my body with respect, to feel great, to look great, and to prove to myself that I can.

    Lisa

    January 4, 2011

    I guess I have two answers. The first was back when I was 250 and HAD to lose weight for health reasons. I was developing diabetes and was only 25. I lost the weight and am much happier!

    Now, 2.5 years later maintaining that 100 pound loss I still strive to lose that 10 pounds I can’t get rid of. I am fairly happy with my body and where I am at. I guess I’m more consumed with a specific number I’d like to weigh….

    Kara @ Kara's Marathon

    January 4, 2011

    I had a similar experience — when the reason for losing weight changed from just wanting to be skinny and fit into a certain size to something more meaningful, I was much more successful.

    When my now-husband proposed, a lightbulb went off in my head that I loved this man SO much and was going to spend the rest of my life with him, and I wanted the rest of my life to be as long as possible! At 250 lbs. I wasn’t going to have the fun, adventure-filled, long life I dreamed of, so I started my most successful weight loss journey to date.

    Now I’m 5 months pregnant with my first (a boy!), and I know that as soon as I give birth I’m going to work on getting back to a healthy weight, for many of the same reasons you listed above. I want to be a fun, active mom and set a great example of health and fitness for my son (and any other future children we’re blessed with) :)

    Michelle

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight so that when I’m 50 and my son and daughter are 17 and 13 1/2, I can beat them in a foot race :-)

    I want to be healthy and around for the two of them (as well as my awesome hubby)!

    Reinaldo

    January 4, 2011

    I work with the elderly and I see everyday how the human body decays… if you let it. I want to be 85 years old, start my day doing squats for my still healthy hips and then go run my errands, completly selfdependant.

    Jen

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight, because I know I can do it. I did it before and regret that emotional eating has caused me to regain some of it. I want to feel great again and put these aches and pains behind me!

    Lori

    January 4, 2011

    I try to be a healthy example for my two boys (4 and 2). DH and I waited until our thirties to start our family and I don’t want my body falling apart on me as the boys get older. I also would like to enjoy time with my DH when we retire and not spend all our days running to and from Dr’s offices. One day I would like to be able to play with my grandchildren even though I’ll be as old as dirt! :) One last reason is to feel good.

    Theresa @ActiveEggplant

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight so I don’t die at age 52 like my father. I have struggled with my weight since graduating from college (10+ years ago) and once I realized just how dangerously overweight I was, I knew I had to make a change & get back to a healthy weight – or I would be on the track to a lifetime of health problems. I want to live a long, healthy life!

    Jen

    January 4, 2011

    I was tired of lagging behind on hikes, so 2 years ago I mentioned to my boyfriend that I was considering a weightloss class at the gym. His response was simply that “It would be good for your long-term health.” My mom had recently passed away at age 62, and I was touched that he was concerned about my health down the road–and I knew this was the closest he’d come to every telling me to loose weight. It’s been slow but I’ve gone from a size 18 to a size 10, and 42% bodyfat to 26%. I’d like to be a size 6 by our wedding next fall.

    laine

    January 4, 2011

    I’m about 30-40 pounds overweight and just joined Weight Watchers (down 6 pounds so far!)
    I want to lose weight because my weight gain was a symptom of unhappiness and stuffing feelings down. I also want to carry 30 fewer pounds up mountains when I hike. I want to make my knees happy. I want to look the way I looked 40 pounds ago. And I want to protect my body as I age. I, too, see the effects of excess weight on the elderly through my work and it is not good.

    Debbie

    January 4, 2011

    I began WW on February 15, 2007 after a great Valentine’s Day dinner with my husband. At the time I wasn’t really sure why I was joining WW. I just felt that it was time. By November 2007, I had lost 33 pounds and became a lifetime member. I maintained my weight loss until I became pregnant in October of 2009. After giving birth to my son (EVAN!!!) in July, I quickly got back to my goal weight. I still struggle with body image, and I still see the larger version of myself when I look in the mirror. I want to be a healthy role model for my son, but still after all this time, I have “fat thoughts.” I guess for me losing the weight was the easy part, but the psychological part still hasn’t quite caught up. Any advice?

    Alison

    January 4, 2011

    Initially it was to get my cholesterol down and not have to take medication, and too be thinner of course, that goes with out saying. Now it is to reach goal! I feel so much better, not to mention look better. I have more energy than I have in a long time. Aside from health and looks, now I find it is a challenge to stay accountable.
    Love your blogs, thanks for all you do.

    s

    January 4, 2011

    i wanted to lose weight because i knew i had an unhealthy relationship with food and i wanted to fix that, but i think above all i wanted to be skinny.

    I’m losing weight because I’m tired of my weight deciding what adventures I can and can’t have. I’m tired of barely fitting in the airplane seat. I’m annoyed at how uncomfortable plane and car rides are. I hate not being able to zipline, skydive, etc… because of my weight.

    I just found your blog. Thanks for everything!

    Fashion Therapist

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight because I’ve always been fat. I’ve always been above normal weight. I don’t know what it’s like to not be insecure. I don’t know what it’s like to feel skinny. I don’t know what it’s like to not be the “fat friend”. I want to be seen as something else.

    Ann

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight so that I can be comfortable in my own skin, and to increase my energy level and my strength.

    Charity

    January 4, 2011

    I want to lose weight because I’m so tired of standing in front of my closet, for hours crying because nothing fits. Crying because going out with my family is a big emotional crisis and I never feel good inside. Crying over the guilt that I have over letting myself get this overweight. I have 6 immediate family members that have had gastric bypass surgery, I have considered the band myself. I REALLY want to achieve this on my own, I want to be able to tell people…I WORKED HARD and I succeeded! I want to be active with my husband and 4 kids, like I used to when I was 50lbs. lighter…

    Donna Roucoulet

    January 5, 2011

    I want to lose weight so that I do not become as unhealthy as my grandmother was, and my mother is becoming. I know I can’t predict what may happen in the future, but I can definitely live healthier, and prevent so much by losing weight, eating better, and being active. I want to MOVE with ease, I want to be around to PLAY with my grandchildren, I want to do so many things.

    Ortal G

    January 5, 2011

    I started my journey (over) with about 50 lbs to lose to get to a healthy weight. At that point it was about vanity, self esteem which plays a big part in my functioning, and health concerns. I hated feeling so winded, and I hated that my daughter NEW I didnt like myself. Im pretty young, 24, so I didnt really look at it big picture but I knew I didnt want to live this way. As I started to loose weight, I saw how much better I felt both inside and out. I kept going, feeding off of the success, loving it, and loving how working out and eating right made me feel. there was no more guilt over food. no more feeling so stuffed i felt sick.

    Now Ive lost the 50ish lbs, and am at a healthy weight, but I am not ‘thin’. Id like to push to lose 15 more, to put me at the lower end of the range rather than the higher, for again, self esteem and vanity reasons. I want, for ONCE in my life, to be truley thin. I love not feeling winded so easily. I love buying clothes that fit. I know its not the most PC answer, but its the honest truth. Im sure with age i will realize how loosing weight early on (and maintaining, God willing) helped me avoid future weight issues I see my parents struggle with.

    Agnes

    January 5, 2011

    When I first started WW in my 20’s I only wanted to lose weight to be skinny. I did not want to be 24 yrs old and shopping at a plus size store. I managed to lose 75 lbs and for several years I enjoyed dressing in cute outfits and not stressing over my body. Now in my 30’s having regained all the weight plus another 42 lbs during my pregnancy I want to lose weight for a multitude of reasons. I have to health wise (starting to see a spike in my blood pressure and cholestral is not looking too hot). I’m back at the plus size store and I hate it! And I don’t want to be old and plagued with health problems! I guess being skinny would accomplish most of this but in my 30’s the “skinny” is not as important as healthy is.

    Kelly

    January 5, 2011

    I am losing weight so that I can continue to participate in the physical outdoor activities I love as I age. It is just not as easy for you to compensate for extra weight, from an endurance, cardiovascular, and orthopedic standpoint, as your body gets older! It’s working- I am down 62 pounds from Jan. 2008 with 6 more to go! And, yesterday I went snow shoeing (off trail) for 4 hours with my dog- breaking trail for nearly all half of the time and still had energy to function when I got home. An unexpected bonus is how easy it is to both buy clothing and get ready to go somewhere now- I no longer feel like I have to try on 10 outfits to find one that makes me look the least objectionable (read: FAT). I feel like all of my clothes fit and look pretty good on me. The fact that people tell me that I look great all of the time is just the cherry on top! Don’t get me wrong, I am as vain and superficial as we come in this society- but I can honestly say the way my body performs today- better than in my 30’s (I am 52) is the best reward and single biggest motivator for me.

    tricia

    January 5, 2011

    I started out trying to lose weight to be a good example for my son, but soon the journey became about ME. I found myself through my weight loss journey. Being overweight ended up being a blessing.

    JimGoingFitness

    January 5, 2011

    For me it’s all about speed. The lighter I am, the faster I can move in the water, on the bike and while running.

    I’m at the point where it’s getting harder and harder to lose weight on the waste. What a pain!

    Laura

    January 5, 2011

    I want to lose weight so that my body will be able to do with ease the things I want it to do… like run a half marathon this summer, be a soccer coach for my son, run up a mountain, ski.

    kristine

    January 5, 2011

    hi! i’m new to this blog. i wanna lose weight because i just became a single mom and realized that i have to really be healthy to stay alive long enough for my kids.

    @kara: you’re so sweet and lucky to have found a guy worth getting slimmer for. i so envy you. :)

    Eileen

    January 5, 2011

    I want to lose weight so that I can live. I have been so self consious for so many years, consumed with what I thought people thought about me that I didn’t live.
    I want to lose weight so that I can have a baby and be the best mother possible and so i can be the best role model for my family. I want to lose weight so I can be a good influence for my husband to do the same so that we really can be married for 50 or 60 years.

    Amy

    January 5, 2011

    I want to lose weight in order to be fit to do the thing sI want to do and to feel good in my skin. I have issues regulating my thyroid that lead to difficulty losing weight so I am more focussed on upping my fitness and I hope the weight will come off in time. Thanks Roni for the inspiration on Green light Bites too!

    roni

    January 6, 2011

    Debbie – I talk about this all the time. It’s a constant mental struggle for me too. I don’t have any specific advice but it something I have covered and will continue to on the blog. Here’s a post that comes to mind where I talk about it a little… http://ronisweigh.com/2009/12/how-do-you-love-the-body-you-have-now.html

    Julie

    January 6, 2011

    I am just starting with a new need to lose weight in 2011 goal. Although, I feel as though my reasons have changed as well. I have always wanted to be skinny, even when I was skinny, I still thought I was fat.

    My dad is currently going through Chemo and we are in the early stages of lung cancer with my mother in law. This has sparked something in me that I no longer want to lose weight to be skinny. I want to be healthy. I want to give my body the best fighting chance it can have to prevent and help any health issues that might come along. So 2011 for me is getting healthy, changing my eating habits towards a more healthy nature than jsut a grab and go, and getting active. I really want to call myself a runner. Who knows how far or fast I will run, but I want to!

    Liz

    January 6, 2011

    I am losing weight because I don’t want to be a statistic. I don’t want my weight to prevent me from doing anything or force me to modify my actions, plans or desires. I want to be the best that I can be: mentally, spiritually and physically.

    prettylittlereckless

    January 7, 2011

    first and foremost I want to lose weight to be healthy, but the other side of me wants to lose weight because I’m tired of looking at pictures of myself and cringing. My mental image and the picture don’t quite add up and I KNOW I can be a better me!

    Cindy

    January 7, 2011

    I’m finally committed in my head and my heart to modify my eating habits – and this is what will help me to lose weight. I want the bikini body, and eventually a healthy pregnancy… I’m ready to show the me I’ve always been on the inside, on the outside!

    Adina

    January 7, 2011

    My reasons for wanting to lose weight are many. When I began my journey two years ago at 280 pounds, it was about survival. I knew at the rate I was going, I would be lucky to live to be 50. I’ve since dropped 75 pounds, exercise 5 days a week, and have incorporated much healthier eating in my life. The reason I want to drop the rest of the weight is to finally, in my adult life, have a weight that begins with a “1”, I want to watch my children grow up, get married and make me a grandma, I want to swim without feeling self-conscious, I want to run and not have body parts jiggling all over the place, I want to inspire others.

    CatB

    January 7, 2011

    Roni- thank you for posting such a helpful rewind! I found you well after reaching your goals, and I’m still at the beginning of my progress, even though I’ve been thinking/talking about it for a while. Really focusing on the core REASONS to get going is always helpful!

    ~m

    January 9, 2011

    I have a 1 year old son who is adventurous. I want to be able to take him to the park for many years and actually play with him instead of just watching him play.

    Karen

    January 17, 2011

    I’m new to the site and exciting about contributing. I need to lose weight due to health reasons. I’m 53 and am a 6-month newlywed-first time. I waited to get married until I found the right one. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. If I lose weight, I can probably get off of a couple of medications but I love food too much and eat from stress. My husband can eat anything he wants and it makes it so hard. I’m trying to be more health conscious. Check out our website www.evans4life.com or our blog, www.evans4life.wordpress.com

    Joyce Manken

    January 17, 2011

    Because I’m very unhappy with my weight, my clothes don’t fit, my knees and ankles are killing me, I can not get motivated, I’m
    hoping write to all you good people will help me .

    Candice

    January 18, 2011

    Dear Joyce…I feel the same way. Let me know if you get any ideas to help with the motivation.

    roni

    January 18, 2011

    Joyce and Candice – Have you guys considered blogger? Joining something like BlogToLose.com? Writing helped me face a ton of feelings and relate to others that felt the same way.

    Candice

    January 18, 2011

    I am a stay at home mom of 2 children under the age of 10. They are both running around having fun, I want to have fun with them. Being at the weight I am I can not do that and it tears me up. This weight is keeping me from being the person I should be, a better mom, a better wife and a better me. I start eating good and do more activities but something happens, I eat a burger or sit around one day and then it feels like a failed and I give up. I know I need to change the way I think but I feel like I am the only one and I am my worst enemy.

    Candice

    January 18, 2011

    Roni, I joined Blogtolose.com today. I started reading the posts and I am very glad to see that there are people out there with the same problems as me. I am not alone but keeping it up is the hard part.

    Camille

    January 20, 2011

    I am tired of not wanting to do stuff with my kids, beacause I am overweight, letting them not enjoy there summer vacation, letting them not enjoy the trip to Jamaica, letting them just not enjoying their childhood. I feel sad everytime I think about the lifestyle I am instilling on my kids. I want to lose weight because I am afraid to die too early and leave my kids without a parent (I am a single mom) and then some one mistreat them. I want to loss weight because I want my kids to see that heathly living is the way to go. I want to lose weight because I want to start living my life, I want to go skiing, I want to learn how to swim, to ride a bike, to cross my legs, to enjoy myself to fall in love. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT TO LIVE.

    Camille

    January 20, 2011

    sorry about the spell but I was a little emotinal

    Anne Marie

    January 21, 2011

    I am ready to begin to live life in a healthier way so that I can be around to see my children and grandchildren get old. Being raised in an unhealthy family and continuing this into adulthood and with my children, has been the easy road. Watching my mom die because she didn’t take care of herself or being the same exact age, weight and unhealthy lifestyle that she was when she died is the hard part. I have watched my daughter, at age 22, make successful and healthy changes in her lifestyle that make me incredibly proud. I can continue to sit back, eat poorly, and be unhappy or I can exercise, eat healthy, and be happy. The choice is mine.

    Mila

    December 14, 2011

    This is something I ask myself when I’m having a motivation low and then see people around me who’ve gone further along their weight loss journey. And I think the ultimate answer is that no matter how hard it can sometimes suck to do the healthier thing – finishing that interval workout, or skipping a falafel wrap for a salad after *working* the falafel line for three hours – what sucks so much harder is being constantly held back due to my body. There, I said it – I will stick to my plan, every day, because it sucks to be fat.

    Sue

    January 16, 2015

    I have always wanted to be skinny. Skinny is pretty and loved and gets all the fantastic looking clothes and people like skinny, some more than others, so skinny doesn’t get looked down upon. But now I am almost 60 with heart problems and other usual old age stuff and I don’t want anymore “I must” or suffer more consequences. It is not an easy road.