One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

My Totally Awesome Yet Completely Insecure Video Shoot

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What a crazy day! By 8:30 in the morning there were all these strangers in my house setting up lights…

Today was the day of my Weight Watchers Ice Cream Video Shoot. I’m currently helping them with a campaign as a spokesperson. This is a completely new adventure for me but one I’ve been excited to experience. I love Weight Watchers, I love Weight Watchers Ice cream AND I love to talk about weight loss. It’s like a marriage made in heaven except for the fact I don’t feel much like a success story being pregnant and up 30 lbs but more on that later.

The crew took about an hour to set up while I got my makeup on.

Thankfully they were a fun relaxed bunch.

The morning consisted of filming me over and over and OVER again. It wasn’t hard just tedious and I was SO nervous recording in front of a crew. I messed up a TON. You’d think I would be fine especially after recording 3 years worth of Ask Roni Videos plus cooking ones for GreenLiteBites. All of which I do in one take with little or no editing.

But this is TOTALLY different. There was a script–that I could NOT stick to–lighting, microphones, sounds checks, professional makeup, props and a Director!

Here’s what I learned about myself: I have no problem being natural in front of a camera when I just react and talk but give me a specific script or line and I’m horrible! Let’s just say I could NEVER act. I don’t know how people do it and look natural at the same time.

Thankfully my speaking parts were all done by lunch. Then we did b-roll shots all afternoon.

Half of them were like the shots above and half had me in them do fun things like stealing cookies and arranging magnets on the fridge.

By the end of the day we were exhausted!

It was a long day but super fun. Overall I felt good but very self conscious. I really wish this opportunity happened when I wasn’t pregnant. I just don’t feel very confident in my skin at the moment. I’m struggling with a bit of body image issues. I’ve been self-conscious of my super short hair and I just feel like I’m starting to look, well, old. I’m in the trifecta of self doubt (body, hair, age) and I totally stuffed all these feelings down with pizza for dinner. Too, too, much pizza. Ugh.

Then I hit my inbox to catch up on some work and I read a comment that made a WORLD of difference. Allison left this on my Exposed: One Year Later post.

What a great post. You go girl. Love following along with you. Keep doing what you do, which is inspire others.

Allison totally made me smile and then I re-read my post and cried, in a good way.

I blame pregnancy hormones.

:)



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Discussion

There are 39 comments so far.

    Sana

    January 5, 2011

    I think you own the short hair, when you cut it off for the first time you were just glowing!!!

    jen (@jeninRL)

    January 5, 2011

    you are gorgeous and inspiring….my friend, you are the whole package!
    and anytime you need reminding you just let me know!!
    much love, jen

    Dana

    January 5, 2011

    Somehow I missed your original post about this (so thanks for linking to it!).

    I’m sure you did great. Did they come out with new products or just new packaging due to the points restructuring?

    I hardly buy WW ice cream because of the price. Skinny Cow is less expensive around here.

    Just curious…did the crew think ‘hey you are supposed to be in front of the camera – not behind it taking pictures of us”!

    Michelle

    January 5, 2011

    it’s ok to have moments like this..remember that you are giving life. and although you have gained weight, it will come off. you’re not defined by your weight lovely..you’re NOT. you’re a beautiful, successful woman who has shared and inspired us so much. go do something nice for yourself…you deserve it. hugs all the way around your beautiful baby bump.

    roni

    January 5, 2011

    Thanks so much guys. :)

    Dana – They didn’t think it was weird at all. Then again I took the pictures super quick between takes.. they didn’t have time to respond. ;)

    Reinaldo

    January 6, 2011

    Dude, you earn to star a WW movie! You inspire people everyday. And you have a free IPad! Ans a loving familiy. Another little guy in the making. Your blog is a success. Just think about that, take a deep breath, and smile!
    I remembered a joke today in front of the bathroom mirror. And I was WTF!?!??!?! Are those…. wrinkles? The crow’s feet or whatever, I think they look hot when I smile. Because, you need to work hard to make me smile!!! If you succeeded,you’ll get to see my sexy smiling face (wich spells 1313 all over the place). Otherwise, I’ll fake a smile in the mouth but my eyes wont smile along.
    You feel weird about the hair? I did too when you first get the haircut. Now, I loved it!!! It gives you personality AND hotness. There, I said it. HOTNESS. (Don’t show this paragraph to the husband :$)

    And the weight? Stop it. Stopt it right there. I get you want to be slim and fit (we all do, right?) but right now, and I’m sorry if I’m harsh, it’s not about you. I do not care if you get big (in your case, slightly bigger). Let’s Evan be born. THEN YOU CAN START TO WORRY ABOUT IT. And we’ll be all over you, giving you support. But right now, and I’m sorry again if I’m harsh, your body weight doesn’t mean an eff. All you should care about is giving Evan a healthy vessel and wait for him. Your belly is bigger? Or butt/ass? Duh, you’re waiting for Evan! You’re pregnant! You’ll be fine!!! You’ll be running and being a healthy mom before you can realize it. But right now, just let Evan grow and not worry!!!! Remember, we are like 2,000 people following you and we will support you when you need it the most.
    YOU ARE NOT ALONE, MY FRIEND. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

    Deb

    January 6, 2011

    Wow.. Well I’m not surprised by this, you are a true role model to women and your kids. I’m so glad I Met you.. Now hand over the ice-cream….. Lol.

    Lisa

    January 6, 2011

    You look gorgeous!

    AJ

    January 6, 2011

    you are an amazing person who is so inspiring- and you ROCK the short hair! I am so glad I have been able to get to know you in real life! Wish we lived closer to each other! :) Congrats on a fun day!! :)

    Gail

    January 6, 2011

    Hi Roni,
    You are adorable girl, and I must say I am so excited I found your blog, I am beginning my journey to get healthy and loss weight about 70 lbs also. You journey had totally inspired me. Your short hair rocks!! yum I like the WW ice cream too..

    CarolineC

    January 6, 2011

    What, you are not always secure and confident and happy? Like every single moment of every day? Oh, thank god. You are human :) You know you are gorgeous, amazing and inspiring. Otherwise WW would not have sent all those dudes to your house in the first place. Everyone has those moments, especially when pregnant. Hang in there…I’m sure you feel better today!

    Rene

    January 6, 2011

    Wait until you hit 40 +, then you will start to feel old. I have a 4 and a 5 year old. I didn’t have them until I was 40/41 but age really bothers me now. It didn’t really bother me at your age.

    Kim

    January 6, 2011

    In a nutshell Roni – you are simply having a bit of temporary amnesia – you woke up and for whatever reason – can’t remember how you really feel about your body, hair and age. (it happens to everyone)

    But I promise this much – it is temporary!

    When I have days like this, I just remind myself that this temporary amnesia does pass – and I will remember how I REALLY feel again.

    When it gets to be too much… lay down, put your hand on your belly and enjoy the rockin’ and rollin’ going on inside…

    ……….Just Temporary……..Remember that………. :O)

    Julie Cooper

    January 6, 2011

    Can’t wait to see your WW campaign. YEAH!!! You Rock!!!!

    Julie J.

    January 6, 2011

    Go Roni!

    lorraine

    January 6, 2011

    Hi Roni…its Lorraine and I found you about three years ago and lost 50 1bs from ww and your site. I’m up 201bs and I rejoined and feel inspired again with you. I’m not beating myself up…like you I love myself no matter how much I weigh.
    I will buy ww icecream and cant wait to brag that I know you..well i dont but I feel i do…lol..
    A big New Year kiss and looking forward with you and your family for the new addition.
    xxxx

    Katy

    January 6, 2011

    Roni,

    As a producer and on-camera person, I feel your pain! I can blog and tweet all day, but when the camera is on, it’s easy to seize up.

    I’ll just say that from my perspective, it’s ALWAYS better to have someone that is loose and natural on camera that makes a few mistakes than someone who reads perfectly and coldly from a TelePrompter.

    Alison

    January 6, 2011

    I tried responding to your email, and it bounced back as junk mail. I am so thankful that I made your day. I meant it. I agreed with what you said in your post your body is awesome, and so are you. It is perfectly natural for you to gain weight and you will take it off again. Just think of the new little guy. He is worth it. I have lost 50 lbs. and I have 15 more to go, which I am struggling with. You inspire me to keep working at it. I am so thankful you do what you do. Keep it up. Oh, and anytime you need a pick me up. E mail me and I will encourage you. Afterall you encourage me.

    Marisa @ Loser for Life

    January 6, 2011

    How cool, Roni!!! I can’t wait to see the videos!

    And you look FAB! No worries :)

    Nicole

    January 6, 2011

    DITTO to what Reinaldo (I have tears in my eyes) and EVERYONE has said. These posts, Roni, are the posts that we read and embrace. They make you human and that is all something we can relate to. Life is a journey not a destination! The roads you travel and share with us, inspire, motivate and teach us all to be the best we can be! We all thank you for that! And little Evan is already thanking you too!!!

    betsy

    January 6, 2011

    hang in there, pregnancy is rough as you know. I am a WW follower, lost about 40 lb 6 years ago to gain 60 lb while pregnant. I mean, it was out of control and to be quite honest, I didn’t like eat my way through the pregnancy. I was so so so so scared I was destined never to lose it but it has come off pretty easily and over half was gone 2 weeks later. hang int here. I am kind of sorry b/c I only took like 3 pictures of myself the entire time I was pregnant and otherwise hid whenever a camera was present. I wish I had been less neurotic about that.

    you are an inspiration!!!

    Lori

    January 6, 2011

    You are beautiful! Can’t wait to see the video.

    Barbara

    January 6, 2011

    I read most of the post above and I agree You are great in front of the camera. I am happy for you that you got this job.
    Old you do not know what old is until you hit 50 then its down hill (ha Ha)
    No its true
    Have a great day

    paula

    January 6, 2011

    you’re absolutely adorable Roni. I’ve been reading you for 3 years and well, you’re flawless, inspiring and well, just an all around great person. It feels like we know you. You just don’t get any more genuine than you are.

    rollercoaster

    January 6, 2011

    how fun! I can understand feeling insecure but I am sure you were great. I ordered a book called “Does this Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?” It should be arriving in the mail soon. I will read and let you know if I learn any bits of wisdom that might help you. Hang in there! :)

    Josie @ Skinny Way Of Life

    January 6, 2011

    I actually love that you are doing this pregnant, I have been an avid reader for years now and this is why i keep coming back. You’re REAL. I am so sick of seeing the success stories on TV and magazine that you can tell are just fake now (you know what I mean!) I can totally relate to the body issues of pregnancy, I was never the one who could flaunt the belly- which when I look back I should have b/c I had a cute round belly! Embrace Roni, you’re beautiful, you’re glowing and you’re very inspiring. Weight Watchers chose you for a reason! you fall like any other person and you know how to pick yourself up out of it. Grab pregnancy by the balls and own it, You got this!! : )

    Jessica

    January 6, 2011

    For someone who has confessed that she can never follow a recipe…Did you really expect a script to be different? Hee hee! ;P You made my day with that!
    And I second Reinaldo. Let Evan get here!!! Then you may fuss to your heart’s content! :)

    Laura

    January 6, 2011

    Middle school yearbooks always said it best:

    “Be yourself. Never change. Have a great summer.”

    You rock, Roni. We are all behind you.

    Tami@nutmegnotebook

    January 6, 2011

    What an exciting opportunity for you!

    Lorri

    January 6, 2011

    Do you have a picture of yourself at the weight you are now and not pregnant? I bet that will make you feel better. 30 pregnancy pounds looks totally different!

    Annalisa

    January 6, 2011

    What a fun experience! I’m glad you said you feel less confident with the pregnancy weight gain. I’m 21 weeks and have put on nearly 20lbs (I seriously have no idea why so much but docs aren’t worried). I feel more chubby than pregnant plus I’ve regained my “youthful acne”. I don’t feel like me but I feel like I should feel better than me since I am creating this whole new life and all. It’s nice to know someone else is struggling with body issues. Thanks again for your honesty! I’m looking forward to the video from today!!

    Lynne

    January 6, 2011

    Are you kidding? YOU ROCK. Love your energy, beauty, strength and outlook on life. Keep doing what you are doing :)

    janna

    January 6, 2011

    i don’t think you look old at all, i think you look gorgeous! and this is coming from a 20 year old, if that makes any difference, haha.

    Marilia

    January 6, 2011

    After the baby is born, you will laugh about your self doubts… because you will lose the weight again (you inspire others, others inspire you), but thank you for sharing them. We all have moments (specially mid-30s) that we realize we keep changing, but later on when we look at a picture we say “how fool was i”. I remember my mom being extremely young and beautiful and full of energy + enjoying it in her 40s. So the problem is all in our (silly) minds…
    I loved this post because i do exactly what the crew does, and I miss it (since I’m at the moment a stay at home brand new mom worried about how am i going to lose the extra pounds.)
    I wanna see the result (the video!)
    best

    Kelly

    January 7, 2011

    Roni- what fun! Thanks for sharing your experience with the film crew. And, I love your short hair- it is so cute and edgy. You are a unique beautiful woman, inside and out.

    Eileen

    January 7, 2011

    Roni, I’ve lost 40lbs since I came across your blog on cnn and was inspired. You live a healthy life, and help change others. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin since losing weight, and as soon as you have Evan, the joys of things like breastfeeding will help you lose the weight you put on. Worry not, and enjoy this amazing time being pregnant!!!

    MaryBe

    January 7, 2011

    I love the short hair and truly, you have never been more beautiful. You have the rest of your life to lose weight and just nine short months to perform a miracle. You know this.
    I am jealous because I’m at that awkward stage – too old to have a baby but too young to be a Gramma. Boo!

    Nichole

    January 7, 2011

    I’m not a food blogger. But I thought the food blogging breakout group at the Type-A Mom Conference sounded interesting, so I went. But I was a little bit late, so I kind of rushed in and sat down in the first chair I saw. When I glanced over at the lady I’d sat next to, I was immediately struck (and a little intimidated) by how pretty she was. But she ended up being very, very friendly, and all was okay.

    (That pretty lady was you, as it turns out.)

    Jen (Making Messes)

    January 8, 2011

    I’ve meant to tell ya on Twitter, but your hair looks FABULOUS blonde! Love, love, love it!