One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

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Stuffed Solemn Sunday

27 Comments 1822 views

I never know how to start these kinds of posts. It’s been a rough weekend.

All started well Saturday morning. I got my butt out of bed and made it to boot camp and then rushed home so I could take little guy to go watch the husband play Gaelic football (side note: not sure if I told you about this.. it warrants it’s own post.) It was a wonderfully beautiful day spent mostly outside playing with friends.

We came home exhausted and the afternoon warranted a nap.

All of a sudden the husband was waking me up and saying "Call your Mom, call your Mom… John had a heart attack."

John is my Step Father. He married my mom when I was 16 and has been an amazing Father figure in my life since the moment I met him.

I was half asleep and had no idea what was going on. I called and talked to Mom. I was in a state of shock. What do you? What could you do? Nothing makes you feel more helpless then when a loved one gets sick. Nothing.

I’m happy to say he is doing better. Today he was moved out of the ICU. They still have to run some tests and he more than likely will need surgery but he is ALIVE. You get to a point where that is all that matters.

After that emotional roller coaster, the little guy started to complain of a headache and he felt warm. We grabbed dinner (out for the third time in as many meals), sent him to bed and settled in for a movie.

A few hours later I hear little guy crying. He was hysterical and quite disorientated. After an hour or so we finally calmed him down and all went to bed.

This morning I thought he was doing better. His fever lowered a bit but he was still lethargic. I thought making muffins would cheer him up. He seemed excited so I started planning a new idea, All Bran Cherry Almond Muffins, but when it came down to baking thm he was to tired. Even the promise of spinkles didn’t get him off the couch. :(

I finished up the muffins and got him to the doctors. He tested negative for strep but the doctor noticed an infection in his right ear. His first ever.

We came home and took it easy for the rest of the day. I headed out later on my own to shop for the week and picked something up for dinner.

Needless to say I’m feeling a little out of it and overwhelmed. In addition to the news of my Step Dad and Little Guys infection, I’m starting my last 2 weeks of work tomorrow, marathon training official begins, I’m trying to nail down a date and venue for FitBloggin’11 and I leave for BlogHer on Thursday. Oh My.. how do I get myself into these situations?! (Do NOT answer that… I know it’s my own fault.)

Of course I found myself seeking comfort in food all weekend. It’s amazing how I almost immediately want to eat when something stressful is happening. It’s like all I’m seeking is that over full feeling. As odd as it sounds, there’s just something comforting about being stuffed.

Food Units
sunday started with 2 experimental cherry almond muffins
just finished a 1egg/2 egg white spinach feta omelet
banana on my way to the store.
dinner was a store bought rotisserie chicken, corn, broccoli and my new fav salad
big bowl of berries with yogurt
1 more all bran cherry almond muffin… they were just calling my name! :)
more ham, cheese and crackers then i really want to admit.
Total: N/A

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator. Follow live @RonisFood



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Discussion

There are 27 comments so far.

    Jess

    August 1, 2010

    Glad to hear your step father is doing better and that the little guy saw the doc. These things can’t be prevented but they sure as hell add LOADS of unnecessary stress to life.

    I think we all go to that overfull feeling because that physical excess takes our minds off of our mental excess that’s overwhelming us. It’s like, when I’m physically stuffed, I don’t think about anything but being physically stuffed. That way, for that one hour or so, my mind is not dealing with everything else that is stressing me out.

    At least now I have my running to cope with things. Keep it up with the marathon training! I think I might have to join you on that marathon run in Vegas. If the marathon and half are the same price, then it just makes more sense to run the full :)

    Add a smile to your Sunday. It was spent with loved ones and you did your best.

    Foodie McBody

    August 1, 2010

    It doesn’t sound odd to me at all. I had a day like that last week, after just running crazy all week, I crashed when it was over. And went straight to food. http://bit.ly/bcVHHK
    I’m glad your stepfather is OK. These moments are so scary.

    Deb - comfycozycrazy

    August 1, 2010

    It’s just life, Roni. It happens. Bad weeks happen, scary things happen. The good thing is you are so much more aware of yourself now. Thanks for sharing your story, it is a gift to all of us who share in these crazy food struggles. You’re not superhuman, you can only do what you can do. But even with a bad weekend, you still inspire. Thank you, and I hope you have a great week!

    Reinaldo

    August 1, 2010

    Hang in there. Rough times do come up now and then. Who cares if you ate a little bit more, it’s just non important right now. Hope your father-in-law and Ryan recover their health soon.

    Christie

    August 2, 2010

    Sorry to hear about your weekend. Sometimes the thought that you have to put into eating better is too much to add when you are already dealing with so many other things. I know it’s like that for me. Plus it’s so easy to eat out when things are going crazy.

    I hope the little guy and your step father heal quickly. I know your little guy must be sick if he wouldn’t even get off the couch for sprinkles!

    Priyanka

    August 2, 2010

    So sorry Roni that you had such an emotional weekend. The good thing is your step-dad is better and the little guy is feeling alright too. Don’t stress yourself about eating out or too much, with all the craziness around I guess sometimes you just have to give in.

    Have a great Monday!

    Krista S.

    August 2, 2010

    Sending good wishes your way for a happy week, Roni. Hugs to the little guy, too. ♥

    shauna

    August 2, 2010

    Sorry to hear you’ve had such a crazy weekend… hope your stepdad continues to improve and your wee son too. Hang in there comrade xx

    Nadine

    August 2, 2010

    Sure, its life and it happens, but its okay to wonder why it has to happen all.at.once. Just remember the food won’t make you feel better, at all. And in these situations, its best to control what you CAN control. What you put in your mouth is definitely one of those things. Hang in there.

    Marisa @Loser for Life

    August 2, 2010

    Food has always been a comfort for me in stressful situations. I think it provides that relief from emotions that we really don’t want to deal with! For me, it’s so much easier to eat than deal :)

    You do have a lot on your plate, Roni! Hard when it happens all at once! Hope everyone is better soon.

    Carolyn @ lovinlosing.com

    August 2, 2010

    So sorry about your step father, but glad to hear he’s doing better! Take everything one thing at a time, set priorities, and BREATHE!

    Helen

    August 2, 2010

    Glad to hear your stepfather is doing better. I hope both his and your little guy’s recovery are speedy!

    There’s nothing unusual at all about wanting to feel stuffed. It’s comforting to have the holes filled – whether they be in our heart or in our stomach. This too shall pass and you will be on your game soon enough.

    Laura

    August 2, 2010

    Hey, Roni. So glad your step father is okay, and that the little guy only has an ear infection. I know it sucks when they’re hardly ever sick and they they get sick… Hope he’s feeling better this morning.

    I so hear ya on the sometimes you just can’t be on your A Game. You just can’t always be there, and it’s so hard to accept that that’s okay. I was just getting ready to post an “ask Roni” today to seek advice/support from you on what you do when you just have doubts, about the whole thing. My feeling usually is “I’m not doing it,” as in “I’m not actually eating right, I’m not losing weight, I’m not actually healthy. I’m not running often enough to “be a runner.”

    It’s so hard, but just like you say–and I always come back to you for this advice, over and over–we are not “on a diet.” We are (well, you more than me) living a healthy lifestyle. It’s hopefully a long life we have a head, and each day adds to that extremely long average of days. And your average at the end is going to be AWESOME.

    Christine

    August 2, 2010

    My thoughts and prayers for your step-father! I hope he’s feeling better. How difficult for all of you!!!

    Jenn (GH)

    August 2, 2010

    Wow that’s a rough weekend. I’m glad you step-father is okay. Sounds like you have a crazy busy week ahead of you.

    Roni — I am so sending you positive vibes from CA. Sounds like overwhelm is the mode.

    My husband — although he didn’t have a heart attack — had a quadruple bypass surgery 12 years ago — at the young age of 41. I have to say he has never been healthier than he is today.

    Here is to a speedy recovery for the little guy and for John.

    Cynthia (It All Changes)

    August 2, 2010

    So sorry Roni. Those calls are so terrifying. I’m glad he is doing better and pray that he will continue to do so.

    Lori

    August 2, 2010

    Sorry to hear about your Step-Father; praying for a full recovery. Weekends like that are the worst and make the coming week feel even longer. I hope you have a great Monday anyway.

    Tish

    August 2, 2010

    I hope things are settling down. Best wishes for both your S-FIL and your little guy. You’ve got it, girl. You’ll get right back on the straight and skinny. It’s one of the things that you CAN control. Hugs.

    mery

    August 2, 2010

    i hope your step father recups soon.

    for me is not about feeling stuffed is more about thinking about what i’m going to eat that decompresses me. well, the thinking and then the actually eating it. but during those stressful moments that’s my crotch to be constantly thinking about what i’ll be eating next instead of actually experiencing the discomfort of feeling stressed, worried, anxious, sad …whatever it is i’m trying to avoid.

    Valerie

    August 2, 2010

    It sounds like now would be a perfect time to spend 5 minutes meditating and perhaps some gentle yoga to get centered and quiet your mind. You have a lot on your plate right now. When I get overwhelmed, I tell my husband that my meatballs are falling off my plate. He knows that means I need to find some peace. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would love meditation. But, I’m finding it to be the calm in the storm that I need. My favorite mantra is ham sa (hahm sahhhhh) which means “I am That.” or “God resides in me.” It’s easy to say and is restorative for me.

    I wish your step father and Ryan well quickly!

    Valerie

    August 2, 2010

    By the way, the stuff you ate wasn’t bad at all… you didn’t run out and buy/eat an entire cheesecake or a large pizza all by yourself. The choices were much better even if you did overindulge in those choices.

    Christina

    August 2, 2010

    Sorry to hear about your tough day but glad to hear your stepfather is ok. And then your son sick on top of it. I hate when life hits too hard all at once. Thanks for sharing–your life is so transparent to us all, I give you so much credit. I feel many people are so guarded this day and age. Anyway, hope it’s all going a bit better today…

    Paula

    August 2, 2010

    Sorry to hear about your Dad. Hope he is well soon.

    Tiger G

    August 3, 2010

    Just breathe.

    Patty (nycgirl0501)

    August 3, 2010

    I hope both your Stepfather & your little guy are doing better today.

    rollercoaster

    August 3, 2010

    Roni, I am so very sorry to hear about your stepfather and your son! You have to be extra spcially good to yourself and try not to beat yourself up. You can only do your best, better than that does not exist :)