Do You Count Calories, Fat or Weigh Your Food?

102 Responses to Do You Count Calories, Fat or Weigh Your Food?

1. Alish says:

   August 25, 2010 at 11:10 am

   I have to weigh/measure because that was what had me in trouble in the first place….I didn’t KNOW what a SERVING was until I did that! And this is a side note, but I feel more motivated by blogs or sites like this if I see food journals or measurements (cups or ounces) to help with daily food ideas. :)
2. Darleen says:

   August 25, 2010 at 11:23 am

   I agree with most of the posts, and think we are on the correct path. It is the obsession and believing we need to look like the girl in the magazine, – when in fact she doesn’t even truly look like that due to airbrushing and photoshop!! I do not think we should be in denial, and become obese or even let ourselves go, with excuse that we are accepting our bodies as is – we should always do our best with everything and treating our bodies correctly, exercising and not letting ourselves go.

   I weigh myself to keep on track – once a week, as otherwise I sometimes lose track, and it is one of many things I do.
   It is because I care about my body and yes I care about how I look.
   I feel better – physically at a maximum weight, and things get our of control if I allow myself to nibble on the unhealthy foods and gain weight.
   I need to look at ingredients in food due to Fibromyalgia and health concerns, so I do.
   I do not count calories however, but do use the method of eating until full, and then stopping. I know what a proper amount of food should be.

   I occasionally allow myself to splurge, as I love chocolate and ice cream. I like wine and beer. I also like Baileys in my coffee. But not every day as my body will feel sluggish if I do, and I don’t want to gain excess weight.

   I cannot love my body when it is over weight, and if I did, I would be obese if I bought into that.

   I do love myself and that translates into being the best person I can be – inside and out!!

   Thanks for the outlet to express opinions.
3. Lisa says:

   August 25, 2010 at 11:31 am

   I count calories. That’s how I lost my weight. After keeping it off for awhile, I thought I could stop counting. I gained about 15 pounds. I am back to counting calories and have lost 10 of those pounds. It works!
4. Lissa says:

   August 25, 2010 at 11:45 am

   For me, it’s like balancing a checkbook. If I don’t weigh/measure/count, I’ll “overspend” what’s in my bank account.

   Over the past year, even before pregnancy, had been giving myself more freedom — and that has helped me get a better grip on eating intuitively, understanding the difference between hunger and emotional eating … and though people will tell me counting is “unhealthy” behavior, like you, Roni, I see it as a tool to my success at maintaining a healthy balance.

   And when the baby is here in a few months, I do plan to rejoin WW again; I know it works and helped keep me sane. But I’ll be doing it without the anxiety of the past, since I feel I have a more balanced, non-disordered frame of mind now.
5. Rita @ The Giggly Bits says:

   August 25, 2010 at 11:51 am

   I had the pleasure of watching that yesterday while it was happening and it was delightful because I think that generalizing anything isn’t a good idea.

   I have been intuitively eating for a month after calorie counting for over a year to lose the weight. That was my goal but for me to discount counting, since it was such an integral part of my journey, would be naive and oversimplifying my journey.

   How we arrive at our eating destination has so many factors, and calorie counting served to educate me on portion size and calorie density, things I may have never learned if I tried to eat intuitively right from the start. I may also still be 223lbs too.

   Everything has it’s place.
6. Danielle S says:

   August 25, 2010 at 12:12 pm

   I saw this on my iphone last night as you guys tweeted but was too tired lol

   I agree with you Roni, I am an ex points counter – lost 75lbs counting points and now I count calories.

   I weight my meals – cereal, creamer in the morning, meat portions, and its more about portion control than seeing a number on the food scale – I have a bad eye when it comes to measuring like that – just like I use my WW 1/2 cup metal spoon to serve my rice – I dont find it obsessive or unhealthy I find it staying on control and its what works for me.

   As for long term – I feel as you do these programs whether you count points or calories – you are able to guetimate where you are in any given day – I need the structure of weighing and using my tools – on the weekends I guestimate and dont stress over it!

   =)
   Danielle
7. Deb - comfycozycrazy says:

   August 25, 2010 at 12:54 pm

   If you’re in weight loss mode it is important to count. I’m counting points, have been for 2 1/2 years. I’m not at goal yet, so I don’t see stopping any time soon. Even when I am at goal, counting seems to come so natural to me, I look at something and automatically see a point value. Is this healthy? I can’t honestly say. I do know that it has helped me get 75 pounds off that I couldn’t seem to do before. I know that I am healthier than I was 75 pounds ago. And if it’s counting that got me there, then there’s gotta be something good about it. I love the idea of intuitive eating. The problem is, I think at some point you still have to take stock of where your body is and what you’re putting into it. I hate to say it, but I intuitively LOVE chocolate and ice cream and pizza. I used to have a bowl of ice cream every night after the kids went to sleep because I truly felt like I needed it. That kind of intuition is gonna get me my 75 pounds right back on my butt. There has to be some discipline, even when feeding yourself what you think you need.

   Hope that made sense!
8. Mary Anne says:

   August 25, 2010 at 1:00 pm

   I’m a licensed psychologist, and I wholeheartedly disagree that weighing food or keeping track of fat/calories is unhealthy. No way, no how. The only way that behavior in itself could be unhealthy is if the weighing/counting is interfering with some other aspect of your life… like you get fired because you come back late from lunch every day because you weighed/counted your food for most of it. I don’t care if you are counting every grain of rice. It is not until it significantly interferes with some aspect of your life that it becomes unhealthy. Now, WHAT and how much you eat as a result of that counting/weighing is another story altogether!
9. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

   August 25, 2010 at 1:06 pm

   Wow — I had no idea my comments on Twitter last night would create such a stir! But I’m grateful for the discussion. I appreciate all of your thoughts and comments – both ones that agree and disagree – as we all have a right to our opinions and sharing what works (or doesn’t work) for each of us only help others even more.

   So thanks!

   As I was limited to my 140 characters per ‘tweet’ yesterday, I’d like to clarify a few things:

   But first let me state that as someone who has worked with hundreds (if not thousands) of women (and yes, even some men!) with weight-loss, healthy eating, and having a healthy relationship with food – along and with my education and background in nutrition, and from my personal experience – these are my personal thoughts.

   I do agree that counting calories can be helpful at first, which I did mention in my tweet yesterday :)

   With the portion sizes today, and the unhealthy (and often hidden) ingredients in food today, along with so many other factors today…..we do need to educate ourselves.

   However – I have found that ‘counting’ cannot be sustainable over the long-run. And many studies show that diets don’t work. And pretty much most diets consist of counting in some shape or form (but that’s not the only reason typical diets don’t work).

   One such study was done by UCLA on the effectiveness of dieting. Among those who were followed, 83 percent gained back more weight than they had lost. If you were sick and the doctor suggested a something that would make you worse, would you still follow it? (Just something to consider…)

   While counting clearly works for some people in the short-term, I personally don’t recommend calorie counting to my clients because I think it is a time-consuming task that often makes people more anxious about what they are eating rather than eating based on feelings of hunger and satiety. I teach my clients how to read nutrition labels and ingredients in food so they can make educated decisions about what to eat, but having them count numbers for the rest of their lives (and who wants to?? Surely not me…) is just not sustainable.

   And if you look closer – the majority of people trying to lose weight….it’s not just about the ‘food.’

   In a nutshell — Our relationship with food goes BEYOND food. It’s not that we “just love food” or that “we can’t stop eating” or that we “overeat.” Sure, these are things that people do – by WHY they do that is what one needs to look at.

   Counting calories is not going to help you in that area. In order to lose weight, and keep it off for the long-run (which is often the most difficult) one needs to look at themselves and their body as a whole – and not just what is on their plate.

   All too often calorie counting is just another way of feeling one has ‘control’ over food. But if you think about it, if one is constantly counting calories, fat grams and weighing their food – who REALLY has control?

   Now all of this said – let me point out that a lot of my clients are either former or current Weight Watchers people (and all have been one 3 or more diets). So they still ‘count’ their points, but over time working with me they see the weight loss is so much more than just numbers. And more than just calories in vs. calories out (as we’re all different and process calories differently…but that could be a blog post in itself).

   On top of that – everyone is different! And in my work I look at each individual and they have to find what works for them.

   If one does count calories (or points, or fat grams or whatever) eventually one needs to focus on how food makes you FEEL (which I pointed out in the Twitter discussion last night). And one needs to start looking for INTERNAL cues, as opposed to external cues (like counting and weighing) in order to really keep the weight off.

   As anyone who has followed me for a while, knows that I don’t push my beliefs or opinions on them. My goal is for everyone to find what works for them as an individual. But I still say that if one counts calories, fat grams, or weighs food does not have a healthy relationship with food.

   Because food is controlling you. And you’re not listening to your internal cues. Yes, it does take time to get to that place – and ‘counting’ can be a tool one uses at the beginning of their journey (as hey, it is a journey!), but for sustainable weight-loss and to have a positive relationship with food, counting will not ‘solve’ your issues.

   Because if losing weight, and having a healthy relationship with food were just about the FOOD, many more people would not be overweight.

   Hey, we all KNOW how to lose weight – so what’s holding us back? That’s a good question for us to ponder.

   But I enjoy this discussion and I appreciate everyone’s feedback!
   Thanks Ronni for opening this discussion even more :)
10. Deanna - The Unnatural Mother says:

    August 25, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    I have to say that I agree Roni, that there has to be a balance. When I finally got serious abbout losing weight after years of jockeying around I kept a food journal, the toughest thing I ever had to do, I hated it, but it kept me accountable, eyeball my calories and tp look at my week at a glance so I knew when to give and take. I also logged my exercise and water, I lost 58 pounds, need to lose 15 more. I journaled every week for 55 weeks, some weeks I logged every day, others when I was more confident With myself and not binging it went to 1-2x a week. Suddenly, I found myself off track, and guess who is journaling again? This girl because I KNOW MYSELF and what works for ME – a few weeks of journaling and I’ll be able to feel confident again. It’s about finding a system, “thing”, “plan”, whatever that works for you, and you only. This CAN NO WAY be a general answer for the total popluation of individuls that want to lose weight. Just my humble opinion!
11. Jeri Lyn says:

    August 25, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I count calories, watch my fat, watch my carbs, watch my sugar & weigh my food. I also struggle daily to have a healthy relationship with food. Let’s face it, i’m not sure there are very many people who have a “healthy” relationship with food. That’s why there are so many overweight & obese people in this world. So why not use some of the tools that are offered to us?? I LOVE my food scale, but also don’t take it to restaurants with me!! ;)
12. Tami@nutmegnotebook says:

    August 25, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    Hot topic! Yes I do weigh and measure my food sometimes not all the time. I do use a food scale when I am cooking for accuracy. I can’t help but count WW points after having done so for many years. I don’t obsess about it and I think I have a very healthy relationship with food. It is not a one size fits all when it comes to weight loss and disordered eating. We all have to find the right balance for us.
13. Christine says:

    August 25, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Saying I should not count calories is like saying I should not balance my checkbook. Certain checks and balances are required to keep my spending at bay and my food consumption as well. Not everyone is like this but for me its a necessity.
14. Colleen says:

    August 25, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    I actually just started weight watchers so I’m measuring out all of my portions so that I am honest about my points. That being said, my portions were way out of control, lol. My breakfast yesterday ate up half of my points. I am learning how to properly nourish my body now.
15. Jen @ KUrunner says:

    August 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    I don’t think counting/weighing/Points/whatever is inherently bad. But I don’t think it’s a long-term way to maintain weight. I mean, I’m sure there are people who have counted every calorie that goes in their mouths for 20 years — but I definitely wouldn’t consider that to be a healthy relationship with food.

    Of course, I’m more of a Geneen Roth sort of girl.
16. Jen @ KUrunner says:

    August 25, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Oh, and just to add, I think that if someone had a healthy relationship with food, they would never have gotten to the point where they need to count calories. Judging from the comments, it’s probably not a popular opinion, but if someone’s eating was “normal,” chances are they wouldn’t be overweight.

    (And no, I don’t consider my eating normal.)
17. krissie says:

    August 25, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    I had a strong reaction last night to the tweets. I even outlined a response (on paper!) and let myself sit with it until today. And then I decided to do a post of my own instead of just here.

    But my 2cents? I count calories. I’m not obsessive, but I count. It may not be what I want to do every day, but when I look at when I’m losing weight vs. when I’m gaining weight, the behavior that makes or breaks it is counting calories. I eat quality foods, I indulge every now and then, I’m not perfect. But I’m counting.

    And, when I do it correctly, it works. And I think it improves my relationship with food. Because it makes me take the time to notice, enjoy, and respect food.

    Nice question. Thank you for standing up for the counters/measurers out there!
18. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 25, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Thanks to Jen @ KURunner for saying it VERY well: “I think that if someone had a healthy relationship with food, they would never have gotten to the point where they need to count calories.”

    EXACTLY. If you had a healthy relationship with food, then you wouldn’t need to count or be counting calories.

    Counting calories can assist you in getting to a place where you have a healthy relationship with food — but as I stated in my original tweet….if you DO count calories you do not have a healthy relationship with food.
    Get it?
19. Darleen says:

    August 25, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    All wonderful comments. I agree mostly with @ KURunner for saying it VERY well: “I think that if someone had a healthy relationship with food, they would never have gotten to the point where they need to count calories.”

    However – here is my story abbreviated as I am 55 :)
    I ate whatever I wanted my entire life, and stopped eating when full, and did not eat anything I did not enjoy. Eating for me has always been due to being hungry. Certain foods I enjoy more than others.
    My mother instilled healthy eating patterns and fact we did not have excess dollars for junk food while growing up. When I left home I rebelled a bit and drank lots of pepsi, and stuffed myself with donuts, chocolate bars and gave up on apples and other fruit. I stuck with meat, potatoes and vegetables – as I always liked. I soon began craving apples and other fruit, and eat them daily ever since. I slowly weaned myself off pepsi as it made me feel ill, and cut back on chocolate bars, chips and other snack junk foods over the years in order to keep my weight in check – about age 45. I never gained weight and in fact until I was 45, I was considered to be underweight but mostly healthy. I never dieted, other than after having my babies I started eating breakfast more regularly, as post baby 5 lbs was sticking and I wanted to look good in a bikini – it worked and I stuck to eating breakfast.
    Once I hit perimenopause however, the weight started to stick.
    That was about age 45 – 52. Once reaching menopause I have more weight on me than I feel comfortable with, and struggle to get to where I do feel comfortable – not a number, just where I am comfortable with my aging body :) So far I have had to learn more about food than I ever have before, simply due to fact my body is processing food differently.
    If I ate now when I was hungry only – it would be rarely, as I often do not feel hungry. I do have Fibromyalgia and have used nutrition and exercise to manage, and will be doing a 7 day cleanse according to Dr Mark Hyman’s books starting Sept 12th, and try to sort out which foods are giving me problems. I exercise to feel better, not to look better.

    So we need to listen to our bodies, and learn what is good for us, and learn what works best for each of our bodies. Definitely we should not obsess, or go by what the latest trends are in fashion – or try to be someone we can never be. It is similar to how we manage our hair – I have short hair and feel great with short hair, while others would not feel right with short hair. I love the colour red – you might hate it. BE true to you. Eat for enjoyment of taste and to sustain your body, the best way possible.

    As @lissa notes that she treats eating like balancing a checkbook – which is one method that others I have encountered. It works as focuses on eating healthy but not denying yourself anything, not counting and eating for enjoyment of food – the French method :) Very similar to intuitive eating that Dineen teaches and coaches with Eating Without Guilt.

    It is not always that you do not have a healthy relationship with food, you may be not eating foods that your body can process properly, and changes in your body. This happened to me. You are what you eat they say — and most of my life – I was a cupcake!! Now I need to be a healthy cupcake :)

    Oh — taking scale into restaurant? Love it!! I would like to do, just to get reactions – video it and post on YouTube. I only weigh foods when cooking and baking to get accurate measurements. But would be a hoot to haul out a large scale and start weighing the food at the restaurant table!!

    Thanks Roni for expanding the chat from last night, from myself as well, so could get some things said.
    I feel better now. And hungry.
20. Blake says:

    August 25, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    Do what works for you. Everyone has their own ideas of what a “healthy relationship with food” is. If counting calories or whatever helps you make better decisions and helps you stay healthy, great.
21. Pubsgal says:

    August 25, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    From my perspective (person with type 2 diabetes), when I was starting out, I had to focus on learning the mechanics of eating-to-my-body’s-needs first. So there was a lot of working with a nutritionist and doctor, weighing and measuring foods, meal planning, carb counting, food journaling, and tracking how foods affected my blood glucose levels. As Evelyn Tribole (co-author of the “Intuitive Eating” book and MS RD) states, “Hunger and fullness cues are not accurate when you are in the midst of an eating disorder. Diabetes can make it even more complicated. For example, elevated blood sugars can cloud thinking and make it difficult to beattuned to your body.” (Article, “Can Intuitive Eating Be Used to Treat Diabetes and Bulimia,” http://l.wbx.me/l/?p=1&u=http://nutrition-info-411.evelyntribole.com)

    Over time, I’ve internalized a lot of the processes. I still track my blood glucose levels daily; I do some “spot checking” of my weighing and measuring to ensure that I maintain a realistic sense of portions; I make sure that I watch my carb intake, focusing on higher-quality carbs and balancing them across meals; and the like. I’ve worked to remove the “forbidden fruit” aspect of my food, and I’m comfortable with my particular balance of mechanical/intuitive eating. I’m not sure if this qualifies as “having a healthy relationship with food,” but it’s keeping my body healthy (so say my a1c and cholesterol numbers). That’s what counts for me.
22. Lydia says:

    August 25, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    Sue says it as I would: “I’m okay with it, knowing that I’m way healthier using these tools–Calories without judgment, exercise without obsession, Numbers without melodrama–as a part of learning about myself. Its just data. I’ve never felt better–inside or out.”
23. Michele says:

    August 25, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    I lost 65 pounds on Weight Watchers 3 years ago. I no longer count anything but I weigh and measure just about everything. When I go out, I eat what I want and I don’t worry about it. I would not say my relationship with food is unhealthy because I weigh everything. I just like to keep my portions in control.
24. Paula says:

    August 25, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    I watch the fat content & that has helped me alot. I am currently counting calories, but it has been recommended to weigh as it is more accurate than cups. Any ideas on that? I have been told you have a very accurate scale can you tell me what kind it is? What is your thoughts on measuring vs weighing?
25. RG says:

    August 25, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    Ironically, I think counting helps me the most when I’m overeating. If I eat in an ideal manner – fruits, low-fat dairy, protein, large vegetable servings – then I know I’m okay. But when I’m eating junk, it’s easy to lose track of how much I’ve eaten. If I overreact and think I’ve destroyed the week, then it’s hard to get back on track. If I measure, then I think “okay this was a small/ medium/ large splurge, but the net effect is that I’m not losing weight today/ 3 days but I’m still losing weight over the week/ month”. I think counting is a way to become “intuitive”, meaning that I don’t think the brain can hold the information of everything I’ve eaten for a month but it can hold the pattern of calorie in/ out. Can you imagine marathon training without knowing how far or how long your long run was every Saturday? That’s how I diet, not aiming for perfection but just aiming to be a little better this week than last week.
26. Josie- Skinny Way Of Life says:

    August 25, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    I think weighing and counting is unrealistic in a way..here’s my reason, I’ve been overweight since the age of 3 and I can look back now and not remember one time being hungry. I never FELT hungry, I would eat and eat because it was there and I liked the taste. I came to know the overeating bloated feeling as being satisfied.

    When I became a teenager and decided to make a difference in the way I ate and lived I had to LEARN what hungry was and what satisfied actually felt like. I still struggle with this. I’ve tried weighing my food but I felt constricted and would wind up overeating later.

    For me, it’s a mental game. I have to listen to what my body is trying to tell me and at times I have to stop in the middle of a meal and ask myself if I’m truly hungry anymore. It’s been a long process but by listening to my body I’ve been able to keep a 50lb weightloss through college and 2 pregnancies : )
27. Stephanie says:

    August 26, 2010 at 4:38 am

    I definitely agree with you. I would even go a bit further… As long as the food I put into my body is healthy and balanced it doesn’t really matter if I count calories or fat or even weigh out things at the restaurant or a friend’s party. If I feel good with what I am doing and the result is good for me it’s fine.

    I have to count. I get off track as soon as I do not count. Years ago a day without counting would keep me off track for maybe half a year. By now I have learned to get back and it’s just about 6 to 10 lb my weight goes up and down and not 30 to 50. I like to eat, I like food but I need help with the balance-thing.
28. Cindy Hanson says:

    August 26, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Well, duh. Of course counting, weighing, and journalling signal “an unhealthy relationship with food.” BUT SO DOES LABELING YOUR OBSESSION WITH FOOD “INTUITIVE.” The only way most of us would be truly intuitive eaters is if we suddenly found ourselves in a hunter-gatherer society, chasing after our meals, intuitively punching out anyone who might be pulling ahead of us in the race for the gazelle. It is absolutely natural to desire more food when more food is available, and in our food-glutted society, when is it not? The entire “intuitive eating” thing irritates me. It’s just another way to sell another book and another diet, and another way to make people feel bad about their choices….so they’ll buy the book and the diet. PS: I can’t wait to see the stats on weight loss maintainance for the inuitive eaters in about 10 years…when the fad is long gone, replaced by the next thing to sell and to buy.
29. Emily Rose (@FitTwitEmily) says:

    August 26, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Cindy – THANK YOU for that post!!!
30. Nicole S. says:

    August 26, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I’m not sure if anyone brought this up, but what about people like me who have a food addiction? That’s like telling a crack addict to manage their addiction by how they feel. It’s been a life long battle for me and I’ve finally reached a point, like you Roni, where I’ve learned to listen to my body more. However, I still need those controls to fall back on because the biggest problem with an addiction is that oftentimes your brain chooses to disregard your body no matter how hard you try.
31. Cindy Hanson says:

    August 26, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    You’re welcome, Emily Rose. I do not have a blog, nor do I comment often, but the spirit moved me on this one.
    Nicole, I think you make an important point, one that most people can sympathize with, even if they do not have a food addiction.
    I commend “EatWithoutGuilt” for following up her tweet with a long comment here, but in my opinion, she uses “studies” to create fear in those of us who have found other ways to manage our food intake. EVERY normal-sized person I know uses different strategies to control their weight when it starts moving up the scale. My mom is 71, plays tennis four times a week, and she has been slender most of her life; nevertheless, she loves to eat and love a glass (or two) of wine in the evenings. Whenever the scale moves too far up, she cuts back on her intake or the wine. It may not be a formal system of calorie counting, but it amounts to the same thing, and she’s done it all her life. My husband has been super skinny all his life, but every so often, he gains 10 lbs or so. When he does, he cuts back on snacks. Since I was 19, I have been on WW, have counted carbs, calories, etc. I’m 49 and I’ve never been more than 15 lbs. overweight in all these years, even counting when I was pregnant. Counting CAN be sustained for a lifetime, and I consider it a lifesaver in my case. DO NOT feel guilty or helpless about the ways you stay healthy!
    Rant over. :)
32. roni says:

    August 26, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    And that, Cindy, is EXACTLY why I disagreed with her initial tweet. Why make people feel bad for finding a system that works for them? Especially if they are happier and healthier because of it!
33. Cindy Hanson says:

    August 26, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Exactly! The reason I love reading your blog, Roni, is *because* you have a healthy relationship to food, and even more important, to yourself.
34. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 26, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    I’d like to point out that my initial tweet had NOTHING to do with people doing what works for them! If you followed what I did, you’d know I HELP people find what works for THEM.

    And my original tweet of counting calories meant if you were counting calories EVERY DAY (again, in a 140 character tweet I’m limited) especially over a period of years, hell yes, that’s not healthy.

    Cutting back from time-to-time or counting from time-to-time is fine. Like I ALWAYS say, it’s about moderation in everything. Which I agreed with you on Twitter during that same conversation.

    I also do not always ‘back up’ my info with statistics and studies. But when almost every single study out there says that dieting doesn’t work for the majority of the people out there — with a failure rate anywhere between 80-95%…well, that tells you something.

    If counting calories, fat grams and weighing food worked over the long term (what is typical of most of the traditional ‘diets’ out there), then we wouldn’t be a nation of overweight and obese people.

    Yes, I get there are other reasons — but as anyone who has successfully lost weight and kept it off for more than 5 yrs can tell you, it’s not just about the “food” (or the calories, fat grams, etc).

    It’s about learning to listen to YOU and YOUR BODY more, and not always looking to outside things (like scales, fat grams, etc) for the magic solution.

    And it’s not just about intuitive eating (which people seem to assume that’s all I teach). I help people find what works for THEM. And if counting calories works for you — I say go for it!

    All I meant in my original tweet is that if you obsessively count (like all the freakin time)….then that is not having a healthy relationship with food.

    And I did NOT mean it for anyone to feel guilt EVER about eating something, counting something — I mean heck, my business name is eat WITHOUT guilt! C’mom! That’s what I have always stood for, and what I will continue to stand for.
35. Carol says:

    August 26, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    I think as a society that we don’t know what a true “portion” size looks like! I don’t see the harm in weighing your food until you become adjusted as to what portions look like. I for one tend to think my portion sizes should be bigger than they actually are, so weighing my food keeps me on the right path.
36. roni says:

    August 26, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Dinneen – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were being put under a microscope. or being attacked in any way.

    I think the reason why I responded to your initial tweet and why others have followed suit is because you made a blanket statement that infers (I understand the 140 thing but this is besides the point) that those of us that do count or weigh have an unhealthy relationship food. End of period. End of story. You even ended the tweet with a snarky “Sorry to tell you that..” like we are clueless of this fact or need help in some way.

    I don’t want this to get to out of hand or for anyone to feel like they are getting attacked but I’m glad we had our initial interaction because it has start a wonderful in depth conversation!
37. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 27, 2010 at 9:00 am

    I know it wasn’t your original intention to have me put under a microscope (or feel like I was). From the start I saw that you were just trying to create a dialog — and a healthy one (no pun intended!)– and it was all in good intentions.

    However, when people are commenting saying or implying that I’m just trying to sell my courses (what?!), or that I’m trying to make people feel guilty (um, the name of my business clearly implies that I don’t…), and implying that I don’t know what the heck I’m talking about (though I’ve been trained in nutrition, have had my own issues with food and my relationship with it, and have helped hundreds, if not thousands, of women with their body image and weight loss issues)….

    and I’ve been taught & trained by some of the world’s top leaders in nutrition (including mind-body, emotional eating, etc….) including: Geneen Roth, Deepak Chopra, Andrew Weil, Walter Willet (head of Nutrition at Harvard)…..just to name a few…

    So when people are commenting and implying (or clearly stating) those things I mentioned — then heck yes, I’m going to feel attacked and put under a microscope.

    Which is the reason why I added in additional comments earlier to state my point of view and to clarify my original tweets — and the reason for my private inquiry to you asking if you’d allow me to explain my side.

    As it is your blog, I expected you would have chimed in or at least replied to my private request earlier.

    So when me and my business — and the integrity of both of them — are being scrutinized and attacked – then I’m going to stand up and protect it. And I would hope you would do the same if you were in the same situation.
38. Amanda G says:

    August 27, 2010 at 9:54 am

    I think Dinneen is still missing the point that some are trying to make. She states that she helps people find whatever works for them but that if counting and weighing work for them, it’s unhealthy.

    Counting and weighing does not work for everybody and some can become obsessed with counting. However, just because you count or weigh does automaticly mean it is unhealthy. Cindy has counted for 30 years. She sounds like she is in control of her eating. I hope I can use that as an inspiration.

    I have been maintaining for a year by counting and do not intend to stop. It does not weigh on my mind when I’m out – I still enjoy myself and if I happen to eat something that I don’t know the points for then I just don’t count that day. But I count for 99% of the time and I think this is the healthiest relationship I have ever had with food.
39. roni says:

    August 27, 2010 at 11:01 am

    Dinneen,

    First of all I misinterpreted your private message. My apologies. I thought you were asking me to write a guest post explaining my point of view. Hence my response of “I don’t have time at the moment.” to which you never responded to nor attempted to clarified. Regardless, I did misread and I’m sorry.

    However, I don’t appreciate you telling me I should have chimed in earlier. It is my blog (as you stated) and I thought I did a good job of responding as soon as I felt you were starting to get attacked. I monitor all my comments throughout the day but I’m not online every moment to immediately catch a comment that you may find insulting. My response to your DMs were also as timely as possible. I manage my time the best I can.

    You have every right to stand up and protect your point of view and I appreciate you doing so. As I stated earlier, I didn’t want this to get out of hand but I can see it may have already been too late for that.

    As this is my blog I will defend my point of view as well. At the end of the day you still made a blanket statement that makes people feel ashamed or guilty (yes, guilty) about a particular approach to eating (ie counting or weighing) that, as you can tell from some of the prior comments, is working for people. The funny thing is I agree with you. Counting got me to the point where I don’t need to count. I’m not obsessive about weighing every little thing but doing so initially taught me so many invaluable lessons and got me to this point. But again… saying, profusely and without a doubt that “if one counts calories, fat grams, or weighs food [one] does not have a healthy relationship with food.” well, it’s insulting and and simply not true. There isn’t a one size fits all lifestyle. Everyone needs to find what works for them and that may very well include counting and weighing. This is the point you don’t seem to understand. You are completely discounting an approach that works for me and many others.
40. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 27, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    And if you read my further explanation — along w/my tweet:

    “Counting calories can help in beginning…but not sustainable. No way. Not over long run. And who wants to?”

    I AGREE that counting can help to get people to a place where they DO have a healthy relationship with food — hence, do not need to count anymore (at least not on a day to day basis). Exactly what I explained in a previous comment in more detail.

    And to your comment: “There isn’t a one size fits all lifestyle. Everyone needs to find what works for them and that may very well include counting and weighing. This is the point you don’t seem to understand.”

    I have repeated over & over that everyone needs to find what works for them. I’ve stated that more than once. I agree with that. And in our original tweets, you mentioned it’s about education & balance — which I agreed with :)

    However, losing weight and having a healthy relationship with food are NOT the same thing. A lot of people I work with have very UNhealthy relationships with food — yet half of them are NOT overweight.

    And all too often its the dieting, counting, etc over years that brought them to the point that food is no longer just food. And why they have a broken relationship with food.

    Being “thin” does not equal having a healthy relationship w/food. Just like being overweight does not equal an unhealthy relationship with food.
41. roni says:

    August 27, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Again.. we agree and I think we have always been on the same page. My only issue is that you don’t see (or you refuse to admit) how your initial tweet does help spread a message of shame and guilt. Like, by counting or weighing we are doing something wrong. That is really the only thing I took issue with. That’s what started this whole conversation.
42. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 27, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    I don’t see how one tweet spreads a message of shame & guilt. Whether it be from me or anyone else. Again, why people need to listen to themselves and not outside forces. Then can listen to it, use it as education or whatever — but if they feel guilt by reading one tweet, then there is definitely something deeper going on (in my opinion).

    That was not my intention at all. It was merely reply to the tweet chat — as people over & over tell themselves they do have a healthy relationship with food – yet break out in a sweat because whole milk has 8 grams of fat (!) and can’t ever bear themselves to drink it.

    And then they feel guilty because: 1) they really want the whole milk, but don’t have it because it will make them feel ‘guilty’ 2) they have the skim milk but then aren’t satisfied 3) they have the whole milk but feel guilt or are ashamed because they’re not ‘supposed’ to have anything over 5 grams of fat (or whatever is the latest trend…)

    If one tweet makes someone feel guilty — then that was never my intention.
43. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 27, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Oh…and I never said counting was WRONG — I said if you count you do not have a healthy relationship with food.
44. Darleen says:

    August 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    All good posts. I don’t agree with the statement:” If you count you do not have a healthy relationship with food.”
    I might be better to say, that you are fooling yourself if you only count calories. As not all calories are equal, but I believe everyone in this discussion I think realizes this, and about a balanced diet etc.
    Also many have gone from calorie counting to intuitive style eating – the progression seems to help, since has developed nutritional savvy and then can learn how to enjoy each mouthful.
    I never set out to make Dineen feel under attack – but more clarification. I have been troubled lately with many that promote loving your body as it is NOW, in order to get results with making it better. That does not work for me and many others – and I wonder at this recommendation. How can loving something that I do not like – help me to get to a body that I like? I believe it is regarding letting go of the negative thoughts and messages sent to ourselves, thus we will get more negative coming back, as we have programmed our minds that we are worthless fat blobs. So we need to focus on positive.
    Maybe we should all focus on positive in this discussion to take it to a happy ending?
    Just my thoughts.
45. roni says:

    August 27, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    YES! I’d love to end it on a positive and I appreciate you bringing it back around as I don’t see us resolving the initial discussion at all.

    On that positive note I think many of us that were involved in this conversation have found our own unique ways to find balance and live just a little bit healthier. That may mean enjoying the whole milk or it may mean learning to appreciate the skim (or in my case the almond. ;). Regardless, we don’t need to feel shame or guilt for our food choices. It’s about making the most educated conscious decisions that are right for us.
46. rollercoaster says:

    August 27, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    Wow, I love this dialog about this topic. It really brings to light the true, deeper issues surrounding food. So many times we attach value judgements to eating (this food is bad, that food is good, I am bad because I am fat, I am bad if I count calories, I am good if I count calories). All of this judgement, regardless of how we each apply it to ourselves, is what contributes to the unhealthy relationship with food. We are each acting out our irrational beliefs using food.

    If someone reads the tweet and feels guilty for counting calories, it’s because the tweet triggered them to feel like they are doing something wrong. Are they doing something wrong? Of course not! Counting calories is not inherently right or wrong. However if we use it to place value on ourselves (I went over my calories so I am bad, I stayed on target for calories so I am good) THAT is where the problem lies. A more rational way of looking at it would be straight facts, I went over my calories, tomorrow I will try harder. I stayed on target for my calories, I will effort to do the same tomorrow.

    Blanket statements generally get us in trouble because everyone is different. The goal is balance and not feeling we are “good” or “bad” in relation to our food intake.
47. Foodie McBody says:

    August 29, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Wow. I have so much to say here. I actually can’t believe that Dineen said that – twice! because she has been such an amazing support to me, and I had no idea she believes that.
    I do count points (um, I am a WW leader) AND I have a food blog. I believe that being mindful and aware are both really a part of having a healthy relationship with food. I think that what one DOES with that information (calories, points, weighing food, whatever) is where the “unhealthy” part can come in. If one uses that information to feel guilty, to punish oneself, to say that you or your food is “bad,” well, I think those are all unhealthy ways of relating to food. But for me, often I’m just curious. I’m trying to understand my own patterns. I want to be an informed consumer of food. Often I am surprised by what I find if I count or weigh my food and I’ll decide to choose differently- mindfully.
    I’m fascinated by the differences between “mindful” and “intuitive” and while they share many commonalities, I also think there are distinctions between the two. I think I’m coming down strongly in the mindful camp, which includes utilizing information like calories, one’s own weight, weighing food etc., but in a calm and stress-free way.
48. Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt says:

    August 31, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Darleen, rollercoaster, and Foodie McBody — you have great insight and I agree with what you all are saying!

    It’s just unfortunate that my original tweet, along with my follow-ups, were meant to do good and not make anyone feel guilt or shame. But yes, it’s all coming around to the positive which is healthy :)

    All of you mentioned one of the things I was trying to put out there — that counting points, calories or whatever can be part of a healthy relationship with food. What one DOES with that information, and how they use it — is often where the unhealthy part can come in.

    And as @rollercoaster put well into words — “I might be better to say, that you are fooling yourself if you only count calories.” I agree. And then she also said well: “Counting calories is not inherently right or wrong. However if we use it to place value on ourselves (I went over my calories so I am bad, I stayed on target for calories so I am good) THAT is where the problem lies.” I completely agree again.

    A LOT of the people I work with are on or follow Weight Watchers, or and working with me they still count points. And I encourage them to continue what’s working for them — and tweaking some things better fit for their body.

    And for those who eventually wean off counting per se, I personally feel it’s okay to go back to it to “check-in” or regroup, or be more mindful as to how much one is eating.
49. Patty @NYC Girl at Heart says:

    September 1, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    I weigh all new foods until I become comfortable to what a serving size is. Each person’s relationship with food is their own, it may take years to even recognize that one piece of information. I like the way you make scales, weighing self and weighing food all seem like tools to help. I’m getting that in my head so they don’t feel like chores. Journaling…still a chore for me!
50. MargieAnne says:

    September 2, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    counting calories was easy before we went metric in the ’60s. New Zealand. Ever tried to cope with kilojoules or worse conversion?

    Weighing is very occasional and only used to check portion sizes when they might be getting ridiculous or for new foods.

    Counting Grams of carbohydrate was useful until I understood portion sizes.

    I 100% agree with Kimberli quoted here.

    ‘Kimberli { 08.25.10 at 7:42 am }

    In my personal opinion, I think (especially in the beginning/learning stage) counting calories and nutrient grams is absolutely essential (along with keeping a food log – again my personal opinion).’

    As for whether counting is unhealthy … Being fat is unhealthy. If counting helps eat healthy foods and balance nutritional needs then counting is healthy. But I do understand that counting can be a symptom of an unhealthy relationship with food.

    I’m not perfect. I think I generally have a good relationship with food but the fat I carry and my history of yo-yo dieting tells another story.

    Let personal experience and peace of mind be the guide is quite possibly the best advice. Learning good nutrition is imperative.