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I’ve been keeping a big secret and that’s been eating me up inside. This week I was suppose to tell you all the good news. I found out the week of FitBloggin‘. Can you imagine? Here I am hosting the biggest event of my life knowing I have a new life inside of me. You have no idea how badly I wanted to announce it every time I had that microphone in my hand.

But I didn’t. It was to early. I was about 6 weeks.

I told a few people here and there but I wasn’t ready for the world to know. The following week was Easter. We told our family and had our first sonogram. Things looked good but the baby was smaller then expected. They told me I was probably just a late ovulator. Nothing to worry about. They drew blood just to be sure.

I was starting to feel nauseous. I felt bloated. All good signs. I was happy.

A couple of years ago I was sure I didn’t want any more kids. I explained a little in this video but late last year I started to reconsider that decision.

I don’t know what changed. Something just seemed missing. Our family, all of a sudden, didn’t feel complete. My little guy has been growing up so fast. I feel young. I feel healthy. The husband and I have been blessed with good jobs. We were able to buy a big house in a great school district. We even like being parents and hey, we’re good at it. At least we think we are. :)

So we decided to leave it up to chance. All birth control…. off the table. If it happened it happened. If it didn’t it didn’t and it wasn’t meant to be. That was how we decided to proceed.

A few months later I presented a positive pregnancy test to an awfully shocked husband. His reaction was priceless. He was happy then scared then happy then scared. I was happy. It felt right. And I smiled thinking that by the end of this year we’d be blessed with a new baby.

The blood test came back showing an increase in hormone levels. All appeared good but I had a feeling that something was wrong. Another ultrasound was scheduled to be sure. That was this morning.

Unfortunately, my gut instinct was right. The baby has not grown since the first ultrasound and in this 10th week, there is still no heartbeat.

I was devastated. Anyone who has lost a child during pregnancy or has had a miscarriage knows there’s a mourning processes involved. Thankfully, I found out early in my pregnancy. I know many women aren’t that lucky.

I’m not sure why I’m telling you this. One of the reasons I kept the secret was in case something like this would happen. Now I’m spilling my guts anyway. Writing has just become such therapy for me. It gives me a way to sift through all the feelings. I’m actually starting to feel a little better by just getting it all out of my head.

I think I’m gonna go and take a nice warm bath. So sorry to be a downer this morning. I hope you are having a great week.

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  • Lori K

    Hugs to you Roni..there is no pain worse than losing a child. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  • http://www.aforementionedthoughts.com Meredith

    Oh Roni, I am so sorry to hear this! You are in my thoughts and prayers as you and your family deal with this difficult time.

  • http://niaakagenea.blogspot.com/ Nia

    Oh Roni! I’m so sorry :( Sending you lots of “cyber hugs”.

  • Rachel

    Oh Roni -

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost a baby in pregnancy about five years ago. It was absolutely one of the saddest things my husband and I have ever been through. It was early in the process as well but no less meaningful to us. We conceived our daughter less than six months later but I have never forgotten the heartache.

    I’ll be thinking of you. Many good prayers and thoughts.

  • http://www.ordinaryhappilyeverafter.com Courtney

    I’m so sorry. My sister is going through the same thing right now. She had been trying for four years and was pregnant with her first. It must be so tough. So sorry.

  • http://operationpinkbikini.blogspot.com Rachel

    Oh Roni, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Be good to yourself.

  • http://healthydiana.wordpress.com Diana

    I’m so sorry Roni. Big big bear hugs to you and your family.

  • http://www.rocksmama.blogspot.com Jen

    Oh Roni- my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss. It is a great loss and absolutely needs to be mourned. Take as long as you need to feel it.

    My prayers are with you girl.

  • http://www.lowfatkatherine.com Kat

    Thanks for opening up to us about this…I’m so sorry you’re having to go through it. Sending you a great big hug.

  • http://www.abbynormally.com Abby

    Roni, I am so sorry to this. My prayers are with you and your family!

  • http://thinliving-katie.blogspot.com/ Katie Johnson

    I’m so sad for you this morning. I’ll keep you in my prayers, Roni.

  • http://www.aprilslittlefamily.com MommyNamedApril

    i’m so sorry, i’ve been through this too and it’s tough. ((hugs))

  • http://katywidrick.com Katy

    Roni…I have no words. I’m crying at work, and both SO sorry for you and your family. We love you.

  • http://www.honormyhealth.com Christie {Honoring Health}

    I am so sorry, Roni. You are your family are in my thoughts.

  • http://www.heathersdish.com Heather (Heather’s Dish)

    no one could ever blame you for being distant about this. you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. i’m just really proud that you were able to write this to help other women out there who’ve gone through the same thing

  • http://balancedfoodie.com Katy

    Roni, I’m so so sorry. I cannot imagine what you’re going through. My prayers are with you and your beautiful family during this time. Take as much time as you need.

  • http://www.smallerfunpants.blogspot.com Anne

    I don’t know what else to say other than that I am so sorry for your loss. I’m glad that you’re taking care of yourself in this moment.

    My prayers are with you and your family.

  • http://brandishealthyjourney.blogspot.com Brandi

    I’m so sorry Roni. I can’t imagine how hard that kind of news is to hear. You are in my thoughts and prayers lady.

  • http://madaroundfood.wordpress.com crazylady

    Sorry to hear your news and big hugs to you! I’m just about 9 weeks myself and we’ve told barely anyone because of that reason, not that we wouldn’t tell people if something went wrong but I guess we just want to get our heads around the whole thing first anyway. I have my first scan tomorrow so fingers crossed all is ok. I’ll be ok if it’s not. I see it as nature taking it’s course no matter what happens. Doesn’t make it easier of course!

    Anyway…. my thoughts are with you and your family.

  • Barbara

    I am so sorry for your loss. One of the reasons you have so many fans/friends is because you are so willing to share your experiences and we feel happy for you when you achieve and can offer our thoughts and prayers in times of trouble. We’ve grown to care about you and your family. Take care of yourself.

  • http://www.dietgirl.org shauna/dg

    Oh Roni… I’m so so sorry to hear this. Sending good thoughts and lots of hugs to you xxox

  • http://www.justrunjustlivejustbe.com LesleyG (justrun)

    I’m so very sorry, Roni. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • http://unlikelysuccessstory.blogspot.com Tonyne

    The husband and I went through something similar a few years ago. It would have been our first. We haven’t tried again. I understand what you are feeling. You need to mourn, you need to hurt and you need to cry. I’ll be thinking of you during this difficult time. My heart hurts for you.

  • http://twitter.com/jhernandezphoto dktrpepr

    Roni I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Heartfelt prayers to you and your family.

    My wife and I personally experienced this situation over a year ago and know it can be rough. Rely on your family and friends for strength and love.

    JH

  • http://savvyeat.com Julie @savvyeats

    So sorry to hear this Roni. Thinking of you and your family!

  • Brenna

    I am so, so sorry for you and your family. It is a truly great loss and must be mourned. (((Roni))) Hugs to you.

  • http://www.imadedinner.net Mara @ What’s For Dinner?

    Oh Roni, I’m so sorry… hugs and healing thoughts coming your way…

  • http://www.runeatrepeat.com Runeatrepeat

    I am so sorry :( Thank you for sharing and letting us reply with support and love. I know it’s a difficult time. God Bless.

  • Linda

    Roni I’m so sorry for the loss your family suffered. My mom had a stillborn when I was 3 or 4, I don’t remember but still feel sad that I would have had a little brother close in age with me. As a consequence my parents had decided that they weren’t going to have any more children. . .then several years later my little sister was born. I don’t know why these things happen, but when you and your family is ready you can try again if it feels right. Take care of yourself, cry, vent, let it out. Feeling the sadness and pain is the only way to get through it. Thanks for sharing this with us and allowing us in to try and console you.

  • Colette

    Roni – So sorry to hear about your loss. I’ve been there (a couple times) and understand the pain/grief/saddness you’re feeling. It will get better, but won’t go away. Much like any other death, you’ll be able to move on, but won’t ever forget. Many hugs and lots of prayers coming your way. Try to remember there was nothing you could have done differently and give the “little guy” an extra big hug! Much love, Colette

  • http://www.jennettefulda.com/ Jennette

    Oh man, I’m so sorry to hear this, Roni. I don’t really have any personal experiences to draw on that would make me understand how you feel right now, but it’s got to suck. I will give you an online *hugs* and wish you the best as you cope with your loss.

  • http://www.waistingtimeblog.com WaistingTime

    I’m so sorry. My heart and thoughts are with you and your family.

  • http://www.niccisniftyeats.com Nicci@NiftyEats

    Hugs and prayers to you and family right now. Keeping you in my prayers.

  • http://www.thecleaneatingmama.com Tasha – The Clean Eating Mama

    Roni, my thoughts are with you today. I am so sorry :hugs:

  • http://www.babygotfat.blogspot.com Misti

    {{hugs}} to you. I’ve been there and now exactly how you feel.

  • Jenn

    Roni, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Prayers said for you and your family.

  • shandy (@webgals)

    Roni, I’m so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • http://www.blueberrymuffins.wordpress.com Sana

    Oh no, I am so sorry to hear this. You looked sooo amazing and confident at Fitbloggin. You really do have an amazing family. Hang in there!

  • http://happinessisajourneyforjanna.blogspot.com Janna

    I am sorry that you are all having to go through this. Hugs and prayers.

  • http://flickr.com/aquaplay Marília

    Dear Roni–

    That happened to me exactly a year ago. And right now…at this moment…I am anxious because I am pregnant again (didn’t share with people this time) and waiting for the first sonogram t o m o r r o w. I can understand you ( and lots of other women who have similar experiences) and still I know I cannot do anything more… I’ve been healthy all my life, never thought this would happen “to me”, but it happens… Some people say it is a protection of nature, a kind of blessing in disguise. I am sure, after you mourn because that is important, that you will be able to get pregnant again, if that’s your desire. Sorry I am talking too much.
    I truly wish you all the best! for you and your family!
    M.

  • http://www.nomorebacon.com Ryan Sullivan

    I’ve never commented on your site before but this touched my heart. I hope you the best going forward. Take care.

  • http://www.homecookedem.wordpress.com homecookedem

    Dear Roni, I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ~Em

  • http://www.thinspiredblog.com Lara (Thinspired)

    Roni, I know there are no words that can make this better, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss, and that I will be thinking of you and hoping you feel loved and supported. Big hugs.

  • http://skinnysushi.com Heather

    My heart is breaking for you today. Our son was stillborn at 20 weeks… no matter what or when or why, it is always devastating to lose a child. Make sure to give yourself the time and freedom you need to grieve. Remember that there is no wrong way to grieve. Take a few days off from all of your work. Just let it go and spend some time with your beautiful family.

    I know you have a great support system, and I know you will be fine, but if you need someone to talk to who has been through something like this, I’m here.

  • http://meganhplace.blogspot.com Megan

    Bless your heart! I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve never had a child, so I can’t relate, but I just said a prayer for you and your family.

  • Elyse

    Roni,

    I am so sorry. Prayers for you and your family.

  • http://fatfightertv.com/blog/ FatFighterTV

    I am so terribly sorry, Roni. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you healing thoughts. Take care.

  • http://eaternotarunner.wordpress.com Lauren @ Eater not a runner

    So sorry to hear that. You are in my thoughts!

  • http://www.fitnhealthybyfifty.blogspot.com/ Sandra

    Oh Roni, I am so sorry to you and your family for your loss. Prayers!

  • http://tntbean.blogspot.com Xenia

    So sorry to hear this, Roni. Big hugs to you and your family.

  • http://www.skinnydreaming.com moonduster (Becky)

    I am so sorry. I’ve been through two early miscarriages; one of them was like yours in that we’d already seen our baby and its heartbeat by ultrasound before the miscarriage happened. I’m so sorry you have had to go through it too. (((hug)))

  • http://m Mari Larkin

    I miscarried too early on. My heart goes out to you. I am very sorry for this loss of new life. Praying for healing and comfort.
    xoxo

  • http://southerngalinsocal.blogspot.com Shelley

    Oh Roni! I’m so sorry! Having never been prego, I don’t know what else to say, but please know I’m sorry for your loss.

  • http://www.idontbelieveindiets.com cara

    I am so sorry. Although it has never happened to me, it happened to my sister twice (and she was the kind that it happened to very late) so I understand (as much as I can) the extreme heart break. Know that you have a great a support system, and if you need to “be a downer” know that no one else sees it that way. {{{bear hug}}}

  • http://juliasjourney-finallygettingfit.blogspot.com/ Julia

    Roni, so sorry you are going thru this, it is tough to deal with, I had this happen with my second pregnancy and got pregnant a couple of months later with a healthy baby boy who is now 12.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you :)

  • Patty

    Roni, I was where you are right now 6 years ago. From experience I know there simply are no words for me to say that will help you right now. My condolences to you and your husband, you’ll be in my prayers.

  • Natalie

    Dear Ronnie, sending you much love and hope for peace for you, as you go through this most difficult of times. Ten years ago we planted a rosebush in our garden in memory of the baby we lost. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Time is the best healer, so be gentle and patient with yourself as you grieve.

  • Renee

    Hi Roni. First, big, big hugs to you. This pain is so difficult and only you will know how to deal with it! Just know you have a support group! Everyone cares. I will warn you that sometimes people say really stupid things trying to be helpful that actually hurt more then you will be prepared for! But, try to remember they are trying to help. I have some pretty good combacks if you need any.
    I have 3 wonderful boys, but have had 9 losses. Actually, waiting to miscarry my 9th right now, which is crazy since I had my tubes tied after our 3rd son was born over 3 years ago! (one of the rare few who get pregnant after a tubal – lucky me!) I am chosing to surpress all emotion in this situation – I buried it a long time ago and dont want to revisit it.
    But, my point in telling you my story is to hopefully have you keep your spirits up, and to share that even though I had too many losses, I have 3 wonderful, healthy boys – so it is possible and to keep the faith. Lots of hugs and prayers while you go thru this difficult time!!!

  • http://dickundduenn.blogspot.com rebecca

    Roni, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss! My thoughts are with you.

  • k

    Roni – I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • http://itallchanges.wordpress.com Cynthia (It All Changes)

    Roni I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine your pain but I will be praying for you as you deal with this loss.

  • http://acakeforawife.blogspot.com andrea @ a cake for a wife.

    Oh Roni, so sorry to hear this. You and your husband will be in my thoughts.

  • Jenn

    Roni, you have my sympathies. I lost a child about 8 weeks along and it’s a heartbreaking experience. Remember that you are not alone and we’re all praying for you. The healing process is different for everyone. Take each day as it comes and know that God has a plan for you.

  • http://greendogwine.com allijag

    Roni, I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I’m not a mother, but I truly can’t imagine what you are going through right. This might sound strange, but in an odd way, this post just further reaffirmed what I already knew. You are truly one of the most strong, brave, courageous, and amazing women I will ever have “know”.

  • http://www.whereisjaye.blogspot.com Jaye

    Roni, I am so sorry for you loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  • Scott

    So sorry to hear about it. Hugs and Prayers go out to you.

  • Jodi

    Roni -

    I’m sorry for the hurt you are feeling. I have 2 sons myself, and so I understand how happy and excited you were before this news came. My sympathies are with you. I do believe that everything happens for a reason – perhaps this child would not have been healthy (for example). Whatever the reason is, I’m sure you and your family will be blessed with the child that is meant for you when the time is right. In the meantime, again, I’m sorry for your pain.

    Jodi

  • http://www.realcareers.blogspot.com chris

    I’m so so sorry.

  • http://www.mamajoss.com mamajoss

    Roni – so so sorry to hear this news and gosh I can’t even imagine what you have been going through. I am thinking of you. I do know that you are a VERY powerful & strong woman and like the other things in your life (I’ve read about here) you will, with lots of love, get through this. You are in amazing health and I can absolutely see you guys having another baby in your beautiful family — you will :)

  • http://www.healthytwists.com Hallie

    I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  • Stephanie

    I can relate. I just went through almost the same thing real recently. three weeks ago, I found out I was going to miscarry because there was no heartbeat but everything else was there. I was heartbroken. my husband and i were sooo excited. it would have been our first together. i have a 7 year old from my previous husband. So my doctor wanted nature to take its course and wait on the D and C. But a week later, the gestational sac was still growing so i had to have a D and C. it was like going through it twice. it has been a week and a half since the D and C and I am still an emotional mess. I thought i was going to be ok with it and it was a part of life and something wasn’t right with the one growing inside me and it is natures way of taking care of us. But nature seems to not have a way with helping us with the emotional trauma of dealing with the loss. I just have to say that it was really good to hear of someone go through something so similar at the same time as me. i know it will get better and we all will move on. and yes, finding out early was so much better, but it doesn’t take away the loss. Find strength in your family and friends. talking about it does help, thanks for sharing!!!

  • http://tworunnersandabrowndog.blogspot.com Paige

    Man…I am really sorry to hear this. I will be thinking about you and your family. My heart hurts for ya’ll.

  • Michelle

    I’m so sorry Roni. I’ll be praying for you and your hubby. Hang in there.

  • Krista S.

    Much love to you and your hubby. I am so sorry for your loss. ♥

  • Sandi

    Oh Roni, I’m so sorry. Big hugs!
    I always am impressed by the love you have for your little guy. It’s so awesome the changes you made in your life because of him. I love watching your videos with him, what a fortunate little boy he is to have such a great mom. I have two boys and I can understand thinking you are done and then deciding you want another. That happened to me too.
    I’m so sorry about the loss of this new baby.

  • http://www.nutmegnotebook.com Tami@nutmegnotebook.com

    I am really sorry to hear about your loss Roni. You and your family are in my prayers. I went through the same thing years ago and it was a sad time in our lives.

  • http://www.Skinny-Ways.com Josie

    Oh Roni I am so sorry, it’s hard but try to keep your spirits up. It will happen when the time is right. Before I got pregnant w/ my son( now 2 months old) I had a miscarriage early in a pregnancy, I had no signs as well until I went for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. It was crushing but I did get pregnant again soon after and now I have a healthy baby boy. you’re family is in my thoughts and prayers! :: hugs::

  • http://www.mom2jtv.blogspot.com Lori

    I’m really sorry, Roni. No words can be said to ease your loss, but know we are thinking of you.

  • http://kyree90.wordpress.com/ Arlene (Adventures in Weight Loss)

    Let me add to the chorus of condolences. I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I’ve had a few months where I thought I was, and the disappointment then was bad enough. I can’t imagine actually knowing I was pregnant and then losing the baby.

  • http://www.freewebs.com/gabimags Jessica

    So sorry, Roni! You are in my thoughts.

  • http://alittlecoffee.com/ A Little Coffee

    I’m so very sorry, Roni.

  • Rachel

    Roni…never left a comment before but have been reading your blog for over a year now…please know how many people are so very sad in their hearts right now for you and your family. Take care of yourself.

  • Laurie

    (((Hugs)))

  • Evilwoman

    My heart goes out to you and your family Roni! I’m so very sorry about the loss as well as what you must be feeling right now. Thank you for sharing your life with us, and please know that I am praying for you and your family. Take care

  • Christine

    {{{{virtual hugs to you and the husband}}}}}

  • http://bossofmel.blogspot.com MelV

    I have also been in that same spot twice now and it isn’t an easy one. You are in my thoughts. Hugs. Take care of yourself.

  • http://amerrylife.com Mary (A Merry Life)

    Oh Roni. I’m so so sorry. I wish I could come give you a hug. I’m thinking of you and the whole family. <3

  • jennifer

    roni i feel for you .after reading your sites for years,i feel like your a friend of mine even though you dont know me .you are an inspiration to people like me who have been dealing with weight issues their whole lives.i wanted to send you an email for a while telling you about me and my weight issues and asking you to give me a kick in the butt to get back with the program so to to speak.and telling you how thankful i am that you are out there, writing about the same struggles that we all go through.but i didnt do it yet.so i feel like i had to email you now and say how sorry i am and how much of an inspiration you are to me and thousands of other people.i admire you so much not only because of what you have accomplished with your weight and lifestyle.but who you are as a human being.i know im speaking for alot of other people too when i say,roni you are the best,and i wish you the best.

  • http://lovinlosing.com Carolyn @ lovinlosing

    Roni, I’m so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. I’ll be praying for you.

  • Courtney

    I am so very sorry for your loss, Roni. Sending virtual hugs your way.

  • Amy

    I just did the same thing– didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant, but when we lost the pregnancy at 14 weeks, told everyone. I don’t think it’s that weird, and I’m glad– having people support me through the loss was awesome. Much better than feeling like I disappointed a lot of people who were expecting something.

    It’s such a common thing, such a heartbreak, such a confusing moment of how much to mourn what was never meant to be.

    It’s also hard to have your body still carry the tissue, the blood, the reminder, of what could have been. I hope your physical body heals easily and quickly as your heart mends too. Much love from a frequent reader…

  • Kelly Munsey

    Oh, Roni – I am thinking of you and your family – you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. From one of your loyal lurkers.

  • Jzbell

    *hugs*

    I’m glad you decided to post, if for no other reason than the outpouring of love and thoughts and prayers and support that I’m sure you really need right now. So, so sorry to hear of your loss.

  • http://shannonnora.blogspot.com Shannon

    I can’t imagine how you must feel Roni. I’m keeping you in my prayers today. Thank you for all of your sharing and inspiration.

  • Lori

    Roni, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • http://oppositelife.blogspot.com Pubsgal

    Oh, Roni, I’m so sad for you and your family. (((hugs))). You all will be in my thoughts & prayers.

  • http://niclearnstolove.blogspot.com nic

    i am so sincerely sorry for your loss!!
    i have no words, since i’ve never been through something like this!
    but i truly believe that everything happens for a reason! and if you’re meant to be a mother for a second time, it will happen!!! my thoughts are definitely with you and your family! <3

  • http://www.kellyim10.blogspot.com Kelly

    I’m so sorry! I’m glad that writing has made you feel a little better, but I know this is hard. My mom had a miscarriage early in a pregnancy when I was about 5 and it was just sort of dismissed by everyone around her because it’s not like it was a full-grown baby (so they said). She mourned for that baby just the same, of course. I’m so happy that you have so many supportive people around you – even if we are just virtual. :)

    Hugs!

  • Kelly M.

    Oh Roni…I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been reading your blog for 2-3 years now, but this is the first time I’m commenting. I can’t even imagine what it must be like, having not been pregnant before. :( You and your family will be in my thoughts.

  • Mindy

    Roni, you have amazing courage posting your thoughts and feelings about this on your blog. Reading the comments, it’s amazing to see how many people are now able to share their experiences and feelings about it because you were brave enough to post on it. I am so glad to hear that you are being good to yourself as you mourn. You really sound like you are doing well processing the whole thing. As with all others, you and your family are in my thoughts.

  • Jessica

    I just want you to know I am thinking about you Roni! {{hugs!}}

  • Kat

    :( Sorry for your loss Roni. I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now, but by looking at all these comments it looks like you have a bigger support force than you may have thought. *Hugs*

  • http://www.birthdaypromise.blogspot.com Margee

    I’m so sorry for your loss. The world works in mysterious ways, and the mystery of loss is still one that I have yet to grasp. I hope you find comfort in your community, family, and friends.

    And thank you for sharing. I read your blog because you are honest about what life looks like. And you are so inspiring and strong, in the face of adversity that life seems to throw at all of us. You have demystify my own feelings of loss, frustration, and exclamation, and create a community around simply being yourself. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here on this forum. I hope you can find comfort in the days and weeks to come.

  • Chantal Henri

    I’m so sorry for your loos Roni. My thoughts are with you and your husband.

  • Ella

    Roni, I am so sorry. My prayers are with you & your family.

  • http://www.lowcarbhaven.com girliefriend

    Roni…I’m so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and comfort in the arms of your family and friends.

  • http://www.icanbearunner.blogspot.com KK @ Running Through Life

    Huge hugs Roni! I am so sorry for your lost! I am thinking about you and your family.

  • http://www.fatfornow.com Jackie

    oh Roni, I almost never comment but always read and just want to say I’m so sorry for you and your family. xo

  • http://merrymishaps.com merrymishaps

    I’m so sorry, Roni.

  • Liz

    Roni, I am so sorry for your loss. I know this must have been difficult for you to write but your honesty makes me appreciate your blog and all that you’ve shared with us even more. I wish I could give you a big hug and some big sunflowers to brighten your day. Take care of yourself and your family during this period.

  • http://laurajane.wordpress.com Laura Jane

    So sorry to hear this. You’ll be in my prayers.

  • http://wakeupandseeme.blogspot.com Karen

    I’m so sorry to hear this Roni. Big, huge hugs for you and your family. Use whatever outlet you need to deal with this grief. We’ll be here to listen if you need us.

  • http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com Dionna

    I understand what you mean about writing become like a thereapy. The same has happened for me. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little one.

  • http://talesofadisorderedeater.org/ Melissa

    Oh Roni, I’m so very sorry. This happened to two of my best friends in Sept. — no fetal heartbeat. They are both pregnant again, and though they’re over the moon, as they noted, nothing can really help take the pain away … just know you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Nicole

    More hugs and prayers than you could imagine are surrounding you now. I have no idea how you are feeling but being a mom myself can only imagine the immeasurable pain. Make sure you know we are all here for you and the boys, this is traumatic for all of you.

  • Brittany

    I’m so sorry, Roni. I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your family must be going through. I’m praying for you and yours, if that’s okay. <3

  • Sam

    Roni,
    I just went through this in November 08 – it was a surprise and at first a total shock, then I started to get attached to the idea. I too went in for an ultrasound and they said I was measuring really small and my dates were probably off – after bloodwork and about 3 more ultrasounds it was determined that I had a blighted ovum and would not be having a baby.. I was devastated, the pregnancy wasn’t even planned but it left my heart broken. We decided to try again right away and then after a month of that decided to put things on hold again … Then in May of last year the husband decided he was ready and we started trying, I got pregnant the very next month and today I have a beautiful 9 week old baby boy :) … So if you are still thinking you may want to “complete” your family there is hope, and now that I have my two precious baby boys I feel 100% complete and couldn’t be happier :) … I just wanted to let you know that your not alone and a positive outcome is still in reach for you if you want it :) These things happen and we never know why (i know i asked why over and over again) but we get through them and we come out stronger! I will be thinking of you, I know what your going through – and while some may say – at least you found out sooner than later, or it will happen when its supposed to – you still feel a void and it still hurts. I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do (try again or not) and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

  • http://www.mizfitonline.com MizFit

    xo xo
    left you vm
    zero pressure to call but waited as long as I could and finally just caved and called.

  • Smitha

    Roni – I am very very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  • Sarah

    I am so sorry for your loss. I just had my seventh miscarriage this past month ( I have two healthy children) and it never gets easier. Go easy on yourself, this can be a tough thing to handle. Ad cherish your little boy, if anything the loss will make you appreciate how fragile life is.

    I’m a big fan of yours, although I mostly just lurk here. You inspire me to take better care of myself. Take good care of you in the coming weeks, time will heal you, emotionally and physically.

  • http://foodexerciseexpress.wordpress.com/ amanda

    Ohhh my…I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t imagine what you are going through…I hope you feel better soon.

  • http://runningfromthelittlepeople.blogspot.com Heather

    I’m so sorry, Roni. Sending you hugs from here.

  • http://newme-freshstart.blogspot.com NewMe

    Lots and lots of hugs.

  • http://last-weight-loss-journey.blogspot.com/ christina

    Oh Roni I am so sorry for your loss – what an emotional rollercoaster you must have and continue to be on. You are in my thoughts.

  • CZ

    Roni,
    So very sorry for your loss… take care and my thoughts are with you and your family.

  • Aimee

    Oh Roni, there are no words that can express how sorry I am for your loss. Just know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Beth

    I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry…I can’t even begin to imagine how you must be feeling!

  • Janice

    Hugs and prayers for you and your family Roni!

  • Kim

    Roni, I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  • http://imsheddingthefatsuit.blogspot.com liz

    i’m so sorry for your loss. take care of yourself.

  • http://website Lina

    Roni, I am so sorry for you loss. Sending lots of HUGS your way. You and your boys are in my thoughts.

  • http://waistingduxie.com Alison

    Hugs Roni. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I’m currently trying to get pregnant and can’t so I feel your pain in a different way. It wasn’t meant to be the little soul waiting for you wasn’t ready yet, hopefully he or she will be soon when you are ready again.

  • Kim

    Roni,
    Thanks for sharing. The same thing happened to me in my 10th week as well. I was heartbroken. We had a 5 1/2 year old daughter at the time and really wanted another baby to complete our family. Surprisingly I got pregnant a couple of months later with my youngest….Morgan….who is now 5. She is a joy and even though I am sad about our loss….I am so blessed to have my little Morgan. She is AWESOME!!! I know it’s really hard right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys during this time, but don’t give up hope. It will happen for you guys and I’m sure you will be blessed.
    Kim

  • Sondra

    I am so sorry for your loss, Roni! I will be thinking of you!

  • Catrina

    I am so sorry for your loss Roni. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.

  • Cheryl

    Roni, I hardly ever post, but want you to know how sorry I am for you and your dh. Prayers for comfort will be said for your family.

  • Rebecca

    So sorry. Don’t comment often but want you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

  • Nancy

    So sorry to hear of the loss Roni. I had the same thing happen at about 10 weeks– 8 years ago, before I had two successful pregnancies. It is really sad — and oddly, I also only talked about the pregnancy after it was over.

    My Ob-Gyn said that 1 out of 3 pregnancies ends up this way, but in the many cases, women aren’t aware they are pregnant when it happens, and think they are having a “late” period.
    You take care of you.

  • http://www.andreasrecipes.com Andrea Meyers

    I’m so sorry to hear this, and my heart goes out to you.

  • http://www.fatbutchanging.blogspot.com Ali @ Fat to Fit

    I won’t tell you statistics, or say “you can have another baby” or any of the other things that well meaning people so often say to someone who has lost a baby. I will, however, tell you that I’m sorry. There’s nothing else I can say. I had stillborn twin boys and posted about it on my blog a few weeks ago. They would be almost 4 years old now.

    The only thing that anyone said that rang true to me when this happened was one doctor, who put it quite bluntly: “This is pretty shitty-ass”. I just looked and him and said “ya, it really is.” So to you, I say…This is pretty shitty-ass.

    Give yourself time to grieve. So often people don’t know how to approach someone after this happens, so instead, pretend it never happened. Just know, there are a lot of people out here thinking about you.

  • Laura

    My heart is with you.

  • http://sunbeamsanddragonflies.blogspot.com Andria

    My mother told me once that she had six miscarriages before she successfully carried me (and then later my brother). I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.

    Knowing that you’re dealing with it now makes me sad. I don’t have any real words other than to say that I hope you get a small measure of comfort from the knowledge that you have people (friends) you’ve never met praying for you and wishing you well all over the world.

    I hope that thought carries you while you grieve. You’ll be in our prayers.

  • Allison

    Roni,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband and the little guy during this difficult time.

  • http://mindyswayawesomeblog.blogspot.com Mindy

    This jsut happened to a good friend of mine as well. I cried and cried for her. I am so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts and prayers.

  • http://www.blogtolose.com/profile/ShayAkpunonu Shay

    Roni… love you and am so sorry that you are going thru this. May Jehovah the God of Comfort bring you comfort at this difficult time. **hugs**

  • Eva

    Roni I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.

  • Tina

    Roni, I am so sorry. Sending hugs your way.

  • Jen

    SO sorry to hear this. Sending Hugs to you and your family..

  • http://www.iyampam.com pammy pam

    roni, i am new to you and you dont know me. my coworker just went through the same thing (at roughly about the same time). my heart goes out to you. with all deepest sincerity. i hope you are able to gather some strength through online supporters. i am SO so sorry for your loss. do take care of yourself.

  • http://www.lunzygras.com lunzy

    OH Roni! I’m so sorry. As you know, I get it. Big HUGE hugs. I also know, things will fall into place. Take time for you and the husband and hug the little guy too much. Give yourself a lot of slack. Thinking about you!

  • Mehgann

    Roni, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Like many others on here, I have also lost a baby in pregnancy, in my case due to trauma after a car accident. Of course you have to mourn…the baby may not have been born, but if you are anything like me, he or she was already a part of your family, especially in your heart and thoughts. My consolation was that the trauma my baby and I experienced in the accident would have prevented him/her from ever having a healthy life, and I know that this was our bodies’ way of keeping my child from suffering. It took time, but I have healed, and I know you will, too, but until that happens, know that many, many people are thinking of you and your family tonight and throughout your healing process.

  • http://strawgirl--mylifeinablog.blogspot.com/ Amanda

    Roni, I am sooooo sooooo sorry!!! I knew something was up when you didn’t post about your weekend in Atlantic City. I hate this for you. I don’t know what you are feeling but you ARE in my prayers. HUGS!!!!

    On another note…I had a dream about you the other night. We met in person for the first time and I was star struck. Wish that could come true…maybe one day! :) But for now, I am thinking of you and praying for you. Ryan is going to be an AWESOME big brother one day !!!

  • http://www.spiritualendeavor.com Jennifer Bingham-Heart

    I am so sorry for you and your husband’s loss. Prayers and good vibes sent your way to heal your mind, body, and spirit.

    Big hugs and love sent your way.
    Jen

  • http://www.karenchatters.com Karen Chatters

    Oh Roni, I’m so so so sorry. My thoughts and heart are with you.

  • Nellie

    Roni, I am so sorry that this has not gone as you had hoped and expected. Sending (((hugs))) your way.

  • http://ddreesart.wordpress.com dedree drees

    Love you Roni. I hope you will feel better very soon.

  • Christine

    Awwwh, I am so sorry. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time, and you will have my support as you grieve.

  • http://galxichic.blogspot.com/ Lauren

    So sorry for your loss. Wish I could give you a hug through the computer!

  • Jenna

    oh Roni…I’m so sorry. Last summer my husband and I went through the same thing….. I am praying for your family.

  • Kristin D

    My heart breaks for you. Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and your family for as long as you need them.

  • Kelly S

    So sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage with my second child in my 13th week in August 2001. I know how hard it is – I was so incredibly sad. You will never forget but I promise it does get easier. We had our son in August of the following year and completed our family – 2 boys. I look at him now (age 7) and know that even though that was a horrible time for both of us – it gave us our little Michael and where would we all be without him. Hugs to you!

  • Rina

    Oh Roni :( I’m so sorry :( I also lost a pregnancy at 7 weeks and it was devastating. The next year however, on the *exact same day*, I gave birth to my precious daughter. But you know, I still cried over the first ones (they were twins) for long after she was born. I guess I’m saying that it’s okay to grieve for as long as it takes, but I hope that by next FitBloggin you’ll have a very round tummy or a very tiny baby. You are so generous and good-hearted, such a good mom, that I just want the very best for you, and I want more people like you to be raising the next generation. I’m grieving with you and wishing I could offer anything better than these words. :(

  • http://kalee_kc@yahoo.com Kalee

    Roni, sending love and prayers your way. I have followed you for over two years now, and although you inspire me constantly I have never told you, I have never left a comment. But as a mother too, my heart is heavy for you today, and I want you to know that you are in my prayers!

  • http://www.tjstestkitchen.blogspot.com tj

    I am so sorry Roni :( HUGS and lots of love to you and your family. Take care of yourself! xoxo

  • http://www.theunnaturalmother.com/ Deanna – The Unnatural Mother

    Oh, so sorry for your loss. Prayers and hugs all around.

  • Elaine

    I am so sorry for your loss :( Whenever it happens, losing a child is unfathomable.

  • http://www.thecreativekitchen.wordpess.com Stephanie

    I will be praying for you and your family sweetie. Lots of hugs and love headed your way from me.

  • http://allveggedout.com Rebeca

    I don’t even know you personally but my heart goes out to you. I’m praying for you and your husband.

  • http://www.superwomanspiritblog.com Shannon

    Roni I am so sorry. Heartache indeed. I will keep you in my prayers and send you many hugs for comfort.
    XO

  • http://www.kerryscookingchronicles.blogspot.com/ Kerry

    Roni, You have given the world so much support in many different ways. I hope you feel that love and support right now. Thinking of you..

  • Jennifer

    I’m so sorry for you. Everyone has left you very helpful comments. I lost a baby during pregnancy and it is a heartbreak. The interesting thing is that if that baby would have come to term I couldn’t have gotten pregnant with my son….I can’t imagine life without him!
    Take good care of yourself, pamper yourself.

  • Rachel

    I’m so sorry Roni. I lost 2 pregnancies last year, and I understand. The worst was when I looked ahead in my Outlook calendar this week and saw 4/27 marked for the big day. My thoughts are with you and I hope you are able to find some peace during such a difficult time.

  • Sue

    I am so sorry Roni. My heart is breaking for you and your husband. I cannot imagine how tough this must be for you.

  • Mariana

    Oh Rony, I am so sorry! I cannot imagine the pain of your loss, even if so early, still already loved. You will be in my prayers.

  • Laura

    Roni – my thoughts and prayers are with you – having gone through this twice prior to having my my one and only almost 9 years ago I can so relate – for me it was 7 wks and 9 wks and it is just as painful regardless of the timeframe. I am sorry for your loss – hang in there – you are strog and you know it.

  • http://www.freewebs.com/marlena78 Marlena

    I’m soooooooooo sad for you & your family, Roni!!!!!!!!!! :’( I will be thinking of you all!!!!

  • http://www.jungleoflife.com Lance

    Roni,
    Sending prayers, thoughts, and comforting hugs your way. I am so, so sorry…

    Peace and love,
    Lance

  • Julie J.

    Roni,
    My deepest condolences on the loss of your child. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Take all the time you need. We are all thinking about you and are here for you. Lots of love.

  • Kylee

    Roni,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending prayers your way.

  • http://myformerlife.wordpress.com MFL

    Roni,

    I am so, so sorry. I went through a very similar course of events eleven years ago. There are no words that will help to make it easier, or better. Just know that you are in my thoughts tonight as you work through the difficult days to come.

    MFL

  • http://www.joggerslife.com Elisabeth

    Sending you hugs!!!! I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. These thing can be truly devastating.

  • Aleisha

    My thoughts are with you. I am so sorry for this sad loss.

  • http://www.soundeats.com Lindsey @ Sound Eats

    Oh Roni, I am so sorry. I can’t even fathom the heartbreak you must be experiencing. Take the time you need to mourn, write whatever you need to write for your therapy, and know we’re all here for you and will love and support you through it all.

  • http://www.escapefromobesity.blogspot.com Lyn

    Oh gosh Roni, I am so very sorry. I wish I didn’t know your pain, but I do. I know your heart is breaking. I am sorry for the loss of your baby.

  • http://starsinthecity.wordpress.com/ Christina

    I’m so sorry to hear that :( Lots of *hugs*!!

  • http://www.emergewithhcg.com Suzyn

    Oh Roni, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss… my thoughts and prayers are with you, and your husband and the little guy.

  • http://thehealthydiary.com/ Priyanka

    I am truly sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

  • Michelle

    I’m so sorry Roni…

  • Tina

    Roni, I’m so sorry that you and your family are going through this right now. Sending prayers your way.

  • Lori H

    I am sorry for your loss. I wish you strength.

  • http://www.blogtolose.com/profile/Jill Jill

    Roni,
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I am a labor and delivery nurse, we have many patients come through with fetal loss. I cannot even begin to grasp the pain you are going through, but my prayers are with you. I hope that you are able to take time off work and have some time to yourself.

  • Danielle

    I’m so sorry about your loss Roni. You are in my thoughts.

  • Amy Ramos

    I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • http://livelaughandgrow.blogspot.com Carly

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Roni. You are incredibly strong for sharing your story with us. Sending lots of love, support and prayer to you and your family.

  • B

    I’m so sorry for you and your family.
    Best Wishes for the future.
    B.

  • http://www.girl-heroes.com/ Jenn (GH)

    I’m terribly sorry about your loss. May a peace that passes understanding surround your family.

  • http://www.nb-in-mg.blogspot.com Nicole of NB-in-MG

    roni….
    so, so, so very sorry to hear your news. thank you for sharing with us all…. and best wishes to you and your family.
    please take good care of yourself during this time.

  • Jean

    I also lost a baby at 12 weeks. It’s heartbreaking. My heart is with you.

  • http://ajlovestolose.com AJ

    Oh Roni– I am so sorry to hear this. I have hugged too many friends through the sadness to know how difficult a time this can be. I am glad you felt like you could share this with us. (((hugs)))) to you from Chicago.

  • http://www.ahealthymindandhealthybody.blogspot.com Chrissie

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t even imagine how you feel right now.
    Thinking of you and your family

  • Karissa

    I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I went through a similar situation with our first pregnancy. We also did not tell anyone until after we lost the baby and it was so therapeutic to talk about it. I hope that you are able to work through the grief and keep your dreams alive of expanding your family.
    Hugs!

  • Joplin

    ;-( *HUGS*

  • belightful

    I’m sorry for your loss. You are fortunate to have such a lovely family who will help you through your healing.

  • http://www.eatingjourney.com Michelle@Eatingjourney

    I remember when one of my co-workers lost her baby at 12 weeks. No one had prepared her for it. Not on any level and she actually walked me through it cause she goes ‘you need to be prepared if this ever happens to you’.

    Thank you for sharing this. Cause I haven’t been prego yet, but hopefully sometime in the future and you know what..I may be in the boat that you’re in right now. It’s so helpful to know that someone gets it.

    Roni and your man…we’re here supporting you.

  • Sandy

    Roni–

    I am so, so sorry! One of the good things about sharing with the world, is that you have the world out there thinking of you. Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to mourn. It will take time, and the pain of the loss will subside, but you will remember this little one forever.

    Sandy

  • Mandi

    Roni, I am so sorry for your loss. I have never been through this, so I can not begin to imagine how you are feeling…and I am sure I don’t have any “magic” words for you…I sure wish I did. But, just know you have the support, concern and prayers of the “family” you have started here on this blog. You are a good person, you have a wonderful family…and you all deserve the best….and that is what I wish for you.

  • Sarah

    I am so sorry for you and your family’s loss…

  • Ibu

    You’re in my thoughts and prayers…

  • Nina

    Roni, I am so sorry! Don’t worry about getting it out in the open, all of us – even if we hadn’t had a baby yet – feel with you. Don’t let it eat you from the inside, scream if you have to or do whatever is good for you and your family. I think it’s so good that you share it, not only for yourself but for many women who think they can’t talk about such a problem – and especially in such cases sharing experience helps so much!

    Let it go the way it goes and don’t try too hard, you have mastered other difficult situations and crisis, and I am 100% sure you will master this one, too.

    Love,
    Nina

  • Stacey

    Roni,
    I’m so sorry. I went through a similar experience, and I know how devestating it is. My thoughts are with you.

    Stacey

  • http://www.journeywithnoend.blogspot.com Lesley

    I am soo sorry for your loss. I have never lost a child, but as a mom of two I know you love them from the minute you see the positive test. My heart goes out to you and your family as I know this loss is hard on all of you.

  • http://whatztheskinny.blogspot.com Sara

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve never been through anything like this but it must be painful and as you say heartbreaking. Be comforted by your husband and the little guy.

  • http://wifeyadventures.blogspot.com Jami

    Roni, I’m so sorry to hear this, I too am going through a M/C and just found out on Friday. I’m not as far along as you but I certainly know the disappointment and heartbreak you are feeling. My prayers are with you Roni.

  • Jan

    Roni, my thoughts are with you and your family. Hugs.

  • Bonnie Richmond

    Awwww….bless your heart, Roni. I’m praying God’s love and comfort for you and your family.

    Bonnie

  • Katie

    Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you from Down Under. x

  • http://www.dessertordiet.blogspot.com terri

    roni~so sorry. sometimes it helps to talk about it….and you will find, that a lot of women have experienced this and sometimes that just ‘helps’…..
    we are on the opposite end. we have been trying for almost 5 years with no luck…..and thats heartbreaking as well……i wish you and your family the best. xoxo

  • http://rhodeygirltests.com RhodeyGirl

    ((hug))

  • Kim Byrd

    Sad to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

  • Kate

    I am so sorry. Thinking of you!

  • auntpippy

    Roni,

    I’m so sorry….you seem to have a great family and I wish you the very best. You are all in my prayers.

  • http://www.homesteadblogger.com/countryhomeschoolin jeanette

    I am so sorry….I wish there is someting to be said to heal your hurt but nothing I can say will stop the sorrow. It’s ok to mourn. It was a precious baby that was not to be. How sad…..

  • http://jessruns.com Jess

    Roni I am so sorry to hear this news. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts!

  • Diana

    I am so sorry you’re going through this.

  • http://www.youngsurvivor.blogspot.com Jenn

    Roni, I am so sorry for you loss. Take some time for yourself!

  • Michelle

    First, hugs to you and your family for your loss. Nothing can decrease your hurt at this time. Second, I am so happy (mom of three) that you decided to add to your family! Ryan will make such a great big brother! Happy to see you changed your mind.

  • http://www.toitagain.blogspot.com McLauren84

    Oh Roni, I don’t even know you but my eyes are filled with tears. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Take as long as you need to grieve.

  • Tiffany

    I am so so sorry Roni. I am thinking of you and your family. I sometimes think God has other plans, and what seems to be unfair, its His way.

    I have been reading your blog for years now and use it as an everyday tool. Thank you for always letting us into your lives and know we care just as much. xoxo!

  • MM

    That is soo sad. *hugs* from over here…..i think you seem like pretty terrific parents too and will it do wonderfully for the next one too!

  • http://www.blogtolose.com/profile/Dani Dani

    Roni, I’m so sorry about your news. Will keep you in my thoughts.

  • http://girl.never-established.net Katali

    *hugs* :/

  • Colleen

    I am so sorry Roni. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Colleen

  • http://stacycel@yahoo.com Stacy

    Roni,
    I have been following you for a long time now. I have never posted., but I feel like my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Sabrina

    Roni, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing a baby, I’ve been blessed with a healthy happy child and a health pregnancy so far. We would be due right around the same time I’m only 12 weeks. I can’t believe how brave you for posting your heart break for the world to see.

    I hope that you and your family have a speedy recovery.
    God bless!

  • Renee

    Forgot to say that my motto during my infertility times was ‘Fertility is a gift, not a guarantee’. For some reason, it kept me level headed about the entire process. Then my motto, and still today is ‘Everything is okay in the end, if it isnt okay, it isnt the end’!

  • Sandra

    I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  • Wendy

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I have no words to say how sad I am for you, so I will just say that you will be in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing this painful part of your life with us. We are all here because of you and I feel like you are a long lost friend. Good luck with whatever you decide to do going forward.

  • Danielle S

    Roni –

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family I can only imagine what you are going through.

    HUGS
    Danielle

  • Agnes

    Roni, I’m so sorry to hear. Thank you fo sharing your story with us. Our love and prayers go out to you.!

  • Anne-Marie

    Roni,
    Thoughts going out to you and Bill. so sorry for your loss!!
    (((hugs)))

  • Tamela

    I am so sorry.

  • http://tri2cook.blogspot.com/ Shannon

    Oh Roni, i am so so sorry. My thoughts are with you and the fam during this difficult time.

  • Renee B.

    Roni-
    It’s hard to wrap your mind around the “it wasn’t meant to be” mentality once a life has already “been”. You absolutely need time to grieve. I’m so sorry you’re going thru all of this. You’re in my prayers.

    Renee B.

  • http://sweettoothlex.blogspot.com/ Lex @ sweettoothlex

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can only imagine the heartache this has caused you and your family.

    Thank you for sharing your story, and remember to surround yourself with a wonderful support system. Talk it out when you need to – express your feelings.

    xoxox

  • Mendy

    You share with us because we are your friends and we care about you. Writing is therapeutic. Time will heal Roni. I’ve been there. Time heals. Lots of love and prayers.

  • Gina Abernathy

    I’m so sorry, Roni. You and your famly are in my thoughts and prayers. May you find peace and comfort during this difficult time.

  • Vicki – Michigan

    So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I too had a miscarriage at 10 weeks after I already had a 3 year old daughter. It was devastating because we had been trying on fertility pills so I thought it would take so long to get pregnant again. Within 5 months I was pregnant again and now have a healthy 4 year old boy. Good luck to you and your husband, you will eventually have your complete family.

  • http://www.senseitalks.com Eunice

    Thank you for sharing your story. For those who have been through this, it helps to know that there are other people out there who know what they are feeling. It’s a really terrible thing to go through. So sorry for your loss.

  • http://www.skinnyhollie.com Hollie

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

    I lost one baby at 8 weeks and another at 21 weeks. I feel your heartbreak… I truly do.

  • Amy

    So sorry, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of (((hugs))). Take care.

  • Della

    Roni, I am so very sorry. You are such an inspiration to others and now it’s time for others to lift you up. I have no doubt that you’re a super parent and a super person all around. I will send up a prayer for you and hope you’ll be feeling better soon. This day, you should eat all the ice cream you want.

    Love Della

  • http://www.nycgirlatheart.com nycgirl0501

    Roni, I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts & prayers. xoxo

  • Sheila

    Roni, I just wanted to tell you thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. You truly have been an inspiration to me and obviously many others. I know what you are going through, and you will get through it. You have come a long way baby, and you’re a strong woman. Just take the time to grieve…Praying for you!

  • http://blogtolose Maureen

    God Bless You and your family during this difficult time, I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Vicki

    I am so sorry Roni.

  • mel moyer

    Roni, I have been reading your blog for years, and have always admired the great mother you seem to be. I have 2 girls and had the same exact thing happen to me… I miscarried in between my 2 daughters. I know that everone grieves differently, but for me, I felt like God had a different plan, and that I would eventually get pregnant again and the child I would have would have never otherwise been here had I not lost the one in between. I only had planned to have 2 children. I did get pregant again, and I did look at my daughter and realize that I was meant to have her. I wish you all the best in going forward with adding to your family. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Kathy

    Roni, Sending love and hugs to you. I know your pain….I have four children, but also had two miscarriages. One that died in my fourth month of pregnancy and the Dr. had to induce labor before it caused infection in me.

    The grief and tears will last as long as you need to have them last. As you have your son, husband and job and everything else you do to keep you busy during the day, I imagine your hard times will be at night. I would do ok during the day while taking care of my other kids….then pretty much the minute I got into bed the tears would flow. Since women bond with their babies the minute they find out they’re pregnant, it is so heart wrenching when a miscarriage happens.
    Hopefully, when you are ready, you will have another pregnancy that will go wonderfully and will bring that wonderful addition to your family. And how much fun it will be for your son to be able to have the role of a big brother. Of course the next baby won’t “take the place” of the baby you just lost. You will carry that child in your heart forever. You are such a strong young woman, you will get thru this……but no words can help….only time can ease the pain.
    Take care, and be kind to yourself.
    Kathy

  • http://www.confessionsofacompulsiveeater.com love2eatinpa

    i’m so sorry for your loss, roni. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Jennifer

    Roni, I have never commented on your blog before, but I have been following your blog and have found so much inspiration from your life. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a tremendous loss feeling. I have two precious little girls and I lost my baby last year just like you at 10 weeks and this year also I had another miscarriage at 11 weeks. It truly is devastating and unexplainable sadness. As for me I have found great comfort in knowing that God is in control and He loves me very much and He knows what is best. May God help you find great comfort in this difficult time in your life. I cherish my girls and am so thankful to have them.

  • Jenn

    Roni,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. I just had my second miscarriage so I know what you are going through. Take time to be with your family and know all of us in cyberland are thinking of you.

  • Laurie

    I just logged back on and beneath all the sadness you are feeling, you must be honored by so many warm caring message from so many people who not only follow your blog but truly feel like we care about your family.

    It is truly a tribute to what you do for so many people.

  • http://shrinkingjeans.net Melissa-The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans

    Oh, Roni, I am so very sad to hear this news. I’m sorry. xoxo

  • Senora Jelks

    Roni,

    I am sorry about you and your family’s loss. You will be in my prayers. God bless you.

    Senora

  • Tina

    hugs and sending sweet gentle thoughts your way.

  • Amy P

    Roni,

    Take a moment out of your sadness to embrace the moments of joy that the little one brought to your life. They say that our children bring us joy no matter how long or short of a time they are with us. Even though your little one was with you for just a short time hold those moments close and allow yourself to remember them. You are young and healthy and another child is completely possible for you and your family.

  • http://midgetkeeper.wordpress.com/ Midgetkeeper

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are going through. Lots of prayers out your way!

  • Ann

    My dear Sweetie ~ I am so sorry to hear this and will keep you and your two special fellas and your entire family in my prayers. I experienced the same heartbreak 29 years ago and still say a prayer each morning for God to kiss and hug my little one for me! It’s hard to understand and I am so glad that you were able to share your sadness and in turn, receive all of the loving and caring support from so many who share your grief and care about you so very much. Brighter days ahead, my friend, I promise. Love you.

  • http://Barbdeld@cox.net Barb

    Roni, I am so sorry. You and your husband are awesome parents. Any child would be lucky to have you. Hang in there and don’t give up. I believe everything happens for a reason.

  • Mary

    Roni, I am so sorry for your’s and Bill’s loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • http://oranges2oranges.net Shannan

    Roni,

    I’m shedding many tears for you. I am so sad this happened to your family. Though I cannot know what you’re feeling, I hope you can heal over time. Feel free to let out all the unhappy feelings. We’re here to support you.

    Hugs

  • http://www.paulawannacracker.blogspot.com paula

    Roni, I’m so sorry for your loss. I read your post and I can feel your heart break and I just want to give you a big hug. I don’t have any special words to console you. I dont’ think any of us have but know we are with you and feel your sadness and disappointment.

    Gosh, I wish I had words to uplift your spirts.

  • Mary

    I am very sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers, Roni

    Long time Chicago reader

  • Dee

    Dearest Roni,
    As you can see from all the posts above mine, you have many friends. We’re all hurting for you. Even from as far away as Tennessee, my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know I’m praying for you and your sweet family. There just aren’t words or this type of hurt. But we’re all sending healing thoughts your way, my friend.

  • Jenny

    Roni – I am so very sorry & will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Tammy

    Roni, please know I’m sending you many strong prayers and heartfelt thoughts of healing — I went through THREE miscarriages before my second child, and each time it was heartbreaking. Don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve or when to feel better – grief has no timeline.

    Godspeed to you and your husband. My heart aches for you.

  • http://www.watchmybuttshrinking.com Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!

    Oh Roni, my heart is breaking for you. I’m sending you love and peaceful thoughts. I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better – but know that you have hundreds of people praying for you and your family.

  • Rene

    I’m so sorry Roni. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage (9 weeks) and my fourth pregnancy ended the same as well (8 weeks). I’m blessed with 2 beautiful children so I can’t complain. I believe if you are meant to have more kids then you will. God Bless.

  • Brigid

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I too had a miscarriage at about 9-10 weeks years back. I mourned for the loss of our baby but was blessed to get pregnant again within a few months. I truly believe all happens for a reason and we have to believe and have faith in our path. You will mourn and you will heal. Be strong and know that we are all thinking about you.

  • http://thenondairyqueen.blogspot.com/ Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen)

    Oh Roni, I am so sorry! I am new to your site, so I feel a like I am intruding on this, but I want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings. I had the same thing happen to me a couple of years after my first son was born. It was exactly the same situation for me too. I went in at 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat and the baby was a little smaller than expected. I went back two weeks after that and the baby had actually gotten smaller. I went in for a DNC after that and they said I was starting to dilate already and that I would have been in the hospital anyway. This was all 3 days before Christmas and my whole family was coming into town. My heart breaks for you. I am truly sorry and I hope you feel better soon. I will be thinking about you and your husband. (They seem to take it worse than the women because they don’t know what to do or say.)

  • Eileen

    I’m so sorry Roni. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I will once again reiterate–they never teach us (women) how often women have miscarriages. It is awful, and all too common. It also means however that you are capable of getting pregnant–so hopefully if you decide to, you can get pregnant again. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. *hugs*

  • Laura

    Oh, Roni, my heart aches for you. While I have never lost a baby, I know what it is like to have something unexpected happen. In that way, we are kindred spirits. I pray for healing for you. And I’d love to reconnect. Take care of yourself…

  • http://www.blogtolose.com/profile/BigTickles BigTickles

    Roni, I am so sorry to hear about this. I will be praying for your physical and emotion well being. Take care..

  • Sally

    Im so sorry =(

  • http://loserforlife.com Marisa (Loser for Life)

    Roni, I am so sorry. I have been in this situation and I know that it is heartbreaking. Sending you many, many hugs.

  • http://weightwatchingfoodie.wordpress.com/ Jamie

    So sorry for your loss.

  • Angela

    I’m sorry for the loss that you are feeling. Wish I could give you a big hug! The same thing happened to us when I got pregnant the first time. I had a positive test and made my first dr. appointment, but woke up bleeding one morning very early in the pregnancy. I was devastated…but so happy we hadn’t told anyone yet. It was almost a year later before I got pregnant again. My little guy will be 16 months old on Monday! You seem like such a terrific lady, Roni, and I’m so happy that you’ve decided you want to expand your family. It will happen! Thanks for sharing with us…hugs to you!

  • Johnna

    Roni, you have a lot of support. While I haven’t been thru it, I imagine there would be a mourning process. Take the time to heal & thanks for sharing your story with us!!

    Hugs,
    Johnna

  • http://learnfitness.com/ Sean (Learn Fitness)

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My wife and I went through the same thing when were trying for our first. It was quite devastating and we had no idea how to handle it let alone how / when we wanted to try again. To have your hopes and dreams come to a devastating end is so very hard to understand or deal with.

    I know it was so very hard to share this with others. Your an inspirational and motivational persons who is strong and will get through this. I hope you decide to continue growing your family, it is so very rewarding and fun.

  • http://destinationathlete.wordpress.com PTG

    I am so sorry, Roni. I hope that the well wishes of all your fellow readers gives you just an ounce of comfort during this difficult time.

  • http://www.andreaswellnessnotes.com Andrea@WellnessNotes

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Roni.

  • http://hundredtenpounds.wordpress.com/ Lisa

    I am so sorry for your loss. There’s nothing anyone can say to make it better but thank you for sharing it with us. Talking, sharing is all good therapy. I hope you and your family are healing.
    :(

  • KIm

    I am really sorry about your family’s lost. I hope you are able to heal from this. Big hug to you :)

  • Lori

    There are no words to express how sorry I am for what you must be going through. Let out whatever you need to and grieve however you must. We are all here for you. I’m thinking of you and your family at this very difficult time.

  • laurie

    so sorry. i have been through the same exact thing 2 times, and the one thing i know is that nothing anyone says makes you feel any better–it just takes time. give yourself the time to grieve. it WILL slowly be less painful to think about as time goes on. like you, i have a beautiful little boy–hugging him just makes everything right in the world!

  • http://chasingthenow.wordpress.com maria

    Oh Roni. How tough! This is something I have never dealt with, but I can only imagine the pain. I hope things start to feel better soon. Will you and your husband continue to try?

  • http://www.juliesrollercoaster.wordpress.com Julie Garfield

    So sorry to hear of your news. Babies are such a blessing. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless you Roni

  • Dard

    Sorry to hear such sad news. You and your husband will be in my prayers.

  • Caroline

    I am so sorry for your loss. A couple years ago two of my friends and I were pregnant at the same time and I ended up loosing my baby. I watched their bellies grow, attended their showers and eventually held their babies, the whole time thinking I should have a baby too. It was an extremely difficult process and thinking back to it brings tears to my eyes. My husband and I were fortunate to get pregnant shortly after and now have a beautiful healthy daughter. My heart goes out to you and your husband. You are such a strong woman and an inspiration to so many of us. Time will help heal your heart.

  • PJ

    Sorry for your loss. It is not something one can truly understand until living it unfortunately. I went through this 5 times before being blessed with my twin sons. Hope you find peace soon.

  • cammi99

    Ah, Roni, I’m so sorry. Thank you (again) for sharing with your blogging community.

  • Brenda

    Ronnie, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. I know first hand what it feels like, 4 out of my 7 pregnancies ended like this. Now I am blessed to have 3 beautiful babies. Please take care, I pray that you have comfort and strength.

  • http://www.kclanderson.com KCLAnderson (Karen)

    Oh Roni, I am so, so sorry. Hugs.

  • Debbie

    My prayers are with you and your family. So sorry for your loss.

  • Becky

    Roni-
    My prayers and thought are with you! I have never been through that before and couldn’t even imagine. I am 13 weeks right now and i have this fear all the time of my ultrasounds. This will be very hard for you and your family but you are a very strong person, so try to keep your head up and be strong for you son you have now!

  • http://www.writingherlife.com Ami

    Thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort during this tough time.

  • Sarah

    OH Roni! My heart goes out to you and your hubby. <<>>

  • sherice

    Hugs and hang in there, I know how this feels and it sucks big time. I am so sorry for your loss. take care and I hope you feel better soon.

  • http://www.thepursuitofhealthyness.com Laura Cunnington

    I’m so sorry Roni :(

  • Sara

    Saddened by your loss – know you are in many people’s thoughts and prayers – hoping that gives you and your family comfort during this time.

  • http://www.thepursepantry.blogspot.com Deb Cadovius

    Roni and Family

    The Cadovius Crew is praying for you during this awful time. I won’t pretend to have the answers you may need but there are tons of us out there who love you and support you and will continue to do so for years to come! I really appreciate you’re willingness to be vulnerable and raw with your “fans.” I read your site every single day and have thoroughly enjoyed “getting to know you.” Take all the time you need, Hun! We’ll be here.

  • Alison

    Big hugs and lots of prayers to you hon.

  • http://www.danispies.com Dani

    Oh Roni… I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your beautiful family are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs.

  • Ana Myre

    Sorry about your lost. My God bless you and bring the comfort for you and your family.

    I just came across with you page and wanted to say sorry also a wonderful weightloss story, Seems like mine, will keep reading!!!

  • Nikki

    Roni-
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My husband and I have been “trying” for over a year now and I know how hard that is to deal with some days. I can’t imagine the pain in my heart of getting pregnant and then losing the baby, though one of my cousins has had this happen MANY times and an aunt had a full-term still born baby. Hang in there!

  • Michele

    Oh Roni, I am so very sorry. I can’t imagine to know what you are going through and how devastating this must be. I’ll keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers. Sending a big, huge hug your way!

  • TriciaB

    I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through, Roni. Take care of yourself and give/get big hugs to your son & husband.

  • Kim

    I am so sorry for your loss! My husband and I had been trying for years, did fertility and finally got pregnant right when we were about to take the next step and see a specialist. We were so excited! 10 weeks later there was no heartbeat. Same as you, I knew something wasn’t right a few days before.

    We waited a bit and then decided to let fate decide whether or not we have a baby. We finally got pregnant again and on our own with no fertility. I debated whether to tell people or not but then thought, what if I don’t tell anyone and something happens again. I will want to talk about it and people will wonder why I am sad. We decided to go ahead and tell people and 9 months later we had a healthy baby girl :)

    I think the best therapy is talking about it.

    Best of luck to you and your family!

  • Katie

    So sorry to hear – your in my prayers.

  • http://annndcene.com Alex

    Roni, I have been a lurker and a fan of your site for a long time now. You even inspired me to start a blog of my own (since you love it so much!) I have never felt like I had much worthwhile to say to you other than “you go girl!”, but I feel a strong need to send you love and hugs right now. I’m so sorry about your loss. I’m sure this is not the end of the baby road for you, but it is such a loss. I can’t imagine. You are wonderful (as is your family) and you bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I think you’re quite remarkable.

  • Sil

    I am soooo sorry to hear about the baby. I too had a miscarriage the exact same way you did. It truly is heartbreaking and at the time if I heard just one more person tell me “it wasn’t meant to be” or “everything happens for a reason” and “you have one child already be happy that you have her” I swear I was going to knock them out haha but I guess everything does happen for a reason. I after almost 2 yrs I am still trying to have a second child. Good luck if you are still trying.

  • Jeanine

    320 comments so far. You are truly loved. I, too, am so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby at 24 weeks of pregnancy many years ago, and my daughter lost a baby at 10 weeks just like you did, the same circumstances. It is heartbreaking, but God helped us through. I am praying for you and your husband and little boy – and your mom, too. It is sad for everyone.

  • http://www.seashorerose.blogspot.com SeaShore

    I am so sorry for your family’s loss, Roni. Take care.

  • http://thingirlwithinme.blogspot.com/ WSM

    I’m so sorry to hear your sad news Roni. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  • jackie

    I am so sorry for this huge loss. I had a similar experience this past summer and found out, at 12 weeks, that my baby stoped growing just after my ultra sound. It was devastating news and has taken a long time to come to terms with it. It also took quite awhile for the extra hormones to leave my body. Don’t feel badly for crying when you think you shouldn’t. I hope that your friends and family are of comfort to you. As you’ve seen here, you’ve touched a lot of people’s lives – even though you don’t know us – and our hearts go out to you.

  • http://www.halfofjess.com Jess

    I just read this and there are no words that I can say to soothe your loss. I wish you and your family the best and I hope that you can stay strong through all of this, for yourself and your little guy.

  • michelle in ca

    Oh Roni, I am so sorry. I’ve been through it too and it is so difficult. Thinking of you …. {{hugs}}

  • Tessa

    Ms.Roni i felt so bad when my mom had told me . But maybe it was a sign to wait a little bit . I think ryan would love it when he is a little older . You are a great person :]
    i love you guys !

  • http://buzybugpixies.blogspot.com Shalise

    I have loved reading your blog since he day that I found it. I have been in such a rut and there are so many reasons: I lost my brother in July I have had my share of miscarriages and stillbirth’s and your post really hit me hard. 2 years ago I lost a baby at 10 weeks, everything was fine and then I went in with the same feelings- he (yes he) had died: He was so healthy but there was nothing I could do. My heart breaks for you and I am so sorry for your loss; Your an amazing girl. I am still trying to figure out if I should attempt another pregnancy – 6 pregnancies with 2 living daughter’s (who were premature because of me getting pregnancy induced hypertension).. Thanks for sharing ALL f your stories..

  • Andrea

    Roni–
    I don’t usually comment, but this post hit very close to home. In January, my husband and I went through almost the exact same thing as you just did. Everything was fine at 6 weeks, but at 10 weeks we learned that our little one hadn’t grown beyond that. It would have been our first baby. I’m still dealing with the grief and the loss. I don’t have any advice that will make everything better, but I wanted you to know that I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts. Take care.

  • Jeri Lyn

    Hi Roni,

    Was on vacation so I just read your post. I’m so sorry for the loss to you & your family. I’ve never met you, but consider you a “friend”. I wish I knew what to say to make things better, but just know that all your on-line frineds are thinking of you & wishing the best for you & your family.

    Big Hugs,
    Jeri Lyn

  • Kris

    Roni, I am so, so sorry! I went through this same exact thing last year at this very time actually! And let me tell you, there is nothing that anyone can say that makes it easier. Healing after something like this comes with time. It took me about 8 months before I finally let it go and stopped becoming emotional everytime someone would talk about it. Everyone is different and everyone deals with these kinds of things in their own way, but unless someone has been through it they will never know the pain. I was 9 weeks along and my ultrasound showed the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. We tried for 7 years to have another child, thankfully we have a 10 year old, but losing that baby after trying for so long was harder then ever to deal with. Thank you for sharing such a private and emotional part of your life with us. Miscarriage is hardly ever talked about, but so very common. So many woman suffer in silence. I wish you strength in your time of healing! Hugs

  • Jennie

    I’m sorry to hear that Ronni… I had a m/c seven years ago and since had two beautiful daughters. But I STILL think about the baby I lost… the wonder and sadness never leaves. Sure it lessens… but you’ll be changed forever. Take whatever time you need before you try again… But don’t be surprised that this is a huge chapter in your life… it will change you. It’s sad, but try to embrace it… and appreciate every breath of life! HUGS!

  • Cynder

    Oh Roni. I’ve “known” you online since shortly after the child was born, and while I don’t commit as much as I should, my heart is breaking for you today. ((Hugs))

  • http://www.skinnytaste.com Gina

    I’m so sorry to hear that Roni. Very sad news.

  • Reese

    Roni..I have been gone for a few weeks just read this post.. I am so sorry for your loss..my prayers are with you..So saddened for you and the husband..Love Reese~

  • Kathy

    Dearest Roni,
    I’m so sorry. Love and hugs your way.
    Kathy

  • Siobhan Sullivan

    So sorry to hear this Roni! Sending you cyber hugs, and know you will move through this with grace and love. Take care.
    ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

  • Leah

    Just read your post today and wanted to tell you how sorry I am to hear this sad news…. I had a miscarriage myself a few years ago and it was so hard to go through. You fall in love with your baby from the very start, so to lose the baby at any time is heartbreaking. I did go on to have two more babies and I’m so glad I tried again but I will never forget the baby I lost. Big hugs to you and your husband.

  • Deb

    I know this is late, but just saw this link while listening to your pod cast. I had a miscarriage between Camden and Tanner… same time.. 6 weeks. Although they called it blighten ovum, I still reacted the same way as post pardom depression. Having camden already really helped me, and I am really sorry to hear about this. Its hard to talk about when there are so many feelings going on! Love to you both!

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