One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

When was the last time you were naked?

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When was the last time you were naked?

Yup. You heard that right. I’m being blunt tonight. Don’t get your panties (pun intended) in a twist. I’m not turning nudist or going crazy. An NO I won’t be recording any Ask Roni videos in the buff so don’t even ask. lol

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’ve been MORE then modest my entire life. I feared the locker room at gym class. I would never wear a bathing suit without a t-shirt. I don’t like low cut shirts or short skirts. I never took a bath without bubbles.

Anyone nodding with me yet?

I’m going to remove "Fat" and "Skinny" from this conversation because I’ve been both and I’ve felt the same way in either “state”. I truly believe this "modest feeling" has little or nothing to do with the number on the scale. I believe it runs deeper than that. Much deeper.

I’ve posted before about self-acceptance and how much I believe it must happen before you will ever fully succeed at any weight loss attempt. And I’m not lying when I said…

I literally looked in the mirror and said…
“Ok, Roni, that’s it. Look at you. This is YOU. And that’s OK. You are making changes to be a healthier, more active person. Your body will change in the process but you need to accept yourself now. It’s the only way.”

The little detail I omitted in that post what that I did that exercise totally naked. I realized I rarely looked at my body in the nude. It’s like I disconnected from it. I hid from it. Constantly worried about how I looked but never really looking. I was ashamed of my own body and I avoided it like the plague.

Avoided my own body! How ludicrous does that sound?!? But it’s totally true.

I’m not saying I’m “cured” of this and am now completely comfortable in my skin but I am making progress.

How?

I spend more time naked.

Blunt enough for ya?

Again, I’m not going crazy and have no plans to visit a nudist beach anytime in the future but I truly believe spending time in your skin can be a baby step towards a healthier body image.

So when was the last time YOU were naked? An NO your morning shower doesn’t count. ;)



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However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 31 comments so far.

    Guess I’m remarkably uninhibited for a big girl … I sleep naked all the time, whether I’m with the Boyfriend or not.

    Brandi

    January 22, 2010

    I am not making this up…

    One day almost 2 years ago I decided to try sleeping naked.

    One day almost 2 years ago I started a journey to lose weight and get more comfortable in my own skin.

    2 years later, I’m still working on the naked love but I have never stopped sleepin in the buff. And I truly believe that has been a huge factor in the process.

    This body is who I am. This body is what I am physically made of. I can’t run from it. I can’t hide from it. I can accept it. And learn to love it.

    And learn to love how good clean sheets feel on your skin…just sayin’ :)

    Nicole

    January 22, 2010

    Roni,
    I agree, but it is easier said than done. It’s hard to not be disgusted by stretch marks (from having babies or otherwise), seeing lumpy thighs and back fat. However, I do find it helpful to look in the mirror (naked) and pick one part that you like (or love) about your body and focus on that first. It eases the transition to accepting the belly area or thigh area that oh so many woman dislike. I think your ideas are great and inspiring for all woman, fat and skinny alike. I do have a question for you. How do you get over the feeling that you “ruined” your day by attempting to eat healthy but ultimately ending the day of healthy eating with a soda and bag of chips? How do you brush that aside and say, “yesterday wasn’t so great, but I’ll get right back on the horn today”…instead of falling into the slump of “well, I messed up, so I give up because now I feel fat!”…and the yo-yo begins. Furthermore, when you stay on track all week and you are so proud and excited to step on that scale, then you step on the scale…low and behold, not an ounce lost in 7 days. How do you deal with disappointment and moving forward from those events?

    RunningLarge

    January 22, 2010

    Have to keep an eye on the body for little surprises like a glimpse of a long lost collar bone or a neck waddle replacing double chins.

    Margee

    January 22, 2010

    I weigh myself every morning naked, and I’ve learned to enjoy this time with my naked self. Since I started weighing myself naked in the beginning, I’ve been able to see how my body changes and how it looks. I get to see the space between my thighs, the slimming of my stomach, and my over-all increased curviness every morning. I love it, and I love being able to see my progress!

    roni

    January 22, 2010

    Nicole – Everything is easier said then done. EVERYTHING!! Believe me I have scars, and lumps, and stretch marks, and moles, and I could go on and on and on. :)

    In all seriousness, your questions are EXACTLY why I continue to do this blog.

    How do you get over the feeling that you “ruined” your day by attempting to eat healthy but ultimately ending the day of healthy eating with a soda and bag of chips? How do you brush that aside and say, “yesterday wasn’t so great, but I’ll get right back on the horn today”…instead of falling into the slump of “well, I messed up, so I give up because now I feel fat!”…and the yo-yo begins.

    This is (you guessed it) easier said then done but… you just DO. You wake up and make the next decision a healthy one because what’s the alternative? What do you gain from throwing in the towel?

    More weight you want to lose? More beating yourself up? More food that doesn’t nourish your body?

    Compare that to what you gain by forgiving yourself and making a healthier choice?

    YOU need to decide why you are doing this. This is your LIFE! Do you want to be healthier? Take “skinny” out of the equation. Make decisions because you are THAT person. That person one who tries to put the best thing they can in their body because it makes you FEEL good. Because you are worth it. Because you need to be taken care of. Your body loves you even though you don’t love it.

    when you stay on track all week and you are so proud and excited to step on that scale, then you step on the scale…low and behold, not an ounce lost in 7 days. How do you deal with disappointment and moving forward from those events?

    You are giving that scale waaaay too much power. You should be patting yourself on the back for that week. How do you FEEL? Why did you let that scale tell you otherwise? You need to cherish that excitement and motivation while you have it because let me tell you from experience it comes and it goes. If that scale is taking it away from you then it’s not worth getting on it.

    I’m sorry. That was a total stream of consciousness. I hope I didn’t insult you. Just remember it’s not easy and those that tell you otherwise are crazy. Our culture works against us. I wrote this.. http://ronisweigh.com/2008/08/all-the-hard-work-is-really-worth-it.html in one of those moments when I was feeling unmotivated and not wanting to wake up and “keep going.”

    In my case my aha moment came via an 8 lb little boy. You will have to have your own moment. hopefully I can help you get one step closer.

    Reply to this in email if you want to chat.

    MizFit

    January 22, 2010

    ahhh timely as (TMI) Im always nekid around here and just yesterday i got my first: UH MAMA CAN YOU GET DRESSED PULEEEEEEZE from the newlyturned 4 year old.

    I knew it was coming.

    Le sigh.

    Jen (aka KUrunner)

    January 22, 2010

    Personally, I love being naked. If I didn’t have a window on my front door that wasn’t covered, I probably would walk around naked until I had to leave the house. Sure, when I look in the mirror, I see scars and cellulite and stretch marks. I see where I need to be more firm and I see why I desperately need a breast lift, but unless I’m standing in front of the mirror, I don’t think about those things.

    All Women Stalker

    January 22, 2010

    I would love to go naked all the time! But the crowded space in our house won’t permit it. Roni, I also do that exercise from time to time. Especially when I need to reconnect with my physical body. It’s wonderful for building self-confidence and a good body image. I don’t shy away from whatever I hate about my body. I face it and accept it.

    McLauren84

    January 22, 2010

    Wow, great post! I’m still working on the feeling comfortable naked thing. I’m ridiculously self conscious. If my boyfriend tries to touch me around my stomach, I yell at him and pull away. Every time. This gives me a lot to think about…

    Jenn

    January 22, 2010

    This is so true… one thing that I found helped me enormously was blowdrying my hair naked. It’s a good 5 minutes that you’re probably standing there looking in the mirror anyways. It was this post that converted me. It was a revelation to me that maybe if I actually spent some time looking at myself, I might eventually be okay with what I see. I’m still not okay with the way I look in pictures taken by people other than me, but I’m pretty okay with looking at myself in the mirror (even if I would like to change the view, but I think those are two separate issues) and I didn’t think that would ever happen.

    Lauren @ Eater not a runner

    January 22, 2010

    I am definitely not a shy naked person! I walk around my house naked all the time haha

    Melissa

    January 22, 2010

    Love the post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
    I have to say, I’m a nudie girl but it only came about in my 2nd marriage–so, I guess in the past 7.5 years? I know this might be backwards but it wasn’t until my (now) husband basically worshipped my body did I begin to look at it as a thing of beauty rather than something that needed to be hidden. Yes, I have a wonky c-section scar from 3 surgeries and a huge gall bladder gash/scar from before they did them laproscopically but I don’t hide from them now. My butt is a bit too big, my tummy a bit too soft and my chest is sorely lacking!
    My body is far from perfect but seeing it through my husband’s eyes has given me new eyes. I finally wore a bikini this year for the first time! I’m 41! I pranced around like I owned it even though I am realistic. It’s amazingly freeing.

    Jeri Lyn

    January 22, 2010

    Hi Roni,

    Wow, your posts always hit home with me. I lost about 75lbs a few years ago & for a while was really enjoying looking @ myself naked, I had avoided it for many years. Over the past year or so i’ve put back on about 20lbs. :( I again have started avoiding the mirror, i’m afraid of what i’ll see. I think i’m going to have to make a dent in this 20lbs before i’ll feel comfortable looking again. I’m afraid if I really look it will throw me into a depression, which unfortunetly for me means, over eating, fast food etc. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can start making healthier choices & get on the road to chipping off this extra weight.

    Thanks for being you & for all you do for us!!

    Jeri Lyn

    heart

    January 22, 2010

    See, I’m not modest at all, I’ve always been more of the “yeah, here I am, get over it already” type (very impatient with everything, alas). Didn’t pay much attention to whether I was naked or clothed at home until the pre-school teacher showed me a picture my daughter had drawn of me, nekkid and with a gi-NORmous bush. The kiddies were all drawing pics of their parents, see, I guess the other Mommies were wearing aprons or suits with breifcases or something, who knows, but what my kid drew of me was a big naked woman with really really a lot of hair in a particular place.

    I wear yoga stuff around the house now.

    Alison

    January 22, 2010

    I agree modesty might have nothing to do with body size, although I did wear tshirts over bathing suits at my heaviest, when I could. But I have slept naked every night fat or skinny, I often walk around the house naked. The good part is I see lots of little changes as I lose that I’d never see otherwise, or it might take longer I guess.

    Cynthia (It All Changes)

    January 22, 2010

    I used to hate myself naked and I was so modest to not do so. But I had a similar moment when i finally bought a full length mirror and just looked at myself. Now I’m proud of my body and spend a lot more time naked. I’m proud of my scar from surgery and my tattoo and even my saggy skin in a few places from all the weight loss.

    Jill

    January 22, 2010

    Last night. In front of the husband. And he loved every inch of my size-12 self (figuratively and literally – winkwink)!!

    It took me long, long, LONG time before I could get to that point comfortably, but I’m so glad I made the effort to do it.

    (I should be ashamed that talk about being nekkid is what finally gets me to delurk, but I”m not!!) :)

    Stephanie

    January 22, 2010

    Great post. Yay for nudity! I find spending time in nature helps me with body acceptance. Each plant and animal is unique looking, and one tree isn’t uglier because it has more gnarly branches. In nature everything is just doing its thing, without focusing on how it looks.
    BODA lose weight

    Christine

    January 22, 2010

    heart

    That cracked me up!! It reminds me of a John Candy movie “Who’s Harry Crumb?”and a scene with fake hair…
    :0)

    Joy

    January 22, 2010

    wow – this post hit home – the thing you said about not taking a bath unless there were bubbles? I always shower in a mad rush. When I take a bath, I work to make sure there are a/b 3 inches of bubbles. There also have to be candles… not for aromatherapy, because I turn off the lights! My husband of 3 years has never seen me naked… I’ve been naked in the light once for more than 5 minutes – it was for a medical procedure. and I was so scared before (a/b the nakedness, not the procedure), that my mother in law gave me a tee shirt to carry with me that had been annointed with oil by a preacher. I kid you not!
    Yeah, body issues much? but….. i’m workin on it!

    Anonymous Fat Girl

    January 22, 2010

    I’ve made it a point to look at myself naked in the mirror every morning before getting into the shower. It’s painful to do and I hate doing it, but I’m seeing progress. Before when I was in fat denial I would act like all mirrors weren’t really there. Now I know I’m trying and I’m slowly learning to accept me for me. Great post BTW.

    Charlie Hills

    January 23, 2010

    I just like how the post about the birthday suit got posted on my birthday.

    Jen Baerman

    January 23, 2010

    I am 34 years old, 5’8″, and yo yo between 145 and 113. In all reality, I have never been “fat” even though sometimes I think I am and at times have been too skinny. That does not change the fact that I have body image issues and often “feel fat”. In past posts you have mentioned things that I also do. When at home I cover my lap with a throw pillow or when out I use my purse or coat. I only buy the tops to swimsuits and wear boardshorts on the bottom. After building our new home four years ago and finally getting a large soaking tub, I find that I cannot relax in it without bubbles. I struggle with this everyday, food and weight are never thoughts far away. I too have started to tell myself that this is who I am and it is not bad. I need to accept myself and stop letting my insecurities hold me back from enjoying life. To shift the focus from what is not and relish in all that is.

    Amanda

    January 23, 2010

    I’m surprisingly comfortable with being naked, especially for someone who has so much weight to lose. (have lost 75 lbs have 65 to go) I sleep naked most of the time, I walk around naked and cook naked in the morning, I like staying naked after a shower for a while and try to take some time every few weeks to really look at myself and compliment what I like and notice how things have changed as I’ve been losing weight. I have never exercised naked, I don’t like under boob sweat =/ but maybe I ought to try sometime, I’d need a mirrored area. .hmm
    Even tho I know and accept that I am unhealthily over weight and have taken steps to change this, I don’t think I’ve ever had body image issues, I never felt THAT fat but you can’t argue with being 285 lbs, that’s fat, now I’m 210, still fat but better and continuing to get better.

    Noelle

    January 23, 2010

    Clothes come off?!

    Tracy

    January 24, 2010

    I love being naked at nighttime before and after my bath… I have a huge mirror in the bathroom and I like to dance! Hoochie dancing is so funny because when you are naked it looks nothing like what you see on tv… My husband sometimes sees my performances and shakes his head… but I swear I laugh everytime! It’s so fun…He tells me to sit down and stop “fanning” around the room :-) LOL!

    Mendy

    January 25, 2010

    I have always been modest, extremely modest so much so that my sisters have no idea what I look like naked since I was about 10. My mom has only seen me naked as an adult when I had my daughter. I’m not comfortable in my skin most of the time. I try to fake that I am around my daughter so she has a good self image but at 9 she already says she has big legs (even though she’s a dancer and has healthy legs). My fear is that she will be just as modest as me if I don’t show myself naked once in a while. Since I’ve gained some weight back I don’t like looking at myself naked, I truly get disgusted at how I let myself go back to the way I was before. I know I can change it though and someday enjoy how I look again. I’m on my way back to that place. If not only for myself but for my little girl that looks to me for everything.

    Dana

    January 27, 2010

    Noelle – that was funny!

    No nakedness for me, thanks.

    Jim Purdy

    January 30, 2010

    One of the comments above said:
    “Have to keep an eye on the body for little surprises like a glimpse of a long lost collar bone or a neck waddle replacing double chins.”

    I’m not sure how to react when I see all the loose saggy skin that is left as I lose weight. I’m glad to see the fat go, but I wish it would take the dang skin with it.

    The 50 Best Health Blogs

    Michelle

    January 31, 2010

    I get naked every day- between getting out of pj’s and getting dressed for the day :0)lol