One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

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The Awakening

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I was going to post just a journal entry tonight and then I stumbled across this essay on the web. I researched who to credit but it appears there a few people claiming authorship. I decided to repost anyway. I think it’s very powerful and a must read. . .

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.



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Discussion

There are 34 comments so far.

    Julie - Big Girl Bombshell

    January 9, 2010

    POWERFUL!

    Missy L.

    January 9, 2010

    This resonates so much with me right at this moment. It is so poignant and I so totally needed this.

    Thank you, Roni!

    Courtney

    January 9, 2010

    WOW.

    amanda

    January 9, 2010

    i printed this out and it is going everywhere with me! i plan on reading it every day as a meditation and reconnection to my commitment to a centered, healthy and balanced lifestyle.

    Jamie

    January 9, 2010

    I feel like such a sap: sitting in my bed crying my eyes out. So, if this happens to anyone else, you are NOT alone! Thanks Roni for some powerful words

    Krista S.

    January 9, 2010

    This is such a powerful message and came at just the right time for me. Thanks for reposting it, Roni.

    Anonymous Fat Girl

    January 9, 2010

    Roni, this is amazing. I hope you don’t mind I’m going to post a link back to your post along with this in my blog post today. It’s truly amazing.

    roni

    January 9, 2010

    Of course! I hope everyone reads it!

    Anna

    January 9, 2010

    thanks for this… really enlightening and so true….

    love2eatinpa

    January 9, 2010

    awesome! so true, yet so hard to do.

    Nichole

    January 9, 2010

    Love this!

    Jen

    January 9, 2010

    That was awesome…the past 2 years or rather I should say 3-4 were pretty awful and this article basically sums it up. I love the part that it says
    ” You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.”…..love, love that quote!!!! Between the last 3 years of my dh ending up having a nervous breakdown, cheating on me with my former best friend and then not a month later my brother was killed in a car accident…it was really hard getting past “why does this happen to me????”Now I know that its just life, and its up to me whether I want to make lemonade out of lemons right????

    Suzyn

    January 9, 2010

    I needed to hear this again, it’s been a long time since I last read it… very appropriate for my life right at this moment.

    Thanks Roni. Gonna go wipe my eyes now :-)

    Becky

    January 9, 2010

    This was a bit of an epiphany for me. Thank you.

    Tanya

    January 9, 2010

    wow combined with a little PMS and I am bawling right now reading this. I am sharing this with a few people I know who are struggling right now as I know this will help them. This was incredible to read because I need to hear it…I am almost there on some things but need this reminder. I will be printing this and sharing it with many…thanks so much Roni…by the way my family LOVED the chicken and couscous meal! I never thought they would but man is it good…just madly making my grocery list using Greenlite Bites! Thanks for all you do…really and truly!

    Rachel

    January 9, 2010

    Love this! Thanks for posting!

    Lou

    January 9, 2010

    Roni, I am glad you posted it as well. It is compact, concise and to the point. Not to mention all so so true.

    Lou

    January 9, 2010

    Roni, great post. It is, as usual, so apropos for all of us everyday. Now if we can only remember that or read it all the time as well. Thank you so much for what you do.

    justrun

    January 9, 2010

    I’m really glad you posted this! It helped me, and I’ve forwarded it to just about everyone I know.

    The Chubby Girl Diaries

    January 9, 2010

    This right here is so powerful. Everyone needs to read it!

    ~Kellie

    AndrewENZ

    January 9, 2010

    Makes you think doesn’t it?

    Farah Nuri

    January 9, 2010

    I don’t even know how to thank you… really.
    I hope you dont mind… I think I’m going to repost this on my blog because it’s just too powerful NOT to share…

    Julie Lost and Found

    January 10, 2010

    Thank you so much. This was amazing. I needed it so bad. I’ve bookmarked and saved it. Thanks again!

    Ophelia

    January 10, 2010

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us!! It was exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my journey.

    Sabrina

    January 10, 2010

    “Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.”

    This is something that I need to keep in mind. I’m always worrying about what people think of me, and I can’t stand it if I think someone doesn’t like me. I have to learn that it is what it is, and thats okay. Everyone on the planet earth doesn’t have to like me.

    Treaya

    January 10, 2010

    So true! Love it.

    Dani

    January 10, 2010

    Wow. Reading this made me feel very grateful to be where I am. Thanks for sharing.

    Sandy

    January 10, 2010

    Love this. Let go of the guilt, quit trying to smooth things over, take care of yourself for a change – after having three almost adult, college kids home for a few weeks I end up feeling like maybe I was too selfish when I took the time to follow my own workout routine even though I was told I was obsessed when it obviously wasn’t doing anything for me. :( Anyway I am grateful that I had the time with them and I it is important that I have my own life because now they have all gone back to their lives without looking back or thinking of the destruction they left behind.

    liz

    January 10, 2010

    right on.

    All Women Stalker

    January 10, 2010

    I love the whole essay. I wish I could get the courage to embrace and accept my own awakening. For some reason, I’m still full of fear.

    Heidi

    January 10, 2010

    wonderful post

    Vanessa

    January 11, 2010

    Hi Roni. Thank you so much. Timing is everything for me right now as I’m facing a mastectomy in February and am trying to focus on “getting it.” And yes, I am, on many counts. I’ll link to your post here so I may share the fantastic essay.

    christy

    January 11, 2010

    I had a moment VERY much like this one last week, when I felt hurt by someone. I realized something I very much needed to realize about the way I interact with other people. It was scary and painful for about 10 minutes.

    Then I got it.

    Peace filled me …

    … and now I can stop giving others the power to hurt me.

    correy

    February 19, 2010

    thank you. i needed that reality check.