One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Feeling the Need for Structure

30 Comments 2509 views

I feel out-of-it. Spacey. Distracted. Overwhelmed.

All these feelings get mixed up and intertwined with. . .

Yup.

You guessed it.

Fat.

I’m catching myself having fat thoughts. Eating more because "I might as well." Thinking I’ll "start fresh tomorrow." Coming up with every excuse in the book not workout. Not to run. Not to do the things that I know make me feel good.

I thought by going to bed early last night it would help but it didn’t. Again I have a choice. I can feel sorry for myself and succumb to these ridiculous thoughts that do me no good or I can stop making excuses, stop feeling sorry for myself and simply snap out of it!

So here’s the deal. I’m going running tomorrow morning before work. I’m NOT waiting till Monday. I don’t know what’s up with me but I miss the way I feel when working out regularly and I plan on getting back to that place. It’s why I set my running goals for the year. How in the world am I going to reach those goals if I don’t work at them.

I’m also going to start counting points again. I feel like I’ve been letting my diet slip. I’m sneaking bites here and and adding extra cheese there. I’m not watching portions and I’m unconsciously eating.

I’m hoping this little bit of structure snaps me out of this funk.

Off to bed. Got to pull out the running clothes and charge up the ipod!



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Discussion

There are 30 comments so far.

    Chris Pugh

    January 14, 2010

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, the ups and downs area all part of the process. For me, I’ve found that counting calories (points in your case) to be crucial for me to keep going. It gives me something to monitor so that I know how much Iv’e had to eat, etc… Good luck!

    Marlena

    January 15, 2010

    I’m right there with ya, Roni! I recently started tracking points again because I felt like I was losing grip on my habits, ie. portions, lil bites here & there, ordering an unhealthy meal “just this once”…blah blah blah.

    I’m trying to push myself on the fitness end too but not sure how to increase it or what to add to it. Not doing enough there may actually be helping me maintain, however, it’s 2 pounds over my goal weight. I can lose 65 lbs in 1.5 years but can’t lose 2 lbs in a couple weeks??

    michelle

    January 15, 2010

    You are so refreshingly real!!!…. hear this…do not listen to that EVIL inner voice!!
    You my darling are awesome, amazing ,fit and fabulous.
    You are awesome,amazing,fit and fabulous.
    Yes, I said it twice because it’s true…now you say it..because it is true!

    liz

    January 15, 2010

    fat thoughts are sneaky and mean. don’t let ’em get you down; don’t listen to them. you can turn the funk around. hang in there!

    Amanda

    January 15, 2010

    Hang in there Roni! It’s great you’re being so proactive about these feelings. I also wanted to say thanks for the mini apple pie recipe idea…I tried it last night using a combination of apples and fresh cranberries (and brown sugar splenda instead of honey). It was delightful (especially with a mini marshmallow toasted on top!)

    Shannon

    January 15, 2010

    Please post your food logs and the points, it really does help some of us stay on track.

    Alison

    January 15, 2010

    It’s winter it’s easy to get the blahs, just fight it! I think setting goals like you did really makes the difference. For me its planning, if I plan my meals and exercise and WRITE IT DOWN I’m much more likely to follow through. I also use the old standby of putting on my workout shoes and clothes and agreeing to only do 10 minutes, I think I have finished all but once with that philosophy.

    Good for you not waiting til monday to get back on track so easy to wait for another day, so good not to. Well done.

    All Women Stalker

    January 15, 2010

    The only way to achieve your goals is to jump in and do it. Sometimes feelings shouldn’t matter. You should set them aside especially when you know they will only lead to negative results.

    MizFit

    January 15, 2010

    lordy I am with you. so much happening and so many post its and day planners and calendars so I dont let any balls drop.

    now if only I could discover the LOVE OF THE RUN as you have….would that help?

    roni

    January 15, 2010

    Thanks Michelle… You are too sweet!

    roni

    January 15, 2010

    Shannon – Will do that was my plan!

    roni

    January 15, 2010

    lol Miz – I only love the “After run feeling” THAT is what motivates me. :)

    love2eatinpa

    January 15, 2010

    everyone gets in those funks, roni. the important thing is that you have the awareness to know it’s going on and then put a plan in place to pull yourself out. i know you’ll do it!

    Good luck Roni! You told me once that this happens to all of us and to make some time for you. You’ll come out the other side stronger. All of us need to go back to structure once in awhile. Hang in there! :)

    PS – and I’m totally with you on the “after running feeling” that’s my main motivator! :)

    jessica

    January 15, 2010

    Roni – thank you SO MUCH for your honest blogging. I was in a funk all last month because I couldn’t run. What I failed to remember was that I COULD still workout – so, I did what you did – stopped making excuses and woke up the next day and shredded myself. it was a small step in the right direction for me. I’m still fighting the winter-time funk, but exercising has really helped keep it manageable. and today I FINALLY got back out for a short run, and man – I feel AWESOME. I wish I could bottle that for whenever I needed it. but then again, i’m glad it’s not bottled – it motivates me to keep moving :) i hope your funk lifts soon – sometimes a new routine and litlte structure does a world of good

    Alisha

    January 15, 2010

    Sounds like a GREAT plan!!! Maybe attend a meeting also…..that always helps me!

    Carrie @ Journey to Bliss

    January 15, 2010

    I feel very similar to this and I’ve noticed a lot of other people in the blogosphere mentioning the same feelings. I really think it’s winter. It’s so hard to be motivated when it’s dark and cold. It’s hard to fight against the instinct to hunker down with a blanket and maybe a kid or hubby. Good luck.

    Jeri Lyn

    January 15, 2010

    You can do it Roni!!! You are such an inspiration to me & I get excited everytime I see I have a new e-mail from you. I’m in the same funk right now. I’ve put on a few pounds, not all, but too many. I’m afraid to check the scale right now. I think i’ll have to lose some weight without checking the scale for a little while. I think if I check now it may really throw me into a depression/binge eating. I put off running myself last night. So tonight i’m running!!! Saturday meeting with my running group, that always helps. You may want to try to find a running group in your area. Every Saturday morning when i think “I don’t want to run” I think “hey” somebody might actually miss me. So I drag myself out of bed and go. Sorry i’m getting long winded!!
    Anyways, you can do this!! We are here to help support you, the way you support all of us. GO RONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jeri Lyn

    Laura

    January 15, 2010

    So glad to see in your tweets that you succeeded this morning. Excellent show of discipline, Roni! Thank you! I tend to get a little scared when I imagine being where you are, all my weight lost, having run a marathon and totally succeeded… to keep it up for the rest of one’s life, that is The Ultimate. I know it must be very hard, and much more of a challenge than where I am right now, busily watching pounds drop by the wayside, saying goodbye to them forever. You’re hanging tough, and I know you will succeed–if only because you have all of us schmos out here watching you. I’m happy to send you some extra energy whenever it seems that you need it! I know you can do it!

    Brittany

    January 15, 2010

    So glad you ran this morning! I have to wake up at 4:55 to get to the gym by 5:20… So I’m totally there with you! GREAT JOB! <3

    LG

    January 15, 2010

    Sometimes I do as you describe…become less conscious about my eating and get un-motivated about workouts. (Like over Christmas!) But I find if I make myself exercise for a half-hour, it helps to re-set my brain to wanting healthier things. It gets the ball rolling again. Funny how motivation often comes in my “doing”.

    Should I do like Cher did to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck: “SNAP OUT OF IT!!” He! He!!!!

    Remember slow and steady…. slow and steady wins the race, once you pound the pavement 1,2,3 times you’ll be back in your groove!! Hang tight!

    Sandra

    January 15, 2010

    A VERY timely post! I too have been in the same rut and have been working this January to snap out of it. I’m realizing how goal oriented I am so I’ve set a goal of doing a triathlon in July (July 10th) and to take off 17 pounds before that so I don’t have to lug it around at the triathlon! I have kept off 40 pounds for four years and can feel myself slipping. Time to get back on the bandwagon. We can do it!!!

    Amber

    January 15, 2010

    Roni,
    I hear you! I lost 68 lbs after a huge weight gain and the birth of my first son in 2000. I had a normal weight gain with my daughter in ’05 and immediatly went on WW. Gained normal weight with my second son in ’08 and lost it quickly again. Now the scale is slowly creeping up…blah. I have that fat feeling thats not a feeling. I’m counting points with you. Not going back there! Thanks for the site…incredibly inspirational. I’ve been reading since early ’06.
    Amber

    Jody - Fit at 52

    January 15, 2010

    Keep the after workout good feeling in your mind. When that urge to “just NOT do it” comes forth, think about how good it feels to run or to eat better or what good things you are doing for your body & ultimately you & your health! Don’t let that wait to Monday become your every day. Make Monday or tomorrow, today.

    Stephanie

    January 15, 2010

    As adults, we know kids need structure. We have to remember that we all have a little kid inside us. When we’re feeling sad, grouchy, afraid, whatever…that kid often responds well to security in the form of structure and routine.
    BODA weight loss

    KK @ Running Through Life

    January 15, 2010

    Roni,
    We all struggle with these thoughts. I am struggling with them right this moment. But what will you and I do? Push on. Hugs to you!

    Laura

    January 15, 2010

    i think we all think, a bite here, an extra cheese there will not kill us, but we all KNOW if we do it every day it will catch up with us. Not that I like what you are going through but it is so refreshing to know that you too struggle with what we struggle with as well, someone so successfull, a maintainer for so many years, it helps us. so i hope that did not come out wrong, but thank you again for your posts~

    jennifer

    January 16, 2010

    It’s amazing how a run makes you think differently about yourself.

    LessPounds

    January 24, 2010

    Everyone needs structure … something that is constant and familiar. Do something enough time, it because a routine and it gets easier.