One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

ASK RONI Q&A

I Needed This Today – Dotty’s Thank You

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You may not have noticed but I’ve been in a funk lately. It’s not a big deal, just an end of year, post holiday, off my schedule, ate too much crap, lost my will to exercise, funk. I haven’t really posted about it as I’ve been trying to pull myself out by being positive. It’s sort of working. :)

So tonight I thought I would try again (the being positive thing) by plucking few Ask Roni questions to answer. The first one brought a tear to my eye and stopped me in my tracks.

Dear Roni,
On your videos, you always talk about how you ramble. I am a rambler too, so please excuse me if I get side tracked. By the way, I don’t see rambling as bad, it just means that we have a lot of thoughts or feelings to express.

Anyway, This isn’t really a question, but a big thank you. It’s kind of funny.. I feel like I really know you, because I am always reading your blog, but you don’t know me. So here’s my story. In May of 2008, I went on a vacation to the beach in North Carolina with some good friends from University that I don’t get to see very often. I looked at all the pictures and couldn’t believe what I saw. I was so unhappy with myself that I had let my weight get to that point (I weighed 200lbs—I am 5’6). I began a journey where I have lost a little over 50lbs and have been maintaining that loss for a few months now. During this journey, I started to not only lose the weight and feel better about myself, but to try new things that I never thought I could do. For example, I, like you, found a passion for running. Who knew I could be an athlete? I started to learn how to cook healthy things for myself Who knew I could cook? I started with weight watchers, but have started to bridge my own path because I want to learn more about nutrition and how to properly fuel my body. I have signed up to participate in an event in Toronto (where I live) called the CN tower stair climb, where I will climb 1,776 stairs and have raised money to benefit WWF (World Wildlife Fund, not the sweaty wrestlers). I have always wanted to do this event, but never believed in myself to do it. I always thought I could never be like the people that did those sorts of things, until I started to do them. I’m sure you know what I mean.

You, through your blogs and thoughts and experiences that you share and videos have slowly made me realize that it is my thoughts that have kept me from being able to do what I wanted, not my body. My body was just expressing the unhappiness and lack of control that existed in my life. (It’s kind of like the wizard of oz where they all realize they’ve always had the power within themselves–cheesy, I know, but true nonetheless). Today, I signed up to complete two half marathons this year, and I just started running like you, and it blows my mind how far I’ve come. This made me realize that I really need to thank you. The question that you posted last week about your "actual goal" really got me thinking. Weight loss was for so long my goal. At least it seemed that way on the outside, but there has really been more to it all along. Through reaching my goal of weight loss I have had to accomplish so many things such as changing my thinking, changing my fitness, changing the way I eat, etc. So, what has been the actual goal of this all along? I think for me, it was to bridge a better relationship with myself and to give myself the chance to be someone that I liked. When I looked at that picture last year from my vacation, I was physically unhappy but also very mentally and emotionally unhappy with who I was. This has been very long-winded and probably very sappy, but I wanted to let you know that there are people out here who don’t always comment, but really benefit from the advice and inspiration that you give out through your blogs. Thank you for being so real and sharing your experiences. All the best to you!
Dotty

Dotty,

Thank you so much for "de-lurking" and sending me this amazing email. Sometimes these funks I get into make me lose sight of my goals. This blog may have started as a way to help me stay accountable but over the course of these almost 5 years (holy smokes!) it’s become so much more then that.

The way you described your realization that there was more then weight loss all along is EXACTLY how I feel. It’s amazing what happens when that switch gets flipped. I wish I could go around flipping it in others (there’s a mental picture for you. lol) I hope by sharing my thoughts and experiences it does that for some.

Thanks again. I really did need this tonight. You have helped me more the you realize and I thank you. :)

-Roni

P.S. Updates on all those amazing events please!!! Did you run the two half marathons?!?

Here’s my menu today. . . Two days home and cooking is helping the funk immensely!

Food Units
~*~*~*~tuesday journal~*~*~*~
western egg muffins
bowl of progresso light soup – santa fe chicken
fresh mango split with the little guy. :)
2 meatballs (like http://bit.ly/8nfnhf) & a small sausage. i’m making sauce today. what kind of cook would i be if i didn’t taste test! ;~p
handful of junior mints… man those things are good.
popping cherry tomatoes while making dinner
some pasta but mostly spaghetti squash with homemade sauce and meatballs
3 more junior mints and then i offered some to the garbage disposal. he seemed please i know i was. :)
oh! forgot.. hit a yoga class before dinner
94% ff popcorn <- it's that or i raid the xmas chocolate stash, i choose that. :)
Total: N/A

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 14 comments so far.

    Michelle

    December 30, 2009

    Gotta love the light switch! Congrats Dotty! And glad the cooking is working for the funk!

    Dotty

    December 30, 2009

    Wow, and what a much needed surprise for me! I am so glad that you received my thank you e-mail and that it was able to help you in some way, because you have helped so many people.

    So, since the time that I wrote you, I used my weight loss to empower myself to finally pursue the career that I have always wanted to do, but again, never believed in myself. I was accepted into a Physician Assistant program in the Summer and started school in the fall! My life has been a whirlwind since. I was able to run one of the half marathons (I didn’t end up running one because of a conflict with school), completing my run and climbing the CN tower was an experience that made me feel like I could do anything. I hope to do both of these activities again this year.

    Since, I started school, I have gained back a bit of the weight I had lost, but I am no where near where I was when I started my journey. Your posting of my email is timely, as I have been rather down myself lately, it reminds me not to give up, my journey is only continuing. Thank you so much for posting it! Take care, Dotty

    Deanna - The Unnatural Mother

    December 30, 2009

    Nothing like finding support in a place you may not have looked, loving all the love !!! Thanks to Roni and Dotty for putting yourself out there for all of us to benefit, kudos and kisses!

    Michelle@Eatingjourney

    December 30, 2009

    This is EXACTLY what I discovered this week. Weight Loss and the need to do it a layer of the core issue: Self-Worth. When we focus totally on weight loss as the ONLY layer to our self-worth we abuse ourselves. What we really have to focus on is stripping back the layers: weight loss, making someone else happy, wanting to look pretty and get to the core: SELF-LOVE.

    I think it’s incredibly important to shift one’s goal to the core issue and look at the layers as ways to get there.

    ie. Core: Self-Love. Layers: Working Out, Losing Weight, Sleeping

    We we get so obsessed with a layer…we forget about the ultimate core goal.

    Roni…what’s your core goal/focus?

    ~M

    Julie - Big Girl Bombshell

    December 30, 2009

    Roni and Dottie,

    Thank you for your inspirations. I have been on this track with my blog about focusing on other things and the weight loss and body image will change with it. And Michele, I agree… getting to the core of self. That is the foundation that so many of us skip. I have been questioning my participation in Weight Watchers lately because one of my core beliefs is it is the attitude not the scale and weekly weigh-ins conflict with that. I have LOTS of weight to lose but I have ToNS to gain.

    Thank you ALL for your inspiration!

    Carolyn

    December 30, 2009

    LOL..I think it’s just a “Funk” time of year because I just wrote a post about being in a funk. Great letter, Dotty!

    Lou

    December 30, 2009

    Dotti,

    What you did and have done is just FABULOUS! Just never quit!

    ” If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high – but so are the rewards.”
    Bear Bryant

    Every time I get down on myself, and I do often enough, I seek out my motivation. Stories like yours and Roni help me everyday.

    Staying the Course
    By BJ Gallagher

    Our journey of life is about progress,
    not perfection.
    It’s not about doing one thing
    100% better –
    it’s a matter of doing 100 things,
    1% better each day.

    Progress is evolutionary
    not revolutionary,
    and most days we measure our progress
    in inches,
    not miles.

    What matters most
    is showing up for your life
    whether you feel like it
    or not.

    Ask yourself,
    “What two or three little things
    can I do today
    that would move me forward?”

    You’ll be amazed
    at how much distance
    you can cover
    by taking it in increments.

    The little things add up;
    the inches turn to miles;
    and we string together our efforts
    like so many pearls.
    Before long,
    look what you have –
    a whole strand!

    Ah… beautiful.

    Shannon H.

    December 30, 2009

    Beautiful! Can’t wait til I get to write my thank you note to you, Roni! I’m waiting until I hit goal and accomplish a few more things (31 pounds down, 19 to go). A HUGE thanks to you for sharing ALL of your thoughts and starting BTL. YOU are changing lives with every post!

    Lynn

    December 30, 2009

    Wonderful thoughts – thanks for sharing the letter with us!
    How very cool that her letter not only helped you out but her as well.

    Happy New Year!
    Lynn

    Anonymous Fat Girl

    December 30, 2009

    What a wonderful letter to receive. Thank you for sharing that. :)

    Laura

    December 30, 2009

    Great story, Dotty. Thanks for sharing it with us, Roni, and thanks for the updates Dotty!

    It’s amazing how much we can all help each other, and it’s amazing how we all tend to collectively forget that a funk is totally normal these last few weeks of the year… we all go through that, and we need to remember it next year.

    It doesn’t define us, and it doesn’t defeat us. We get through it, and we make our December 30th’s Day Resolutions just the same… (thanks too Roni for that concept… I can have a Blank’s Day Resolution any darn day of the year!)

    Kimberli

    December 30, 2009

    Geez you two! I’m not much of a writer as I struggle with finding the words to effectively articulate my inner thoughts and feelings, however after reading Dotty’s Thank You, I feel compelled to chime in – so here goes:
    All my life, I’d been overweight and by and large led a sedentary lifestyle. I pretty much accepted that that’s how I was wired. Hey, that’s “how God made me” and who was I to mess with the Great Creator!? Furthermore, at 30 years old, I figured “this is how people know me, how people expect me to me, how I know me, how I expect myself to be” (perhaps a little self-fulfilling prophecy going on there?): I was the “funny, not skinny girl” (yes, “not skinny” because even at 5’4 247 lbs, size 18W, I’d never thought of myself as: FAT (Gasp! Not me!…If I don’t say it outloud, it can’t be true!)
    In August 2007, something changed. I had moved away to a place where very few people knew me (which for me was key, nobody “knew” me here as I was – no expectations to stay that way). I saw a Dr. Oz special on Oprah, which I believe was the impetus for my lifestyle change (I could go on for hours about this one 20 minute episode, to Dr. Oz, I’m forever grateful). For the first time ever, I admitted to myself that I was overweight, unhealthy, UNHAPPY (that is the most difficult thing to admit to yourself and others), and that I wanted to change. If there’s one trait that I’m blessed to have been born with (or instilled at childhood?), I’ve got a strong-ass determination to succeed no matter what I’m doing.
    Today, I weigh 170 lbs (which truthfully bothers me but I know I’m a work in progress, and I know I’m healthy and confident), and confidently wear a size 8. Am I still a work in progress? YES! Am I still working towards weight loss/fitness goals? YES! Am I still a little neurotic about my “frienemy” the scale? YES! Do I still crave evenings of pizza followed by ice cream while doing nothing more than watching a movie? YES! Do I give into these cravings? YES! Am I still UNHAPPY? To that, I offer a resounding: HELL NO!!
    Three years ago, my idea of fun was vastly different than it is today. Three years ago, I didn’t have goals (impossible to fail if I’m not striving for anything!) Today, my list of goals is plentiful (and I just dare anyone to try to stop me ): MBA in NonProfit Mgt, Personal Fitness Certification, Jacksonville Mud Run (10k obstacle course in the mud “6 miles of dirty fun!”), Orlando Muddy Buddy, perhaps ½ marathon in the fall, sparring at kickboxing, start a community program centered around fitness and community service…the list goes on! I’m not too proud to say that I love who I’ve become! I’m proud of my success and accomplishments, and truthfully at times am shocked at where I’ve been and where I am.
    Sometimes, I still tell myself “I can’t, I’m not this” or “I’m not that” and that self-doubt would have been more than enough to stop me. Do I still say these things? Yes, but I don’t let it stop me. Case in point, last weekend, my 2 trainers invited me to go mountain biking. My immediate thought: “I can’t. I’m not a biker, I hate biking. Tried spinning class twice, 2 times too many in my book! Besides, I’m afraid of snakes and spiders…furthermore it’s Sunday, I’ve got to rest.” But I said to them “Yes! I’ll be there!!” And guess what!? I LOVED it! I believe I’ve found a new fitness passion “Who knew I could be a mountain biker?”
    Why am I rambling on about all this? Roni, you talk about it. Dotty, you touched upon it. To steal Dotty’s words: “I started not only to lose the weight and feel better about myself but to try new things I never thought I could do….Who knew I could…”
    The most profound result of my weight loss success isn’t about weight loss at all. It’s the self-confidence, the zest for life, the can do attitude, the desire to expand my comfort zone, the feeling of self-worth, etc. I feel a little emotional when I see overweight people, and that’s not coming from a shallow standpoint. I don’t care what people look like, but I know how I imagine they feel about themselves, admittedly or not. What I wish I could impart upon everyone is that they can change, “God didn’t make you that way,” “people don’t expect you to stay that way because that’s how they know you” I wish everyone could “see” the intrinsic rewards of weight loss, and Roni through your blog and Dotty through your expression of gratitude, you both are living examples! Roni, you are a true inspiration, an endless motivator, a “friend” to thousands! Thank you for what you do and Dotty thank you for sharing!
    Cheers to a happy, healthy, active, amazing 2010. Keep blazing a trail ladies! May we all continue to expand our comfort zones…
    MIND-BODY-SPIRIT
    Kim ;)

    All Women Stalker

    December 30, 2009

    That’s also what I needed. I’m just slowly getting out of a funk and well… I’m glad I read Dotti’s email. Definitely encourages me to get up and exercise.

    pam

    December 31, 2009

    Roni,
    I just want you to know that you touch us “older folks”, too. I am 59 years old (today! ) and have struggled with my weight since I was put on a diet at age 5 for the first time. I am 5’3” and weigh 190 lbs. I lost 50 lbs in 1973 with the help of WW, but put it back on and then some in the years since then. I have tried LA Weight Loss, Nutisystem, WW many more times, and lots of other diets. Losing weight has been my focus off and on all of my life. Now, after reading your blogs, and the comments and encouragement from so many wonderful people who write on your blog, I am going to focus on healthy eating, cutting through the layers and getting to the core of who I really am, and being the healthiest, productive, most active and happy 59 year old I can be! Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. There are so many of us who can identify with you and your struggles. At least you are young and doing all of this, not 59! But it’s never too late, I say, so here’s to a healthy and happy 2010 for all of us!
    God bless you, Roni, and all of us who struggle with life in all its forms.