Comments on: How do you love the body you have now?

By: Shiloh - will I ever accept the person in the mirror?

Shiloh - will I ever accept the person in the mirror? — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 10:38:44 +0000

hi Roni I stumbled across this website because I am having an especially bad day. I have always struggled with my body image – never ever been happy. No one would know – I have compensated by playing the “happy” person. I don’t think any of my friends would ever guess I am less than heppy – hey I do have an awesome life and a fantastic partner. But my own validation of my myself is always anchored to what I am feeling about my body that day. Some days I am almost crippled – all determined by what I “see” in the mirror. I am at my heaviest now but when I was 3 dress sizes less than I am now I felt the same way. Sometimes when I look in the mirror – for a split second I actually think I look good but then that “voice” always tells me that I actually am not seeing what is there – someone unattractive, monstrous, unworthy and someone kidding herself. When I see photos of myself I feel sick. This is not about vanity. This is about what is happening to us women that our view of our ourselves can be so sabotaged by how we look. How do you break out of this crippling cycle?

By: Dani

Dani — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:57:21 +0000

Roni,

Thank you so much for the post! I have to tell ya, my eyes were welling up as I read what I had written. I love your answer and I love all the comments. I was able to take off 20 lbs over about 6 months this year, and most days I DO feel good about how I look. I think what I did was what Rebecca said. I focused on becoming healthy, not skinny, and in the process I dropped the weight. I still have 5-10 more lbs I’d like to lose before trying to maintain for life, but I’m in a healthy weight range, BMI, and I make every attempt to eat right and work out daily. Again, thanks so much. Happy holidays!

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:58:13 +0000

Hey,

Does the woman who is happy with her body exist??? I have days where I am happy, I have days I dread to look in the mirror. But overall? I’m happy… I guess working in a men crowded place helps… as stupid as it seems. I get compliments on my body, and it opened my eyes. Most people (even men! LOL) do know that all those models and actrices have been photoshopped, that the ideal body doens’t exist.
When I’m down, eating as healthy as I can (without deprivation) and exercising, get me back in my happy place. Knowing you are on your way to a better body, to a healthier lifestyle helps as much as “being there”.
You can do your best… perfection doens’t exist.

By: Deanna - The Unnatural Mother

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:19:59 +0000

Well said!

By: Jenna

Jenna — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:51:23 +0000

Roni,

I read your blog ever day but i have never commentend. I just want to say THANK YOU for this post. ” you will NEVER be happy in your skin until you accept that perfection is out of the question” I cant tell you what amazing that advice that is. I spend so much time with internal pain hating myself for what i look like. I have been struggling with self acceptance for so very long and that just really hit me. Its so very true and i feel this is advice i really need to take to heart.

By: Cynthia (It All Changes)

Cynthia (It All Changes) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:53:02 +0000

I had to learn (and I’m still learning) that my body is my own and I’m never going to look like the models or even people who lost the weight and have toned bodies. My body is mine and I need to learn to appreciate it for what it can do because it won’t look like what I thought it “should.” Learning to love the life I have because of my body really helped.

By: Irina

Irina — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:42:32 +0000

Hi, I really don’t have any advice on the topic as it is a difficult one for me as well. But all I can tell you is this, I read an interview with Amanda Peet over the past few weeks when she was promoting her new movie. Now, I did see the movie, and she looks GREAT. She doesn’t look super skinny, like she is about to fall over, she seems to have a shape. Guess what she said in her interview? Give up? Well, she asked Santa for
“gentle abs, nice boobs and a perky butt.” Hello!!!!! She looks awesome. OK, so this is my sick way of telling you that NOBODY is EVER 100% satisfied with what they have.
So, don’t base your opinions on anyone else, don’t compare yourself to anyone else (’cause you never know what they are wishing for when they come out of the shower in the morning :)
Me? I wished for a rain-free day and nice comfy sweats. Guess what, I am sitting in the office, wearing a stuffy suit while the rain is pounding on the window. Oh well, tomorrow is another day (lets hope it’s a sunny one)

By: All Women Stalker

All Women Stalker — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:50:49 +0000

That was a truly beautiful post. Indeed, once we recognize we can’t ever be perfect, that we’re simply human, we will finally see how beautiful our bodies are. Give yourself some love!

-Denise

By: McLauren84

McLauren84 — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:32:51 +0000

Wow, great post, Roni! I think it’s awesome that Dani was glowing with pride, and I definitely support your recommendation for her to try to get back there.

I think after reading many posts you’ve written on the topic of self-acceptance, it’s finally starting to sink in a little. I’m sure once I’ve lost more weight I’ll STILL find things to complain about, so the only road to happiness is to accept who I am now. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it that way. Now I just need to remind me of this every single day until it starts to feel real.

By: Keith @ My Body Fat

Keith @ My Body Fat — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:45:40 +0000

I think being unhappy with your body to a certain degree is a good thing, because its give you the motivation to keep improving it. I’ve got a friend who is totally happy with his body and he eats what hes want.
But he recently had children and he knows that he needs to lose this weight, for health reasons and for his family. So that he can see his children grow old.
I’ve lost over 40 pounds of fat so far this year, but I’m still not happy. But these feelings are giving me the motativation to keep moving forward.