One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident


Ask Roni: Finding Your Exercise Groove Again.

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Roni I need some advice. Three years ago I weighed 206 today I weigh 160. I have come a long way. My problem is last year I was really healthy. When I lost this weight I really got into exercise. I felt I had to exercise all the time. Now I have gotten in a funk. I use to get up every morning at 4:20 a.m. and do a cardio dvd for 30 minutes, then prepare healthy food for the day and get my 2 boys off and ready for school. By 6:45 a.m. I was hitting the pavement and walking. I did this every day 5 days a week for three years. I eventually started running. I am not very well at this but I try. I have done 3 5k. Running is something I have always wanted to do. I can’t seem to get it though. I end up having to walk then run a while then walk. Well now I don’t want to do anything! Not even walk. And this stuff I use to enjoy. How do I get this back. Last year my weight at Christmas was 144 I was fit and healthy. Today I am16 pounds heavier and feel awful. Please give me some advice as to how to find myself again.
Thanks you so much for your time. I really enjoy your websites.


I feel you. I really do. I no where NEAR have the desire or motivation to do what I was doing last year at this time. I’m not sure what’s up with that.

What do I do?

What I can.

  1. For starters I do NOT beat myself up about it. That will get you no where. There is no right or wrong or good or bad when it comes to what you choose to do for yourself. If you are anything like me you end up punishing yourself for not working out by ordering a pizza or going out to eat. This will get you no where. Let’s disconnect that part of our logic, ok?
  2. Second, accept that you may have changed. It happens to all of us. If running isn’t motivating you anymore try a class at the gym or find a friend that wants to play racquetball or tennis. I find that when I change it up I get a little jolt of motivation purely for the fact I’m doing something new. I just did this with a new class at my gym. I signed up for a 12 week boot camp session on Saturday mornings because I was simply unmotivated to do anything else. I’m hoping the variety and commitment will help me get back into the groove.
  3. Third, pat yourself on the back and own your accomplishments!

    "Running is something I have always wanted to do. I can’t seem to get it though. I end up having to walk then run a while then walk."
    Ummm I hate to break it to you Rhonda, you ran 3 5k’s not many people can say that. You are doing great! Own it!

  4. Fourth, Don’t spend time worrying on how much more you weigh. This will get you no where. I know it’s WAY easier said then done but find something else to focus on like your new workout routine or some new healthy recipes to try. Again, if you are like me you will drown your sorrows about your weight with food. I still fight this urge but let me tell you, as someone who is maintinging this loss for almost 5 years now, the thing that stops me from going back is not beating myself up about the little gains. And yes I have them. It’s when you let them drag you down into funkville that there’s a problem. Keep trucking. Keep moing forward. Life is worth living and it’s not worth worrying about a number on the scale.
  5. Finally, accept that you may just need a break. 5 days a week waking at 4:20 and working out. That’s a pace not many can maintain. You may have just burned yourself out! Do what you can when you can and don’t beat yourself up for taking a break. We all need one now and then.

I hope that helps. Chin up girl. You are awesome and you are maintining an amazing weight loss! As my Weight Watchers leader once said… Mainting is harder then losing. No one is patting you on the back and saying "Look at you! Good job maintaining that weight loss there!" :)


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There are 11 comments so far.


    December 15, 2009

    Aww. My heart goes out to this person. Totally get it. Seems like I’m saying this to people a lot right now, but I would just say DONT GIVE UP. The only failure would be quitting. It’s not a failure to realize something’s not working anymore and changing things up.

    Great advice, Roni.


    December 15, 2009

    If it’s helpful as a motivator, it’s actually more of a caloric and fat burn to do intervals like running, walking for a period of time, running again, so on.

    Not only that, but people don’t just “decide” they’re going to be runners and are instantly running marathons. It takes practice! You’ll get back in to it.

    The desire is there so the motivation is soon to follow.


    December 15, 2009

    I completely understand where Rhonda is coming from. I’ve had to deal with not having the motivation I’ve had previously as well. Thanks for posting this and giving some great advice, Roni!


    December 15, 2009

    I can totally sympathize with Rhonda–it’s hard to not make direct comparisons between your past and current selves. When I think about the gorgeous body I didn’t even know I had when I was 19, I can’t help but feel a little envious of Past Lauren. But that’s toxic thinking, not to mention completely unproductive. I love your advice, Roni. Sometimes people get so stuck in the past, they forget about the present. I totally agree that if your old routine isn’t working for you anymore, you absolutely MUST change it up. It sounds like Rhonda’s early morning workouts aren’t doing the trick anymore, so maybe she could try squeezing in an exercise DVD after dinner.


    December 15, 2009

    Great advice! I easily get bored with cardio. Even in a single workout I might do two or three different cardio machines.


    December 15, 2009

    I get in funks too and just got out of one by signing up for a February race. Having a goal definitely helps me stay on track and get excited about exercising regularly! Good Luck!


    December 15, 2009

    I think funks are totally normal, esp this time of year. I try to use my gym-time as a destressor, but there are some days I just don’t feel up to it.

    And I can TOTALLY relate re: the weight thing … 144 was my happy weight; about 157 is where I’m at now. I’m an 8, not a 6 anymore. But that’s ok … because I’m happier now.

    I also have no desire to work out like I used to — I’d rather LIVE than live at the gym. That said, I am trying to be kinder/gentler to myself. If I am not feeling a workout, I take a rest day (otherwise, I don’t take rest days, period, and they’re integral to the recovery process). If I am done after 40 min and don’t make the full hour, so be it. I know I’ll make up for it on a higher-energy day tomorrow. It’s so hard to be kinder to ourselves but I know it is how I’m recovering from my old over-exercising ways–by forcing myself to accept that my old routine was too rigid, too ridiculous to maintain forever.


    December 15, 2009

    Maybe Rhonda is running too fast, which is why she ends up needing to walk every so often. Try running a little slower for a longer period of time. And realize that run/walk is how most people get started. Eventually you run longer and farther with each interval.

    Also, make sure you take a rest day every once in a while. At least 2 days a week, probably more when you first get started. Your body needs time to recover, heal.

    KK @ Running Through Life

    December 15, 2009

    Great tips Roni!!! Thanks for the reminders. And Rhonda, there is NO SHAME in running intervals (run X minutes, walk X seconds or minutes)!!!! Many runners, yes, they are still runners, do such interval training and runs! There is a lot of research supporting the benefits of interval running on your body.


    December 15, 2009

    Roni, I just recently found your site and love it. I especially like your advice that you give to people, like this one to Rhonda. These are the kind of motivational thoughts that all of us should work on repeating to ourselves, and coming from someone like you who has been there and is a REAL person, really helps a lot. I turned 30 this year, and was so depressed, I couldn’t get out of bed all weekend. I just felt like my youthful 20’s were wasted being fat and unhappy. I thought I was fat at 16 when I weighed 129… now that I am 30 and weigh 247, I realize how big a part my self loathing has played in my weight gain. As I embark on yet another attempt to lose it, I am happy that I have your site to help me along. Thanks, girl.


    December 15, 2009

    Great advice!