One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

INSIGHTS

Making Friends with Your Body

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I feel sorry for naturally skinny girls. They never have an excuse for a dateless Friday night. They can’t blame their lack of friends on their clothing size. They don’t even get to use their weight as the cause of their tiredness or depression. How horrible it must be to go through life without a reason or an excuse for all the unpleasant things.

Their lives are already perfect. Right? I mean they are skinny. Thinness is by far the key to a happy life. How can you possibly be happy if you aren’t a size 2?

Right?

Right?!?

Of course not! How ridiculous does that sound? Yet how many times have you uttered the phrase, "When I lose the weight I’ll {{insert what you aren’t doing now}}"

For me that was a daily thought. I really believed the world would just fall into place once the weight was gone. If I looked perfect then life would be perfect. It made perfect sense!

Well as a former fat girl and a current skinny minny, let me tell ya, it just ain’t true. I’ve been everything from a 16 to a 4. My closet had more sizes then your local goodwill. I used my weight as an excuse and food as a pacifier. What a cycle!

It’s not a fun place to be and it’s not an easy cycle to break. If you really want to lose weight you first need to accept a few things.

  1. You will never look like a supermodel. Supermodels don’t look like supermodels. Between airbrushing, lighting, professional hair and makeup… come on! Let’s put the photoshopped photographs in perspective please.
  2. Your life will NOT drastically change if you succeed at weight loss. You will still have the same job. The same home. The same friends. Nothing will just automatically happen because you lost a few pounds.
  3. Your body is your body and that’s OOOOKAAAAAAY! Loving yourself is hard for some of us at any size and let me tell you from experience, if you have issues, being a size 4 will not cure them. It took me a long time to figure that out.

So in short what I’m trying to say is… make friends with your body. It’s the only one you got. Treating it and yourself with respect is one of the most important things you can do. Someone once told me “don’t put yourself down….there are plenty of other people in this world that will do it for you.”



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Discussion

There are 22 comments so far.

    BigTickles

    September 30, 2009

    Thanks Roni! I needed that ;-)

    justrun

    September 30, 2009

    That last quote? So, SO very true. Thanks for reminding me.

    Michelle in CA

    September 30, 2009

    Very true and well said. I too have been everything from a 4 to a 16 and while I might spend less time in the morning getting dressed, nothing “magically” changed.

    Instead of fretting over the last 10 pounds, I am just trying to be kind to myself and appreciate my size now – for just two years ago, I would had given anything to be where I am today (size wise). I really need to remind myself of this daily. It’s going to be a lifelong struggle/battle but as long as I am aware of this, I think I can stay on top of things …

    Jaaniiss

    October 1, 2009

    Nice stuff friend :D u know I’m naturally skinny but it doesn’t mean girls like me feel always good with our bodies :/ haha think it’s natural for all the girls and women feel unconfortable about our bodies at least once…[ a week LOL], but anyway, the thing is..nowdays is very easy for any woman to feel bad about herself..that’s principally because of all those photoshopped photos that we can see in all the fashion and ”beauty” magazines and on tv … is very sad you know cuz a lot of girls have become bulimics and anorexics for that preasure they feel with theirselves to be like those magazine girls, and that’s true everyone i’m not lying experts psychologists will tell you..

    So i’m glad you’re doing these kind of things to make people remember that how you said: supermodels don’t even look like supermodels :D so c’mon girls! Everyone of us is naturally beautiful…I’m lucky i have not done anything against my healthy to be ”more bautiful” even sometimes i don’t feel totally happy with my body.. But hey! you can do exercise, eat healthy, remember all those people who really you, have fun ..just live your life! :D

    I don’t know if you have seen the Dove comercials [yes Dove, shampoo, and all those beauty products] they have a very good campaign to support the Natural beauty It would be great if you check them out..on youtube you can find all those videos..

    Well my friend haha i liked very much your stuff sorry if my english is not good..haha i’m from venezuela..[and we’re following each other on twitter lol] So kisses from venezuela and tweetya!

    Kat

    October 1, 2009

    Thanks Roni, I’ve been following you as a lurker for awhile now but this post really caught me at the right moment with a horrible habit I have myself. I am guilty of saying that all the time…”When I lose the weight I’ll {{insert what you aren’t doing now}}” I’ve been trying to stop myself from saying it because I use it as an excuse not to do something, when really I’m just being lazy and taking the easy way out of something. It’s a really hard habit to break, but I’m happy to say it gets easier not letting weight define you though. This weekend I’ll be participating in the Susan G Komen 5k, and while my weight may keep me from running it, I most certainly can walk it!

    Leanne

    October 1, 2009

    Lately whenever I’m having one of those days where I feel completely defeated and deflated I’ve been coming to your site – and it always lifts me up and reminds me to embrace what I have done, rather than focus on what I still have left to accomplish. I’m SLOWLY learning to love me, because when I really think about it, I’m pretty cool :) Thanks Roni.

    We, including myself, use our weight and appearance as a crutch. It is extremely sad yet very true. Thank you so much for this post!

    christina

    October 1, 2009

    Good post! and boy did I need those words. I am in a MAJOR funk and have been taking it out on my body which isnt fair to me.

    Melissa

    October 1, 2009

    Great post, Roni. I actually just had a dressing room moment … they didn’t have any 8s (my current size) and the 10s fit loose and lean. I actually told myself, screw the tag, these FIT MY BODY.

    Courtney F

    October 1, 2009

    I couldn’t have said it better. Once I realized that I am important and deserve to be happy DESPITE my weight, a peace has entered my life. Plus when you look around at a the life you have and think I have so many blessings, a few little pounds don’t amount to a hill of beans!

    Brandi

    October 1, 2009

    Sometimes gosh darn it your posts bring tears to my eyes…this was one of them :)

    Thank you

    WEIGHTWATCHER MAMA

    October 1, 2009

    GREAT POST! LOVE IT! THANK YOU!!!!

    Kylee

    October 1, 2009

    I still say this to myself. It’s a habit I need to stop. Thanks for the post I needed it.

    Cynthia (It All Changes)

    October 1, 2009

    I recently figured this out. I kept thinking that if only I could lose these last 10 pounds to goal I would be perfect. Yeah right! I’ll still have loose skin, same job, same spouse, same friends. I’ve learned that I’m happy with me as me. I don’t need to be that perfect weight because I’m okay with me now. I’m thinking about raising my goal weight instead of killing myself like I have been for almost a year. It’s not worth it and I’ve lost 100 pounds and feel good.

    Runeatrepeat

    October 1, 2009

    It is sad to think that losing weight won’t solve all my problems or make me unbelievably happy. It’s true, but still sad.

    Great post. Good luck in the marathon!!!

    Aurora Vidales

    October 1, 2009

    Thanks so much, Roni! ur awesome! i needed that today. or should i say every morning. lol!! im on my last 20lbs or so to lose and i always see myself coming back to ur site for motivation. Gotta Luv Ya!!

    Rachel

    October 1, 2009

    You are right. I have learned over time to not judge the naturally thin or assume they have things better. Well, I try my best. Also, they too struggle with their body image.

    Kat

    October 1, 2009

    Thank you for this post Roni. Exactly what I needed to hear today. Now I am off to do 6 miles on my elliptical. I hope your work party went well today!

    Jen (aka KUrunner)

    October 1, 2009

    Hear Hear on the photoshopping! Anyone can look amazing after 3 hours in the makeup chair with the perfect lighting and hours on the computer editing out all the imperfections.

    I found this a few days ago:

    http://www.skinnyvscurvy.com/hot-models/marisa-miller-victorias-secret-fall-fashion-photos.html#more-14875

    It’s candid photos of Marissa Miller (from Victoria’s Secret) compared to her finished shots in the catalog. I mean, if they have to photoshop someone as amazing looking as her, what hope is there for the rest of us?

    FANTASTIC post!!!! I love it, and thanks for putting yourself out there -once again!!

    s

    October 1, 2009

    thanks for this post. i just lost ~40 lbs and am starting to tackle the things i thought would magically go away when i lost weight …

    Katie (A Running Start)

    October 1, 2009

    This is a fantastic post! I can’t help but think of all of the times that I have inevitably thought that a. skinny people have no problems and b. once I’m skinny I’ll be just like them. It’s scary to realize how easy it is to associate our body size with perfection. If it’s perfect then everything else will be to. Now that I’m realizing my body’s pretty perfect already I’m not waiting for the rest to fall into place.