*sigh* sorry, didn’t mean to scream. I just needed to get that out. My back has been killing me. I’m hormonal. My tiny apartment with the crap kitchen just isn’t cutting it. We’ve eaten out 4 times this week. I have no place to relax. No place to be alone. I’m afraid to run in fear of doing more damage to my back. The only thing that’s giving me any sort of pleasure is my job. Funny, right? I’m productive there and it’s an escape from this hell hole we’ve nick-named "the hometel" as in it’s not quite a "home" and it’s not quite a "hotel". :)
Ahhhh I feel better. Sometimes you just need to vent. I mean seriously I don’t have much to complain about. I’m building a beautiful house in the perfect location. I just started an awesome new job. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful son (albeit annoying sometimes.) I’m just having an off couple of days and two things are really bothering me.
I haven’t worked out in any way, shape or form since my run in chicago. I haven’t done weights in almost a month. I haven’t done yoga in 3 weeks and my running is REALLY slipping with this back pain. Ever since sunday it’s been pretty bad and I’m fearful of doing more damage if I do run. This really sucks considering the marathon is 2 months away! I don’t care if it takes me 10 hours I will cross that gosh darn finish line!
As for my back, I have called a Spinal Center. They are going to order me an MRI but my appointment isn’t until 9/11 that’s almost exactly 1 month before the marathon. I just hope I heal up a bit before then. *trying not to think about it* *trying not to think about it*
I have NO desire to cook. None. Not at ALL. I have good intentions every night and then I get home, look at the 1 foot of counter space, electric stove, lack of equipment and say "oh eff it." I know. Bad, right? I think it’s the combination of getting used to the full time job while out of my element in the apartment. It’s like both compound the problem. The husband doesn’t help either because he’s loves to go out.
Thankfully I packed the scale or I think I’d be on it all the time obsessing, which is not a good thing. I just know that the eating out is going to catch up with me and even though I’m trying not to think about it, it’s there. Take this conversation I had with the husband today…
Me: "Hi honey! I’m home" <– ok so I did’t say that but it helps me start this write up. :)
The Husband: "You wanna go out?"
Me: "No, I defrosted chicken. I wanted to cook since we went out yesterday."
The Husband: "Come on, please?"
Me: "I’d rather not. I was going to do a video for GreenLiteBites and everything."
The Husband: "OK, well… "
I look at the hell hole kitchen with absolutely no motivation.
Me: *sigh* "ok, but we need to get into a groove. I swear I’ve gained like 5 pounds."
Husband raises his eyebrows like he agrees. <–I must add… NOT in a disapproving way at all. He’s not that type of guy but I hop on it.
Me: "oh man… I HAVE! I knew it. You even noticed haven’t you?!?"
The Husband: "You look great! Seriously. So what if you put on a few pounds?"
He’s totally right. WHO CARES! I’m still making good choices! I feel great (well besides my FREAKIN’ BACK!) and I’m eating the best I can given my situation. I’m totally over it. <– typing that I’m over it so it helps me get over it! THIS is why I like blogging. :)
I do have to admit… I’m glad I don’t have a scale. :) It would only compound the problem. I am trusting my instincts here and I think I owe that to myself.
- I have a TON of Thursday Thoughts built up but I just don’t have it in my tonight. I’ll shoot for next week.
- I’ve only posted one simple idea on GreenLiteBites BUT I’ll be Crock-potting it tomorrow. If it comes out ok I’ll be sure to post about it! (I told you…. I’m trying!)
- I’ve been moving my butt on FitBloggin! Making some serious progress and I hope to open registration soon as well as have info for sponsors.
- The house is coming along! Now more then ever… I can’t wait!!