One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK

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*sigh* sorry, didn’t mean to scream. I just needed to get that out. My back has been killing me. I’m hormonal. My tiny apartment with the crap kitchen just isn’t cutting it. We’ve eaten out 4 times this week. I have no place to relax. No place to be alone. I’m afraid to run in fear of doing more damage to my back. The only thing that’s giving me any sort of pleasure is my job. Funny, right? I’m productive there and it’s an escape from this hell hole we’ve nick-named "the hometel" as in it’s not quite a "home" and it’s not quite a "hotel". :)

Ahhhh I feel better. Sometimes you just need to vent. I mean seriously I don’t have much to complain about. I’m building a beautiful house in the perfect location. I just started an awesome new job. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful son (albeit annoying sometimes.) I’m just having an off couple of days and two things are really bothering me.

1.

I haven’t worked out in any way, shape or form since my run in chicago. I haven’t done weights in almost a month. I haven’t done yoga in 3 weeks and my running is REALLY slipping with this back pain. Ever since sunday it’s been pretty bad and I’m fearful of doing more damage if I do run. This really sucks considering the marathon is 2 months away! I don’t care if it takes me 10 hours I will cross that gosh darn finish line!

As for my back, I have called a Spinal Center. They are going to order me an MRI but my appointment isn’t until 9/11 that’s almost exactly 1 month before the marathon. I just hope I heal up a bit before then. *trying not to think about it* *trying not to think about it*

Moving on.

2.

I have NO desire to cook. None. Not at ALL. I have good intentions every night and then I get home, look at the 1 foot of counter space, electric stove, lack of equipment and say "oh eff it." I know. Bad, right? I think it’s the combination of getting used to the full time job while out of my element in the apartment. It’s like both compound the problem. The husband doesn’t help either because he’s loves to go out.

Thankfully I packed the scale or I think I’d be on it all the time obsessing, which is not a good thing. I just know that the eating out is going to catch up with me and even though I’m trying not to think about it, it’s there. Take this conversation I had with the husband today…

Me: "Hi honey! I’m home" <– ok so I did’t say that but it helps me start this write up. :)

The Husband: "You wanna go out?"

Me: "No, I defrosted chicken. I wanted to cook since we went out yesterday."

The Husband: "Come on, please?"

Me: "I’d rather not. I was going to do a video for GreenLiteBites and everything."

The Husband: "OK, well… "

I look at the hell hole kitchen with absolutely no motivation.

Me: *sigh* "ok, but we need to get into a groove. I swear I’ve gained like 5 pounds."

Husband raises his eyebrows like he agrees. <–I must add… NOT in a disapproving way at all. He’s not that type of guy but I hop on it.

Me: "oh man… I HAVE! I knew it. You even noticed haven’t you?!?"

The Husband: "You look great! Seriously. So what if you put on a few pounds?"

He’s totally right. WHO CARES! I’m still making good choices! I feel great (well besides my FREAKIN’ BACK!) and I’m eating the best I can given my situation. I’m totally over it. <– typing that I’m over it so it helps me get over it! THIS is why I like blogging. :)

I do have to admit… I’m glad I don’t have a scale. :) It would only compound the problem. I am trusting my instincts here and I think I owe that to myself.

Other news…

  • I have a TON of Thursday Thoughts built up but I just don’t have it in my tonight. I’ll shoot for next week.
  • I’ve only posted one simple idea on GreenLiteBites BUT I’ll be Crock-potting it tomorrow. If it comes out ok I’ll be sure to post about it! (I told you…. I’m trying!)
  • I’ve been moving my butt on FitBloggin! Making some serious progress and I hope to open registration soon as well as have info for sponsors.
  • The house is coming along! Now more then ever… I can’t wait!!

New House



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Discussion

There are 72 comments so far.

    Shauna

    July 30, 2009

    I am so glad that you posted this “rant” of yours. Sometimes when I read your blog and I am so utterly and disgustingly jealous of you because you seem so perfect and upbeat and positive that I strive to be like you… i really and truly do. So when I read what you wrote tonight, it honestly makes me feel so much better that you really are “just like us” and have the bad off times as well.

    Your attitude is so contagious, and your honesty is completely refreshing. Your blogs make my days. :)

    Your son is the same age as mine, so I totally get everthing you say! and p.s. your house is gorgeous and I will pray the time in your hellhole goes quickly and this will all be a distant memory.

    John Frantz

    July 30, 2009

    Your house is looking sweet. Yeah, that’s why a lot of people who have lost weight or people who are eat regularly start getting into a fast food binge. Because their kitchens are so small you can’t really do much with it.

    Gorillamonk

    July 30, 2009

    Sounds like running into a huge wall. Don’t let all of it weight you down, with all the great work you’ve done, you’ll get through. The house is coming. The back is goin to be better, and you’ll be cooking with love *gusto* again. Just, keep pushing!

    Jim

    July 30, 2009

    We did the apartment hell when we sold our city house and were looking for one in the county. It was HELL. Dawn remembers it more so because I was working long hours in Frederick and mostly slept there.

    Hang in – it’ll be over before you know it.

    Tammy

    July 31, 2009

    Hi Roni! I want you to repeat this to yourself four times. “It’s only temporary.” Because it is! I, too, went through the same thing. Rented a crappy house while house was being built and it was very difficult to get into a groove. I figured “why make the effort?” because I knew I wouldn’t be there very long and I had so very much else going on that I couldn’t put any time or attention to it. So like you, I tried to make the right choices while eating out — which, for me, is very hard, because it seems like everything is fried or has cheese!! Either way — your house is beautiful and is coming along quickly — which means you are QUICKLY on your way to being back in control. Think of how much fun you will have in your new kitchen, cooking and creating like before. I look forward to it as much as you do, because you inspire me to be a better cook (a.k.a. healthier cook). But we are all right there with you on the TEMPORARY hometel experience, and we are cheering you on, because we know you can hang!! Try to laugh about it, and remember – it’s only TEMPORARY!!!

    Dana

    July 31, 2009

    Roni – You’re almost there with moving out, moving in, running the race….it won’t be long now.

    “It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.” —Annie Gottlier

    Rebeca

    July 31, 2009

    Cut yourself some slack you have A LOT going on… so what you’re not cooking… you’re making good choices, you’re finding balance despite obstacles- be proud of that!

    I think it’s great that you’re looking at the things you are thankful for… it could be a lot worse- work could suck, you could have an even smaller kitchen (mine is)… and that husband of yours… you are so lucky there are very few men out there like that (believe me I’m still looking)

    Maybe you can just go for a walk, get out alone, give your back a break, and clear your head!

    Take care! xoxo

    Hang in there! Even though I know you know there is a HUGE shining light at the end of this tunnel (of a tiny kitchen!) – vent away! I don’t love hearing that it’s been a crappy week for you with not being able to cook or exercise but I will LOVE hearing your future posts about how you turned it around and are feeling great :-) Hugs!

    ha

    July 31, 2009

    Seriously…you’re bitching when you’re building a new fantastic home when millions are moving out of their foreclosed homes and have no job to work. Grow the fuck up and knock it off. This blog post is shitastic. Hope your back is broken…you’re whining deserves it.

    Gab*

    July 31, 2009

    I feel for you! We’re currently living with my parents while building a house. My mum buys a lot more junk than I do and I don’t have as much control over our meals as it has to be something that all four of us will eat. We generally eat pretty healthy, but not as healthy as I like. Generally I try to tell myself that it’s only temporary and it’ll all be worth it in the end but sometimes Hubby and I just need to have a good old whinge about it!

    Tiger G

    July 31, 2009

    That’s SO funny, but sorry. Since I had the baby I keep running around complaining about how “fat” I am, and how I am going to start working out once my body is completely healed. My husband asked me (innocently) the other day (as I was in the bathroom trying to decide which of the nearly identical black shirts made me look less fat), “I thought you said you were going to start working out?”
    Here’s a SUPER quick yummy chicken recipe to help get you back in your kitchen – Cut up chicken breasts (like tenders size)
    Sprinkle them with some lime juice, then quickly dip them in some seasoned flour, then roll them in shredded coconut and cook them in a little olive oil til they’re done. Soooo good and not too much mess!

    Emma B

    July 31, 2009

    Hey Roni,

    Good luck, remember a few months in the hometel won’t undo years of good behaviour :)

    Try get to the yoga, it’s sure to help your back? Or swimming. I’ve just been getting back into exercise and it really does help with stress and even if it isn’t marathon-specific training it will keep you limber and fit.

    Hang in there!!

    Nina

    July 31, 2009

    Hi Roni!

    I know how you feel, and it’s ok because you cannot be in all places at once. Nobody can. BREAAAATHE! It’s an exciting time and looking back I am sure you will see it as kind of romantic. ;)

    1. On your back pain: I recently had a kind of lumbago (I don’t really know if it was one, but it HURT!) but I still keep walking because I find that walking relaxes my back. The Feldenkrais teacher of my mother always says that you have to keep on exercising the parts that don’t hurt and let the hurting part rest. I find that it helps a lot and I heal much faster, and it distracts me from my pain. Do some back relaxing exercises, you are so sportive that I am sure you know some or know where to get some instructions. Feldenkrais is also something that helps.

    2. Let it all out! You know what happens to feelings that are kept inside? They become ice cream and pizza. And back pain if you listen to Louise Hay. ;)

    Lots of love!
    Nina

    MizFit

    July 31, 2009

    ahhhhhh.
    thank you.
    as a woman who always listens to MY RANTAGE Im so honored to “hear” yours.

    roni

    July 31, 2009

    Ha – Thanks for the laugh and letting me know my blog has “made it.” When ass holes like you show up the fun is sure to start. If you actually read the whole post you would have noticed I mentioned I have nothing to be complaining about. I recognize that. Regardless this is my shitastic blog and my journey through this life that I have created. At least I have the guts to share it and connect with people who are in similar place as me. Unlike you’re chicken shit anonymous self. It’s oh so easy to criticize from your high horse when you don’t show your face. I’m sure you never complained about a flat tire or running out of milk in fear that you’d be whining.

    Thanks for reminding me there are jerks in the world sometimes I forget as I try surround myself with supportive people who fight for what they want in this life.

    Have a good one.

    -Roni

    roni

    July 31, 2009

    Oh!! and everyone else… THANK YOU! You’re words put smile on myself for a whole other reason. I totally appreciate the support!

    Liz

    July 31, 2009

    Hi Roni….let me start by saying …that I hope you except my apology for being one of those kind of jerks a few months back..I was so wrong in asking a question the way I did and when some of the comments suggested that I was jealous, well they kind of hit a nerve and they where right in a way….that being said I still follow your blog daily because it really is very informative ,inspirational and very real. You put it all out there ….your daily struggles, good times, and whining :) . Your allowed to whine every once in awhile and heck if I where you right now I would be too. Some things are out of your control right now and in combo with hormones …it just reaks havoc on your mind and body. Congrats on your future new home and your many accomplishments this year..I hope you back is better soon. Find a quiet place and just take a deep breath and relax…it will get better soon.
    Thank you so much for allowing me to post here regardless of my past actions.
    have a good day
    liz

    Andrea

    July 31, 2009

    just remember this is temporary…oh and try the ellipticle – no impact its great

    Nina

    July 31, 2009

    Good you let that out and followed my advice immediately ;). You deserve building your home and creating something new in your life, and although it’s a pity that there are people out there who don’t have this opportunity people like Ha should not unload their emotional garbage on you.

    Ha: Besides – bitterness does not help! It just makes matters worse, robs you of the energy you need to get better and creates a negative atmosphere around you. Use that energy to help the people you mentioned and you are much better off.

    Red Head, Yellow Dog

    July 31, 2009

    We all get in slumps like this..you are not alone my friend!! Don’t fight it..just try to find different ways of getting to your intended goal. Don’t want to cook? Make a salad! (okay trying to think of something no cook a toddler would like is HARD! tacos? rice and beans -that has minimal work!) Don’t want to workout/can’t run? why not try going for a walk and listening to a favorite podcast?

    but more importantly..I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. Never fear! You’re in a stressful time and it’s okay to feel frazzled. Just remember to laugh often

    BigTickles

    July 31, 2009

    Here we go with the anonymous posting again … sigh… can someone get a life?!!?

    Anyhoo, Roni, we love you and feel your pain..literally. It is only temporary, it is only temporary. That you so much for your rant. It shows that you are the “real deal” and have real problems like everyone else.

    BTW, I simply LOVE your home. If I can ask, who is the builder? I like the way the outside is designed. (I understand if it is none of my business – hee hee.)

    See ya over at greenlite. I am awaiting your “lite” version of the Chicago pizza pie ;-)

    Tania

    lunzy

    July 31, 2009

    Wow, Ha is pretty bitter. I love your response btw ;)

    I just posted about being done with excuses- I haven’t done anything in forever- no meals, cooking, working out, etc. And getting my groove back! HA! But tomorrow is a new day, new month and time to get this situated. We all seem to “slip” when things go crazy in our lives. go easy on yourself. It is what it is, and it’s not forever.

    jessica

    July 31, 2009

    it’s your honesty that keeps me coming back Roni. you really are a great motivator and inspriation. so thank you for your honesty. you don’t know how much it helps to see that there are others out there going through the same thing and not giving up!

    also – the house looks AWESOME. And, I hope your back starts to feel better soon.

    Carolyn

    July 31, 2009

    Hope your back feels better soon. Perhaps you can find a pool to do some swimming so you can get cardio in without hurting your back.

    Maybe this weekend you can make a couple of things for the week ahead so you don’t have to eat out as much next week.

    Good luck! The house looks fantastic. :)

    Jennifer G

    July 31, 2009

    Hey Roni…thanks for the home update..everything is looking great. you are just in that in between stage…you will be doing video post from new home soon! I can’t wait for some new great video posts…have a great weekend! We all hope you are feeling better soon.

    WannaBeSkinny

    July 31, 2009

    I so feel your pain. I have been through that and it’s tough. Just take it easy on yourself mentally. Right now hubby decided to replace my microwave for me but it’s 2 weeks later and the old one (HUGE.. you know the kind that is ment to HANG above the stove) and my kitchen is in constant turmoil. My main counter space has a huge microwave on it. I have a small cutting board under it so the door opens all the way and I NEED that cutting board.

    Ugh. Hang in there, it’ll be over before you know it!

    Lynnea

    July 31, 2009

    I love everyone’s advice to you – “It’s only temporary.” It is such great advice. “This too shall pass.” House looks great – so many great things on the horizon. Things don’t always turn out how we expect them too – so if your back gets in the way of your marathon this year, it’s just a bump in the road and you’ll get back on track. It’s who you are – strong, determined, and not to mention WONDER WOMAN! Love catching up with you on the phone, in person and now reading about you on your blog. Anything you ever need, friend, I am here for you. (Except while on vacation next week at the beach! haha! Totally kidding – you can call me anytime – God knows I call you at the wee hours for tech & emotional support! haha!) Love you. Big hug sista! Give the boy a big hug for me and I look forward to seeing you soon. ~Lynnea~

    Karen in Tally

    July 31, 2009

    Oh, Roni! It is strange how my life sometimes runs in the same cycles that yours does. I have a torn meniscus and a baker’s cyst in my knee, so I have had NO RUNNING AT ALL for three months now. My house is on the market, which you know all too well how that goes, and my diet has suffered tremendously with work and life’s usuals.

    You are inspiring and the positive person I strive to be. I am with Shauna on this. Please keep being the way you are. We’ll all heal up together and our best running days are still to come!

    Noel

    July 31, 2009

    Hi Roni, I don’t know what the situation with your back is, but I if you can (you know your body best), don’t wait for the MRI. Start seeing a physical therapist who can help you regain some strength/flexibility/mobility in your back. Also, if you can, make yoga a priority. I am a pretty serious runner, also training for a marathon in October (though not Baltimore). I had some major issues with my back a couple of years ago, which required an MRI — but it all ended up being connected to tight hips and muscle imbalances in my legs because of all of my running. Remember that EVERYTHING in the body is connected, so your back may not be the actual issue. In my case, my hips and legs were the issue. I had a significant deficiency in my range of motion in my hips that made my leg muscles work too hard — which made them pull on the back muscles they are attached to — which caused BIG problems in my back. I’m only able to do yoga one day a week, but the difference it has made in my hips, and consequently my back, has been amazing. It’s only one part of the solution for me, but it is an important one. Don’t do the stuff that hurts your back, but the benefits of stretching and relaxing the other muscles in your body will have a positive influence on your back, AND we all know yoga is good for bringing a calm/zen feeling. It sounds like there’s a lot of chaos and you could benefit from the quality quiet time. Don’t be afraid of hurting your back, just let the instructor know you are limited there and only do what you can.

    I know you are strapped with the moving and the home building and everything, but one thing that you could do for yourself that would both help your back and help you get that “me time” that it sounds like you need is to go and get a GOOD massage. A good masseuse, someone who knows a lot about the body and muscles and the interplay between muscles, and most importantly can recognize when tissues is functioning normally and when it is not, can be a God-send. I know it can be hard to find the time and/or money to fit one more thing/expense into the day. But I think some regular massage would be really good for your back.

    Finally, get back to your basics. So what if you can’t run or get to the gym to lift. Grab your son and husband and go for a walk around the neighborhood, or around your future neighborhood. Just because you’ve improved your fitness to an amazing level where you can run for miles and miles doesn’t mean there isn’t benefit to a basic walk around the block. It may not get your heart pumping in the same way, but you still get the sense of accomplishment, that you did something positive for yourself. Also, if you leave the family at home, it is another way to get your ‘me time’. Focus on doing what you can, when you can — that’s all you can ask of yourself. So if all you can do is go for a 15 minute walk — do it. You will feel better because you gave yourself some focused attention.

    Hope these suggestions are helpful. Hang in there. You know this is just a short term situation, and things WILL get LOTS better soon.

    Fatinah

    July 31, 2009

    if you’re kitchen is too small right now to cook – get out your crockpot. That kills a couple of birds – dinner is done right away before you can make other plans, and all the mess is in one pot. Lots of healthy choices for the crockpot.

    Hope your back gets better soon.

    allijag

    July 31, 2009

    glad you let it out! please please please listen to your body (i know you will!) – i’m worried about you running with your back!

    that house will be finished before you know it ;) (easy for me to say, right?) :P

    HANG IN THERE HOT MOMMA!

    Carianne

    July 31, 2009

    What wrote Ha was harsh. I’ve really enjoyed your blog for some time, but lately noticed many changes in your writing and focus. It seems to be all about you. You appear to have taken on more than you can chew. Why in the world if you must not work outside the home (and have your own business, businesses) would you take on a full time job? You are lucky you’ve got a job has afforded you to take a weeks vacation and several days off for a conference. Which provided several days away from the grind of family life and its stress (some women NEVER get time off) You have a pretty patient husband and a little boy that needs not only a physically healthy Mom, but healthy in other ways as well. My suggestion is simplify your life. Getting up at the crack of dawn and sleeping in your run clothes is ridiclious. You can be healthy without that pressure. The husband may miss the former Roni? I’m sure you will find me a jerk, but I am trying to point out I for one see changes in you that aren’t so positive. Back to basics.

    roni

    July 31, 2009

    I don’t think you are a jerk. You articulated an opinion without being insensitive.

    This blog will continuously change as it is my way of expressing things about and for me. Sounds selfish but it is MY blog. I try to motivate myself and others by trying to live life the best way I know how while sharing it here in this medium.

    I took the job because I like to be challenged. I enjoy working. I’m not going to apologize for that. As for the days off… I worked for those days off with out pay just so I can earn them. Things are never free, are they.

    Sorry you think my strategies are ridiculous. They help me reach goals that find time to do the things that are important to me.

    I learned a long time ago ya can’t make everyone happy. So I’m sorry you think the changes in me aren’t positive. I’ve never been happier in my own skin in my life. (minus the hometel) :)

    Thanks for expressing your opinion withOUT being a jerk.

    Carianne

    July 31, 2009

    Thank you for the kind; sensitive response. My reason for expressing what I did, how I did is I’ve sensed much frustration in you, a person overwhelmed. From my own experience I’ve found simplifying life and putting my kids and husband first makes me a more happy, more productive and content person (just me, doesn’t work for all). Your right you cannot make everyone happy, nor should you try or it be a goal. I just really like and admire you and hate to see you jumping on the American merry-go-round. Im just suggesting you remove some of the pressure you’ve created on yourself, this has nothing to do with challenging oneself or motivation. Have a great weekend with your family!

    roni

    July 31, 2009

    Thanks Carianne! I AM learning that. I can still live my crazy busy life that I love but I’m learning to let go of certain things. Writing posts like this helps me do that. :)

    And a wonderful weekend I have planned. Me and little guy are long overdue on a trip to Grandmas. :)

    She-Fit

    July 31, 2009

    I love the picture of the house!
    As for eating out… we have been doing the same thing. We are packing up our apartment and moving so I think my husband and I have used eating out as an excuse. Not looking forward to the move though. Our kitchen has zero counter space for cooking :(

    jennifer ozuna

    July 31, 2009

    hang in there girl! It will all come together for you soon!

    Amy C

    July 31, 2009

    Hey Roni. I have to admit I get annoyed when people attack you for opening up and being honest. This is your blog: part therapy, part experiment, part work in progress, but always honest and always forthright. If you were just sunshine and light 100% of the time instead of 90% of the time, I wouldn’t want to read you! I like that you’re honest enough to admit that you’re normal like us, that you have days when you’re overwhelmed, that you have times when you feel like you’ll never get back on track. I hope you never hesitate to put up these kinds of posts because they resonate with your readers, and we will always defend you! My only other comment echoes some others: just go for a walk. Don’t let the good enough be the enemy of the perfect! and use your Crockpot. “A Year of Crockpotting” has some amazing recipes. Stay strong and hang in there. The only constant in life is change.

    Amy

    July 31, 2009

    Have you looked into going to a physical therapist? There are several “chain” places here in Chicago like Athletico that will give a free consultation – and they’re usually pretty thourough. They’ll also help you find a referral. I’d recommend doing that in the interim while you wait for the appointment at the Spine clinic. They can assess whether you have a serious problem. And, if not, help you figure out some exercises and stretches to help the issue. What I like about them is that the “get” that you’re a runner and that the marathon is important to you. They’ll usually help you keep doing that while fixing the problem. Where a doctor might not help you keep running. They’re first reaction might very well be to just recommend that you stop running altogether.

    Good luck!

    Joanie @ The Bright Side

    July 31, 2009

    Hey Roni,
    I can so relate to the the hometel thing. Several years ago we built our home and had to do the 3 months in a townhome thing. It was HORRIBLE! I have a son with autism and he was SO upset with the upheaval. It was a living nightmare. I found visiting the new house daily and focusing on the planning and decorating helped me a lot. Plus, we practically lived at the complex’s pool that summer. I can barely remember what that nasty old place even looked like now. Before you know it you will be enjoying that beautiful new home in the picture. I just love the brick, btw.

    I know when I am stressed, the first place I feel it is in my back. I hope you can cut yourself some slack and ease back a bit in whatever area in your life you can. It is ok if you eat out most nights for the next 2 months, we won’t mind. You’ll make good choices most of the time. And if the best thing for your back turns out to be passing on this marathon, that’s ok, too. We’ll still love you and we know you’ll be back at it when your body is ready. Thanks for sharing.

    Tracy

    July 31, 2009

    I have to agree with Carianne’s first post, this blog has changed. I used to come here because I loved how positive you were, I don’t get that anymore. Certainly it’s not your job as a blogger to make me happy, this is your space, your forum…but I won’t be coming here anymore.
    Sorry.
    I live in a, what did you call it, hometel, full time as that’s what I can afford, crappy kitchen and all. I cook amazing meals in my crappy little kitchen with no house to look forward to in my future, probably ever.
    I was deeply offended and felt very alienated by your comments.
    Maybe this isn’t the place for me to find my inspiration anymore.
    Good luck to you.

    roni

    July 31, 2009

    Tracy – I’m sorry you feel that way. I didn’t mean to offend. I would actually love my little place if I didn’t have to squish all the stuff from my old place in it while storing half my stuff in a pod. You said it, my blog. My place to vent. I’ve been trying not to focus on it but it is what I’m going thru at the moment.

    Funny thing is this is my first non-positive post in a long time. I recently recorded a new video. I answered another readers question. I highlighted my awesome time at BlogHer. So if one venting post is enough to turn you off, sorry, life ain’t perfect all the time.

    I hope you can find the inspiration you need wherever you do decide to go. :)

    Patrizzle

    July 31, 2009

    I’ve always loved this blog BECAUSE you are not always “yay life is so wonderful… leading a healthy lifestyle is SO easy!” too many blogs are unrealistic and make me feel as if I am alone in my crazy busy life. I just realized this recently about other blogs and it is a breath of fresh air to hear that life for someone extremely dedicated to a healthy lifestyle has their roadblocks sometimes. I recently made a huge move and had a really hard time getting into a groove and as a result, gained some weight. I am now getting settled and am finding my way. Reading your blog has been a part of getting back on track. Roni, I love this blog.

    Kris

    July 31, 2009

    Roni, you’re new home is beautiful! Does it have a garage??

    Leslie

    July 31, 2009

    I have to agree with a few of the ladies here. While I don’t appreciate all the foul languaqe used by HA I must agree with much of what was said. I read this post this morning and have thought about it al day. My goodness…you and your husband both have good jobs…so good that you can build a beautiful new home AND you have this poplular blog and you’ve reached your weight loss goals and you have a son…seems like you have many, many blessings in your life right now. I know it can be hard when you’re not in your own routine…trust me, I become a total witch then things don’t go as I have planned. But I must admit after reading your post this morning I thought about the times I have whined and cried about something when the whole time I’m sitting in my amazing new home with a fabulous family and life. You actually taught me a big lesson, Roni. Thanks for that. I won’t be stopping by again either. It’s not that I don’t like you personally or your blog…it’s just lately your posts haven’t been what they used to be. I do wish you the best. I know you’ll continue to be a big success!! I hope all goes well with your new home, job, blogs and your family. Thanks, Roni!!!

    Michelle

    July 31, 2009

    Well, it seems as though some people are in a SNIT today aren’t they. I think, I have seen some worse/negative post than this one and no where near the amount of negative comments. Everybody needs a time-out. Or a strong drink.
    I have not moved in the past 15 years and then it was from my parents’ house to my first house, hence not a lot to move. But I can appreciate all of the feelings. Why can’t everyone else?
    Eating out? It’s the number one thing associated with building and renovating. It’s always mentioned in budget creating. All you can do is try to make good choices.
    I LOVE your blog! I come here everyday. Sometimes 3X a day just to read the comments from the loyal base of readers. I enjoy your goal planning and acheivements and all the trials and tribulations assoc with them. Please, keep it up.
    P.s. I wanted to let you know that I have been enjoying the new blog you are assoc with ‘We are the Real Deal’. Like it a lot!

    Jeannie

    July 31, 2009

    Just wanted to send a positive vibe your way. I was a little surprised by some of the comments to your post, and just wanted to send you a hug. :-) I love to read your blog and completely understand the need to rant every now and then, whether life is great at the moment or not so great at the moment. We ALL have our days. Keep writing girlie; you may have lost a couple of readers, but the rest of us are still here with you rooting you on and appreciating the time that you take to make the blog special and still come across as yourself.

    Becky

    July 31, 2009

    I like your turf, just wish I could drop by more often! ;)

    Re: Lack of mileage… If you can get in a pool, or on a bike machine (if it doesn’t bother your back) or just about anything aerobic-type, and keep up your “aerobic mileage” if you will, when you get back to running it will be easier to get back to your previous groove. Think of it as a chance to give you legs a bit of a break :) and still get some cross training in. Good luck!

    Teresa

    July 31, 2009

    Oh Roni! I don’t believe that I’ve ever posted on your blog before, but I think that this is as good as any time to comment! Kudos to you for posting your rant. I have read your blog for a while now and I absolutely love it. You spend all this time to put yourself out there positively and yet it is supposedly far-fetched for you to be honest and let yourself be negative for once? I don’t understand what the big deal is. And double kudos for standing up to those people who think you don’t have a right to rant.

    I for one WILL be returning to your blog :D :D :D

    Jessica

    July 31, 2009

    I’m a long time reader that has never commented before but I feel the need to on this post.

    I can’t believe people are upset with you and are not coming to your blog anymore because of one rant! Everyone has challenges in life, no matter how many blessings they have, and they deserve to get it off their chest. It surprises me that people would be upset by that…

    I love your blog and think it’s great that you are so honest about your feelings, good and bad.

    Marsha

    August 1, 2009

    Hi Roni,
    I have to agree w/ a few ppl here and set the record straight — its not about not coming to your blog b/c of a rant — everyone deserves a day off to just vent. Its about the fact that lately, I have noticed a lot of negativity, whining and complaining about how busy, stressful and stretched you are in your life while doing nothing to change it. Its a lot of OH look at me, im stressed, oh look at me I have this really busy life and I still eat well, OH look at me, I’m CRAZY to be doing all this stuff — well there are ppl that have A LOT busier life that you, people that sleep a lot less than you do and people that earn a lot less than you do probably. If you feel so strongly that you are always busy and that you are CRAZY to be taking on so many things, then don’t. Otherwise, quit drawing attn to yourself and all the things on your plate b/c everyone has that stuff — they just deal with it w/ a little more finesse. Or continue to do what you do and stretch yourself thin — hey thats fine but quit saying it in every single post. We get it. you’re skinny, you have a son, you have a job, you have a full life and its hard. But seriously, no one needs reminding every. single. day. This blog is to provide inspiration to people; its cathartic to you to tell other people your life stories — great! But if you say the same old story with a slight twist everyday, why not just tell yourself that in the mirror. Like it or not, in writing a blog, you are writing for an audience and sometimes that requires a little bit of positivity, finesse and grace. Otherwise, we’d all be writing our every negative/suicidal/kill others/angry thoughts — and we don’t. Not as sane humans b/c as soon as things are out of our heads, they need to be filtered some.
    Hence, I will try and stop by less as I have found this blog to talk about things that have a chance to be changed but you dont change them and ultimately, your posts remind me of either a attention seeker or a negative nancy or a complainer or someone that thinks they have a right to a life that is better than everyone else’s life. And for pete’s sake, please spell check and grammar check before you publish — you are writing for an audience.

    roni

    August 1, 2009

    Marsha – Thanks for your negative nilly comment.

    please read my latest post… Unapologetically Myself
    http://ronisweigh.com/2009/07/weekend-quote-unapologetically-myself.html

    As for the typos… I used to OVER apologize for my lack of editing and proofreading skills. I got tired of it. This is me.. I’m a bad writer. I know it. my audience knows it. Why the heck are you still reading if I bother you so much?

    Note: Now I’m just tired and cranky.

    Tiger G

    August 1, 2009

    Roni should be really sorry that she lost weight(something most of us haven’t accomplished), went through grueling college and grad school to get a nice paying job, met a nice guy that is supportive and a then had a totally adorable son. Shame on you Roni.. shame on you. Why can’t you be average? Why can’t you stop being such a beacon of light and inspiration?

    What a bunch of bitches that complained about reading your (for all intents and purposes) online diary. If only it were so easy to point out our own faults and correct them.

    I love you and you rock.

    Kim

    August 1, 2009

    What in the world? Are these people insane?
    Roni…you are awesome!! Please don’t think that we all (or even the majority of us) feel this way. This is the most ridiculous crap I have ever heard.
    Message to everyone out there: If you don’t like this blog (or any other blog), then don’t read it!! Blogs are people’s thoughts and feelings in the moment. They aren’t supposed to be well thought out…and they don’t have to be positive or even make sense. That is the beauty of it…and oh by the way….who gives a rat’s a– about the grammar and spelling. I like reading this blog because it feels like a conversation…and I can so relate.
    Roni…you are great. Most people can certainly relate to the things you say and your experiences. Please continue to keep it real. Life is not a bed of roses….and just because you have been blessed…doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have a bad day and oh my goodness….you might even complain!! Some people never cease to amaze me….ugh!!

    Melissa

    August 1, 2009

    Aw, Roni, I’m so sorry that these crazy people are being so negative. I enjoyed your complaint. It makes you seem real and human. You’re going through a tough time, and you deserve to complain. The best things and time in life are often what you end up complaining about the most. I complained so much through my wedding, but it was one of the best days of my life. I love my job and am lucky to have it, but I’m going to complain about it. Part of being healthy is just getting those frustrations out so you can enjoy the good that you have coming your way. There just seems to be so much jealousy. There’s always going to be someone who has it harder than you; does that mean no one ever gets to complain?

    It’s so great to see you doing what makes you happy even if it’s stressful. I can’t believe people are criticizing you for your amazing work ethic.

    Oh and if you’re going to complain about Roni’s grammar in a comment, use apostrophes correctly! I also thought it was hilarious that people are telling YOU the point of YOUR blog!

    I hope to read more ranting in the future, not because I want to see you unhappy, but because I love that you share the real you.

    Tracy

    August 1, 2009

    Thanks Roni, I take away that wonderful whole wheat pizza recipe from green lite bites (so good!)…
    oh, and, one great running song you haven’t mentioned on your lists is Sabotage by the Beasties…when your backs all a-okayagain (and it will be ) you have to add it to your marathon playlist.
    :)…again, all the best to you & good luck

    Nia

    August 1, 2009

    Oh my God…. hey Roni! I love your blog and I try to read it whenever I have some DOWN time… I I’m shocked with the comments on here! Sheesh… nobody is forced to read a blog if they don’t like it… and whatever happened to the saying “if you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all?”

    I’ve been struggling a lot with my weight loss lately… I took have taken on a lot on my plate. Why?! Because like YOU, I ENJOY the challenge!

    Thank you for letting us learn from your daily struggles. I’ve learned that “I’m not alone in this journey”.

    I hope your back feels better soon and I look forward to reading MORE of your posts… unapologetically yourself :)

    Aime

    August 1, 2009

    Wow, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I suppose everyone has a right to their opinion, but geez some of these are a bit out of control. This too shall pass. Roni, try not to let the few negative comments ruin the message of the many positive, supportive comments. You have been there for so many readers during their bad days, weeks, months. It’s our turn to be there for you.

    Ami

    August 1, 2009

    I haven’t read all the comments, so I may be repeating. But ever since I read this post the other day I was reminded of my time in an in-between apartment. Four years later, I remember the positives. Actually, I counted it a positive then, too! I moved from IA to KY 6 weeks before my 2nd child was born, my first was only 20 months old! So here’s some positives you can enjoy now:

    1. You have so much less housework to do! So much less maintenance. Really, you will have to spend nearly no time cleaning. No yard work, no fixing broken stuff.

    2. Rent is pretty cheap for teensy little homotels.

    3. You don’t have to spend money on home maintenance!

    Last year we were in another transition and stayed in a furnished temporary apartment for a while. The kitchen was very sparsely furnished, and it was sort of fun to see how I could improvise. It was pretty neat to eat soup and cereal out of mugs for a change, and I still had the satisfaction of sitting my family down to healthy meals. (But I’m not superwoman…I was 8 months pregnant with baby number 3 but caring for my family was pretty much my only obligation)

    So my cheerful advice to you is to realize that in some areas your work load has lessoned, and maybe your expenses have too. Can you plan to eat out, rather than falling back on it in guilt? There’s lots of healthy options if you plan where you’re going and stick to the plan. Rather than being exhausted, dreading cooking, and giving in to guilt, PLAN to go buy healthy fast food, take it to a park for a picnic and family play time.

    roni

    August 1, 2009

    Kris – Totally missed the garage question. It does! The windows on the lower level are the garage! Just side entry. Makes the house look bigger then it is. :)

    roni

    August 1, 2009

    Ami – Thanks I needed that! And you are right. I have plans to plan tomorrow. I was just thrown off with the vacation and conference. This week I WILL be prepared! :)

    Jennie

    August 1, 2009

    Kitchen- I have a kitchen from the early 1900’s it is shaped like a walkway. I totally wish I had a giant kitchen with more than half a counter, but planning is everything with a small kitchen. Sometimes you have to make the meal in phases like doing the prep on veggies while something else is in the oven (because there isn’t room for a cutting board and a baking sheet out at the same time). This is a great opportunity to add another adaptive layer to your cooking style. I often use the microwave to steam veggie because I ran outta room on the stove, OR I throw broccoli in the pasta water and cook everything together (broccoli floats and is easy to scoop off the top, baby carrots are way harder to get out).
    Back- Is there a good chiropractor in your area? The one I go to works on the Olympic training center and helps the athletes. Find one that is used to athletes and will give strengthening exercises (like physical therapy) to help recovery. I have a chronic injury (from ignoring my pain it never healed right) and I have found ways to manage it through exercise and stretching and the occasional adjustments (I also went through some physical therapy).

    Kris

    August 1, 2009

    Hey roni it’s me again (the one with the garage question. lol) I wasnt going to post again, but I just needed to…..I am one of the people who has noticed a change in your blog…..but I dont think the negative comment leavers understand you are human and you AREN’T perfect. Even though I did look forward to the routine you had going (Video recipes, Q and A from readers and Thought Thursdays)…..it doesn’t mean I am not coming by anymore! People get used to a set way of things and don’t like change.

    I personally hold you in a sort of “celebrity status”. I mean seriously if I saw you in a store I would be so excited…although I live on the other side of the country, so I have a better chance of winning the lottery, but you get my point. I guess what I’m getting at is all of your readers need to understand the fact that you allow us into your most personal thoughts and moments. And you are in no way obligated to do so! This isn’t something you HAVE to do! I mean sure you are a very fortunate person, you have a lot and you work hard for everything you have. For someone to walk all over that is absurd! Keep on doing what your doing and don’t ever have any regrets! So you’re losing a few selfish readers….big friggin’ deal! They aren’t the first and you can bet they won’t be the last.

    Liz

    August 2, 2009

    Roni, you are a rockstar and I think that you are fab, rant or no rant! I think people need to remember that we all have different situations and we can’t judge! I think your rants make you seem more human :) just keep posting and remember that you have a big cheering section behind you!

    Zoey

    August 2, 2009

    Hi Roni,

    Wow, the house really is coming along quickly! When do you get to move in? I hope that your back starts feeling better soon. I am glad that you are taking it easy with running and weights until you can get it checked out.

    Elaine

    August 2, 2009

    For my two cents:
    -I have noticed a bit of negativity in the blog. A bit of “Oh my God I’m so busy this is horrible”. But, I also think, what are the other options, sit on your butt all day?!?! I, too, complain about my job and my work schedule and whatnot…but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

    The interesting thing is the ONLY two things you complained about were your diet and your exercise. It seems like readers are attacking you for monetary things….never once did you say, “Oh, I’m too good to be living in this hometel” or anything like that. Never once did you say, “I’m too cool and rich to work…” instead you said, “I just got a job.”

    Kudos to the other commenter that said you did this…you aren’t Paris Hilton and you don’t have a trust fund (that I know about!)….you busted your a$$ through graduate school, married the right person, worked the WW program to lose the weight…

    Heads up, negative commenters…..nothing Roni has got handed to her on a silver platter. If you don’t like your own life, find a way to change it…don’t bash Roni for hers.

    roni

    August 2, 2009

    Elaine – LMAO… believe me… no trust fund.. LORD how I wish! ;~p

    roni

    August 2, 2009

    Zoey – I’m hoping the second week of Sept… IF they stay on schedule. *crossing fingers they stay on schedule* :)

    AJ

    August 3, 2009

    OMG the house looks amazing! I know you and you are gonna get back into the swing of (healthy) things soon. Hey- did you post the spinach mozzarella sticks yet? I have a bag of spinach here, mozzarella sticks on the brain and I can’t wait to see how you made them… :-) AJ

    AJ

    August 3, 2009

    Hi Me again–
    um, wow -just read Marsha post.

    You can bitch and moan and be crabby all you want. it is YOUR BLOG and YOUR time to be YOU – the you you are today or tomorrow or next week.

    Glad you responded to her and moved on.
    And hey, NONE of my posts are perfect cuz I am not a perfect person– I am an editor IRL where I have to be perfect. At home, not so much. :-)

    MR

    August 3, 2009

    Just wanted to re-iterate what others have already said: You have the right to publish whatever you want on your blog and people have the right to read it or not, whichever they choose.

    Allison K

    August 3, 2009

    Wow, this is SO interesting to me. I’m a Human Development and Family Studies major, so the little microcosm that is this post and its comments is really kind of fascinating. It makes me think about these people who leave negative comments that are plain rude and aren’t even articulate or well thought out.

    I will admit, I don’t visit your site as frequently as I used to because the focus has shifted and become less honed than it used to be. Though, I understand that’s b/c you are going through some serious life changes and likely going through a developmental phase – but that doesn’t mean your intention for your blog has changed, and it doesn’t mean that I flutter around leaving mean spirited comments. If anything, the blog is a useful tool to help you through high and low times, which you’ve readily explained before.

    Your post made me think of my mom. She is totally amazing to me – went through a divorce, became a single parent and worked her ass off to support herself and her son, then supported a second husband who was usually out of work while raising me, taking 18 hours of night classes or something crazy to get her teacher certification, and doing all the typical female gender role crap (that’s just the short list). Even if she’d gone through that now, I’m really not even sure she’d have time to blog about it. But, the internet is part of your business, it’s built into your life. Like everyone has said, it’s your blog and your choice to use this medium to share, express, vent or complain. That’s the beauty of the internet as a social networking tool!!

    I’m sorry for this silly, all-over-the-place comment – I’m just mind boggled at how people can be so hateful and can’t like.. analytically think about your situation. If someone wants to make a point, at least be diplomatic about it so you actually make your point instead of coming off as an inconsiderate assholer.

    Anyway, sorry again – and I know you’re going to figure out a way to get back on track.