I hate being a downer. HATE it! That’s why I’ve been fairly absent on the blog. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m just really, REALLY grumpy. I meant GRUMPAAAAY. I’m short with the toddler. The husband is pissing me off. My house is in disarray. I have no desire to do anything. Quitting on a 4 mile run the other day, skipping my run this morning. I have a half marathon in 2 weeks and I feel completely unprepared and unmotivated.
I’m in Limbo Land. I accepted a new job but it doesn’t start for another month. I’m trying to sell this house but showings have been decreasing. They are breaking ground in 2 weeks on the new one and I’m freaking out. I want to get into a new routine but I know everything is going to change soon so why bother.
All of this spawns smaller discontents. I’m tired of being woken up by the toddler. I’m tired of making every meal. I’m tired of paying bills and having to pinch pennies. I’m tired of fighting the healthy fight. I’m… just… tired.
I can feel the pendulum start to swing in the other direction and it’s scaring me. I really believe in life inertia. Good choices lead to other good choices and once you move in the general direction of healthy (happy), momentum will keep you going. Getting a good night sleep prepares you to wake up early for a run which leads to a healthy breakfast which leads to a better choice for lunch, which leads to cooking dinner at home which leads to an evening family walk. You get the idea, right? Well my bad choices are starting to outnumber the good. I’m staying up later, snacking my way through late night TV, going to bed without even brushing my teeth. I wake up with good intentions only to have a small thing throw me off my game.
Today is a great example, I was planning on getting up early, running and starting my day on good note. Then the toddler woke up before me. At first I thought ok, I’ll get breakfast in him and then hit the pavement. Three hours later here I am writing this without an ounce of desire to run or do anything for that matter.
I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Wait… a… minute…. The wise words of Yoda just popped into my head… “Do or do not… there is no try.”
How am I trying? By feeling sorry for myself. No no no. I must just DO! Ok, here’s my plan to fight this funk TODAY!
|Turn OFF the TV||Doing it NOW!|
|BLAST the music and straighten up this house.||@ ~10AM – Music is BLASTING! Right now and I love it! :) AND This house is clean! getting dressed for my run!|
|RUN! (at least a short 2 miles around the community)||@10:45 – The RUN is DONE! Whoo Hooo! Feeling good! :)|
|Make a healthy lunch||@12:15 – ok, so I’m doing this now but I showered first. That was one sweaty run! (ohh had a sandwich on whole grain with ham, laughing cow, lettuce, tomato, & honey mustard and bell pepper strips|
|Shower, get dressed, and put on makeup (something I haven’t done all week)||@12:15 – I’m dressed! NOT in gym clothes, can you believe it?!? lol However I did try this on before getting ready for the meeting. Gotta run! can’t be late!|
|Meet with my client in the city (Have a project to wrap up)||@3:45 – Went great! At Panera now finishing up the site for them.|
|Pick up the toddler early from school and take him to the park for a walk||@3:45 – This is probably not going to happen… looks like a storm is rolling in. :( But that’s ok… my day doesn’t have to be perfect! ;~)|
|Make a healthy dinner||@6:00 – Dinners on! Burgers (for me a turkey burger) and grilled zucchini! :)|
|Get the family out to do something together (walk, bowling, park, something)||@7:00 – Family went out for a night of putt putt and arcade games! We had a BLAST!|
|Clean up before relaxing this evening||@8:50 – Did this after I had my PJs on while the husband read stories to the toddler.|
|Get ready for bed when the toddler does (pajamas on, teeth brushed, etc.)||@8:30 – We both but our PJs on and brushed our teeth together (even gargling) then I washed my face and now I’m relaxing. I need to do this every night, I mean seriously, it’s not that hard.|
|GO TO BED EARLY||@10:30 – I’m goin’ to bed. I had a great day and feel 100% better!! I have read ALL comments and you guys really are the best! Such great advice, such great support! I’m not pressuring myself to respond to everyone or write a summary post tonight. I’m learning! ;~P|
I will do this. I can do this. I MUST do this. I’m tried of feeling crappy. Control what I can control, that has always been my approach to life, why am I letting all this get to me so much. Ok, I’m off. I need to shut off the TV. I’ll post updates when I can throughout the day!
Join me in making today a great day?