I hate being a downer. HATE it! That’s why I’ve been fairly absent on the blog. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m just really, REALLY grumpy. I meant GRUMPAAAAY. I’m short with the toddler. The husband is pissing me off. My house is in disarray. I have no desire to do anything. Quitting on a 4 mile run the other day, skipping my run this morning. I have a half marathon in 2 weeks and I feel completely unprepared and unmotivated.
I’m in Limbo Land. I accepted a new job but it doesn’t start for another month. I’m trying to sell this house but showings have been decreasing. They are breaking ground in 2 weeks on the new one and I’m freaking out. I want to get into a new routine but I know everything is going to change soon so why bother.
*sigh*
All of this spawns smaller discontents. I’m tired of being woken up by the toddler. I’m tired of making every meal. I’m tired of paying bills and having to pinch pennies. I’m tired of fighting the healthy fight. I’m… just… tired.
I can feel the pendulum start to swing in the other direction and it’s scaring me. I really believe in life inertia. Good choices lead to other good choices and once you move in the general direction of healthy (happy), momentum will keep you going. Getting a good night sleep prepares you to wake up early for a run which leads to a healthy breakfast which leads to a better choice for lunch, which leads to cooking dinner at home which leads to an evening family walk. You get the idea, right? Well my bad choices are starting to outnumber the good. I’m staying up later, snacking my way through late night TV, going to bed without even brushing my teeth. I wake up with good intentions only to have a small thing throw me off my game.
Today is a great example, I was planning on getting up early, running and starting my day on good note. Then the toddler woke up before me. At first I thought ok, I’ll get breakfast in him and then hit the pavement. Three hours later here I am writing this without an ounce of desire to run or do anything for that matter.
I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Wait… a… minute…. The wise words of Yoda just popped into my head… “Do or do not… there is no try.”
How am I trying? By feeling sorry for myself. No no no. I must just DO! Ok, here’s my plan to fight this funk TODAY!
| Baby Step | Completed? |
|---|---|
| Turn OFF the TV | Doing it NOW! |
| BLAST the music and straighten up this house. | @ ~10AM – Music is BLASTING! Right now and I love it! :) AND This house is clean! getting dressed for my run! |
| RUN! (at least a short 2 miles around the community) | @10:45 – The RUN is DONE! Whoo Hooo! Feeling good! :) |
| Make a healthy lunch | @12:15 – ok, so I’m doing this now but I showered first. That was one sweaty run! (ohh had a sandwich on whole grain with ham, laughing cow, lettuce, tomato, & honey mustard and bell pepper strips |
| Shower, get dressed, and put on makeup (something I haven’t done all week) | @12:15 – I’m dressed! NOT in gym clothes, can you believe it?!? lol However I did try this on before getting ready for the meeting. Gotta run! can’t be late! |
| Meet with my client in the city (Have a project to wrap up) | @3:45 – Went great! At Panera now finishing up the site for them. |
| Pick up the toddler early from school and take him to the park for a walk | @3:45 – This is probably not going to happen… looks like a storm is rolling in. :( But that’s ok… my day doesn’t have to be perfect! ;~) |
| Make a healthy dinner | @6:00 – Dinners on! Burgers (for me a turkey burger) and grilled zucchini! :) |
| Get the family out to do something together (walk, bowling, park, something) | @7:00 – Family went out for a night of putt putt and arcade games! We had a BLAST! |
| Clean up before relaxing this evening | @8:50 – Did this after I had my PJs on while the husband read stories to the toddler. |
| Get ready for bed when the toddler does (pajamas on, teeth brushed, etc.) | @8:30 – We both but our PJs on and brushed our teeth together (even gargling) then I washed my face and now I’m relaxing. I need to do this every night, I mean seriously, it’s not that hard. |
| GO TO BED EARLY | @10:30 – I’m goin’ to bed. I had a great day and feel 100% better!! I have read ALL comments and you guys really are the best! Such great advice, such great support! I’m not pressuring myself to respond to everyone or write a summary post tonight. I’m learning! ;~P |
I will do this. I can do this. I MUST do this. I’m tried of feeling crappy. Control what I can control, that has always been my approach to life, why am I letting all this get to me so much. Ok, I’m off. I need to shut off the TV. I’ll post updates when I can throughout the day!
Join me in making today a great day?
59 Responses to Limbo Land with a Plan to Fight the Funk
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About Roni
Roni started this blog in '05 to journal her weight loss. 70lbs later, she's committed to living a conscious, healthy life and hopes to inspire others along the way. Read more on the about page.
Fake it ’til you make it. I’m a believer in that. Good for you for taking control and making that pedulum swing in the other direction!
I saw my doctor yesterday. Lately I’ve just been tired. Not sleepy, tired, sick & tired. She said she sees a lot of people like that in the spring. Like the winter has sucked the life out of you and you’re impatient for that change. You need that change! And you have so many other changes you are waiting for, like your job and your house.
Roni, I think it’s great that you wrote this post because it shows you how many people support you and understand what you’re going through. For me, sometimes just not feeling so alone in how I feel can be really helpful!
I’m in a transition time as well as I’m graduating from college next week and I’m moving back home since I don’t have a job yet. Yesterday I was feeling just off and in a funky mood and after talking about it with someone, I realized that the in-between time between college and getting my first job is making me kind of nervous. I totally understand the limbo land that you’re feeling.
Anyways, thanks for a great post and I hope you’re feeling a little better today. Take some time for yourself to get a mani/pedi, read a magazine or book or just go for a walk. Sometimes just some “me time” can really help!
Roni, you’re human and it’s totally ok to feel in a funk every now and then. Your readers know and love you, regardless of your mood. Thank you for being honest and sharing what’s been going on. It sounds like you’re just overwhelmed at the moment, and it makes a lot of sense why you’d feel this way right now. Baby steps, baby steps :)
I read your site regularly but have never gotten this much motivation before! Seriously, you’ve given me that ooompfh I needed to get moving… eat healthier, exercise and get off my arss. Thanks. Great Job!
I saw this commercial this morning for the first time and i automatically thought to myself.. “I have to send this to Roni” lol.. I just thought it was so fitting for this post.. And true! =P
Wait.. I totally just forgot the link lol..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfM0CkzL_-I
YOU…..ARE…..AWESOME!
It sounds like you had a great day. I need to follow your lead and set some daily goals for myself. I am now 7 months pregnant and just have been in an emotional limbo. Thanks for all your inspiration and sharing your bad days with us. We are all normal.
Roni Roni Roni…. I know there are 58 comments on the post already but I’m going to add mine anyway. Any I’ll tell you why… We often read about your successes and this inspires us all. It makes us feel like we can do. But Sister, I have to tell you, to see you struggle makes me feel human. And to know I’m not alone, ahhh, what a relief.
Because see.. I just went through this last week. I mean the week before the Dep was the best husband on the planet and last week, I was picking out my dress for his funeral. My kids were fantastic and then I was a horrible mother and they were going to get pregnant/get someone pregnant/use drugs/ fail school/ become derelicts/ hate me/ need psychotherapy. Pick one. I was on top of the weight loss and fitness world and then I was NEVER EVER EVER going to be able to maintain my loss in a million years. I was a fitness guru and then… who am I kidding I can’t even run more than 5 miles anymore without mortally injuring myself. You get the idea. On and on and I just couldn’t get out of the cycle of self pity and loathing and I wrote about it (not on my blog as much as pages ad pages in my personal journal). I wrote about how when things are great all things seems great and when things suck.. well everything sucks.
Part of what I recognize is that some of that is hormonal. Some is self-pity. Some is poor planning. Some is reality. Part of the daily battle is just recognizing and acknowledging that sometimes things are going to suck. They just are. The run stinks. The scale goes up. Your husband is being a jerk. Your kids are completely intolerable. You get mad at yourself for getting mad and on and on. And then at some point you go..oh crap. I see where this is going and I’m not going there. I’m. Just. Not. And you don’t.
Bless you for your honesty :)