One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

FIGHTING THE FUNK

Limbo Land with a Plan to Fight the Funk

59 Comments 3299 views

I hate being a downer. HATE it! That’s why I’ve been fairly absent on the blog. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m just really, REALLY grumpy. I meant GRUMPAAAAY. I’m short with the toddler. The husband is pissing me off. My house is in disarray. I have no desire to do anything. Quitting on a 4 mile run the other day, skipping my run this morning. I have a half marathon in 2 weeks and I feel completely unprepared and unmotivated.

I’m in Limbo Land. I accepted a new job but it doesn’t start for another month. I’m trying to sell this house but showings have been decreasing. They are breaking ground in 2 weeks on the new one and I’m freaking out. I want to get into a new routine but I know everything is going to change soon so why bother.

*sigh*

All of this spawns smaller discontents. I’m tired of being woken up by the toddler. I’m tired of making every meal. I’m tired of paying bills and having to pinch pennies. I’m tired of fighting the healthy fight. I’m… just… tired.

I can feel the pendulum start to swing in the other direction and it’s scaring me. I really believe in life inertia. Good choices lead to other good choices and once you move in the general direction of healthy (happy), momentum will keep you going. Getting a good night sleep prepares you to wake up early for a run which leads to a healthy breakfast which leads to a better choice for lunch, which leads to cooking dinner at home which leads to an evening family walk. You get the idea, right? Well my bad choices are starting to outnumber the good. I’m staying up later, snacking my way through late night TV, going to bed without even brushing my teeth. I wake up with good intentions only to have a small thing throw me off my game.

Today is a great example, I was planning on getting up early, running and starting my day on good note. Then the toddler woke up before me. At first I thought ok, I’ll get breakfast in him and then hit the pavement. Three hours later here I am writing this without an ounce of desire to run or do anything for that matter.

I’m trying. I’m really trying.

Wait… a… minute…. The wise words of Yoda just popped into my head… “Do or do not… there is no try.”

How am I trying? By feeling sorry for myself. No no no. I must just DO! Ok, here’s my plan to fight this funk TODAY!

Baby Step Completed?
Turn OFF the TV Doing it NOW!
BLAST the music and straighten up this house. @ ~10AM – Music is BLASTING! Right now and I love it! :) AND This house is clean! getting dressed for my run!
RUN! (at least a short 2 miles around the community) @10:45 – The RUN is DONE! Whoo Hooo! Feeling good! :)
Make a healthy lunch @12:15 – ok, so I’m doing this now but I showered first. That was one sweaty run! (ohh had a sandwich on whole grain with ham, laughing cow, lettuce, tomato, & honey mustard and bell pepper strips
Shower, get dressed, and put on makeup (something I haven’t done all week) @12:15 – I’m dressed! NOT in gym clothes, can you believe it?!? lol However I did try this on before getting ready for the meeting. Gotta run! can’t be late!
Meet with my client in the city (Have a project to wrap up) @3:45 – Went great! At Panera now finishing up the site for them.
Pick up the toddler early from school and take him to the park for a walk @3:45 – This is probably not going to happen… looks like a storm is rolling in. :( But that’s ok… my day doesn’t have to be perfect! ;~)
Make a healthy dinner @6:00 – Dinners on! Burgers (for me a turkey burger) and grilled zucchini! :)
Get the family out to do something together (walk, bowling, park, something) @7:00 – Family went out for a night of putt putt and arcade games! We had a BLAST!
Clean up before relaxing this evening @8:50 – Did this after I had my PJs on while the husband read stories to the toddler.
Get ready for bed when the toddler does (pajamas on, teeth brushed, etc.) @8:30 – We both but our PJs on and brushed our teeth together (even gargling) then I washed my face and now I’m relaxing. I need to do this every night, I mean seriously, it’s not that hard.
GO TO BED EARLY @10:30 – I’m goin’ to bed. I had a great day and feel 100% better!! I have read ALL comments and you guys really are the best! Such great advice, such great support! I’m not pressuring myself to respond to everyone or write a summary post tonight. I’m learning! ;~P

I will do this. I can do this. I MUST do this. I’m tried of feeling crappy. Control what I can control, that has always been my approach to life, why am I letting all this get to me so much. Ok, I’m off. I need to shut off the TV. I’ll post updates when I can throughout the day!

Join me in making today a great day?




Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 59 comments so far.

    laurieann

    May 14, 2009

    I know how you feel. I hate limbo. I am such a planner. Our house too is on the market was sold and now he backed out unfortunately we have also closed on our new house. Such a conundrum. i totally get how you feel. I did my baby step yesterday even with all the crap, the half packed house and the teenager driving me crazy I did the 30 day shed. yes it killed me, i felt like an idiot. I had fat flapping around like no one’s business, but it helped me in the sense that I have control over MY life. The rest will fall into place when it needs to.

    (hugs) it will for you too.

    Emily

    May 14, 2009

    Hey Roni! I thought something might be ‘off,’ you haven’t been around here much lately. Good luck with the motivation/baby steps…sometimes we just burn out and need to hit re-set to get moving in the right direction again.

    Oh, and I’ve been meaning to ask you, can you send me an e-mail when you get a chance so I have your address? I can’t find it on your page and I have a random question for you.

    Thanks!

    GlobalFit

    May 14, 2009

    I think your ‘baby steps’ checklist is a great idea. You can see what small things you truly CAN control, and you’ve got short-term goals.

    Making quick-lists like this really helps motivate me.

    I’m sure you’ll get the list done, and I hope that gives you a sense of accomplishment that helps lift you from your funk.

    Rebecca

    May 14, 2009

    I so know how you feel I have really lost motivation lately. Go and have a regular controlled routine day. If something gets off track roll with it and continue on.

    Therese

    May 14, 2009

    Hi Roni,
    I guess I hit the enter tab before I was ready to send, sorry. I just started reading your blog and you are an inspiration to me. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now with the house and new job. Good luck on that. Small steps is a good way to get out of this funk and you will do it.
    You make me want to run more. My friend and I have been training for a half marathon as well and we ran it last weekend in Fargo, ND. I am a slow runner and had some walk breaks but did finish the run (my goal was to finish) in 3:02 hrs. I hope to run again next year and shave off a lot of time. I am far from my goal so I know that the more weight I lose, the easier it will be for me.
    Have a great day and get out and run.

    WannaBeSkinny

    May 14, 2009

    Reed my tweets to you. I am in the same funk. Everything is bugging me. Cats. Kiddo. Hubby. Make them all leave me be!

    I’ve been in a funk too… I’m just doing the whole “fake it til i make it” thing. If I ACT like I’m in a good mood, then maybe it’ll come!

    Simone

    May 14, 2009

    Roni..You are honest, I was TRYING to be supportive by blogging to you. I mentioned you do have a lot on your plate with the home sale, upcoming job, and basically trying to do it all and your response was a little hurtful to me, I was only trying to be understanding. The reason I respect is the fact you do realize your not perfect (who is).

    Sometimes we need to realize it ain’t all about us and start focusing on other things, there are so many with serious health issues, hungry, homeless. Maybe volunteer to do something for someone and not worry so much about ourselves. I am trying to do this, but its difficult as I am rather set in my ways.

    debby

    May 14, 2009

    Roni, before you quoted Yoda, I thought, she just needs to DO one thing. That is a great list, but it seems a little ambitious for someone running on empty. IMO the most important thing you can do for yourself is to go to bed early.

    And give yourself some credit. You are under a LOT of stress with that house situation. And a new job starting…

    Laughingfrog

    May 14, 2009

    Hi, relatively new here, but have enjoyed your videos and your blog. Last year I lost 80 pounds and became a “fitness nut”…started running and completed my first half marathon this spring. I recall hitting a period like you’re describing just before my half marathon…looking back I think it was overtraining fatigue that derailed me for about a week…I was listless, questioning my sanity for wanting to do the event, etc. I was in a funk and felt like my life was out of control and revolving around the training, so I backed off the workouts and slowly built back up, but I never ran or walked anything more than 6 miles for the remainder of the time before the race.

    In fact , I was only training to walk the marathon (and hoping to finish in under 3 hours), but had introduced some running into my training just to loosen my thigh muscles. Well, guess what? Something magical happened at the starting line of the half marathon…something motivated me to run and I ran the first 7 miles…at that point my knees started to bother me, so I started walk/running the rest of it. My guess is that I walked no more than 3 miles of the 13.1 and I finished in under 2 1/2 hours!!!!

    Anyway, I share my story because yours sounds familiar…and you may just have to back off, refocus and babystep your way back into the groove. Give yourself credit for all that you HAVE accomplished and build from those successes. Think how just a few years ago you would have never considered yourself a runner, and now look at you! I don’t know what motivates you to run or compete, but for me it’s not about the time it takes me to complete…it’s all about the fact that I am ABLE to compete and COMPLETE these events knowing where I was just over a year ago! That’s the victory.

    Come on…you can do it! Just take a breather and refocus your energy and get yourself back on “the wagon”! YOU CAN DO IT!

    patty

    May 14, 2009

    I think we’ve all been where you are at one point or another, for various reasons. I just thought about one of my favorite books (and yours too) “Oh The Places You’ll Go”. Think of the page with the elephants: “With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!” You’ll get yourself out of this slump Roni…because that’s who you are.
    Hang in there.

    Pam

    May 14, 2009

    Go out with some girlfriends, get a massage, go to a movie, have drinks with friends……DO something for yourself!!!! And ,if you can do something for someone else who really needs it that is also GREAT medicine…….Before long you will be back in the groove, ready to conquere!!!!!

    heather

    May 14, 2009

    Word.

    Janna

    May 14, 2009

    I was looking for a quote for my own blog this morning and I came across this and I just wanted to pass it on! Great job on making a plan!

    Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
    Harriet Beecher Stowe

    Renee

    May 14, 2009

    This might also be a good time to find a Weight Watchers meeting – that is usually part of my ritual of breaking the funk. At this point it isn’t about the scale, it’s about being with other people having the same/similar struggle, and also helps remind me of how far I’ve come (I’ve been Lifeteime and maintaining (most of) that loss for 5 years),
    It can be hard to carve out that half hour for myself, but I know no one there judges me (except me!) and it sets me on the path to follow through on that whole to-do list I create!

    Annalisa

    May 14, 2009

    Hey Roni! I think we all go through those funk moments (or weeks or months). I just had it a few months ago after finishing my MBA (hello loans, thanks for no jobs, economy!). We’re also considering a cross country move, planning a wedding for this summer, and had to give away a beloved pet because of allergies. It was a lot in a short period of time.

    I fought it for a while and then I gave in — sort of. I rented a bunch of movies between Blockbuster and Netflix and gave myself a few days to stay in my room, watch movies, read books/magazines from the library and have the fiance take care of things. It worked. I felt refreshed. I needed a little mental break time and wanted to be self indulgent.

    After a few days of being lazy (and not fighting to go though the motions) I was ready to go back to the gym, clean the house, run our business/find a job, yada yada.

    I normally wouldn’t advocate this but, I found it to be useful and very much needed.

    Thanks again for your honesty — it is always nice to know that we are not the only ones who have those feelings.

    Darlene

    May 14, 2009

    Roni are you sure you want this job it seems as I have been following your posts that after you accepted the job you got in a funk.Maybe step back and think it over is it really worth all this stress when where you happier?

    Kim

    May 14, 2009

    Hey Roni!! I can so relate to you and what you are saying in regards to “the funk”. I get “the funk” every once in a while and sometimes I’m afraid I won’t ever get out of it….it’s really scary. I do think you are on the right track though…..so just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get there ;-)
    In regards to your attempt to sell your house: I have a friend who flips houses. He always lives in them a couple of years…..does a lot of improvements….and then sales them for a profit. One thing his real estate agent does for him is bring in extra props…pictures….furniture…bedding…etc… I know it sounds crazy, but I think staging really helps in the appeal his houses has to the buyers. He even puts some of his stuff in storage and makes the house maybe less useful to him in his everyday life, but more appealing to the eye. It seems nuts to me…because I’m always thinking…”are buyers really that shallow”….but I think sometimes the answer is yes.
    Anyway…good luck witht he house….your new job….and getting out of your funk….YOU CAN DO IT!! Go Roni ;-)

    Alison

    May 14, 2009

    Hang in there girl! House selling/buying is stressful. I have no advice – when we moved I had an infant and a 2yo and I spiraled into dangerous depression.

    Good for you for moving yourself since you know it’s what you need to do!

    I hope the rest of your day goes better. Thanks for the discussion about momentum/inertion – that makes so much sense!

    Jodi

    May 14, 2009

    Roni –

    We’ve all been in slumps like this. Sometimes the motivation it takes to maintain a such a high-functioning existence wanes a little. We get tired of DOING so much – all the time. Running a household, working full time, working out hard every day, thinking so much about what we’re eating/ cooking, kids’ homework, laundry, selling a house, starting a new job…the list goes on. We miss those days when our fat selves would laze around watching TV and munching on whatever we wanted. It takes energy – a lot of energy – to live our lives the way we do. I think sometimes our bodies need a break – and if we don’t give it to them, they find a way to take it. Don’t worry. This too shall pass. It always does.

    Karen in Tally

    May 14, 2009

    This post is a lesson for me in how to self coach. I don’t want to be a pity-party-animal! Thank you!

    Nichole

    May 14, 2009

    I’m in a funk too Roni! Errr, I hate them!!! Yesterday I decided to be happy and forgo the funk, but then all h*** broke lose when I got home. Babies screaming, dishwasher will not work, baby eating foreign object and starts choking, toddler needs help, dog peed on the floor, and all I wanted to do was finish painting my laundry room. I ended up laying on the couch and watching tv after the kids were taken care of -lazy!. I have 1-3 more weeks before I can start running again, hopefully 1, and then I will get some of the funky feelings out with the pavement.

    jodi

    May 14, 2009

    i think you are not alone, in feeling down and/or in limbo – it’s a crazy time… people are losing their houses and their jobs, while trying to maintain a semi-normal life… my boyfriend and i are so blessed to have jobs that haven’t been hurt by the market, and even though i have days (like today) where i’m bored out of mind – at least i have one… you are juggling SO many things and i admire you for going back to work and adding, yet another, notch on the belt… you go girl!

    just a suggestion but have you talked to your hubby about taking a night-off? maybe he could feed himself and toddler, and leave you to do whatever for that night… granted, he may not make something healthy but at least you could have one less thing to worry about… just suggestion, not a criticism by any means!

    jodi

    Erin

    May 14, 2009

    I had a friend who quit training for a marathon just a few weeks beforehand. I have heard there is a common physical funk that sets in before the big day. You might want to research this with other runners. Just an FYI

    lunzy

    May 14, 2009

    I’m feeling funky too, not a good funk either. Not sure what happened. Kids are going nuts, asking for food all. day. long. and I’m cranky. I did manage to workout but yelled at the kids during yoga– so does that even count now?! lol But I did something. I promised to work out every T/Th/Sat and I did it. This too shall pass, this too shall pass…

    Selling a house when you HAVE to is so not fun. I hated not having any power to control the situation. This too shall pass, this too shall pass….

    And guess what? We are going to have a FABU day on Saturday. I’m totally pumped to shed my funky days and be totally in my own element- not “mom”, not “coach’s wife”, ME. and YOU. sound good? No kids, no hubbies, no funkiness and no jacked up backs allowed as of 7 a.m. Saturday. Deal?

    Janice

    May 14, 2009

    Great plan. Good Luck!!!

    Wendy

    May 14, 2009

    Good for you for realizing the momentum in your life is not going the way you want it to. In looking back at past times when I’ve been fit, I’ve gotten derailed by big change-a new job, a move, etc. You’ve made a big change by going back to work, so what you did before won’t necessarily work now.

    E

    May 14, 2009

    Not to throw your own words back at you, but this entry reminds me of the whole “binge, eat very well the next morning, get hungry, binge again” cycle that you were talking about last week…I just don’t want you to feel like you have to make everything in your day be PERFECT in order for the day to be a success! It sounds kind of like you are thrown off by one bad choice or uncontrollable event and then the whole day is shot (in your mind). Maybe if you reframed your whole day in the weight maintenance/healthy lifestyle mentality it would help.

    Hope that doesn’t sound preachy, I just always hear your voice in my head when I’m feeling like I “ruined” my day by making one bad choice. Every food choice stands alone, and so does every life choice :)

    Jenn

    May 14, 2009

    You’ve got the right idea – baby steps, baby! Fake it til you make it, you know? If you keep trudging through those baby steps, ultimately you’ll find the pendulum swinging in the right direction again.

    Jenn Z.

    May 14, 2009

    You can do this! I found your blog and was inspired to sign up for the Zooma 1/2 marathon because you were doing it. I have two boys, a toddler (almost 3) and a baby (9 months). It is SO EASY to fall into a funk with running. I only have time to run once or twice during the week and the long run on the weekends. But what a symbolic way to show my boys that I can be healthy and am not sitting around during the short window of down time I have. My point is, it might feel like life is spiraling out of control, but you have a plan to take control and it’s all good stuff that’s really great. A new job, a new house, good exercise, a fun child. The 1/2 marathon will be awesome – if I see you I’ll introduce myself. :) Good luck and think about how I get very little sleep at night!

    Kate

    May 14, 2009

    First, I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now and want to say I really enjoy it! I am always excited to see a new post or podcast!

    Reading this post I thought to myself “Didn’t I just hear something about adjusting routines…” and then I remembered it was your most recent podcast. :)

    One reason that had stuck in my head was that I am also in limbo and adjusting to adjusting my routines. What has helped me is to create routines week-by-week, since I am not so sure what life will look like more than a week out. It has really helped keep some of the ohmygodmylifeisinashambles-anxiety at bay.

    As for the half-marathon, it will be fabulous! I ran my first in February and it was a lot more fun than I expected. When I get into a running rut I focus on just getting out there. If the planned 4-miler seems impossible, I might do 2 miles, or even 1, or even walk.

    Hang in there!

    Andrea@WellnessNotes

    May 14, 2009

    I’m a bit of a control freak, so when I feel I’m not in control, I tend not to do so well… I think the schedule is a great idea. Whenever I feel I am at least “in control” of some aspects of my life, it’s so much easier to accept all the aspects where I am not in control…

    A year ago my life was totally out of control. We had a six month old baby and decided to do a major remodel without much planning. Bad idea. I also took on two new teaching assignments with practically no prep time. I was a mess. Planning things, and especially some me time and exercise, were key to getting some control back…

    Good luck with everything! Change can actually be exciting (well, in addition to being a bit scary…)! :o)

    crazylady

    May 14, 2009

    Well done Roni, for first of all recognising the situation you are in and then for doing something to help you get out of it. You can do it…. I have utmost faith it in you and it’s never going to be perfect but hey who needs perfect!!! Perfect is boring :)

    My day went downhill after lunch. I just felt really, really crappy and in my head chocolate was the only possible solution but I worked it through it in my head and was honest about what I though the chocolate would do for me and how it would probably make me feel in reality after and I kept away from it. I won’t always manage that but that’s ok too. The main thing is right now I’m feeling ok again.

    Mel

    May 14, 2009

    I swear to God I could have written this! I have been feeling the exact same way and being grumpy to everybody. What a great reminder, “there is do or do not, there is no try.” I needed to hear that. It all comes down to us are we going to do that run, make that dinner, eat the healthy stuff. Lately I’ve been definitely on the do not side although I did get in a couple runs this week. I’m glad that you took the time to write your thoughts down here because I think just releasing everything can help clear the way for new and better thoughts to take their place. I like that you set your goals for the day and then tackled away. It sounds like you had a very productive day! Congrats. I hope you enjoy your dinner and get in some family exercise time.

    Karyn

    May 14, 2009

    You are one smart lady! Blessings on your day.

    Alisa

    May 14, 2009

    The best advice I can give about exercise – dont think about it. Just do it. We all have off days, weeks, etc….When you feel a day coming on when the 5year old inside (that’s my term for THAT voice in my head) says – “I dont waaaaannnna!” Don’t spend even 1 second thinking about how tired you are, how you really dont want to deal, how it’s a pain, one day doesnt matter, blah blah blah. Change the channel. Think about anything else while you get the tennies and sports bra on. Execute, execute, execute. Do not think. Just do. As yoda says! :)

    Kalee

    May 14, 2009

    Perhaps my favorite post of yours ever! I think I can just relate so much to the funky feeling, having battled it so many times before. I love the thought of positive inertia.

    Priyanka

    May 14, 2009

    I am so sorry Roni that you are feeling this way! But You have such a productive day under your belt now! I think your honesty and the way you put your life to us makes me relate and enjoy your blog more.

    Thanks Roni! I am sure you’ll be out of the funk in no time.

    Karla

    May 14, 2009

    Roni – just the fact that you realize you are in a funk and are trying to do something about it is a step! “This too shall pass.” You cannot negate everything you have accomplished over the last three years in a week or two. Chin up! It’s at this point when I always say to myself – ‘if it’s going to be, it’s up to me…” and that will usually get me back on track! Hang in there, girl, we are rooting for you!!

    Jared

    May 14, 2009

    Ronni–funk must be contagious. I have been in one for a couple weeks. When life gets hectic, I don’t eat right, don’t excerize and I become a grumpy bear. Good luck.

    Cathy

    May 14, 2009

    I’m so sorry you’re having a bad time of it. Your blog is such an inspiration to me and you always feel so “there” in your postings that I wish I could just give you a hug and help you out somehow.

    I think you’re on the right track already. I think grabbing control of a few little things will help you to feel better, feel less stressed.

    I do think like the others have noted that you are going through a LOT of major life changes at the moment and so it’s amping up your stress level. Seriously. The list is a staggering one. Also, I wonder, if it’s maybe invoking a little of the chaos of your life you’ve mentioned back when you were a child with your father and family and so this is why its bringing up some stress responses from those earlier times. Then again it may be that you’re just feeling off track because chaos is happening in so many areas at once.

    It seems to me that you’re already intuitively doing a lot of the things are recommended as useful steps like making your list of next activities that address some of the things that are bothering you for today and keeping them small and manageable to help regain a sense of control.

    David Allen in his book “Getting Things Done” suggests that you’re brain’s working memory space is getting overloaded with all the “need to do’s” and he recommends doing a core dump onto a piece of paper of EVERYTHING that you feel is banging around in the “gotta get to it/gotta fix it” space in your head. He suggests core dumping that list out and then assigning it time points or what the very next action is that has to be done to address it. Which I think is exactly what you’ve done with your list you’ve made.

    Marla Cilley suggests in her book “Kitchen Sink Reflections” how to help people to start to get out of the “my life is chaos” funk when trying to become better organized. She suggests taking a small space and organizing it (she actually suggests cleaning your sink, hence the title, or cleaning out a desk drawer or bathroom drawer) that way you have one finite space that’s “better” that’s “fixed” that’s “clean and tidy” instead of insurmountable list of things. You get one small manageable job done.

    If it helps any, a very wise woman named Roni once said “give yourself credit for what you’re doing right each day”. True things are all off schedule, but give yourself credit for what you did right today. For making the list. For the good decisions you did. For the things that weren’t crazy or out of control.

    Also, it’s okay to vent some more. You don’t have to be upbeat with us all the time. If it’s a list of “All the Things that Drove Me Bananas” for the next week, we’re ready for it. If it’s “Help, Give Me Ideas”, we can do it. If you need a copy of Go Set Go’s “I Hate Everyone” song for your iPod so you can embrace your inner Grump while running before you get to the other side, I’ll send it to you.

    Anyway, I guess this went really, REALLY too long. But I wanted to just say that you’ve done so much and gone so far from what you used to be, one week, even one month of total blue funky funk-ness isn’t going to take you back there.

    Hang in there!

    Cathy

    Zoey

    May 14, 2009

    Roni,

    I loved your post today. I have been in a funk lately too and feeling overwhelmed which leads to not doing very much. I am going to make a list like this starting right now of small things I can do tonight to get myself feeling more proactive. Thank you!

    amy

    May 14, 2009

    Hey Roni!
    you may be getting overwhelmed with the new, full time job looming~ not that the job isn’t a fabulous opportunity, but it will certainly change the schedule you have now (where your time is spent however you plan it). i have been contemplating going back to work (after staying at home with my 2 boys for the last 16 months) and for some reason, I have been getting in bad moods. when I stop and think about it, I really think that it’s the subtle anxiety/pressure I am feeling about going back to work. if I went back to work, it would be a good situation- the work I do is very enjoyable- but it’s still structured work and in a weird way, it gives me the hebie-jeebies. I have never been this way before, but it’s like I have begun to appreciate my freedoms and time with the kids and it’s depressing to contemplate getting back to the grind where I am answering to people and a boss 24/7.

    The job may have nothing to do with it- but it’s a big deal going back full time, and it seriously may be what it eating at you subconciously. I know every time (and it seems like it comes up ALOT lately) my husband and I talk about me working, I get so funk-a-delic and irritable.

    ;)

    Deb

    May 15, 2009

    BREATHE! We had the same thing happen! It took 4 months to build the new house with our complaints and changes. We ended up lowering the price, and we got a buyer, then they lost their job and backed out and 2 weeks later we got another… and sold. It will work out.

    Lara (Thinspired)

    May 15, 2009

    This is greaet, Roni! I am in such a similar funk right now. Huge period of transition…I’ve lost my routine…and I’ve been struggling to have my good choices outnumber the bad. This post is inspiring. I will DO instead of try.

    MizFit

    May 15, 2009

    you know I so feel ya!
    didnt respond to your email yesterday because Im still rolling as a single mama and I didnt wanna thumbtype a fast note.

    Janice

    May 15, 2009

    Way to check everything of your list, Roni!!! I am going to try this when I am in a funk!!!

    Rob Emenecker

    May 15, 2009

    Roni,

    That was an awesome post! What struck me most is how effective and cathartic it was just to put the words into wriiting. I have many periods like the one you described, and it does snowball. “Trying” is one of those words that is fickle. Yoda is right, you either do something or you don’t.

    …Rob

    Robin

    May 15, 2009

    So with you! I tweeted the other day about how I always make sure everyone else is happy, but I forget about me! Today I will make ‘me’ happy :)

    Chantal

    May 15, 2009

    Hello Roni,

    Must be something in the air, because I have been feeling like that too lately and it seem that it’s the case for a lot of people… It’s spring we should be feelinf great, feeling free like a bird :-)

    I can’t realy run because I hurted my hamstring 2 weeks ago, I suscribed to a 10 Km a while ago and I think I won’t be able to do it… that discouraged me soo much because I just love running and I CAN’T do it right now…

    But hey we have to look at the bright side of it… hummm I’m still wondering what’s the bright side of it :-)

    Hang in there, you’re the greatest, I admire you soo much. You can do this.

    Have a great week-end!

    SeaShore

    May 15, 2009

    Fake it ’til you make it. I’m a believer in that. Good for you for taking control and making that pedulum swing in the other direction!

    I saw my doctor yesterday. Lately I’ve just been tired. Not sleepy, tired, sick & tired. She said she sees a lot of people like that in the spring. Like the winter has sucked the life out of you and you’re impatient for that change. You need that change! And you have so many other changes you are waiting for, like your job and your house.

    Liz

    May 15, 2009

    Roni, I think it’s great that you wrote this post because it shows you how many people support you and understand what you’re going through. For me, sometimes just not feeling so alone in how I feel can be really helpful!

    I’m in a transition time as well as I’m graduating from college next week and I’m moving back home since I don’t have a job yet. Yesterday I was feeling just off and in a funky mood and after talking about it with someone, I realized that the in-between time between college and getting my first job is making me kind of nervous. I totally understand the limbo land that you’re feeling.

    Anyways, thanks for a great post and I hope you’re feeling a little better today. Take some time for yourself to get a mani/pedi, read a magazine or book or just go for a walk. Sometimes just some “me time” can really help!

    Melissa

    May 15, 2009

    Roni, you’re human and it’s totally ok to feel in a funk every now and then. Your readers know and love you, regardless of your mood. Thank you for being honest and sharing what’s been going on. It sounds like you’re just overwhelmed at the moment, and it makes a lot of sense why you’d feel this way right now. Baby steps, baby steps :)

    Wendy

    May 15, 2009

    I read your site regularly but have never gotten this much motivation before! Seriously, you’ve given me that ooompfh I needed to get moving… eat healthier, exercise and get off my arss. Thanks. Great Job!

    Sally

    May 16, 2009

    I saw this commercial this morning for the first time and i automatically thought to myself.. “I have to send this to Roni” lol.. I just thought it was so fitting for this post.. And true! =P

    Sally

    May 16, 2009

    Wait.. I totally just forgot the link lol..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfM0CkzL_-I

    Dani

    May 16, 2009

    YOU…..ARE…..AWESOME!

    Shanna

    May 16, 2009

    It sounds like you had a great day. I need to follow your lead and set some daily goals for myself. I am now 7 months pregnant and just have been in an emotional limbo. Thanks for all your inspiration and sharing your bad days with us. We are all normal.

    Joni

    May 16, 2009

    Roni Roni Roni…. I know there are 58 comments on the post already but I’m going to add mine anyway. Any I’ll tell you why… We often read about your successes and this inspires us all. It makes us feel like we can do. But Sister, I have to tell you, to see you struggle makes me feel human. And to know I’m not alone, ahhh, what a relief.

    Because see.. I just went through this last week. I mean the week before the Dep was the best husband on the planet and last week, I was picking out my dress for his funeral. My kids were fantastic and then I was a horrible mother and they were going to get pregnant/get someone pregnant/use drugs/ fail school/ become derelicts/ hate me/ need psychotherapy. Pick one. I was on top of the weight loss and fitness world and then I was NEVER EVER EVER going to be able to maintain my loss in a million years. I was a fitness guru and then… who am I kidding I can’t even run more than 5 miles anymore without mortally injuring myself. You get the idea. On and on and I just couldn’t get out of the cycle of self pity and loathing and I wrote about it (not on my blog as much as pages ad pages in my personal journal). I wrote about how when things are great all things seems great and when things suck.. well everything sucks.

    Part of what I recognize is that some of that is hormonal. Some is self-pity. Some is poor planning. Some is reality. Part of the daily battle is just recognizing and acknowledging that sometimes things are going to suck. They just are. The run stinks. The scale goes up. Your husband is being a jerk. Your kids are completely intolerable. You get mad at yourself for getting mad and on and on. And then at some point you go..oh crap. I see where this is going and I’m not going there. I’m. Just. Not. And you don’t.

    Bless you for your honesty :)