One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

QUOTES

Weekend Quote: Don’t Think

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I’m the first to admit it. I’m an over analyzer. I worry about making decisions. I talk myself out of doing things. I OVER THINK.

I’ll give you an example… The Cook Book.

You know why it’s taken me so long? Sure I had some set backs but to be honest, I’m subconsciously procrastinating. Why? Because I don’t think I’m good enough. I don’t think I have the experience or, and this is going to sound weird, the "right" to produce a cook book. Who am I? I’m not a chef. I’m not a writer. I’m just a mom who cooks for her family. Sure I post my ideas on GreenLiteBites but that’s different. That’s me simply sharing what I cooked on my blog. Plus who’s going to buy a book of recipes they’ve already seen. I don’t have time to come up with new ideas. I barely have time to post what I do now. And my pictures? My pictures aren’t good enough for print. I’m not a photographer. No publisher will over look at me. I’m not an author, nor chef, nor photographer. I’m just a web girl. I should stick with what I know and even that I’m not sure about!

I’ve been having those thoughts for months. No… YEARS. Am I over thinking? Yup. It’s a self-conscious confidence thing I have always struggled with. I simple think I’m not good enough. Just like I thought I wasn’t thin enough. Thin enough to wear a bathing suit. Thin enough to dance. Thin enough to play sports. Thin enough to simply enjoy life.

See, over THINKING is and was always my problem. Then today I saw this…

“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.” -Ray Bradbury

LOVE it! And it’s SO true, anything self-conscious IS lousy! I’ve always been self-conscious and I still am. Losing the weight didn’t cure me like I thought it would. If anything becoming a mom gave me a small burst of confidence. Nursing gave me another one. Blogging still another. Honestly, I feel every accomplishment I’ve made over the last 4 years, including achieving my weight loss goal, starting to run and completing my pull up, have been exercises on my quest to find confidence. I haven’t reached the end of that journey but every day I get a little bit closer.




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Discussion

There are 23 comments so far.

    Mara @ What's For Dinner?

    April 25, 2009

    You rock Ms. Roni :)

    Annette Colby, PhD, RD

    April 25, 2009

    Dear Roni,

    You keep doing whatever you have to do to bring your creative cook book concept into this physical reality. Moving forward will push every piece of self-doubt and fear to the surface… and that’s the point. It’s only by facing your fears and moving forward anyway that we move beyond our limting beliefs. Pull your goal to the front burner and work on it a little every day – no matter how much your fearful parts protest. You will succeed!!!

    We’re cheering for you!!

    kristisummer

    April 25, 2009

    I too over analyze everything. I am my own worst enemy.

    pam

    April 25, 2009

    okay, this quote totally reminds me of the movie “Yes Man”. Ever since that movie I have been analyzing everytime I say no. If you haven’t seen it, you should. P

    Priyanka

    April 26, 2009

    Okay now there is someone else speaking from the other side of the spectrum. While you are an over analyzer I belong to the opposite category, I am an impulsive person. I think very little and just go by my whims. This is really harmful and thankfully..touch wood I have not learned this the hard way! I have a very over thinking husband, who has actually helped me think before committing to something or taking a decision. And for me is like a exercise. It has been difficult for me but I guess with a little effort I am getting there. Of course I have not reached there yet, but I hope that some day my impulsive innerself will learn to analyze things a little and then execute them naturally!

    Maggie

    April 26, 2009

    When you are done over thinking everything. Perhaps you can think about taking your blog and using it for a book. I would buy it!

    roni

    April 26, 2009

    Pam – I haven’t seen it yet! I’ll put it on my queue! :)

    roni

    April 26, 2009

    Priyanka – Funny thing is I feel like that in other aspects of my life. BUT only when it doesn’t have anything to with “me”. Like buying a house or a car. Then I’m impulsive, but doing things for myself (starting to run, writing the book) I’m an over analyzer. It’s a weird combination. lol

    MizFit

    April 26, 2009

    PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS is what I call it.

    Id sooo never do that (wink).

    roni

    April 26, 2009

    Maggie – Hmmmm that may require even more years of thought! LOL But honestly, it has crossed my mind. Not sure I’d put it on my list of things to do right now. :)

    roni

    April 26, 2009

    MizFit – LOVE THAT! Will be re-tweeting THAT in the near future. LOL

    Lou

    April 26, 2009

    Roni,

    I say this all the time, but it is just so true, I see so much of me in you. I feel I am being over repetitive but every time I read one of your posts it hits me inside. I don’t know how or why but you connect with all of us who read your blog. And this issue is no different.

    We all suffer from F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real ). I volunteered to be an official Momentum Walk-It Challenge Trainer. After I did and was accepted, I stepped back from myself and said, “who am I to be training anyone”. What qualified me to do this? Who qualified me? I DID! I said, “if I can do it, I can show someone how to do it too”. So if you want to write a cookbook GO DO IT! I am not Italian, but if this is your passion, “go throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks”. If you put the energy into anything you have a passion for, you will find that it will be your next best Opus to your family.

    Oh an by the way, Ray Bradbury is my second favorite author, next to Issac Asimov. Live long and prosper Roni. (sorry, I am getting a bit weak and the Trekker in me is showing).

    Lou

    Renée

    April 26, 2009

    Wow! I just found your blog a few days ago through Live Well 360 and you are truly motivating! That is an AWESOME quote. I am also an over thinker and that is something I need to put on a note and tape to my monitor or something like that… Thanks for sharing your story.

    Kim

    April 26, 2009

    Roni,
    I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now. I have it on my favorites and read it every day. This post reminds me so much of the way I feel about myself. The funny thing is that when I read your blog I am always envious of you and all that you are bold enough to do and accomplish. You seem like such a confident and strong person, and I would never attribute these feelings to someone like you. It is VERY refreshing to know that someone I admire for their accomplishments has the same struggles with confidence that I do. It inspires me to be a better person…to try new things…..to STOP thinking and just do!! I love your blog and I love, love, love your transparency. Just so you know….I would buy your book. Thanks for all that you do.
    Kim

    amy

    April 26, 2009

    Roni~
    keep going on the cookbook!!!!! I can’t tell you how many times I bring my computer into the kitchen and pull up green light bite recipes to make for dinner- i literally have to avoid splattering food on the laptop! MAKE THE COOKBOOK!!! I will buy it immediately!

    ;)Amy

    Rollercoaster

    April 26, 2009

    I recently had a great conversation about mediocrity. We are always striving to be the best at things. But is that realistic? Maybe we can just set our sights on mediocrity and be okay with that. Maybe then we can just enjoy the things we love to the fullest without putting the pressure on ourselves to be the BEST. There is nothing wrong with being pretty good at something.

    Roni, your recipes are wonderful! You create new things and put a spin on old recipes, to me that takes courage and risk! I admire so much of what you have done and I agree with Kim, you seem pretty awesome from the peanut gallery!

    I challenge everyone here (including myself) to pick out three things that I am constantly striving to be the best at, and just decide to be mediocre. See how it feels…

    Adi (oatonomy.com)

    April 26, 2009

    I love this!
    I think I have the opposite problem them… I don’t think things through ENOUGH! That brings with it a whole other bag of problems ;)
    Have a great Sunday, Roni.

    Adi (oatonomy.com)

    April 26, 2009

    And by “them” I meant “though”. … cleary I’m tired!

    Sandy

    April 26, 2009

    I really need to write down this part of a response – It’s only by facing your fears and moving forward anyway that we move beyond our limting beliefs. Wow do I need to remember that when I say “I can’t.” Is it that I can’t or that I’m afraid of not being good enough. Right now I am undecided about going to my son’s fiancee’s bridal shower because I am way of out of my league socially in this group. That is just being too self centered. I’m not the star of this show and no one is going to pay any attention to me so it doesn’t matter who I am. I refuse to be limited by who I already am or I will never be anything more.

    jamie

    April 27, 2009

    This post is a great insight that I’m sure many of us can relate to.

    Kim

    April 27, 2009

    Hi Roni!

    I just wanted to tell you that I am super excited about your cookbook! I think your recipes on GreenLiteBites are so good and I’m always impressed on how you create these awesome meals! I will definitely be buying your cookbook as soon as it comes out..I’m always looking up your recipes and it would be so nice to have it all in the cookbook to look at! :) Keep up the great work!!!

    Meream

    April 28, 2009

    Another over-analyzer here. I’m trying to change and just do and be.

    Suzie

    April 28, 2009

    I love this post!!! That’s all, I love it and now I’m going to think about how it applies to my dissertation writing and my procrastination.

    Thank you!