I’m the first to admit it. I’m an over analyzer. I worry about making decisions. I talk myself out of doing things. I OVER THINK.
I’ll give you an example… The Cook Book.
You know why it’s taken me so long? Sure I had some set backs but to be honest, I’m subconsciously procrastinating. Why? Because I don’t think I’m good enough. I don’t think I have the experience or, and this is going to sound weird, the "right" to produce a cook book. Who am I? I’m not a chef. I’m not a writer. I’m just a mom who cooks for her family. Sure I post my ideas on GreenLiteBites but that’s different. That’s me simply sharing what I cooked on my blog. Plus who’s going to buy a book of recipes they’ve already seen. I don’t have time to come up with new ideas. I barely have time to post what I do now. And my pictures? My pictures aren’t good enough for print. I’m not a photographer. No publisher will over look at me. I’m not an author, nor chef, nor photographer. I’m just a web girl. I should stick with what I know and even that I’m not sure about!
I’ve been having those thoughts for months. No… YEARS. Am I over thinking? Yup. It’s a self-conscious confidence thing I have always struggled with. I simple think I’m not good enough. Just like I thought I wasn’t thin enough. Thin enough to wear a bathing suit. Thin enough to dance. Thin enough to play sports. Thin enough to simply enjoy life.
See, over THINKING is and was always my problem. Then today I saw this…
“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.” -Ray Bradbury
LOVE it! And it’s SO true, anything self-conscious IS lousy! I’ve always been self-conscious and I still am. Losing the weight didn’t cure me like I thought it would. If anything becoming a mom gave me a small burst of confidence. Nursing gave me another one. Blogging still another. Honestly, I feel every accomplishment I’ve made over the last 4 years, including achieving my weight loss goal, starting to run and completing my pull up, have been exercises on my quest to find confidence. I haven’t reached the end of that journey but every day I get a little bit closer.