I am here to announce it to the world. You ready?
Oh my God I can’t believe I’m about to say it…
I LOVE working out!
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT
WOW, it feels great to say that out loud. Remember my Question of the Week about our real fears? There was a quote someone shared with me that stated we aren’t afraid to fail we are actually afraid to succeed. Afraid to be good at something. Well I have to admit I think I’ve been afraid to embrace my new found love of fitness. Not because I don’t like it, or that I’m not good enough to do it but because it is so different then who I used to be.
I convinced myself for so long that I was not athletic. That I didn’t like the gym or working out. I made fun of gym rats, calling people who exercised on vacation insane. I really thought I just wasn’t built for exercise. Then S.L.O.W.L.Y. things started to change. Here’s a little recap of my progression of the last 3-4 years….
- If you look at my oldest archives (2005-2006) I never mention exercise word as I wasn’t really exercising. However you can see in old comments that people were curious.
- Then October 10, 2006 I recognize the need for more structured workouts. That’s over 6 months after I reached my goal weight.
- December 31, 2006 I finally answered the workout question. Didn’t I have anything better to do on New Year’s Eve??? :~P
- By July of the next year I was "Thinking About… IT". Is it bad that I crack my self up? ;~P LOL
- Even though I was still finding ways to NOT to go the gym.
- Within 2 months I was calling myself a Gym Rat!
- By November 2007 I was starting to really notice changes in my body from working out and I talk about my stamina increasing.
- In March 2008 I started running and I shocked myself with my new love of long workouts.
- Unbelievably, by April people were asking me about Exercise Motivation. ME?!?
- June, I ran my first ever 5k race!
- In August I proclaim my love for Weight Training and dispeled some myths.
- Then I ran in the Baltimore Marathon as relay runner (6 miles) my longest run to that point ever.
- Then I started reaching other fitness goals like my pull up.
- And of course, most of you know of my recent 10 miler! Not to mention all of my training runs like my first 7 miles and 8, and 9!
Now… I’m embracing my new hobby. And that’s really what it is, a hobby. I enjoy it. It’s an outlet. It can be social yet solitary. I can measure my success by weight lifted, miles ran, time, even muscle tone. Not to mention it has health benefits and makes me feel fantastic!
Writing this is a big step for me even though it may not seem like it on the surface. Declaring my love of fitness is my way of silencing that negative voice I’ve had in my head for so long. The one that’s afraid to embrace these changes because I fear being rejected. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? But it’s true. There is a part of me that fears being one of those fitness fanatics that I used to make fun of. The ones that inadvertently, through no fault of their own, made me feel bad about myself. I just don’t want to do that to others. Actually that is what I’m really afraid of, making others feel bad or having them resent me for being thin and active. Kind of stupid since I blog for a living.. huh? Actually just kind of a dumb reason overall not to do or be the best person I can be. Isn’t it?
Can you tell I’ve been struggling with this for some time? My friend, the trainer, tells me I think too much and you know what, he’s right. He’s been trying to convince me to start training for fitness competitions. When he first mentioned it I had to fight every instinct not to laugh in his face. I believe my exact quote was "Who? me? Are you freakin’ serious. I can’t even walk on a beach in a bathing suit with confidence no matter what my size is."
Then he asked me again. And again. And I started to question why is it that this person sees something in me that I can’t. Does he have more confidence in me then me? What the heck am I so afraid of? Is it that I am actually "fit" enough to do it and not the other way around?
Ok, my brain hurts. I’m over thinking. :) Let me just say there are no competitions in my future but I am upping my training routine which is the inspiration for this post. I love the thought of "training". I’ve been enjoying doing it for the races and now I want to take my weight lifting to a new level.
I updated my workout progress page and my training calender. I am still working towards my ultimate goal of the Baltimore Marathon but I want to ease back a bit on running to give my knees a break. Here’s my weekly goals/schedule…
- Sunday – Long Run day – increasing in mileage as I work my way up to the 1/2 and full marathons.
- Monday – Weight Training (Chest/Back)
- Tuesday – 2-4 mile run and/or sprints paying attention to my knee and reducing distance when I need to
- Wednesday – AM Weight Training (Legs) – PM 20 minutes on bike + yoga to help stretching
- Thursday – Workout with "the girls" (trainers other clients we have fun together- Chest/Back/sholders) and a short run and/or sprints
- Friday – Weight Training (Biceps/Triceps/abs)
- Saturday – Off
Now here’s the kicker. I’m weight training at 5:30 AM. Just typing it out makes me nod my head in disbelief. lol Not because I can’t or don’t want to do it. But because it’s what I always wanted to do but I wasn’t ready until now. I’m tried of staying up late to get my work done only to piddle my morning away after getting woken up by the toddler. Instead I’m giving the early morning workout a chance. I did it Monday and I have to admit, it was nice AFTER the initial getting out of bed thing. There was no traffic, I got a great parking spot and the gym was dead. When I got home the toddler was up and ready for breakfast and so was I. We had a very productive morning and I was exhausted by 10 PM, went to bed with out any late night snacking!! So even though it may hard to transition to this new schedule I know it will be worth it. You know the old adage… "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise." Let’s just see how true it is. :)
With this new training schedule comes a tweak to my diet. I’m making an effort to incorporate more protein and up my intake of fruits and veggies. Snacking on more nuts, seeds and yes, even buying protein powder! :) Even though points don’t mean much to me at this point I started tracking them again, at least for the time being. I wanted a bit of accountability after my candy filled weekend. Plus I’m really curious how many points my new training schedule will allow me to eat. I’m tracking not to limit myself but as a way to keep some statistics about my intake. I really think in points, not calories anymore.
So here’s today menu. I need to get to bed. I have an early morning ahead of me!
|3 egg white omelet with diced onion and peppers||1|
|1/2 cup grape nuts, 4oz light chocolate soy milk, small banana||6|
|at panera having a bowl of black bean soup and 1/2 asian chicken salad dressing on the side with whole grain bread -estimate||8|
|1oz of almonds – yes i weighed! :)||4|
|peppered pork and peppers over brown rice – recipe coming soon!! estimate for now||6|
|light chocolate soy milk||2|
Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.