Not goal weight.. I already asked that. :~)
This week’s question is totally inspired by my trainer. After a fabulous workout this morning we had a little chat about my running, my physique and my goals. For so long my goal was to lose weight. To get thin. To be "the skinny girl". Now that I’m there and have been for quite awhile I’m STILL coming to terms with the fact that I’m not trying to lose weight anymore. It was such a large part of me for so long I almost don’t know how to live without it. I feel kind of like Brooks in Shawshank Redemption. Once he was released from prison after so many years he didn’t know how to live on "the outside."
Now don’t worry, I have no plans on hanging myself anytime soon but the feeling is similar. Change is always hard no matter what it is. And the longer you do or eat or live a certain way the harder it is to make that change. I think we all know this.
So his question floored me a bit. I had to stop myself from saying "to lose weight" and to really think about what my actual goals are. I do have my runs listed on my goals page but now that I’m thinking about it, they seem more like milestones then goals. Semantics? Maybe. I’m not sure.
All this made me think that maybe my actual weight loss may also have been just a step towards my actual goal. But what was/is that goal? That’s what I’ve been contemplating all day!
I’m not kidding.. these things eat at me… that’s why I write. :)
The more and more I think about it, my goal was to get healthier for the toddler. Well of course he wasn’t "the toddler" back then but you know what I mean. :~)
My goal was to be "the fun" mom. I didn’t want to let my body image get in the way of enjoying time with him. I wanted to frolic on the beach, play football, wrestle, dance and climb rock walls. How could I do that if I couldn’t even wear a pair of shorts on a hot day without worrying about how I looked? No, that wasn’t acceptable. I needed to get over it.
That was my REAL goal when I started this site and the journey I’m on. I may be manipulating words by using "milestone" and "goals" but I hope you understand what I’m trying to express. I’m not saying the weight loss wasn’t something I still wanted but I really think by having this new dimension to why I wanted it made a HUGE difference.
So take weight loss off the table. Think of it as a byproduct to your ACTUAL goal. That’s what I’m curious about. That’s what I want you to answer this week. So…. What IS your ACTUAL goal?