One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

ASK RONI Q&A

Ask Roni _v21s3 – A Vegetable Hater, Loving Yourself, What I Find Hard

16 Comments 1468 views

I wasn’t going to post this as my babble is at 100% in the beginning, I lose it and get way too emotional in the middle and the toddler interrupts at the end. It’s pretty much a train wreck. But the questions are SOOO good I had to share.

Topics in this video include…

  • Advice for a Vegetable Hater
  • How do you start to Love yourself
  • What do I find hardest? — Interrupted by the toddler


Podcast Version (Audio Only)
[podcast]http://RonisWeigh.com/resources/podcasts/AskRoni_v21s3.mp3[/podcast]

Links mentioned or that you may be interested in…




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Discussion

There are 16 comments so far.

    Jacquie

    March 16, 2009

    Some people who hate the taste of vegies may be low in zinc so the vegie hater could try taking a zinc suppliment for a month or 2 and seeing if her tastes don’t change somewhat.

    roni

    March 16, 2009

    Jacquie – That’s fascinating! Never heard that before here’s an article about zinc and taste… http://bastyrcenter.org/content/view/980/&page=

    Jacquie

    March 16, 2009

    I read a lot about health and have become more and more convinced that what we think is a lack of willpower or being a big baby is actually a physical and chemical barrier we need to overcome. The body is so complex and I have infinate respect for people who have or are trying to overcome their weight problems.

    Including myself :)

    Nina

    March 17, 2009

    1. Veggies: CHEAT! :) If you like e.g. Spaghetti Bolognese, put in some small carrot cubes and peas. You will have more sauce and it won’t taste that much like veggie. Find ideas like that.

    2. Roni, it’s ok to get emotional about this, most of us have been there. :) I find loving myself hard, too, but not as hard as I found it a few years earlier. I came to a point at which I couldn’t hate myself more and feel empty, and I asked myself, “Is this what I want for the one life I have? What good does it do to me or others?”.

    1) And I started to look at just one positive thing like e.g. cooking, which I love and at which I am quite good. And then at one good thing about my body. And then even at some weaknesses which weren’t too bad because you have to love your weak parts, too. What gripped me in the end was that by loving myself I will have more energy for my life and therefore for the people I love in the long run.

    My favourite example for this is a fireman: first rule for a fireman is, “FIRST protect yourself, THEN others.” This is important because running into a burning house without protection might not help anyone and the fireman might be among the victims in the end instead of being able to continue his job the next day because other people need him.

    2) Another thing: really get out of your comfort zone, especially by talking to people you love. I always talk to my friends and they tell me about their situation, and I realize that I am not the only one with problems, and that loving yourself means loving the whole package.

    3) Don’t expect too much! Loving yourself does not mean to be exhiliarated and mesmerized by yourself everyday. It means being your best friend and the person who cares about yourself most every single day. You should be able to trust yourself most, too. (Now I am getting sappy because I remember the moment when this became clear to me.)

    4) Eat well and do healthy things, and you will feel better about your body and yourself. Good eating really influences the way we feel about ourselves.

    5) Read more stories about people who love themselves and have overcome their fears. This always gets me out of my hole.

    I still find it hard and I put myself under a lot of pressure because I always want to be perfect. But I am getting better at it. It is an everday training like weight-loss or building muscle tissue.

    Lots of love!
    Nina

    Laura

    March 17, 2009

    Roni, I know you think this video is a train wreck, but I think this might be my favorite video thus far! Your openness and vulnerability are so refreshing! I also love the toddler interuption – it feels like ‘real’ life!!!

    I also totally agree about the all-or-nothing phenomenon that most of us fight when it comes to living a healthy life. This has been the number one aspect that I have been working on and I feel like I have made a lot of progress! It really is a shift in mindset and I truly believe that moderation is the key!

    Thanks again for posting another great video!

    Jessica

    March 17, 2009

    There was nothing resembling a train wreck! Nothing blew up, power didn’t go out, no one threw up. It was great!

    I totally feel the all or nothing! It seems to run my life sometimes. I have been better about it, but it still seems to reign. It mostly depends on what’s available (pizza, cookies, Doritos). I need to concentrate on slowing down and tasting my food. I don’t NEED to feel so full that I can’t move. ( Exceptions would be Thanksgiving. I may get flak over that, but that’s how I roll :) )

    The “self image” bit also hit home. I, however,have a backward view of myself. I don’t “feel” as fat as I look. Until I see a picture. UGH! Talk about motivation. I look in the mirror, and I see the picture and I don’t think they match up. I wonder if I will ever get to a “matching” point. Well, we will just see! I LOVE Nina’s reference to the firefighter. (I have to. I married one and I am one ) It is absolutely right! Great job! I have to thank you again for making this all possible, with the blogs and everything.I’m sure you hear this a hundred times a day, but THANKS!

    AlliJag

    March 17, 2009

    LOL – I love how you go “where are you” (as you are trying to find Ryan with the camera) – and he’s like “I’m right here” – in the DUH mommy – can’t you see me – sort of voice! Made me smile :)

    laurieann

    March 17, 2009

    I have been struggling with loving myself for 14 years now. Weight is just weight. If I can’t love myself fat then surely I won’t love myself just because I’m skinny. I need to work on the inner package before the outer package. Does any of this make sense to anyone else? Anyways- I totally relate to how emotional you got about this. I get the same way.

    Maria

    March 17, 2009

    Roni – as always you are terrific!!! Don’t apologize for getting emotional – those emotional moments and personal stories and experience are what really hit home for me and bring tears to my eyes. I am always inspired by you and will make my focus this week to “get out of my comfort zone”. Thanks for being here Roni!

    Bonnie

    March 18, 2009

    Jessica–I know what you mean about the mirror/picture thing. It’s always been that way for me too. Both when I was overweight and I didn’t “feel” that fat, and for some reason, in my “own” mirrors anyway, I could look in them and fool myself. But if someone took a picture of me, I ALWAYS looked fatter than I felt. And another thing, when I looked in a “strange” mirror (which is any mirror not in my own house that I was used to looking at myself in), I could see the same thing, basically, that I saw in the photo.

    And now that I’ve lost 95 pounds, I have the opposite problem, nearly. Sometimes I’ll see myself in a picture or a strange mirror, and I’m shocked that that’s me! Whoa…..I look like THAT now??? I don’t FEEL that much different. Although, actually, I DO feel different…a LOT different. I feel 20 years younger (I’m 53…until next Wednesday anyway), and fabulous. And at my age, what I feel like is so much more important to me than what I look like….although that’s a fringe benefit.

    McLauren84

    March 18, 2009

    Hi Roni! Great stuff! I’m so grateful you’re willing to be so open with us about the issues you’ve struggled. I know so many of us have struggled with the same issues. Your stretch pants and maternity top story reminded me of a time when I was supposed to go out with friends and I realized I didn’t have a single pair of jeans that fit. I knew all my cute, thin friends would look fantastic and I would feel terrible about myself all night. I pull on some jeans so tight that I couldn’t even button them and thought they might burst. I wore my boyfriend’s oversized sweatshirt to hide everything. I was so miserable and embarrassed the whole night. I still have a ways to go, but thankfully the days of nothing fitting are safely behind me!

    I like how you touched on the “What the Hell” complex. I already ate the cheeseburger, so what the hell, I might as eat the large fries. I heard an interested analogy from Jillian Michaels along these lines. She said something like, “If you had a flat tire, you wouldn’t give up and slash the other three. You’d fix the problem and move on. Just because you have one small set back with your diet or exercise doesn’t mean you have to sabotage everything.”

    Thanks as always for your inspiration! Again, your openness means so much to me.

    Christine

    March 18, 2009

    Roni

    I love this. I too teared up because we I had these feelings too.

    Wearing baggy clothes and being overweight I was just some “fat chick” and I was invisible. When I asked for help at a department store I was ignored. Now when I ask for help (it seems in my little mind) people are more willing to help a person who is a more accetable weight.

    It was also easy for me to hide being a woman and not getting “unwanted male attention”. I am happily married and feel very uncomfortable with men giving me the, “How you doin’?” look. I also have my body issues. ;0) I am working on it and I am making progress! Thank you for the insipring post. I love how you put yourself out there and are fearless (to me)!!!

    McLauren84

    March 18, 2009

    Christine, I know exactly how you feel with the “unwanted male attention.” Even when I was single, I was incredibly uncomfortable with guys trying to flirt with me. I think it’s because I never think I’m pretty, so I always assume they must be making fun of me or something. It’s a self confidence issue. I don’t believe I’m attractive, so why would anyone else? That’s why I fight with my boyfriend when he tells me how pretty I am or how good I look. When he tries to touch my stomach, I flip out and get mad at him, even though I know he loves every inch of me.

    Like so many things, it’s something we have to work on! :D

    Christine

    March 18, 2009

    McLauren84

    Totally agree… My special area is my chin. If my hubby touches it I used to freak out. Now, I freak out in my head and say, “Hunny please don’t do that it pisses me off”. (with a smile on my face) So we laugh because he forgets. I think he is just showing affection and teasing me but I am trying.

    I am working on self-love every day.

    Julie

    March 18, 2009

    Roni, although I check in on your blog often this is the first video I’ve watched. And I’m hooked! I was feeling a little lonely tonight, and when I’m lonely I have a HUGE tendency to eat, so having this on while I cut up veggies in the kitchen was just what I needed. Please keep it up!

    Christine (2)

    March 19, 2009

    Just wanted to say you are beautiful! Thanks for the emotional bit. I am with what Maria commented. Totally going to try to get out of my comfort zone a bit more this week! Thanks for your great example!