One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

A Sensational Sunday Run Recap

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This morning was like most mornings. I woke up with a few minutes to myself before the toddler would come downstairs and demand a "snack" (he has issues with calling it breakfast for some reason.) In those few minutes I hop on the computer, check me email and make sure all my sites are up and running.

Most mornings, without fail, I get sucked into a conversation on twitter or reconnect with an old friend on facebook. Then, before I know it, hours have gone by and my morning is shot. It’s a pattern I find myself in often but I’ve been making an effort to get a better start. So this morning, with a 9 mile scheduled run hanging over my head and a house showing at noon I knew I needed to get moving. Even though I really had NO desire to leave the house on this gloomy Sunday Morning.

So I gave myself a little pep talk, threw on my running clothes and got in the car. I decided to hit a local trail that’s about 7 miles one way (at least that’s what I thought, more on that later.) That would give me more then enough room to run out 4.5 miles turn around and head back. Perfect! This "turn around" approach is really the only way I can mentally do a run over 2-3 miles.

The 15 minute drive there was a complete mind game. I gave myself every excuse to turn around and go home…

  • It’s way to foggy to run.
  • Looks like rain!
  • It’s getting late, I should have left a half an hour ago.
  • I have my 10 mile race next week, maybe I shouldn’t run so long so close.
  • I could just pick up donuts and surprise the husband!

…but I kept driving towards my destination. It was as if I gave my brain permission to find excuses but I wouldn’t let me body actually act on them.

When I arrived there was only one other car just parking. A couple walking their 2 black labs. I hoped out of the car, stretched a bit, put my key in my sports bra, set 9.00 miles on the Nike+ and hit the trail.

Thankfully it starts on a nice downhill slope. That always motivates me when I’m about to run. I passed the couple, waving high and kept on jogging. The weather might have been yucky but the temperature was perfect. I was wearing short sleeves and had a bit of a chill but I knew by the end of the first mile I’d be perfect.

That first mile actually snuck up on me quickly (that’s the benefit of a the first 1/4 mile being downhill) and I felt great. I passed a few other runners going in the other direction and gave them a smile. I started contemplating the camaraderie I felt with these total strangers. I wondered how long they’ve been running. What mile are they on? Have they always been active or are they recent converts like I me?

Around the 2-2.5 mile I noticed it was raining. When did it start? I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even notice. For some reason running in the rain gave me an even bigger sense of accomplishment. I felt like an athlete with an unstoppable drive and motivation.

Once I heard the 3 mile notification I was getting really excited. Only 1.5 miles left to the half way point. For me, once I hit that point the run is mentally over. I mean I HAVE to get back to the car. I have no choice now. The hardest part is done.

Well, today I hit a snag before the half way mark. The trail ended! Apparently it’s not 7 miles one way, it’s 7 miles TOTAL! I had a hint of disappointed but then I realized it’s not that big of a deal. I just kept running! Off trail, into the city and on the side walk. I didn’t want to travel too far, as I didn’t know the area too well, so I did a few laps around the block.

Almost exactly at the 4.5 mile notification I spotted a Robin Redbreast giving herself a bath in a puddle on the sidewalk. It made me so happy I smiled and laughed out loud. I was overcome with just a sense of happiness at that moment. Here I was out and about, running miles away from home, miles away from where I started. I felt good, great even. Not winded, not tired just moving forward. And I’m seeing things I would normally not be seeing, or even noticing. All because I just got out the door. If I didn’t what would I be doing right now? Fiddling on the internet? Watching TV?

This is SO much better.

At this point I headed back to the trail. I had a feeling I’d be just a little short of my 9 mile mark when I got to the other end but I new there was a short spur I could take to add another 1/4 mile so I wasn’t worried. The trip back started great. I was on the mental high of knowing I was passed the half way mark. I started passing landmarks I set in my head. I even started passing the same runners who must have turned around themselves and were now making their trips back. I smiled again at each of them. One women in particular smiled back and when I passed her a second time we both laughed out loud. It was nice. :)

Around mile 6 I was really starting to feel fatigued. Mile 7 my knees were aching. Once I hit mile 8 my normal sense of excitement that I only had a mile to go was cut short when I realized the trail was going to end before I was suppose to. This sucked! There was NO way I wasn’t going to finish the full 9 miles. I mean I already made it this far, right??

Of course the end of the trail was all uphill. Once I got to the top I was .54 miles short of my goal. SO what do I do?

Laps in the parking lot! That’s right, I did laps. And when I heard that little voice in my ear say 400 meters remaining I was FREAKIN ECSTATIC! I kicked it up a notch…. 300 meters reaming…. 200 meters reaming… Just before she said 100 meters… I said "COME ON!" and then it was over. The most beautiful words I ever heard coming out of my iPod… "Congratulations. You have reached your goals of 9 miles." Then Lance Armstrong chimed in to let me know I just ran my longest run yet. To which I responded… "That’s it? That’s all you got for me Lance? I just ran 9 FREAKIN’ miles, ALONE! Don’t I get a prize or something?" lol

Needless to say I felt fantastic. I really can’t describe the sense of accomplishment, of pride, of awe-ness, I felt. Why haven’t I always been active? I mean I apparently have the ability. My body isn’t broken in anyway. I’m lucky to have my legs. My health. Why did it take me this long to see how great it feels to be fit. To push myself physically and feel the reward of doing so? And I don’t mean the "visual" reward, the weight loss, my size, I mean the "sense of accomplishment" reward. The feeling you get from setting a goal working at it and reaching it. Do I dare say nothing is sweeter?

Once I got home. I walked in the door and the toddler was on the couch. I said "Hi Ryan, I’m home! I just ran 9 miles!" to which he replied enthusiastically… "WOW… that’s great Mommy! REALLY?" Now I know he has NO idea what 9 miles means. All he saw was an active, fit, happy mom feel good about herself and her accomplishment. That’s what he sensed and that’s why he reacted the way he did and that’s all the motivation I need to keep on going.

9 mile run




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Discussion

There are 42 comments so far.

    Jim

    March 29, 2009

    This is completely awesome. It’s exciting to watch you grow like this, and more than a little inspirational.

    Keep it up, miss.

    Amanda

    March 29, 2009

    I love it when Lance talks to me too :P But I do agree, he should do a little jig or something!

    9miles!? I hope I’m there, soon!

    Jaimie

    March 29, 2009

    I loved this recap. I did 10 miles yesterday and afterward (and after every long run I do) I thought how I am so much happier I did the run than just about anything. It’s motivation that seems to be working perfectly for me.

    Krista

    March 29, 2009

    What an inspiring post, Roni! If it wasn’t pushing 11pm, dark, cold and raining, I’d be out the door for a run myself! :)

    Elaine

    March 29, 2009

    The sense of accomplishment is what is most important for me too. Yeah, I started doing it for the weight loss, but now I do it because it makes me feel super strong. When faced with non-running dilemmas, I always remember that if I can come this far with my running, I can definitely get whatever I need in life accomplished too.

    BarbK

    March 29, 2009

    I love this play by play. I just finished my Week 3 Day 1 on the C25K program and really tried to talk myself out of going, but at the same time I knew I was going to go and really I wanted to go.

    Thank you for sharing your journey. I can’t believe I’m actually running! You have so much to do with that. You’ve inspired me and I’m sure countless others. I still have tons of weight to lose, but thats ok because I’m getting strong.

    :-)

    Amanda

    March 29, 2009

    This post is so inspiring to me. I’ve never thought of myself as a runner, but still, it’s something I really want to be. I started running at the beginning of the month, and finally worked myself up to the 2 mile mark. Now, I have shin splints and have to stop. I’m worried all my hard work is going to go down the drain! I know 2 miles isn’t very far, but to me, this is a huge accomplishment, and I know I can keep adding more and more miles, just like you. It was so nice to read your thought process and for you to take me along with you on a “virtual run”. Thank you so much.

    Priyanka

    March 30, 2009

    That is one inspiring post! I have recently started taking fitness seriously and it feels great to be a little mean to your body. i mean each time I try and push myself harder, the result is that I am one happy girl, proud of herself!

    Cindy

    March 30, 2009

    “Why haven’t I always been active?” Here’s my theory (for me anyway!): All through school–even back in kindergarten–activity was all about competition. I was always one of the slow, awkward kids; I couldn’t kick the ball or catch the ball or make the base, so I convinced myself I “wasn’t good at sports.” The ironic part of the thing is that I really liked playing those games, but because I wasn’t “good enough,” I never let myself enjoy the activity. And, kids are cruel. I remember so clearly the jeers of the children when I dropped the ball, etc. Of course, the more I convinced myself I couldn’t, the less I did, and the more awkward I became. Then–adulthood! Just because I felt like it, I started roller skating and roller blading. There was no one there to compare myself to. Little by little, I became stronger. The funny thing? So often, friends or neighbors would stop me and say wistfully, “I wish I was coordinated like you. No way could I do that!” And I’d always say, “Yes, you can!”
    Thanks for the inspiration, Roni, and for reminding all of us that our bodies are miraculous machines meant to move, ALL of our bodies.

    sassyaztec

    March 30, 2009

    I’m so proud of you!! This is awesome! I just got Wii Fit as a bday present, does that count? ;) I have to say, it’s cool that my kids do yoga poses “like mommy” and talk about being healthy. My son chose his bday dinner last night (we’re a week apart) and he wanted homemade nuggets (using your F1 crust) bananas, apples and carrots- “cuz they’re healthy!!” They are like little sponges. Keep up the great work!

    Lisa
    http://sassyaztec.blogspot.com/

    p.s. did you tweet Lance Armstrong?

    Berni

    March 30, 2009

    Wooo hooo Roni!!

    Lauren P

    March 30, 2009

    Congrats! I just did 8 miles in prep for the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler next weekend. I hope the weather is half as good as we had here in DC yesterday.

    I find myself dreading going out on a run and thinking of every reason not to, but loving every minute of it once I get warmed up.

    roni

    March 30, 2009

    Sassy – I didn’t! What a great idea!

    roni

    March 30, 2009

    Lauren – I’ll be there! At the Cherry Blossom! :)

    roni

    March 30, 2009

    Cindy – You are SO right. I was told at a young age I “couldn’t” run people always made fun of my stride. I was tall yet couldn’t play basketball and was made fun of. So I just gre up thinking I wasn’t blessed with the athlete gene.

    Tammy

    March 30, 2009

    Roni, was this the Ma and Pa trail?? That one is a little hilly for me. I might try the NCR trail this Sunday, not sure yet. I am a beginning runner, and weigh 225 pounds at 5’10”, so I’m sure it’ll take me awhile. I wish I could get past the “winded” part — I always feel like I’m breathing so heavily. But your posts really inspire me to TRY!! Thank you!

    Christy

    March 30, 2009

    Woohoo! Congrats! You are totally going to be able to do 10 miles next week. Make sure you have a good playlist loaded for motivation :-)

    deanna

    March 30, 2009

    Roni – GREAT JOB!!!! 9 miles!! YEAH!

    I am training for the a 15 mile run as well, and I do the same exact thing.. as long as I get to the half way mark of my long runs…I am fine – it’s all mental for me. It’s like the last half of the run whether it’s 3, 4, 5 miles is cake once I get to the half way mark… hmmm…

    I have the Nike + but and have not used it yet… I need to hook that up!

    Tanya

    March 30, 2009

    Dammit – I was planning on slacking off this morning and not going to the gym. Now that I have read this – I’m still not going to the gym, but I’m heading outside to run – putting on clothes as we speak. The dammit is for this great inspiring story that helped me get off my butt/ actually off the computer.

    Julie

    March 30, 2009

    That is awesome, you ROCK! I was looking for a little push to get me back on track and I just got it….Thank you!

    Melanie

    March 30, 2009

    Congrats, Roni! You freakin’ ROCK!!

    Melissa

    March 30, 2009

    Love this!

    LG

    March 30, 2009

    NICE WORK! That’s so exciting. I completed a 1/2 marathon in ’06 and I’m still stunned that I could run that far. (Me! Holy cow!)

    Also just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your blog. Have been reading for a few months now and it seems like your approach to eating/weight/self esteem are very sensible. You have a “small changes = big results” instead of “try to lose 6lbs/week” attitude, which is so refreshing. It’s realistic and it works.

    Anyway, you’re a great writer and the site looks nice…thanks for keeping up this blog!

    Nichole

    March 30, 2009

    Roni-
    Great job!!! I had to tell you that my daughter calls breakfast “snack” too! lol

    Carol

    March 30, 2009

    Wow! This was a great post and congrats on your 9 mile run. I’m not a runner (yet), but I read this right after I finished a workout that I hadn’t wanted to do, but did it anyway. You’re so right about the sense of accomplishment that you get from finishing a great workout/run.

    Tina

    March 30, 2009

    That is so awesome! and I’m so proud of you!! It is definitely inspirational to hear how much you love it, and how you used to identify yourself as lazy and now look at you! I identify myself as lazy also, but I’m wanting to get in shape and I’m so glad you put this on the web to let us know it is attainable for even the bookworm that I am. I would love to be athletic and have that athletic look. Thank you for being my inspiration to get moving today.

    Pubsgal

    March 30, 2009

    What a great post, and a great experience! I enjoyed reading this, and I can so relate to your question: “Why did it take me this long to see how great it feels to be fit. To push myself physically and feel the reward of doing so?” I think I was worried that I’d be too tired from it, where I’ve found that it actually gives me more energy. Who’d have thought?

    Terri

    March 30, 2009

    What an inspiration! I started WW last week (lost 2lbs. so far) and on Week 1, Day 3 in the Couch to 5K program. I really don’t like to run and was making excuses not to go today, but after reading your post, I’m all pumped to go! Thanks!

    Oh, I love your website, too, thank you!

    Terri

    Krista S.

    March 30, 2009

    Dude, that’s a long run! Congrats, Roni. You’re doing awesome.

    Alisha

    March 30, 2009

    almost 1000 CALORIES BURNED…..holy schmaholy!! GREAT WORK!

    Cyndi

    March 30, 2009

    Delurking to say this is really a great post! I ran my first 7 miler a week ago, and this recap is almost word for work how I was feeling before, during and after my run! I had a little break this weekend, but next weekend I’m up for 8 miles and I am actually looking forward to it! Like…GIDDY with excitement because I KNOW how good it’s going to ‘hurt’ ha ha….

    Running has become for me so much more than losing weight …

    Jac

    March 30, 2009

    That’s too sweet how the Toddler responded!! Absolutely adorable! It’s neat how all they see is our enthusiasm; our health. We really must lead by example.

    Congrats to you for a 9 mile run! (Gosh, I hope to be to that point someday!)

    Amanda

    March 30, 2009

    Great job! This is really inspiring.

    Meg

    March 30, 2009

    Wow what an amazing post! I was completley engrossed in reading that. It was truly inspiring. Congrats!!!!

    Tish

    March 30, 2009

    Good for you Roni! I ran 9 miles this weekend, too–and also heard from Lance. It’s exhilarating, isn’t it.

    Christie

    March 30, 2009

    This is why I work out! That feeling that “OMG I just did that?! Why have I never attempted this before?” Really inspiring post, Roni. Outstanding job running 9 miles. I have been reading long enough to remember when you didn’t work out at all and I have to say I am in awe of you right now. Great job!

    Tabitha915

    March 30, 2009

    Great job, Roni! I didn’t realize the Nike+ talked to you! That’s pretty cool! I had a ten mile run scheduled for Sunday but didn’t know where to run it at and my toddler has been battling a stomach bug for the last two weeks so I made an excuse not to go. Reading this makes me want to go all the way next week! I did five miles Saturday and that did make me feel great! Why not keep that going on Sunday!?? Thanks for the motivation! You’re doing awesome!

    Adi (oatonomy.com)

    March 30, 2009

    Roni, you rock. Seriously.

    Sara

    March 30, 2009

    That is so great, Roni! Congrats on a successful run :) Something about running in the rain really makes me feel like a hard-core athlete, too :)

    Mel

    March 31, 2009

    You rock!! Definitely prize worthy. You have been such an inspiration to me and my running progress. Although my 5K is nowhere near as awesome as your 9 mile run. Way to go and keep it up!!

    roni

    March 31, 2009

    Mel – Do NOT sell yourself short! You are doing awesome!! YOU rock! :)

    Kristina

    April 1, 2009

    I LOVED that post! When i was reading I pictured myself and all of those happy ‘bird’ and smiling moments! I was thinking..hmm, i should do this! Why am I stuck in the “It will take me too long to get there” phase? Anyway, Way to go, that is so very awesome! The post caught my attention as soon as i read that your son has ‘issues’ with calling meals “breakfast’ instead of snack…so does my 2 1/2 year old! She will say “No, I don’t want Breakfast!!! I want a snack!!” So I just tell her she can call it a snack if she wants :)