I just got back from a 6 mile run myself! I’m also starting to feel like an athlete for the first time in my life – it’s a simple thing but it makes such a difference. Looking fat in workout clothes also prevented me from doing sports when I was a child. I stopped doing gymnastics for that reason, when I was 11 even though I loved it. In fact I liked a lot of sports but I always worried how I looked so I didn’t do much. Just the thought of having to take of my clothes in front of others in the changing rooms prevented me from doing team sports – sad. I lost some weight (but not in a particular healthy way) in my early teens and was in pretty good shape for a while, but even then I didn’t think of myself as an athlete. I guess I’ve always thought of athletes as a certain “type”. I’ve never really projected that I was athlete either. I remember once in gym class in high school we did a lot of fitness level tests and I turned out to be one of the fittest in my class to everyone’s big surprise. With my long red henna died hair and grungy look I didn’t exactly scream athlete.

Later I regained all the weight and then some more – the classic tale. When I started taking up running again last summer I went out and bought all the right gear for the first time. Not just the shoes, but the tights, the shirt, the socks etc. At first it was for comfort but it has the added benefit that when I’m out there running it makes me feel like a member of my own imaginary athlete club. 5 years ago I would rather be dead than caught running in tights, but after I started to view exercise as a source of empowerment rather than punishment my attitude to how I look in workout clothes has changed. I still have a lot to loose and I have no idea what people think, when they see my 207 pound body bouncing on the running tracks. I still have those split seconds where I get self conscious about it, but then I just tell myself I might look fat in my tight running gear but my body can carry me for 9 miles of straight running! It serves me well, it is strong and that is what matters the most.

Good luck with your training – I’m aiming for a half marathon this year!

One of my goals is to run. (I was one of the kids who refused to run the mile in grade school even… so I’ve never even run a mile.) But first I need new shoes. Ok really, what I need is to quit making excuses.