I shocked myself today.
I, Roni, the same girl who couldn’t handle walking 1/2 mile to her classes in college, just got back from a 3.5 mile run, RUN, in the FREEZING cold. Seriously, am I the same women I was 5 years ago? I look down and see a completely different physique. The mirror shows a reflection that looks slightly familiar but just not the same. My hair has grown, my face thinned, the crows are starting to leave their foot prints. My closet is filled with sizes I thought were reserved for "the lucky ones". Even my drawers are stuffed with workout sweats that I do more in then just sleep.
When did this happen?
On my run, with my face numb from the wind and my hands sweaty in a pair of big winter gloves, I started to contemplate. WHAT in the world am I doing? Who am I? Who does this? Didn’t I used to make fun of people like me. The people who workout on vacation. Who wake up and run at the crack of dawn. I thought they were insane. Why would anyone do such things? It’s torture.
I’m not kidding I used to think they were crazy. Now look at me. I bundled up and ran mid-day in 20 degree weather and actually ENJOYED it. Don’t get me wrong, the first mile was SHEAR TORTURE! I almost stopped 5 separate times. I fought the "I can’t do this" thoughts over and over again. But I did it. I just kept doing it. I knew at the end it would be worth it and it was. Right now I feel amazing.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just felt compelled to write and do some self-analysis. I want to remember this feeling so I can go back and read my thoughts next time I’m unmotivated. Sometimes, I swear, I don’t know who I am or where this motivations comes from. I think it’s just inertia.
Have you ever shocked yourself? Anyone want to share so I don’t feel alone in my "who am I" thoughts? :)