One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

QUOTES

Weekend Quote: Fall in Love with the Process

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This weekend’s quote is brought to you by Rebecca‘s Husband. :)

Rebecca was nice enough to leave a comment on the Dietgirl Helps Me Out post. It was in reference to a question about being impatient with weight loss. Hollie asked…

What advice can you give to someone who is antsy about seeing results immediately, and how can they stay motivated to continue living a healthy lifestyle?

Haven’t we all been there? We want immediate results. We want the magic pill. A genie in a bottle to grant our wish of thinness. When we look in the mirror after making good decisions all week and still see the same body staring back at us it’s hard to stay motivated. At that time the big picture seems irrelevant to us. We get impatient and want to feed our unhappiness with a piece of cake or slice of pizza.

Ohhh how I remember those feelings.

But Rebecca’s husband, the genius that he is, has the best response I’ve ever heard…

Baby, if you want to change, you can’t just be in love with the end result, you have to fall in love with the process too.

Oh my.. a truer statement has never been uttered. All of my previous attempts at weight loss were failures because all I focused on was the end result. I just wanted to be thin SO badly. It consumed my thoughts. Made me try drastic things that were, in the end, counterproductive.

You guys know I credit the toddler for my change in lifestyle. One of the reasons, I think, is because I really didn’t focus on being a particular size or shape anymore. It just didn’t seem as important to me as I was nursing that little baby boy. Instead I was now consumed with wanting to learn how to live a healthier life. I wanted to be a good example for him. In a way, having a child distracted me from my desire of thinness and had me focus on the process of healthy.

I know it’s not easy to do when you are unhappy in your skin but this change in focus is one of the most important steps towards your goals. When I figured that out I really did fall in love with it.



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Discussion

There are 26 comments so far.

    Jenn

    January 17, 2009

    I so needed to hear this. Thank you!
    Jenn

    Priyanka

    January 17, 2009

    Wow this statement is so versatile and is potentially applicable to all important facets of our life. I think I can really connect with this quote!

    Chantelle

    January 17, 2009

    Well said. :)

    Kari

    January 17, 2009

    Wow. Just Wow. That was powerful!

    Linda

    January 17, 2009

    Yay Rebecca’s husband!!!

    Geri

    January 17, 2009

    This is so true, Roni, and is one of the reasons that I am a fan of slow, natural weight loss. If we could wake up tomorrow at our goal weights I don’t think we’d stay there very long. The process is time for learning and growing, and is probably why lots of people take a couple of attempts at losing weight before doing it for good – you learn from the process and what you learn equips you for the new, healthy phase in our lives. Thanks Roni, and thanks Rebecca’s husband!

    Hanlie

    January 17, 2009

    Oh yes! I believe that with all my heart and I’ve learned to love the process. I’m in such a good place now – I would be eating this way even if I weren’t fat. Because this is my healthy lifestyle.

    What has happened in my instance is that I’ve become so wrapped up in my new lifestyle and it’s not only taken the pressure off my weight loss, but also off my fertility issues. So now my body is happily losing weight and getting fertile and I’m not fretting.

    Great post and very good advice!

    Shannon in MS

    January 17, 2009

    Fabulous point! My husband is doing this with me, so that helps. We’re also going to book a cruise for November to help keep us motivated! (read ‘threatened with wearing a swimsuit’)

    Rebecca

    January 17, 2009

    Isn’t this such a powerful sentence? It just brought so much perspective to me. My husband is an engineer who graduated from MIT so he is pretty clever and approaches situations with logical thinking. He is flattered and embarrassed to have gotten this attention! I am delighted that we can share it with more people here. Thanks Roni!

    Jen

    January 17, 2009

    I am so much happier when I eat healthy and have self control! Just like little kids need them, limits are healthy and good for everyone. I know I really like the process now because I am not as happy when I am out of control with my eating.

    Joanne

    January 18, 2009

    This is so true. To me, it just goes back to the point that you need to make a life change not just a diet, and in order to stick with something for life, you really need to love it.

    Donna

    January 18, 2009

    I’m there this time — and it was a relief. Once I came to that conclusion, it made the journey part of the process for me – my energy was spent on my day which has helped me stay on track (8lbs in 3 weeks), not on worrying about tomorrow… thanks for sharing and for the confirmation – so true and an important philosphy to live by. He’s a smart man!!

    Sherri

    January 18, 2009

    Nothing could be more true! When I started my weight loss journey in November of 2007 by joining Weight Watchers I told myself that I don’t care how long it takes I’m sticking with this. Even if I lose just 1lb. a month I’ll be happy. I’ve been stuck at 40lbs. down for the last 6 months with 20 lbs. still to go but what’s kept me on this journey is enjoying the process, enjoying the meetings and realizing that as long as I stay the course I will eventually reach my goal. I’ve seen many friends race to their goal and then almost as quickly gain the weight back. I did not want that to be me so I allow myself to mess up and struggle and since I knew from the beginning that this was going to be a long, long journey I don’t let it get me down.

    Sue

    January 18, 2009

    it’s like an ah ha moment!

    Annette

    January 18, 2009

    if there was a magic pill……………how many years I searched!

    The process has taught me so much and I in turn, am teaching my kids so the ugly cycle can stop :)

    Bethany

    January 18, 2009

    Roni, I just joined Blog 2 Lose and I love it. I was skeptical at first, but I was surprised at how soon and often people leave comments and support. Thank you for creating it. I am very excited to get started.

    Michelle

    January 18, 2009

    Words of wisdom definitely!!!

    Abby

    January 19, 2009

    You comment on being good all weekend and still seeing the same body.
    I got divorced 18 months ago, and have since then slowly worked on improving my lifestyle.

    Fortunately, through continuous hard work…the little train that could, I have lost over 30 pounds. This in my 5’2” body is a lot of weight. I still need to drop another 20 to be a BMI 25.

    The point is that, when I look in the mirror, I have to really focus on what I see, to not see the same person that carried the extra 30 lbs. But the reason I have been able to lose the weight is two fold.

    One…I worked on first embracing myself fat. I looked in the mirror and took pictures and embraced what I saw then, I loved me, fat and respected every cottage cheese dimple on my thighs!!!

    Two…this has been and continues to be a very slow, long, process, with lots of ups and downs, with continues struggles, and “successes” and “failures”.
    WHat I have come to appreciate and conclude after all these months, is that unless I die, I will still be here, with or without the weight, I see older women,(i’m 35) who are continuously on diets, not willing or able to accept themselves, and I saw myself on that path. and realized that either I need to accept who I am, and see me for me regardless, or live a life of constant battle with weight loss and weight gain, and fat etc.

    Now, I know that once I accepted myself the battle ended, the struggle ended, and so I was no longer depriving myself when I decided not to have the chocolate, I am more focused on the now, and choose not to have the chocolate, however, it has taken me 18 months to lose 30 lbs. That is on average 2 pounds a month, very slow, very slow, so guess what most of the time, I have said yes to the chocolate, sometimes no, the loss has been slow, but the gain, the strength I have achieved from my journey has been all valuable. I still need to lose 20 lbs. But this is not overwhelming at all. I know it will happen, probably in two years from now, but so what I will be 37 adn 38, and 50 and 60, so either i could lose the weight fast, whcih I could if i so chose to, but then I believe it will coem back because I am not changing my life, I am on a diet. This way, it will take 2 more years, but when I reach my goal, I will already know how to maintain, because I am evolving as I am losing!!

    Love yourself for your choices, that is who we are, not the body in the mirror…that is the outside world looking in, but how you see yourself is key to how much you will appreciate or sabotage you!!!

    Laura

    January 19, 2009

    Thank you so much for this. I get so focused on the end result. If I’m not doing everything it takes to get there, I give up on the process and then I am more miserable than before. I need to remember to enjoy the way I feel right now at this very moment.

    Ami

    January 19, 2009

    Love this quote and I’ve been thinking about it all weekend. I would love to see this as a question of the week. What, specifically, are you loving about the process right now?

    Misti

    April 11, 2010

    This was written over a year ago & I so needed it today! Thank you! Not only has it changed how I’m thinking about my weight loss journey, but it’s changing how I’m thinking about other things. For example, I really like having a clean/uncluttered house, but I really dis-like the cleaning part of the equation. If I can figure out a way to “fall in love with the process” things would be really different around here. You’ve given me a lot to think about.

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