One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

FOOD JOURNALS

Just a Long Recap of My Crazy Emotional Roller Coaster Day

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This morning we were on overdrive. The house needed to be ready for a showing. The toddler and I cooked breakfast (recording ourselves while making banana pancakes) and then cleaned up while the husband shoveled snow. We had a great morning! And my house is spotless! :)

But as we waited for the call from the buyers I started to get worried, depressed, overwhelmed. Thoughts about the house not selling started swimming through my head. Wondering if we made the right decision. You know, all the normal "what did I just do" worries.

Then the call came.

Immediately Excited!

My emotions dropped down again as I found out it was just an agent. Not an actual buyer coming to the house. :( On my way to dropping the toddler off at school and heading to the gym I was glum and for some reason, hungry. Thankfully I had some nuts in the car. Now my thoughts shifted to my weight, training and eating habits. I’m wondering if I’m not eating enough but I don’t want to give myself permission to just go crazy because that’s how "it" starts. I fought the urge to hit a drive thru or buy one of those crazy shakes at the gym.

Now I’m feeling good again. Working out with another one of the trainers clients. We were having a blast! I started thinking about how far I’ve come. I’m very proud of my current fitness level. My trainer calls me "diesel" and it just puts a smile on my face. :) Now my drive home I’m on cloud nine. The workout endorphins are in full effect. I come home and make lunch for the husband and I (note: HE wanted fast food the day AFTER we committed to not eating out. GEESH!)

I then started to get some work done. Prepping the video I recorded earlier and working on the new blog. I finally decided to take a shower (ahhh the joys of working from home) when the phone rang. The toddler got sick at school. Doesn’t it suck when your child is sick? I hate it only because there is nothing I can do for him. So we came home, cuddled on the couch and watched The Backyardigans. We all fell asleep accept for the toddler, of course. He was actually starting to feel better.

Me? I hate taking a nap mid day. I always wake up groggy and pi$$ed that I can’t keep sleeping (unless it’s a day I have no responsibilities, but when does that ever happen?!?)

After nap we were all about dinner. I made some sauce this morning so all I had to do was boil some water for pasta. I love eating dinner as a family so now I’m happy again. Until… I just couldn’t stop eating. I swear I could have eaten a pound of spaghetti myself. I did stop at about 4 oz but boy I was fighting off cravings for bread big time. I just wanted to "dip." Thankfully I didn’t have a loaf of Italian bread or it’d be gone too.

Post dinner we played the Backyardigans Game (sensing a theme?) and a Thomas Matching Game with the toddler. He’s just so much fun at this age! :)

Then the husband took him off to bed. Time for me to get some work done. I get all camped out on the couch with my laptop but ten minutes later we hear a cry. The toddler got sick again. :( Poor guy can’t hold anything down. Now at 8:30 I’m cleaning up puke, and calming down a sick three year old.

We finally get him back to bed and it was time for LOST! Loving it this season. I chatted for a bit on BlogToLose while watching and the toddler needed to be settled a few more times. Once all was calm I was hit by a snack attach. I wasn’t even hungry I just wanted something. Did I stop at one bag of crisps. NOOooooo I went for bag number 2. Now I’m feeling a bit over full and disappointed in myself.

*sigh* This too shall pass. Tonight my goal is bed before 11. So I gotta RUN!

Food Units
whole grain banana pancakes 4
mixed nuts adding and extra pont since i didn’t measure 5
quesadilla w/ leftover chicken, doritos cheese, peppers&baby spinach. side of baked (why did i buy them?!) 10
darn it! how can i be hungry after my lunch?!? i’m going for a yogurt 2
too much pasta and my sauce with 1 sausage 10
2 bags of crisps with salsa 7
Total: 38

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.



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Discussion

There are 9 comments so far.

    Erika

    January 29, 2009

    Sometimes I read your posts like today and I realize that losing all the weight won’t suddenly make me “normal” (whatever that is…). But that it will always be a struggle for me on some days. Probably the same number of day is now, actually. I’ll always have days where I can’t stop eating and days where I feel great and fat days and skinny days…. etc. I just don’t know why I think that if (when) I lose this extra weight that it will suddenly all be resolved and I can just go on with my life and everything will suddenly be perfect. Anyways. I think I just have to redefine “normal”.

    Chantelle

    January 29, 2009

    That could have been a disaster of a day (eating wise) but you really didn’t let it loose. Good on you Roni. x

    MizFit

    January 29, 2009

    **hugs** as this house stuff is so freakin crazystressful.

    and you know it is such a gift to all of us when you share that youre HUMAN :)

    Melanie Thomassian

    January 29, 2009

    Hey Roni,

    This is my very first (shock!) visit to your site. Love it!

    I trust you’re little one gets better soon too.

    Brandi

    January 29, 2009

    You are right, this too shall pass :)

    Sometimes life just gets out of control and your body follows suit and decides it wants more.

    Today focus on being stress free (haha I know) and really just let the happiness happen. There’s so much to look forward to with all these great things in your life. It’d be a shame to let the roller coaster steal another day from you!

    You can do it :)

    Lisa

    January 29, 2009

    Roni – Selling your house is stressful. Its a huge change in your life. Realize that you are going to have lots of stressful days and food always seems like it will help. As long as you keep your head and stay in control, you will be fine. And keep working out, no matter how little time you think you have. Good luck.

    Charlie Hills

    January 29, 2009

    I went to work yesterday. Then stayed there. Stayed there… Stayed there….

    I think I’ll do it again today.

    Krista S.

    January 29, 2009

    Depending upon how many extra calories you are burning with your new training schedule, you very well may not be eating enough. For me, the day of a hard workout, I’m not very hungry, but the day after, oh boy…I probably eat about 300 more calories than on non-workout days. I’m still keeping my calorie deficit between 500-1000 cals per day which amounts to roughly a 1-2 pound loss a week. If you’re trying to maintain, then I think you’re supposed to be eating back the calories you burn off, from what I’ve read anyway. Not sure, WW might be totally different. =) I hope Ryan feels better soon. (((hugs)))

    Christy

    January 30, 2009

    I agree with Krista up above…you might not be getting enough calories these days, Ms Diesel…lol.

    So did anyone come to look at the house today? I wish you the best of luck on selling. I love the kitchen..people would be stupid not to want to move it it.