Sometimes a question comes through AskRoni that I must respond to immediatly.
Hi Roni. I love you (and your site) you seem so happy and positive. You’ll probably think I don’t really deserve to send you a question. I haven’t lost an amazing amount like you and the others Ive read comments from. But I am unhappy with my weight. Im 18 and I weigh 140 pounds. But I’m 5’3" so my BMI is unhealthy and it doesn’t suit me. And Im not pretty so it especially doesn’t look good. I want to lose 20 pounds to get my bmi a bit lower and to look better. I have replaced my lunch (what used to be a big meal) with salad and stopped snacking. I have been doing this for a month and going to the gym and I have only lost about 4 pounds! And I look exactly the same. I’m finding it hard to stay motivated. I used to get a thrill out of knowing I’m being healthier but this is gradually being replaced by desperation. Why is it taking so long? Thank you xx
I had to answer you right away. Your email scares me, not because you haven’t lose weight but because you are so hard on yourself. I can feel your discontent with your body and I just wanted to reach out and give you a big virtual hug.
Now. Chin up girl! I can’t answer why it’s taking so long. I wish I could. Our bodies are funny funny things and I just don’t have all the answers. That being said I want, I need, to share a comment with you that was left on the Fall in Love with the Process quote I posted this weekend. Abby shared her story and I think, I hope, you can find inspiration from it.
You comment on being good all weekend and still seeing the same body.
I got divorced 18 months ago, and have since then slowly worked on improving my lifestyle.
Fortunately, through continuous hard work…the little train that could, I have lost over 30 pounds. This in my 5′2” body is a lot of weight. I still need to drop another 20 to be a BMI 25.
The point is that, when I look in the mirror, I have to really focus on what I see, to not see the same person that carried the extra 30 lbs. But the reason I have been able to lose the weight is two fold.
One…I worked on first embracing myself fat. I looked in the mirror and took pictures and embraced what I saw then, I loved me, fat and respected every cottage cheese dimple on my thighs!!!
Two…this has been and continues to be a very slow, long, process, with lots of ups and downs, with continues struggles, and “successes” and “failures”.
What I have come to appreciate and conclude after all these months, is that unless I die, I will still be here, with or without the weight, I see older women,(i’m 35) who are continuously on diets, not willing or able to accept themselves, and I saw myself on that path. and realized that either I need to accept who I am, and see me for me regardless, or live a life of constant battle with weight loss and weight gain, and fat etc.
Now, I know that once I accepted myself the battle ended, the struggle ended, and so I was no longer depriving myself when I decided not to have the chocolate, I am more focused on the now, and choose not to have the chocolate, however, it has taken me 18 months to lose 30 lbs. That is on average 2 pounds a month, very slow, very slow, so guess what most of the time, I have said yes to the chocolate, sometimes no, the loss has been slow, but the gain, the strength I have achieved from my journey has been all valuable. I still need to lose 20 lbs. But this is not overwhelming at all. I know it will happen, probably in two years from now, but so what I will be 37 adn 38, and 50 and 60, so either i could lose the weight fast, which I could if i so chose to, but then I believe it will come back because I am not changing my life, I am on a diet. This way, it will take 2 more years, but when I reach my goal, I will already know how to maintain, because I am evolving as I am losing!!
Love yourself for your choices, that is who we are, not the body in the mirror…that is the outside world looking in, but how you see yourself is key to how much you will appreciate or sabotage you!!!
Maddie, as Abby states in her very inspiring story you have to accept YOU. It really is the first step towards reaching your goals. I know it’s so much easier for me to say then it is to do. I was 18 once and hated my body. I’ve been there. For me it took age and having a child to finally accept myself. Please don’t wait that long. Life is too short. You are beautiful because you are YOU and that is all that matters.