One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

QUOTES

Weekend Quote: Redefining Success

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This quote was inspired by Anna’s comment on my request for Question of the Week ideas. Anna said…

I believe that when I say I “can’t” do something that on some level I am really saying that i “won’t” do it (because of fear.) so my question is how do we get out of our own way and do what we know we can do?! I love the quote about we are more afraid of success than we are of failure!

I never thought about my own history in the terms Anna put it. "Old Roni" (before getting pregnant) would always say things like…

"I can’t lose weight."
"I can’t run."
"I can’t go to the gym."
"I can’t DO A PULL UP!" (sorry HAD to throw that one in there.) :~P

But the truth is exactly what Anna said. It wasn’t that I couldn’t. It was that I wasn’t.

WOW, does that make any sense?

I knew why I was fat. I knew I ate too much. I knew I was lazy. I complained about my body. I had a poor self image. I’d hide in baggy clothes, wishing, hoping, PRAYING that one day I would wake up and just be thin. Where was the magic pill, Damn IT!

Now don’t get your panties in a twist I know how all that sounds. I’m not saying my thought process was good, or right. I’m just telling you how it was to be in Roni’s head circa 1988-2004.

The funny thing is…

I COULD lose weight
I COULD run.
I COULD go to the gym.
I COULD DO A PULL UP!

IF I just tried.

I had no medical reason why I couldn’t do those things. I just wasn’t doing them. Plain and simple.

Why? Why didn’t I just do the work to "succeed"? Or as Anna so eloquently put it, why was I "in my own way"?

“Old Roni” always defined succeeding as being "thin". Having the body of some airbrushed model. If I didn’t wake up the day after I started a diet, thinner, lighter, weighing less, then I must have failed. Right?!? So why keep trying. After all, I was attempting the impossible, wasn’t I?

At that time, I didn’t realize that trying WAS the success. After reading Anna’s comment and doing a bit of (online) soul searching. I found this quote, not sure who said it first but it’s GENIUS!

You don’t try TO succeed. WHEN you try, you succeed.

How TRUE!

So, just by trying to be healthy I was successful! It all makes sense to me now. That’s a great way to describe my mindset while losing. I really stopped focusing on trying to be thin. I just wanted to learn what I could do be a healthier person for my child. I accepted myself, made small changes and did my best. That change in perspective was all the difference!

Thanks Anna for bringing me down this road. I don’t know if I even came close to addressing your original question but your comment sparked this whole post and I’m so happy I found that quote.

Hope you are all enjoying the weekend! :~)




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Discussion

There are 18 comments so far.

    Susan

    November 15, 2008

    Yes, that pretty much sums up my mindset change too. Losing weight and being healthy is all in the head. I can exercise, I can eat healthy one day at a time, I can make choices that better my self image and quality of life.

    I found this website when I joined WW 4 and a half months ago – since then I have lost 32.8 pounds. Thanks Roni!

    suzan

    November 15, 2008

    OMG..May I copy that quote?..I know there will be a million times I can reflect on it..Roni..I am about 20 years older than you,,your wisdom never ceases to amaze me..what you just put in layman’s terms above, hits the nail..directly on the head..Perfectly written..and perfectly understood…BRAVO.. and as always Thank you……

    Kristen

    November 15, 2008

    Roni,
    Once it again, your post sounds like something I would have wrote. Sometimes it feels like you can read my thoughts and fears.

    I really never attempted to really lose the weight. I never gave it my full effort. Once I did, I got the results that I was looking for. Now I am training for my first half marathon. Who would have thought that this overweight unactive girl would now be 50 pounds lighter and attempting to run 13.1 miles? Crazy.

    Good luck on your training! Thanks again for the great post.
    Kristen

    Anna

    November 15, 2008

    this is Anna aka AnnaBanana, thanks Roni for using MY question-of-the-week idea! i tihink it was meant more as a rhetorical food-for-thought question rather than wanting a specific “answer” to something. and you took it and ran with it beautifully! THANKS so much for all you do for your readers.

    Laura Jane

    November 15, 2008

    I love that quote! It really hit home with me. If success is nothing but being a size 6 or weighing x pounds, then I wouldn’t be successful until the morning I woke at the size/weight. But, in truth, the success really does happen when I get up and do something. I’m successful because I got up and ran a few miles, because I didn’t cave in to eating everything in sight, because I’m taking charge and changing my habits – not because of a number on the scale. And, really, when I do reach my goal weight, I think the far bigger success will be all the changes I made and the things I got up and tried and did. So we really do succeed as soon as we try.

    Check out Laura Janes last blog post..Warning: Discouraging Post

    Fitness Surfer

    November 15, 2008

    I’m only afraid of my success when I have low self esteem. As of late, I’ve had more self esteem and I’m excited for all that is possible. Mind power is an amazing thing. If you ever hear a famous athlete talk about how they broke a world record, or won a gold metal they talk a lot amount mental imagery. Visualizing yourself succeeding.

    Can you picture your self sprinting that last ¼ mile to the finish line, or pulling up your skinny jeans and zipping them up, benching 115 again, coaching a soccer team, competing in a triathlon, raising $100,000 for charity, publishing your first book, selling your first piece of art, going out with out all the worries, and better yet…spending a day learning how to surf, and catching your first wave.

    Now I need to go visualize myself getting a work out done today, and go do it.

    Check out Fitness Surfers last blog post..What I Want More Is…

    Runeatrepeat

    November 16, 2008

    Great Post! It’s so true that a big factor in weight loss and living healthy is your mindset.

    Check out Runeatrepeats last blog post..Donde Esta?

    Jennie

    November 16, 2008

    Very true! In my 10 years in the circus we would have to do push-ups or some other punishment when we said we couldn’t do something. The reality was our trainers would never ask us to do something we weren’t ready to try. I did the same thing when my students would use the word can’t. It’s really a hindering word. When you say it enough you will eventually believe it. By making it a forbidden word you gain confidence because it leaves you having to TRY. thanks for posting, such a good reminder to banish this word more!

    MizFit

    November 16, 2008

    so true.

    in all aspects of life.

    now why am I paralyzed and not trying? need to make that my SUNDAY MUSING IN MY HEAD…

    Check out MizFits last blog post..We interrupt your Saturday for the MizFit Commenter O’The Month (DRUMROLL PLEASE):

    Lynn

    November 16, 2008

    How bad am I that I read the title of this entry as “Weekend Quiche”?

    Thanks for this reminder. I say I “can’t” way too much. I’m making it a point to examine that when I say or think it. I’ll be interested to see where that takes me.

    Rachel

    November 16, 2008

    I think part of the problem is that in today’s society we all want a quick fix, we want things NOW and not later after much hard work, dedication and faith.

    But to help myself believe in what I once thought I could never do I think smaller. And I remember the old tale of the tortise and the hare. Who won the race????

    Slow and steady – it’s the only way.

    Parth

    November 16, 2008

    Hey Roni,

    First time here, great quote! Great mindset as well. It happens to me all the time. I have this bad habit of getting stuck in a certain “right” and “wrong” ways of attaining a particular goal. THe more we stick to a particular mindset that more we’re moving away from our potential. To attain our potential, we need to be using a variety of tools in our toolbox.

    Tina

    November 16, 2008

    I love this post! I totally agree with your quote! :)

    Check out Tinas last blog post..English Muffin Pizzas

    Tina

    November 16, 2008

    P.S. LOVE the CommentLuv feature! So cool!

    Check out Tinas last blog post..English Muffin Pizzas

    Christy

    November 17, 2008

    Goals and a positive attitude are important. I decided it was time for me to set some goals. I have gone on for a while now without a set goal in mind.

    Check out Christys last blog post..I’m So Vain…

    Giyen

    November 17, 2008

    Thanks for all the positive posts! I always end up back here to get motivated. I’ve signed up for a 5k! Thanks Roni!

    Mark

    November 17, 2008

    Very nice thank you!

    Svanhvit

    June 4, 2013

    Loooooooove it!! Thanks for sharing! And it’s so very, very true!