One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

“Racing Roni”

22 Comments 3591 views

Me?

The adolescent who refused to run with her baseball team. The high schooler who couldn’t make the softball team. The lazy college kid that drove ½ mile to campus. The post grad that did no physical activity accept walking around a grocery store.

I was called “Racing Roni” today in Boot Camp… I led the girls on our run… I ran a 9:38 MILE!

ME?!

Come ON! You gotta be kidding me. I feel like a completely different person then I was 10 years ago.
Wait…. let’s take a snap shot of me 10 years ago. That would have been 1998? Right.

Off to the scanner…

Here I am 12/1998 (college graduation) and me now all sweaty after boot camp class (excuse the photo I snapped fast on my eye cam).

Roni 10 year comparison

I remember the day that picture was taken like it was yesterday. I couldn’t find anything to fit except that size 14 skirt that I bought “big” because I liked it. Well it was big when I bought but boy was it snug that day. I also remember that black sweater. I loved that sweater. I bought it at Express, a store I always wanted to shop at more, but their clothes just never seemed to fit me right. I think weighed around 190 at this time. It was the heaviest I ever was at the point in my life.

During that time I was only ever in two states, gaining, or losing. There was no in between. I was in the on plan/off plan cycle. I wasn’t really conscious of my life and my choices. I’d eat to eat and much like I described in my LET IT GO post I ate because I didn’t like my body. At that time I couldn’t let it go. I just couldn’t.

I wish someone would have smacked me upside the head back then and said, “listen, you have to work at what you want in this life. You know that about everything else so why can’t you see it pertains to your weight and heath too! Why can’t you see the cycle you are in. The cycle that’s leading you down an unhealthy miserable path. WAKE UP, LET IT GO and MOVE ON. You are missing life!”

If someone said that to me, would I have listened? Or did I need to find my own path? Find my own way?

I’m not sure. All I know is I’m a much happier person now then I was then. Does it have to with my weight and size, sure, but it’s goes much deeper then that. Ten years ago I was unconscious, eating my way through life. Food was a source of happiness, it was an event, it was a therapy. Now I’m much more aware of what I want and how to get it. I now find pleasure in things besides food. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good cookie now and then (or three :~) and boy I couldn’t live without pizza but now I look to activity, relationships, and experiences to fill my life, not food.

I’m sorry. I don’t know where this is coming from tonight. When they called me “Racing Roni” in Boot Camp it just struck me and while working my tail off I started to reminiscent and think about how far I’ve come. Sometimes I still can’t believe it.

I especially can’t believe my run during boot camp today! a 9:38 miles. Seriously?!? I know I’m not winning any races but man I’ve come a long way and I’m proud. I was so excited when Lance came on the Nike+ letting me know I just ran my fastest mile yet!

9:38 mile


Food Points
Whole Grain Zucchini-Pineapple Bread 2
Egg Salad sandwish with a side of leftover broccoli and carrot stick 3
granola bar 2
Quizno’s Cantina Chicken Sammie (4) and a bag of Baked chips (+ 1/2 of the toddlers Sammie) 10
granola bar 2
grapes 1
Whole Grain Zucchini-Pineapple Bread 2
94% ff Popcorn 4
Total : 26
Activity
2 boot camps and upper body weights!!

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Discussion

There are 22 comments so far.

    Amanda

    September 11, 2008

    That workout top combo is so cute! Where’d you get the gray one? (If you don’t mind me asking lol).

    roni

    September 11, 2008

    LOL Amanda – When you see my video tomorrow this will make you laugh. It’s just a white sports bra and a cheap gray tank from H&M.

    LMG

    September 11, 2008

    You.
    Rock.

    What an inspirational post–thank you!

    Arlene

    September 11, 2008

    Another fantastic post, as usual. It has me thinking about my own non-athletic days. I’m not ready to run a 9-minute mile, but I took a 57-minute walk earlier today (and am about to map it out to see how much distance I covered). Hopefully about 3 miles …

    Glad to read the podcasts should be fixed tomorrow, too! It’ll give me fuel for another nice, long walk! :D

    Fit Bottomed Girls

    September 11, 2008

    9:38? I’m pretty sure that counts as “speed demon” in my book. Nice work!

    madison

    September 11, 2008

    if i ran a 9:38, i’d be ecstatic. you are unrecognizable in that first photo! i think i see a little glimpse of your smile in that face though!

    shoofly mama

    September 11, 2008

    I love reading your posts and don’t comment often, and can’t believe I’m commenting about this, but I STILL HAVE THAT SWEATER!! However, it’s a size XS and after 10 years and 2 babies I’m back into it and STILL LOVE IT!

    roni

    September 11, 2008

    LMAO – My was an XL! I did love that sweater, I wore it SO much it got really thin and I had to get rid of it.

    Ann

    September 11, 2008

    I think you are a crazy women for doing two bootcamps!!!! But more power to ya sister. My abs are killing from yesterday!!
    You have come a long way and you are my inspiration to keep on track and get my butt to the gym.
    See you Friday at bootcamp!!!
    PS Aaron said “who is that lady nex to ms roni?”

    Shannan

    September 11, 2008

    Congrats on your time! You continue to inspire!

    Amanda Daybyday

    September 11, 2008

    Gee, that could have been me in college. Short plaid skirt. Heavy, covering sweater. Except my sweater was green and my skirt was green and red and my hair was long then and is short now…and I probably had about 20 pounds on you. Why did it take us so long to get our stuff together???

    patty

    September 11, 2008

    Hi Roni
    I think you look good in your before photo but spectacular today!!!
    I too had that sweater in XL from Express… You go girl!!
    Thanks as always.
    Patty

    Biz

    September 11, 2008

    AWESOME! I had that exact same sweater, as if by wearing a big sweater no one could see how fat I was!

    It is hard work, and it takes commitment every day, but it does pay off!

    Thanks for the continued inspiration Roni!

    Baby Carrot

    September 11, 2008

    I’m a Roni devotee for sure – but with no internet at home as of late, I’ve missed a bunch. Can you direct me to some of your posts where you “learned how to run?” I’m just getting started running as a way to maintain my loss, and I need help!

    Thanks!

    Baby Carrot

    BTW – You look FABULOUS!

    Katie

    September 11, 2008

    Roni, I love this post! I am you 10 years ago…..I feel like life is just passing me by while i sit around and wait for my weight to “fall off”.

    Thanks for showing us all that we are not alone in this.

    Laura N

    September 11, 2008

    GO YOU!! Great pace. You have “fast runner” written all over you, girl.

    RooBabs

    September 11, 2008

    Way to rock your fast mile, Roni! You are going to do awesome in your upcoming relay. I am doing a 10k this Saturday, which is about the same distance you will be doing. I’ll be thinking of you as my motivation. = )

    You really are so amazing, and I love what you say here:

    I look to activity, relationships, and experiences to fill my life, not food.

    This is the root of emotional eating- food cannot fill that void, and for anyone trapped in that cycle, it’s hard to break. But you’ve hit the nail on the head.

    BTW, although you were bigger in that first picture, I think you still look great. But you are much healthier and more svelte now (and strong, too), so congrats!

    Christine

    September 11, 2008

    Hey Rockin Running Roni!!!!!
    Your the bomb girl. Hey maybe one day you can run your own Bootcamp class your already leading them in the run!!!!

    Way to go Roni, I loved this post.

    Christine :o)

    Tennille

    September 11, 2008

    First off, YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!

    Second, I’m totally in the same state as Katie. I’ve joined Weight Watchers, but I’m having trouble getting moving. I up from 8 am to 11:30 pm everyday because I work and go to school full time. And yes, I work in front of a computer for 7 hours. I can’t seem to make the time to work out and it’s a problem for me because I know that the only way I can get the bod I want is to start moving.

    But, you’ve just made me realize that vegging on the couch for an hour in between work and school, I could can run around the park before dinner! I don’t think I realized that before because I just want to be lazy… but I hear exercising is an addiction *grin*

    Sorry,… long comment of just rambling.. *chuckle*

    Stay awesome! (I know you will *smile*)

    Jessie

    September 11, 2008

    Hey Roni,
    This is my first time writing – but I have been reading your blog for about a year now!! I recently bought the Nike + too and ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!
    I laughed out loud when I read that you were excited when Lance came on your ipod because he did that to me the other day too!! It was super exciting for me too :) I started Biggest Loser at work just to help myself become more accountable!! Running has helped me keep focus – like you I have never liked running but now I can’t get enough of it- I have two 5 Ks coming up! THanks again for keeping up your blog – I absolutely love greenlitebites too! 85% of my recipes come from your site. Keep going STRONG!! Jessie

    Suzan

    September 11, 2008

    Roni,,UNREAL,,,I cannot believe the difference in you,,OMG..You look like a totally different person, your confidence and happieness just glows from you..By the way..do you have a tattoo..(if too personal don’t answer) Love your website,,and how much you love your family too~

    roni

    September 14, 2008

    Suzan,

    Thanks! It is a tattoo, I have a few small ones. The one on my chest is a lizard… it was inspired my a Jim Morrison quote…

    “I am the Lizard King, I can do anything”