One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

FIGHTING THE FUNK

Fighting the Funk – Making What You Want out of What You Have

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AACK! I could complain about a lot of things but I don’t want to get into them. The point is, I’ve been in a FUNK all day. And what do I want to do to solve that funk? EAT! Of course.

While trying to get myself out of the funk, I decided to organize my pantry. It’s in desperate need. In doing so, I found a box of stale chocolate chip cookies. These cookies are a huge weakness of mine. They are big, full of chips, and soft, in my opinion, all the best qualities a cookie can have. Well, even after discovering they were stale I STILL proceeded to chow down. WHY? Because I’m in a funk and that’s what I do. I try to “cure” the funk with food. I’m not quit sure why, but I do.

This time though, I caught myself and I TREW THEM AWAY. Then I proceeded to eat a nice big bowl of homemade chicken soup. I figured it would fill me up (I’m not really hungry, mind you) and be a much better choice to cure the funk craving.

Well it worked for awhile and then my brain started turning, “Hmmm it’s football saturday, we can order a pizza, yeah. That would be good, a PIZZA. Maybe we’ll get a side of those chicken tenders too. And I’ve always wanted to try one of their new desserts.”

Ok, I’m not kidding, that’s EXACTLY what when through my head. That is the way my brain works when I’m in a funk. It’s like I start to scheme and plan how I can consume the most frivolous calories. That’s my solution, I guess? Or maybe it’s a symptom. I’m not sure.

Anything can start the funk, feeling sorry for myself, mad at someone, lonely, ugly, fat, distant, really it could be anything, but the cure I always seek out is the same. Food.

My logic, sane, self (she’s able to somehow stay afloat in my funk-afied brain and I hear her more and more the longer I’m on this journey) realized early there was no way I could pick up the phone to order that pizza. It would be a disaster. So instead I decided to make what I wanted out of what I had. I made pizza.

Does that make sense? Let me explain.

Now I’ve said this before. For me, the actual act of cooking food starts to satisfy the craving. I think there is something about the short delay in preparing the food that helps. If I just grabbed a bag of chips or ordered the pizza I’m instantaneously satisfy the craving. That’s too easy. I don’t want to make it easy on myself, I’d rather go with hard. Hard decision are normally better for me in the long run. If I have to work for it then the time I’m planning, preparing and cooking all lead to the satisfaction.

So instead of ordering a pizza that’s made with hordes of full fat cheese, greasy meats, non-nutritious white flour I decided to make my own. Today I went all out and made my Thin Crust Whole Wheat Pizza Dough but I could have made Tortilla Pizza, or English muffin pizza. I could have made in on a pita, in a crepe, in a wonton, as a salad or even on top of eggs. Even when I don’t have sauce I make do and sometimes a craving can turn into some quality family time. Can you tell I have a pizza addiction? All these ideas came from curing pizza cravings.

My point here is (and I swear there is one) the next time you are confronted with a funk, a craving, or a “I just want something” mood, get creative. Don’t just give in and and take the easy way out, Make What You Want out of What You Have. I think you’ll be ultimately more satisfied if you do.

I wasn’t going to post this but I made a commitment to journal for my 8 week challenge, so here you go. I’m really making an effort to do what I say I’m going to do.


Food Points
4 Whole Grain Pancakes 4
yogurt 2
Leftover Rainbow Turk-a-Roni 5
1/2 of a stale chocolate chip cookie 2
Bowl of homemade chicken soup (made with beer chicken bones using my Turkey Stock Technique) 2
1/3 of my homemade pizza 6
Another 1/3 6
McDonalds cone 3
bag of 94% ff popcorn with 2 light Mikes Hard Lemonade 8
Total : 38
Activity
nada :~(

Want a food journal like this for your blog? Try the table generator.



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Discussion

There are 16 comments so far.

    Crazylady

    September 7, 2008

    Roni, thank you so much for your honesty. I’m sorry for the funk you were/are in but it helps me (and others too I’m sure) so much to know that someone who has lost so much weight and kept it off still has to fight those feelings regularly. It re-enforces that we are always a work in progress no matter what stage we think we are at.

    Now though I will definitely try to be more creative the next time this happens to me -usually daily! :)

    MizFit

    September 7, 2008

    I second the honestlylove and, while I hate that you were fealin da funk, I REALLY LIKE YOUR APPROACH.
    a more hip version of WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS!

    Shannan

    September 7, 2008

    Roni, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who gets creative with the pizza making when the cravings hit (they hit often – it’s a weakness of mine). But good, repeatable recipes come out of it, AND you get to eat pizza, too! :)

    And don’t feel bad, I’m sure a lot of us would have dug into that bag of cookies in a heartbeat. At least you recognized that it wasn’t the best thing for you to do. I congratulate you on being able to just throw away the bag.

    Inny

    September 7, 2008

    The fact that you are making the effort to fight the funk is reason enough to make you proud of yourself and get you out of the funk. Good job with that! I love English muffins, I’ll make a pizza out of them sometime soon.

    suzanne

    September 7, 2008

    That was so my day yesterday!! I worked in a donut/coffee shop all day 2-10 pm and didn’t eat any junk there, just the dinner i had taken to work. Came home and made a pizza of which i ate 1/2 of!! Oh well today is another day.

    Chellie Has Issues

    September 7, 2008

    I love that you have 2 battling convos with yourself too! It’s a constant battle. Do you ever thing people like you and I will be “normal” when it comes to food. There are tons of people who don’t have the internal dialogue ticking in their brains when it comes to eating. I wonder if I’ll ever be there someday. What I worry about, is that when it goes away so will my new healthy self. I want to be able to have both.

    Char

    September 7, 2008

    Hey-thanks for this post. I too always turn to food to “fix” things. In the end i feel worse and disappointed and weak. You have inspired me to keep plugging away-even though i still haven’t found the joy of working out-and try my best to have a “good” day. I don’t beat myself up as much as i used to when I have a weak day, because you have them too and have been successful in your weight loss. Its posts like this one that remind me I am only human and that I’m not alone in my thinking. Thanks so much for putting your honest thoughts out there for all to read. Hope you have a better day!

    roni

    September 7, 2008

    Chellie – What is “normal” anyway. Those people who don’t have this internal struggle have another. KWIM? I really think it’s about using what you got. We got this “need to eat” so, ok, let’s work WITH it not against. We will ultimately be more satisfied and happy if we do. I really think it’s about compromise with ourselves.

    Thanks everyone, I’m feeling better today alread, even though my appetite is insatiable!

    Annette

    September 7, 2008

    I love that idea of making something instead of grabbing the easy fix! It is far too easy to order pizza…..or three!

    AnnaBanana

    September 7, 2008

    WOW i am in a period-funk right now! and last night I DID MAKE THAT CALL and ordered a pizza. BUT, i only had ONE slice and made a huge salad to go with it. WHAT a NSV for me because usually during my period i go crazy for at least a couple of days and eat whatever!

    roni

    September 7, 2008

    AnnaBanana – WOW that is HUGE NSV!!

    Biz319

    September 7, 2008

    I used food for comfort forever it seems. I think it will always be a battle to make the right choice when its so easy to get off track and stay there.

    You did great though, you should be very proud of yourself!

    Sherri

    September 7, 2008

    Roni,

    I read your site almost daily and I love all that you share. I have never commented until now but wanted to suggest that maybe going to a Weight Watcher meeting would help with your “funk”. I joined last November and have lost almost 40 lbs. and still have 18 to go. I find the meetings really help me with my mental issues with food. I’m not sure if you’ve gone to a meeting in a while so I just wanted to suggest it. Keep up all your excellent work. Your site is so helpful!!

    roni

    September 7, 2008

    Sherri – I agree. I’ve been using time as an excuse but I have to make it a priority. Thanks for the virtual kick in the butt!

    Rachel

    September 8, 2008

    Roni,
    I have never posted before, but I just wanted to tell you thank you for this site! I am a 19 year old college student, just moved into a new apartment. I love testing out your recipes, tricking my brother and my roommate into eating healthier, and for your brutal honesty in all that you do. These internal struggles, I believe, are some of the hardest things to overcome- as a retired gymnast who has struggled with eating on all different kinds of the spectrum, I thank you for your hard work that goes into this site… it has brought me great motivation to love myself, love my body, and be more healthy.
    Thanks again :)

    Lizzie

    September 8, 2008

    Roni,

    I check out your site everyday and today more than ever this one hit home. I do the exact samething when I am in a funk, I go for food and still do after 5 years. I lost about 70 lbs 5 years ago and still struggle with these urges and struggles, but like you I love to cook and am going to take your advise when I want something I need to make it. Thank you for your site you are great and help me realize I am not the only one with these struggles, oh yeah and I love greenlittlebites in fact I am making the Mexican Inspired okra orzo stew tonight, My husband is going to love it.

    Thanks again,
    Lizzie