One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

FOOD JOURNALS

A Super Nanny Moment

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super nanny Only other moms will understand this one.

You’ve had a great day. The toddler is a joy to be around, playing with a friend, helping you around the house. Dad is out mowing the lawn. Then it’s time for dinner.

I make pork chops, rice and asparagus. The husband and toddler’s favorite type of meal, all separate with nothing touching anything on the plate. (BORING) We sit down and begin to eat. The toddler downs a glass of chocolate milk like it’s going out of style and asks for more.

I say, "No, you aren’t going to fill up milk without eating dinner. Have a some chicken first."

That’s not a typo, we call our pork "chicken". We also call our fish "chicken" and of course our chicken is "chicken". Why? Well, to the toddler it’s all just "chicken". I got tired of arguing.

Anyway, this started a bit of a crying fest.

"*snif* *sniff* but I want chocolate milk"

"Then have a bite of chicken."

"Chocolate milk!"

"CHICKEN FIRST"

You can see where this is going. So I decided he knew what the deal was and it didn’t warrant any more discussion. The husband and I had a conversation trying to ignore the crying.

That lasted all of about 5 minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided it was time for the "Green Chair."

We have a large green chair in our living room that I use as a cool down chair. It’s not our time out spot that’s somewhere different. The green chair is a place for the toddler to cool down when he’s upset, crying and/or having a tantrum.

Well he DID NOT want to sit on the green chair. So for the next 5 minutes I kept getting up and placing him back on the green chair all the while he is crying and screaming…

"I DON’T WANT TO SIT ON THE GREEN CHAIR!"

Up

Down

Back

Forth

At this point he is carrying on like someone is stabbing him in the eyes with sharp pencils. I finally decided I needed to sit right by the green chair and reinforce that he is not allowed to get down until he calms down. I got down to his level, made eye contact, the whole 9 yards.

What ensued was a 20 minute display of pure toddler craziness. Arms flailing, legs kicking, tears streaming. Really not that different then this example except all happening on the green chair.

Intertwined in the crying was…

"I DON’T WANT TO SIT ON THE GREEN CHAIR"

"I WANT TO EAT DINNER"

"MOMMY LET ME DOWN"

"DON’T HOLD ME"

"LEAVE ME ALONE"

I’m NOT kidding. My three year old was in the middle of a complete meltdown.

Now I pride myself on not giving in. EVER. Since I said he was not allowed to leave the green chair until he calmed down, he was NOT to leave that chair until the crying subsided and he was able to rationally speak with me.

He finally did after a few counting sessions and distraction methods. Seriously the boy needed some help it was like he was possessed with the devil himself. At one point I laughed out loud because the whole thing was completely ridiculous.

After the calm down, the first words out of his mouth are… "Chocolate milk, please".

LMAO

To which I replied… "After you have a bite of chicken."

I’m not kidding, he gets up from the green chair, walks to the table, sits down and eats the pork. LIke the last 1/2 hour never happened!! We continued with dinner (now cold) and had a conversation about school. The rest of the evening he was a pure joy.

Ahhhh parenting, nothing beats it!

Normally an event like this requires some serious carbs. I’m ‘sort of’ kidding ;~) but tonight I felt good. Hmmmm "good" may not be the right word. Strong? Proud? In control? I’m not sure how to describe it. If this happened yesterday or Sunday I would have reached for some kind of food medication but today I was fine.

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you about my last two days of bingeing madness. It started Sunday with opening a bag of baked Doritos and ended last night when I polished off the bag. That’s right, I ate an entire 12 serving bag of Doritos in 2 days. I was on Autopilot. I can’t describe it, I was conscious of what I was doing but yet unable able to stop. Well, I guess I could have stopped but I didn’t. Do you know what I mean? Anyway I don’t want to get too deep tonight, I just don’t have it in me but I needed to confess because it would be all too easy to pretend it didn’t happen.

Moving on. Here’s today’s food journal. I’m off to take a bath!


Food Points
grapenuts with 1/2 banana and skim milk 5
soy crisps 2
prunes (more on this later) 1
Grilled Chicken (the precooked ones from Aldis – VERY good) on a Whole Wheat Sandwich Thin with baby spinach, tomato some of my homemade dressing 4
Probiotic Bar (review coming soon) 5
pork chop with whole grain rice side and aparagus 9
Total : 27
Activity
nada

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Discussion

There are 40 comments so far.

    madison (follow my weigh)

    September 24, 2008

    hahah! i’m not a mom, but that was enjoyable to read (maybe it was enjoyable b/c i’m not a mom). can’t wait to have a kid =) (sort of)

    Check out madison (follow my weigh)s last blog post..thinking about thanksgiving

    Dori

    September 24, 2008

    i think you need to get to a meeting. sounds like maybe some old habits of binge eating creaping in.. with the holidays approaching.. halloween, thanksgiving, christmas.. focus now. i always feel better after a meeting. when i havent been in a while i do the same thing.. start eating.. not thinking.. and next thing you know.. i am hating myself.. and cant stop. i think its great that you lost and are back to a “normal’ life. you can eat and live like we were meant to.. not having to worry every bite you eat. :) good luck Roni! and the toddle is normal. i would just give him 1/2 the milk.. the other 1/2 after he finishes.. or water.. pick and choose your battles.. life is too short. your little boy is soo cute. :)

    Fit Bottomed Girls

    September 24, 2008

    Great stuff. I especially like the example tantrum. Although I couldn’t watch it all. I’m sure I have plenty of that to look forward to in the future, why add another 3:39 onto a future reality? :)

    Check out Fit Bottomed Girlss last blog post..Blocking Genes, Overcoming Woes and Building Healthy Whipper Snappers

    Maranda (Crafting Blog)

    September 24, 2008

    Roni, That story made me laugh. I have two toddlers and I know what you are talking about. I often laugh out loud too because it’s so funny and a little sad:) Good for you for staying on track, thats where I lose it and head for some Ice Cream.

    Check out Maranda (Crafting Blog)s last blog post..What I did this weekend…

    Christy

    September 24, 2008

    Sorry to hear the little guy had a rough couple of minutes. Anyways it looks like you had a great menu/food journal today. You did not over indulge. :-)

    Check out Christys last blog post..Mexican Night…

    Stephanie

    September 24, 2008

    Oh the milk….We have the same struggle here daily (and sometimes several times a day:) If I didn’t know any better I would have though someone was peeping in our house. My 4 year old even looks like your son! We too call most protein chicken but we do it so they will eat it. They like fish, meat, etc. but will only eat it when they think it is chicken!

    Check out Stephanies last blog post..It’s better for the kids…

    roni

    September 24, 2008

    Dori – I Agree! I’m missing my meetings! There just never seems to be a time that works for me now. I have to MAKE the time!!

    As for the pick your battles comment.. I do. At 3 he’s going to listen to Mom. If he learns now that mom means business then I”m hoping at 6 it won’t be as hard. That’s my theory anyway. :~)

    Annette

    September 24, 2008

    My Gracie was 3 in Feb and when she melts down, it is not pretty. I have often commented to hubby, that people walking by outside may think we are beating her because it is that loud and violent. One episode began yesterday when I was at her school to volunteer. When preschool ended at 11, it was time to head home. She thought we were going to stay and eat lunch with older brother (like we did at Grandparents day 2 wks ago) and proceeded to have a fit outside. It was BAD. I had to use force to get her in the carseat. She kicked and screamed and refused to get out of the van when we got home.

    OMG!

    Life as a mommy………..never dull! But,if you stay in control, it will work out………….eventually!

    Check out Annettes last blog post..Not a Normal Tuesday Post

    roni

    September 24, 2008

    Fit Bottomed Girls – LOL I didn’t make it to the end either!

    MizFit

    September 24, 2008

    good G-D I GET ALL OF THIS.

    if only we lived close enough to have a playdate.

    virtual perhaps?

    Check out MizFits last blog post..Viewer Mail. The childish edition.

    Shannan

    September 24, 2008

    I applaud you for sticking with the green chair through all that. It’s nice to know the method actually works, and it’s not just some tv episode. I’m not a mom, but I’ve spent day in and day out with infants through 5-year-olds for 12 hours at a time, so I know how trying certain moments can be.

    Good for you for having a good food day, too. You could have let the “Dorito incident” affect your whole week, but you didn’t, you moved on. (I’m a little jealous you had Doritos!) :)

    Check out Shannans last blog post..C25K Week Four Report…It’s Getting Better!

    Kylee

    September 24, 2008

    Sounds familiar! We too call every white meat, chicken. I too have done that with baked doritos. Chips are my down fall, I can’t buy them.

    Katie

    September 24, 2008

    Roni,

    Loved the story. I’m not a mom, but good to see that kind of follow-thru. I wish we would do better with that for our dog! lol… and that tantrum video was so funny! Excellent birth control! :)

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Katie

    Irina

    September 24, 2008

    OK, so there must have been something in the air yesterdy because my 2 year old thrrew a fit like nobody’s business… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!!!! He was yelling so loud people actually started looking through their windows (and a few came outside) so see exactly what was going on and who dared to torture the kid. So, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. You did a phenomenal job not caving in and that’s really the only correct way to handle it (really hard, but right).

    WannaBeSkinny

    September 24, 2008

    I say great job! It will get easier as they learn the boundaries. Then they’ll test them to make sure they are still there. My son is 12 and just a couple of weeks ago tried some back talk. He quickly learned where the line was and not to cross it with that move again. =)

    Always a new antic to test my patience.

    Check out WannaBeSkinnys last blog post..Is it time to eat?

    Debbie

    September 24, 2008

    VERY GOOD RONI! Yeah that supernanny task can last forever, but the key is consistency, and you rocked! Supernanny would be proud of you!

    stacey grieve

    September 24, 2008

    Interesting that you refer to your Autopilot, and that it was contributing to your Doritos-fest. I shed 135 lbs years ago and have kept it off by reprogramming my autopilot to be one of a thin person, not a fat person. Your autopilot must still be on “fat” mode if it is directing you to do the things you describe. I wrote a book about what I learned re the mind and how to reprogram it into “thin-thinking” called it Why Are You Weighting? because there is a personal reason why each of us holds onto or regains the weight…I figured out mine, and now I help others figure theirs out. Keep up the good work, you are on the right track! Stacey

    Christine

    September 24, 2008

    I think is it great that you let him express his emotions–seemed like he was able to express them and easily move on. Kids do not have the ability to fully understand their feelings (anger, helplessness, etc), so they all come out in one big crying fest.

    Dawn

    September 24, 2008

    I am so proud of you for not giving in. I pride myself on that as well. It is WORTH it in the long run for sure. By the way, we call everything “chicken” too. HAHA

    Check out Dawns last blog post..Finally an AM workout

    Jenni Shaver

    September 24, 2008

    As a mom of 5 I can totally emphasize with you. Good for you for staying consistant. I know that my littles can spot weakness and go in for the kill like nobodies business.. stay strong!!

    Check out Jenni Shavers last blog post..Dancing it off..

    pam

    September 24, 2008

    I have been on the same autopilot….like those calories from those 4 mm’s don’t count, or the three doritos (that led me to eat the whole bag SLOWLY) don’t count. It is a bad habit to get into…..which I am struggling with as well. Maybe we both need a meeting. Sometimes I feel like I am in AA. WW is almost the same thing for those of us with a food addiction. We turn to food…… just like alchohol. Bored…stressed…..tired…..fun….entertainment…..guilt etc.etc.etc. I need to go on LOCKDOWN MODE and start to record everything that enters thy mouth! There ya go…..:(This was more for me than for you by the way) Thanks.

    Jennifer

    September 24, 2008

    That was a GREAT post. I have a almost 3 year old and an almost 2 year old and my almost 3 year old is HORRIBLE a lot of the time. I am amazed at the tantrums she can throw! And we are like you, all meat at our house is called chicken, but some days she eats it, and some days she doesn’t! I unlike you, probably would not have been so strong. Good for you!

    Bonnie

    September 24, 2008

    Good for you, Roni, for sticking with it with Ryan….yes, Supernanny would be proud. I’ve seen worse fits than the You Tube little girl fit in my only granddaughter. Sheeeesh. Although she’s only done it with me one time. I think they find out at a very young age, who they can get by with doing that to. Of course, they’ll all try it, but you’re right to nip it in the bud. And once they find out their boundaries, they will less and less try to cross them. Consistency is the key. And absolutely, you want him to get to the point where he listens to you, the first time. What would happen if he started to dart out into traffic and didn’t listen to you when you said, “STOP!”? It looks like you’ve got it under control. As a matter of fact, it looks like you’ve pretty much got your whole life under control….that’s what makes you such an inspiration!

    Krista

    September 24, 2008

    And here I thought it was only MY kids that had these sorts of meltdowns! I feel so much better now that I know my kids are “normal”! I, too have laughed at the sheer madness of it all…..it’s either laugh or fall into the pit of meltdown madness myself! :)

    natalia

    September 24, 2008

    “food medication”

    never quite heard it said like that before, but I self-medicate all day long.

    thanks for writing it out. definitely an eye opener.

    Karla

    September 24, 2008

    What an enjoyable read!! You are ‘spot on’ on the parenting front! And keeping your cool through it all was key. A little pain now will reap respect for the rest of your life – it’s a small sacrifice to make (but oh, so hard, at the time). We don’t have a toddler any more, but I recall those days vividly…. As for your bingeing – you are NOT alone. I call it ‘grazing.’ For me, it happens right before and after supper. I just can’t stop myself! I go from cupboard to cupboard looking for whatever I can put in my mouth. I try to make good ‘grazing’ choices – cereal, fruit, peanuts – but the calories I consume during this time completely ruin my total intake for the day. I am conscious I’m doing it, but can’t stop. The only thing I have found that helps is to walk out of the kitchen for 20-30 minutes. When I come back, I’m back in control. WHY DO WE LET THIS HAPPEN?????

    stacey grieve

    September 24, 2008

    Karla….you keep letting this happen because of your “paradigms”. A paradigm is a set of habits, that is programmed into our subconscious and runs us, just like an operating system (windows, firefly, mozilla etc) is programmed into your computer and runs it. The only way to permanently stop yourself from this grazing is to reprogram your paradigms in your subconscious. This is not hard to do, but does require consistent effort over time. I know, cuz it worked for me after 30+ years of dieting, regaining, dieting, regaining…I’ve reduced and then regained over 300 lbs in my life and now maintain a low weight pretty easily and I eat what I want. You gotta deal with your paradigms, it’s the only permanent solution. Check out my book Why Are You Weighting? at www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com and see if this makes sense for you.

    Check out stacey grieves last blog post..Does your DNA determine your weight?

    Caryl

    September 24, 2008

    Is your son wearing a dress?
    This entry was so funny- can definately symphasize.

    Caryl

    September 24, 2008

    Hahah, never mind…you didn’t film that viedo!

    Misty

    September 24, 2008

    At my house we have a “red chair” for time-outs! I have a three year old daughter. The first time I really meant business about the “red chair” our battle lasted 30min!!! And like Ryan, when it was over it was like it never happened. Now, she will sit and do her “time”(mostly) without a screaming fit. I guess the terrible twos last into three and beyond.

    Tamela

    September 24, 2008

    Everything is chicken in our house too, life is much easier that way. Or it’s just called “meat.”

    Welcome to the world of 3 year olds. SO much worse than the terrible two’s!!! My oldest is 4 and still has days like that. Worse actually now that he’s older. You did a great job standing your ground, it can be so tough some days but it’s a must.

    suzanne

    September 24, 2008

    am i the only person who thought that video was disturbing? i get that kids have temper tantrums and that sometimes to keep their sanity parents have to just laugh at them, but the girl is screaming for her mother to stop filming her and her mother keeps on saying ‘i love you’ and won’t stop filming until the girl says ‘i love you’ back. kind of messed up message about love, if you ask me.

    roni, your story sounded like a great example of a parent practicing engaged discipline. but the video was upsetting to watch.

    roni

    September 24, 2008

    No your not! I thought the same thing, it was the first one I found and when I saw her reaction it was so similar to the toddlers. But you are right, when the mom chimes in with the I Love You things, it was a bit odd.

    suzanne

    September 24, 2008

    thanks roni :-)

    ok, so knowing that some day my baby daughter will be a three-year old, shrieking and thrashing on the floor in front of me, i am going to go take another look at her, sweet as anything right now and fast asleep :-)
    your videos with ryan make me look forward to the days when she and i can cook together! it’s great watching you with him – i get food for thought about parenting along with great cooking tips.

    Jen

    September 24, 2008

    Roni…tonight we got home and my just about 3 year old wanted to watch a little TV. Great….we put on an episode of Thomas — but after we started it nothing was right for her…she was arguing about everything and being so demanding and using no manners. Of course, I am tired from work and trying to get dinner ready. The easy thing would have been to just let her keep watching the show and ignore her poor behavior. I gave her the warning that if she argued with me again, the TV was being turned off. I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. But, man..it was a full blown 25 minute meltdown with her finally calming down in her bed. When it was done…she looked at me and said — “Please can I watch Thomas–I am using my manners”–I told her not tonight, but tomorrow because she didn’t use her manners first…..I read your post and it was exactly the same as your son…come out of the meltdown and focus right back on the original subject…but she delt with it great after the meltdown. Way to stay strong….I too at one point just laughed…..b/c I couldn’t believe that she was still throwing a fit…….anyway…sorry for the long post, I just sooooooooo could relate to your post tongiht…:) Good reminder that so much of it is the age and development.

    Alison

    September 25, 2008

    You did a wonderful job. Parenting is so hard, isn’t it? My 3 1/2 year old gets so worked up about tiny things and it is nice to know he is normal ;-) Your son is adorable in your videos. Great job staying away from “self medicating” with food, too! That is a big deal. :)

    Laura

    September 26, 2008

    Roni, I just had to comment on this post! Ohhh, isn’t 3 great? I have two toddlers at home so I very much identify with your situation! Isn’t it amazing the things that set them off? chocolate milk? Come on, right?!?

    My oldest threw a very similar tantrum in the middle of Target last week, and I was just mortified. And he was frantic – just like you describe – the flailing, screaming, throwing himself down madness. You should have seen the people watching as I hightailed it out of the store. I was mostly upset cause I had to leave my shopping cart with my cute new fall rug and take the rugrats back to the car! :)

    We also call everything chicken. Every night, “Mom, do I have to eat this chicken?” YES!! The answer is yes!! When he was 2 we were eating Tilapia and he asked us, “Does this fish have a face like Nemo?” After that we decided everything was chicken!

    Check out Lauras last blog post..???

    Lyn

    September 28, 2008

    Ah yes, I, too have a three year old!! She had a tantrum in my bed this morning because she came in, decided I should get up at 5am, and when I did not hop up smiling, she climbed in a proceeded to scream BUT IT’S MORNING!!!!!!!!!!! And kick the covers off the bed. Niiice…

    You did a great job with the consistency! Kids are funny. I need a green chair. (For me).

    Common Sense Dad

    October 22, 2008

    First – why are you giving him sugar filled CHOCOLATE milk in the evening? Water is what they need. Sugar and junk is what causes most kids meltdowns. They’re already hyped up enough on youth and don’t need any help from chemicals. The meal you cooked seems very nutritious though.
    Second – I’m at home 2 days a week while my wife works. Dads can understand this situation, not only mums.
    Third – don’t buy junk food or chocolate milk and your kid won’t know what it is or at least wont expect it at home and it won’t be a choice or enticement. Sure they’ll get to it at school with their friends but that’s their problem and if you get them into good habits at home they will flow into school life. We are all weak at moments so a safety net is to not keep the stuff around.
    Apologies for being stiff and dull.

    I am glad you directed your readers to this again, because I go through this daily with my two year old, sometimes I give in, most nights I don’t. You just gave me strength for another day!