One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

The Choice for Plastic Surgery after Weight Loss

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This is such a tough topic for me to discuss. I want to spread the “love thyself” message. I want to be a women who looks in a mirror, flaws and all, and says “I love you, just the way you are”. I’ve always wanted to be that person but truthfully, I’m not and never was. I envy people who have that quality at any size, they are a truly inspirations.

It wasn’t until I accepted myself that weight loss was possible. When I accepted my flaws, faced my emotions and believed in ME, I was able to really step up to the challenge and long term commitment that weight loss took.

Once I reached my goal, I faced the new challenge so many people who lose weight do. I had/have access skin and body issues that I would not have if I never carried the extra 70lbs. Excess weigh puts stress on our bodies in more ways then one and (especially as we age) it doesn’t just snap back to pre-weight shape. I think most of us know this.

So once I reached my goal weight I decided to have a Tummy Tuck. It was actually an easy decision for me. I’ve always had an issue with my midsection and the amount of skin that was left was excessive. There was nothing I could do to minimize it on my own and I looked at the procedure as the last stop on transforming into the new me. It was a way to say goodbye to the chubby girl inside and welcome the confident slim women I always knew I could be.

It worked, it really did. I do not regret for one single minute that I made that decision. Even with the pain, long recovery time and year of payments it was worth it.

Would I be miserable with out it? Probably not. I’d probably wear baggier clothes and baby dolls tops a bit more and be a little less confident but I would have survived. I’m sure of that, but I had the means, and the guts, so I did it.

Now I’m making another decision. This decision took me almost a year to make and it has me reconsidering my self-love and self-acceptance. In that year I’ve accomplished more physically then I ever considered possible. I’m a weight training fanatic now and I have less then 12 hours until my first ever 5K. My body is in better shape then I could have ever imagined.

At my last post-op appointment for the tummy tuck I mentioned a few areas to the doctor that still bothered me. A little extra skin here a little stubborn fat there. He recommended a procedure and I’ve pondered it since last August.

On one side, I have the confident, “your just fine the way you are” girl saying, “it’s not worth it”. You’ve come so far and you look great. Be happy with who you are and just keep doing what your doing. You are fabulous!

On the other side, I have the confident (yes both these women are confident), “you’ve come so far but you could look better” girl saying, “why not, you deserve this”. You really have come so far, and you do look great but there are some things out of your control and if you have the means to fix them then why not. You only live once after all!

My decision is one that not all will agree with but in the end it’s mine to make. I’ve decided to proceed with the surgery and I will be getting extra skin and fat removed from my sides and thighs in a few weeks.

The funny thing, I feel better getting all that off my chest! It really was a hard decision for me and I didn’t let too many people in before making it. Surgery is scheduled for June 17 and in a weird way I’m looking forward to it. As with everything, it’s another stage on my journey and one I will learn and grow from.

Share your thoughts on getting plastic surgery on the Question of the Week… Would you get Plastic Surgery?




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Discussion

There are 55 comments so far.

    Anonymous

    May 31, 2008

    I am de-lurking to tell you that when I was thinking about a tummy tuck after losing 65 lbs, your blog pictures really helped me to make my decision. In fact, searching for info led me to your site and I read it often. Yes the recovery was a long and uncomfortable process (had my upper arms done too), but wow, it was so worth it! I would not be able to wear cute body skimming clothes if I did not have the tummy tuck.
    Many people are very opinionated when it comes to plastic surgery. It is brave of you to put your thoughts and pictures out there for the world to see, but I am glad that you did. I’m sure that it was a tough decision, but I am sure you will be very happy with the results.
    I hope that you do the before and after pics!
    Congratulations!
    Best,
    Deidre
    dmbenini@yahoo.com

    amy hartling

    May 31, 2008

    Roni- Way to go! I think it is a great thing to do for yourself. I imagine that when I have lost my weight I will make a similar choice. I hope that your 5K tomorrow goes well and that you will have a quick and speedy recovery after 6-17.

    Kit

    May 31, 2008

    You know what’s best for you and don’t let anyone tell you differently! I think this is a great idea for you, go for it!

    Kristina

    May 31, 2008

    You have worked hard to get where you are and I see it as a personal decision that you have thought long and hard over. I think you will find more support over your decision that people that are ‘disappointed’….so just remember that, you are an inspiration to many!

    Jess' s Food Coma

    May 31, 2008

    You put in your time working hard to be the person, physically and mentally that you are today and I think that you deserve to be 110% happy with yourself. I wish you the best and I think you are going to be even more fabulous if that is even possible!

    Kim

    May 31, 2008

    Good luck Roni. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision to make, and as it is yours, all respect. You do deserve it. Just don’t ever stop with the weights and strength training – that is the key for ultimate and complete success. You’re great!!! LOVE YOURSELF!!! :-)

    Tanya

    May 31, 2008

    I want to wish you all the best for your first 5k and can’t wait to hear about it!
    People will have thier opinions on your surgery but I truly believe that we have to do what we think is best for ourselves despite what others might think. Don’t live with any regret. Do this now while you are young and able to. Why not live your life to the fullest? Roni you are truly an inspiration and admire your decision. It’s a big thing to go under the knife. Good for you!

    Anonymous

    May 31, 2008

    Is anyone thinking what I’m thinking? When is enough perfection enough?

    Laura Brandon

    May 31, 2008

    plastic surgery is a really personal choice, and i can understand why it was so hard to make. but i think if it will help you look on the outside the way you feel on the inside, i’m all for it! and thank you so much for putting this out there for the world to see and for us all to give our opinions… i think that’s really brave, because we all know there are going to be people challenging your decision. good luck on june 17!!

    coral

    May 31, 2008

    i definitely agree with getting plastic surgery. You work so hard to be healthy, but of course, you also want the outward body appearance to match and show your hard work. Like you said, some would be fine with the extra skin, etc, but I know I would make the same decision as you if I had the money to do it.

    I am DYING to get a breast lift, and while I have a lot more to lose, I fear the loose skin. But I feel that once I get in shape, then have a kid, at that point it will be time to fix myself up if I need to!

    Kim

    May 31, 2008

    I just sourced an article in response to this, which you may find interesting, on loose skin after weight loss, and how surgery should be your absolute last resort. It’s on the front page of my site right now.
    http://weightlossdietsecrets.net

    Helen

    May 31, 2008

    Thank you for sharing your decision. Partly because you shared your tummy tuck story, I saw a plastic surgeon a few weeks ago because even after an 85 lb loss, I still had saddlebags and was thinking about liposuction. Turns out it’s not fat that can be liposuctioned, but excess skin, and the doctor recommended a thigh/buttocks lift. I thought about surgery, but decided for me, it wasn’t going to be worth it. The doctor said for some people the scars would be worse than the skin, and I fall into that category. Even today, in the Macy’s dressing room, I yanked up the skin on one thigh to compare to the other, and thought, “Yes, it looks better without the skin, but not enough better for surgery, a scar and half my savings.” But I never even would have thought about plastic surgery if I hadn’t read about your tummy tuck. As you said, it’s really a personal decision and people have to make their own choices–I’ll probably debate for awhile if I made the right one, so good for you for taking the plunge if you know it will make you feel better about yourself. I appreciate that you shared your decision with us–good luck and I look forward to reading about it.

    Dani Spies

    May 31, 2008

    Hey Oh Brave One! Brave for sharing, brave for facing your fears, brave for following through on the decisions that work best for you. Nobody knows better than YOU what works for you and your body. You have given this a lot of thought and I just wish you the best with everything. Lots of luck with your run tomorrow too…I know you’re gonna kick some booty:).

    Holly

    June 1, 2008

    *ignores unbrave anonymous leaving nay saying comments…*

    I say, if you have the body and means to do it, then do it! I want to get to my goal weight (and stay there for a couple years!) before I have kids. I think if I am able to get back to my goal weight after having kids, and I am financially able (as is my body), I would consider a tummy tuck.

    I seriously sound like a broken record, but this is the best blog I’ve ever read. :)

    Have a fun 5k!

    -Holly

    Later Gator

    June 1, 2008

    I know how hard this decision’s been. Good for you for making it for yourself, and not anyone else!

    Roni

    June 1, 2008

    Thank you SO MUCH guys. I actually would like to address the anon perfection comment…

    I’m not perfect now, I won’t be after the surgery, I will never be and I don’t think I want to be!

    But I’ll take it as a compliment that you already think I am. :~)

    MizFit

    June 1, 2008

    a hard decision and you and YOUR decision.
    I live my life in ‘judge not’ mode as I surely woudnt want others to judge me! :)

    Im excited for you because you are excited for you.

    HAVE FUN THIS MORNING!!
    it’s a huge lifestep.

    M.

    Roni

    June 1, 2008

    Kim – Great article!!! It actually made me feel better about my decision! Thanks!!

    1. Skin is incredibly elastic.

    Key word “some” women. My skin is not as elastic as others.

    2. Elasticity of skin depends on both genetics and environment/lifestyle.

    Exactly.

    3. How much your skin returns to its former tautness depends partly on age.

    I ain’t getting any younger.

    4. How long you carry extra weight may influence how much the skin will become taut after the weight loss:

    10 years at bouncing between 155-210 plus a pregnancy. I stretched this body out!

    5. How much weight was carried has a lot to do with how much the skin will resume a tight appearance.

    70lbs may not be as extreme as others but I can see the damage even in other places like my upper arms. However it’s not extreme enough to warrant surgery. Again, I’m not trying to be perfect.

    6. How fast the weight was gained also has a lot to do with how much the skin will resume a tight appearance.

    Again, Yo-you dieting is a fast weight gain/loss but I at least carried an extra 35 for over 10 straight years.

    7. How fast weight is lost also has a lot to do with how much the skin will tighten up.

    Average weight loss was I think 2.2lbs a week. Definitely not over 3.

    8. There are exceptions to all of the above.

    Of course there are. There always is.

    9. Creams probably don’t work.

    Yup, tried them too!

    10. Nutrition has a lot to do with the health of your skin.

    Really, don’t know how I could eat better.

    11. Exercise has a lot to do with how your skin appears after you lose body fat.

    I can see some difference since working out but it’s not going to fix the skin.

    12. Get second opinions if you are considering surgery

    Did that. I even talked to my primary care provider first.

    13. Give your skin time.

    How much? I’m not getting any younger!

    14. Know your body fat percentage before even thinking about surgery.

    Less then 19% I really am lean and mean under this skin.

    Jennifer

    June 1, 2008

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Your honesty about your surgery is one of the things that really drew me to this blog in the first place. I’m about halfway into my weight loss journey, 30 pounds down, and have decided to go ahead with the breast reduction I’ve wanted for years. My surgeon thinks he’ll remove about 6-7 pounds of tissue, so it’s a pretty major surgery. I’ve been terrified of the recovery, but hearing you talk about how very worth it it was gives me faith.

    So, thanks. Thanks for your honesty and for sharing with us. I hope your run goes wonderfully!

    jurovi

    June 1, 2008

    I totally agree with your decission.
    After the hard work you went through in order to lose the extra weight wanted to get rid of, it was a logical next step cutting off the tummy skin that would have been there because of the elasticity of your skin that was taken off of its own limit.

    I am sure you won’t repent of that decission.

    Hope

    June 1, 2008

    June 17th–that’s my birthday! :)

    Don’t feel bad at all. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about getting a tummy tuck after I lose all my weight. I’ve always had the extra tummy flab after kids, even before I gained/lost weight. (I’ve never told anybody this, so I guess I just outed myself here.)

    Anonymous

    June 1, 2008

    This really is a personal choice, but I would do it in a heartbeat if I were in your shoes. You look amazing! I’m excited for you!

    delle

    June 1, 2008

    So when did perfection come into it?

    In my opinion Roni is not searching for perfection at all, she simply wants to be happy and comfortable with her body. And guess what? She as every right in this world to achieve that, and it is no one’s business how she goes about doing it. You can have your own opinions about whether you think surgery is good or bad or whether you would do it yourself, but it is all about personal preference and how dare you put people down because they chose to do something you would not?

    Roni has not once come across as someone who is vain or obsessive or trying to achieve some ideal of perfection. It is obvious to anyone who frequents her websites that she is genuine and non-assuming and humble. She has made a decision after much conscious thought and deliberation, weighing her own goals and happiness. She is not caving in to outside pressure to change her body to fit someone else’s ideal. And no matter what some think, there is nothing wrong with having a personal ideal for your body, or for anything else in life for that matter. How many people spend money on fancy cars or big houses with big lawns and trees and gardens? How many people dye their hair because they don’t like the colour? Some people spend thousands of dollars on a piece of art or season tickets to their fav sports team or movie memorabilia. You or I might never choose to do the same, but that is because everyone has their own priorities and their own opinions about what is important to them. If Roni has the means and has the option of reaching a goal that cannot be achieved any other way, then I for one am ecstatic for her. Some people are happy being over weight, some people are happy with any untidiness left over after losing weight. And some people are not happy with either, and it is their business if they choose to change. It doesn’t matter whether a person’s happiness entails remaining as they are, or changing something about themselves, no one has the right to look down their noses at them.

    Personally I cannot wait till the day I can afford surgery, and I make no bones about it. The amount of excess skin I have from my weight loss makes the amount Roni had look tame, and I am thankful that surgery is available and that I do not have to live the rest of my life in this body I am miserable with. I’m not looking for perfection, I want to be able to smile every day because I love my body. I am not obsessed with changing every single thing about my body I do not like. I want to change this one because it is important to me. There is no shame in wanting to change your physical appearance. Being happy with your body the way it is does not make you better than someone who is not. It is not a failing and it is not shameful.

    Thank you for sharing with us Roni, your posts/pics about your tummy tuck have given me hope and have helped me make my own decision. So many people appreciate you for who you are!

    Caroline

    June 1, 2008

    Good for you, Roni! I struggle with this topic so much. I am, I think anyone who knows me would agree, a feminist. So people just expect me to be against plastic surgery on principle. But my real opinion is that women battle so many demons in this world, and, like any other part of life, you have to pick your battles. You have worked so hard to reach the point where you feel good about yourself, and if there is still something stopping you from feeling as good as you can, and you have the means to do it, I say go for it. Other women may decide that the extra skin or “saggy boobs” are fights they want to take on without surgery, and I say good for them. All overweight people feel the stigma attached to being overweight, but women face different pressures in this society to be perfect. As anonymous said, we never will be, but if we’ve done everything we can to get ourselves feeling pretty close to perfect, and want to get some more help to try to get a little closer, then good for you. Thanks for sharing, Roni!

    Sarah

    June 1, 2008

    It’s not about perfection it’s about working your butt off and feeling great about yourself! I hope to someday get a breast lift so mine can stop visiting with my belly button! You go girl!

    Staci

    June 1, 2008

    Hi Roni,

    Your tummy tuck is how I originally found your blog. After getting rid of 176 pounds through changing my eating and exercising the fat literally off, I had a tremendous amount of skin left on me. I had a lot of support while getting rid of the weight but was amazed at some of the snarky comments I got when I had my full tummy tuck with muscle and hernia repair done in February. The surgery was horrendous for me but has been SO VERY worth it! I am so amazed at how flat my tummy is. Btw, I was over 200 pounds by the time I was 16 and my heaviest was 328 pounds. I was over 300 pounds for almost 30 years. There is no way exercise or a “diet” or some voodoo magic was going to get rid of my skin.

    So, like you, I chose to let medical science take over and get rid of the skin and reveal what I was supposed to be all along. I also spent quite a few years in therapy dealing with the emotional issues that made me gain the weight I did. I am already talking about having a butt/thigh lift done and then the arms/breasts because of the extra skin. Again, amazing the remarks about me getting addicted to plastic surgery. I refuse to call it that, this is reconstructive surgery. This is reconstructing the body that I was supposed to have and removing the skin suit that is left.

    I take this very seriously and this is not called trying to be perfect because God knows the scars you have left are a constant reminder there is no such thing as being perfect after surgery like this! I’m glad that you are speaking out about this subject. One more thing before getting off my soapbox, but if someone were scarred in an accident and had surgery done to correct it, would they be considered going for perfection? I think this type of attitude that is prevelant with weightloss and reconstructive surgery still boils down to judgements our society makes about being heavy. It’s like we are supposed to be made to carry the extra skin around to remind us of where we were and almost like a punishment. I say and said to heck with that attitude! This is part of my journey to a healthier life and body! Now, stepping down off my box! (smile)

    Thanks for sharing your decision and allowing me to share my opinion!

    Staci

    Amanda

    June 1, 2008

    Good for you Roni!

    I have the “lip” just like you had on your belly and I can’t wait to have it removed. Once I am done having kids, DH has told me I can definitely have a tuck. I applaud you for putting yourself out there like this. It’s really awesome. I hope you post some before and after pics so we can see the difference. You look great already, but I understand wanting things tweaked a little bit. So my hat off to you! Good luck and I’ll be thinking of you on June 17th!

    Sinnasue

    June 1, 2008

    Congratulations! They dont have things like this where I live. Would really like to see if I survive such a run. You are an inspiration for me. I have a kid around your age and you make it sound like a breeze while I am barely surviving!

    Christie

    June 1, 2008

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. This is a personal decision for YOU to make.

    Although, it’s pretty easy for me to say this since I’m not the one writing a blog with all these people critiquing me all the time.

    You deserve to look the way you want to. Good luck!

    lmg

    June 1, 2008

    Go Roni! Did you read that study that came out over the past few days that said the number of fat cells you have is pretty much set by age 20? And that your body has a trigger to create a new fat cell when one dies after that point? So the only true way to get rid of them at our ages is through medical procedures. Don’t feel bad. I’ve been wanting to get Botox and I’ve been hit with negative comments by a bunch of people saying I don’t need it. I’m getting near 30 and there is no way I ever want to WANT to have a facelift. So i’d rather take preventive measures now, and if that means Botox, well, that’s a hell of a lot cheaper and less invasive.

    Anonymous

    June 1, 2008

    Hi, Roni,

    You have stuck to your guns all along and the plastic surgery is just one more thing that seems to work for you. Follow your intuition!

    Oh, and don’t forget to give us all the details. I cannot wait to be in a lost-weight position to get the saddlebags gone once and for all. Will be interested in hearing your report!

    Take care and know you have a huge support group.

    All the best,
    Tracey

    kris

    June 1, 2008

    Roni you have to do what is best for you. If it feels right, then do it. If you have any doubts, then you shouldn’t. You are a very intelligent person and know a bad decision when you see one…..that being said not letting others influence your decision is a sign of a strong person. I have to be honest and tell you I have always been a little freaked out by the thought of a tummy tuck….but after losing weight (and still having a little ways to go) I found your story and blog about your surgery and I believe this is something I want to do when I get to my goal. It has taken me some time to change my mind, but I feel I would be so much happier….of course its not essential for me to survive, but is it so wrong to live a little more satisfied?? No one knows what they would do in your situation and no one knows exactly what you’re feeling, so for them to judge someone else based on they’re thoughts and experience is just ignorance. Everyone will always have an opinion about something no one can change that. But I certainly hope that doesn’t stop you from documenting this new journey the same way as your tummy tuck. I think it would inspire more people and change some negative perceptions, just as it did for me!! Good luck and I can’t wait to see your results!

    Anonymous

    June 1, 2008

    Good for you Roni! Just this morning I laughed over a Nutrisystem ad. The photo showed a before and after picture of a woman. “Before” she wore a saggy, baggy brown smock dress. “After” a skimpy red bikini with stiletto heels. My hubby remarked, “Yes, we know everybody wears heels around the pool.” I replied, “Honey, if I looked like her in a bikini, I’d wear heels around the pool!” LOL So, yes, if I had youth on my side and the means to do it….I’d have reconstructive surgery too. Well, maybe not, I am a BIG chicken. LOL But, you just keep reminding yourself, that you DESERVE this! Tammy (sorry, I can’t comment unless I’m anonymous!)

    Anonymous

    June 1, 2008

    Roni- This is a personal question but I was just wondering if you’re planning on having more kids? I’m sure that factors in on your decision. Good luck!

    Shannon

    June 1, 2008

    Roni said somewhere that she doesn’t plan on more children.

    Good for you, Roni…do what works for you!

    jasmine

    June 1, 2008

    Roni, you totally deserve it. I would have made the same decision as you. I mean, you remember what it was like being bigger, don’t you? Were there times that you looked at other women, thinner women, and said to yourself “I would love to look like that”? You have the opportunity to become a bit more satisfied with yourself, so do it. Like you said, you only live once!

    Anonymous

    June 2, 2008

    First off…. for all the nay sayers…. I don’t think Roni wrote this to get talked out of it! I think she is looking for support from the community. If my best friend was sitting here, I would be honest with her and tell her that I want her to be happy. This is not a fly-by-the-seat of your pants decision. You have worked hard to get to this point and you have the right to choose this option. However, there are risks with all surgeries and ofcourse the expense. This is where I always hit the brick wall. Can I put my family through this…recovery time….pain….financially….???
    Am I being selfish….???I am sure there are families that could use this money to eat..etc.etc.etc. I always feel guilty when making decisions that only benefit me. I am sure that is some of the stuff that is going through the mind of a person ready to take this step. Anyway, I admire how determined you are Roni. And the decision is only YOURS. Whatever we all say is likely not going to change your mind. That is why we all tune in everyday, because of your courage and determination. The only thing I can say is BE SAFE and GOOD LUCK to you and thank you for motivating us to become the BEST we can be. It is such a personal thing that we all share. You sharing your journey on paper is a valuable gift and one that is very generous. It takes courage to put yourself out there for all to read and comment on. We all come from different places and down deep we are looking for encouragement and acceptance, and you give that to us everyday. THANKS for EVERYTHING

    Alisha

    June 2, 2008

    For the last anonymous post…I am totall with you about thinking of surgery, but then I met with the surgeon and thought the same things you did…”$10,000 could go a long way toward college savings for my boys, could help us live a little better, could be there as a safety net…am I being selfish, people would have to take off work to help me around and take their vacations that they need to use for them etc and then I think about being guilty to spend that money that my hubby and I have saved all because I didn’t take better care of my body and I don’t think he should have to pay for that…it was MY OWN FAULT” but I say Roni, since you are able to do all that and all is good….go for it!

    I WONDER WHAT YOU WOULD THINK OF ME if you met me with all my fading stretch marks(arms legs and all) and tummy that needs help and wiggly thighs and droopy boobs because I have met my weight goal…

    Anonymous

    June 2, 2008

    Congrats on your decision. I am sure it wasnt an easy one. I cant say I would or wouldnt do it if I could afford it, but since I cant, it is a non-issue. The important thing is you are happy with your decision.

    However, I will have to find a new role model/inspiration. We are similar in size, before and after, and you were my motivation that I could look good in a size 6 too- I am a size 8 now but still want to lose 8 pounds. But, maybe realistically I cant since I cant do it thru plastic surgery. Maybe a 5’9 woman that has had multiple children, weighed 233 at birth with the oldest, 3 c-sections, and now weighs 145 cant wear a size 6. Anyone know of someone that has?

    I am happy for you but feeling sad for me, in a strange way!!

    deanna

    June 2, 2008

    good for you – be safe!

    Anonymous

    June 2, 2008

    Does anyone know Roni’s age? I know she mentioned this as a factor in the decision.

    Roni

    June 2, 2008

    Img – I HAVE heard that! About the fat cells.

    Alisha & Anon – That money thing was another big factor for me too. It’s hard for me to justify spending money literally on myself without thinking what else we could do with it. That weighed on me a lot during the decision process.

    Anon who needs new inspiration – Please don’t base your goals on what I or anyone else is able to do. Everyone’s body is SO different and you need to find what’s right for you. That number in your tag mean NOTHING it’s how you feel.

    I’m 30-something – Everyone knows that! ;~P
    And no more kids for me. I love my toddler and one is all I have the attention span for, unless I shut down the site that is!! LOL

    I just want to thank everyone for the support. It feels good to be able to share my thoughts and not get bashed for my opinions and decisions.

    valeriehoose

    June 2, 2008

    Roni – thanks for sharing such a personal decision with us! I have been considering breast reduction/lift for several years but want to wait until I hit my goal weight (and perhaps toss in the tummy tuck at the same time!) Good luck!

    Estellia

    June 3, 2008

    Go for it Roni, whatever makes you feel good! But I have to say it does sound a little painful.

    Keri

    June 3, 2008

    Congratulations on making your decision to move forward with the surgery; making the decision is in some ways the hardest part. I wish you good luck and good health with the surgery.

    On a somewhat separate note, I am intrigued by the number of fans you have on this website, and how strongly they support you. If anyone has a dissenting opinion, they are quickly quelled by your supporters. I know the encouragement shown here is what keeps you going from day to day (and was really the impetus for this website). What I don’t know is whether you are interested in dissenting views, or would you prefer people keep their opinions to themselves if they disagree. I am not talking here about insulting or insensitive comments, but just opinions that may be well-reasoned, well-articulated, but different. It seems like there may be legitimate reasons for either side of this question. On the one side, “I am here to provide and give encouragement.” On the other side, “I want other opinions so that I can factor those into my own decisions.” Just curious on your perspective.

    Thank you for your hard work and inspiration to so many, me included.

    Tessie

    June 3, 2008

    Roni,
    Long time reader and yes I found your post originally from the tummy tuck information. I had a breast reduction (and of course they got lifted at the same time!) ;). I’m not so happy with the result, so I can relate to how you are feeling about the original surgery not completing the process. I’m left with “side boobs”…..KWIM?
    I feel really thick and it’s kind of sad, but honestly things are so much easier on my back I’ll take the side boobs instead of the draggy heavy ones! One of the strangest things about my surgery was in the OR. The nurses all said “go ahead and say it”. I looked at them puzzled and told them I did not know what they wanted. They said in all the surgeries they had done I was the first NOT to ask the doctor to throw in a tummy tuck at the same time as the breast surgery. It never occured to me that I needed one! :(
    I’m glad you are firm in your decision and happy about it. I’ll be thinking about you and your recovery.
    Take good care,
    Tessie

    Roni

    June 3, 2008

    Keri – “well-reasoned, well-articulated, but different.” Would be GREAT! But it rarely happens. TO be honest, I too am a but shocked at my support as well. One of the reasons, I think (maybe I’m wrong) is that I try to make well-reasoned insights and I rarely make snap judgments myself. At least I try.

    That being said sometimes different opinions do sting as I am getting really personal. However, I do open myself up to them.

    This blog is really a personal journal made public so sometimes I just vent or rationalize for myself while letting others in. That sometimes doesn’t make a good forum for healthy debate. KWIM?

    Tessie – I do know! :~)

    breckgirl

    June 4, 2008

    Go for it, girl. I’ve had lipo and a boob job and I’m glad for both. It’s about feeling good about yourself. I’ll be thinking of you.

    Elsie

    June 4, 2008

    I agree Keri, and was wondering the same thing! There has been times I’ve wanted to put my 2 cents in, but I know it’s a different opinion than what everyone else is saying and I’ll get bashed for it, so I don’t. I’m not afraid to be bashed, but I don’t have the energy lately to defend myself. I just think some different (and maybe even negative) opinions could be helpful sometimes, especially for feedback on certain things.

    I’m just really glad someone else said that, because I always think the same thing!

    This is no way a bash to you Roni. I understand that topics like this are personal to you, so negative opinions can hurt, but I guess that’s the negative side of a public blog, huh :)

    Good luck with everything!

    Roni

    June 4, 2008

    Elsie – Thanks for seconding! :~P

    “but I guess that’s the negative side of a public blog, huh :)”

    That it is but I’m not sure it’s a negative. :~)

    And as I said, I welcome opinions, if I didn’t I wouldn’t bother blogging. This post was just more of a me spilling my guts about the decision. Next week I think I post plastic surgery as the question of the week so we can have a discussion about it. What do you think?

    Thanks for commenting!

    Anonymous

    June 11, 2008

    Tummy tuck comparison. Interestingly, I just saw an episode of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” a TLC show that is about a family with 8 children (6 of them sextuplets). They were showing an older episode, where the mother, Kate (who is a young woman but whose belly stretched out because of her massive tummy gain due to the 6 babies), had the same procedure you had Roni–where she had a tummy tuck, since reading your blog I thought it was very intersting to see her surgery and progress documented which was similar to yours.

    Also interestingly they did a follow up episode talking about it where they revealed that Kate had also had the side liposuction done at the time of the surgery to prevent the little pooches that you are having removed. They showed what her tummy looks like one year later and the results of having both procedures. Don’t know if you caught it but I thought hearing about your own experiences and seeing this woman’s actually on screen was a good litmus test/comparison of what a difference it can make.

    didihahn

    September 8, 2008

    Congrats. You look awesome! I just had a tummy tuck too and have been reading many of these types of personal stories. I have one bit of unsolicited advice for all if I may. Partly speaking to myself of course, too.

    There are two sides to PS. Yes, the devil and angel. I’ve decided that I will listen to both (foolish not to), make my decision (as I did) then… get on w/life.

    For me (may not be for others), what that means is to put a limit on obsessing over results, comparisons and ongoing quests for perfection. That limit is as different for each of us as we are from each other. Only we can access our own. As they say, everything in moderation. Perfection is a foolish quest.

    We all want to be happy, comfortable and confident. However, there are much greater things to serve than ourselves. I find that pursuing those make me as happy if not more happy than focusing on me. It just takes a little more effort to turn away from my own issues. Like a camera refocusing as you site various targets.

    I think of some great people I know, love and admire. They are not perfect, just human. Many could stand major PS. But, their personalities have transcended their physical flaws. And, their imperfections make them who they are.

    Bottom line, self-focus in moderation is the key, I believe, to our searching.

    God bless all here.

    Meech!

    July 6, 2009

    This is SO late a response… :)
    I recently lost 80 pounds and MAINTAINED it.
    I got a breast lift and augmentation. I wanted just a lift, but my breasts were so sagged and empty they were like floppy flat bags of skin… I would have had no definition at all… which led me to add conservatively-sized implants to the procedure.

    It took my years to decide, and more years than that to save the money. I am 2 weeks post-op and for the first time in my whole adult life, I have a woman’s chest. It was a huge decision for me. I spent many nights crying over the thought of having breast implants and being “one of those women”. After researching the procedure and speaking with the surgeon, my view on the process and having implants has taken a whole new light.

    For me, it is not about showing them off or being perfect – it was about being normal. For the first time!

    I am so proud of myself for overcoming my fears and reservations, and implant-prejudices, to obtain a new outlook on life and invest in myself. I can’t tell you how much I look forward to living with no breast discomfort. I am proud of you for taking your life and comfort into your own hands as well. Hurrah!

    Foodie McBody

    June 29, 2010

    I’m coming in late to this discussion. I’ve been a person who felt like “Never, not me, no way…” but there’s a 50 lb diff between my highest and lowest weight and I have to say, my tummy looks exactly like her pre-op pics. It’s like looking in a mirror. And – sigh… I know I can’t really do anything about it.
    Roni’s a 30something. I’m a 50plus. Does that mean anything? Does it mean nothing? I feel like if I were in my 30s I’d be more likely to do it because I’d have more years as a cute young person, and now, well, it’s all downhill isn’t it? LOL. But still.. I look at those afters and I think… hm…..

    I have huge fibroids and there is a chance I will have to have a hysterectomy. I think if that occurs I will investigate the option of getting a two-fer. Anyway, I’m thinking. THINKING.