One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Choices & Confessions

20 Comments 1271 views

First, the choice. As you may know it’s been awhile since I officially weighed in. (For those that don’t know, I only track weigh in at Weight Watcher meetings and I still try to go weekly.) Keyword there, TRY. Yeah, I haven’t been trying to hard in the last few weeks. My schedule has been just so freakin’ crazy!

So today when I had the chance to leave work early I have a choice, gym or Weight Watchers. I chose the gym.  I’m sot sure it was the right choice but I can tell you the mindset that got me there…

  1. I haven’t worked out since Sunday and I like to go 4 times a week if possible so I need to squish it in when I can.
  2. There was a class starting at the gym where I could get some cardio in. Anytime I can get cardio in with a class I like to take it as I don’t really like cardio and classes are fun.
  3. I’ve been eating a bit more recently and I don’t really want to see the scale. Making all the VitaMix contest entries has been very tempting and I’ve been succumbing to the temptation a little more then I should be.
  4. I’m out of the meeting groove. When I go now, I’m starting to feel out of place. I don’t have a regular meeting so I hop around and every time I go there are different leaders. Half the time I’m singled out to share my success and the other half I get this sinking feeling that people don’t think I belong there. I know it’s all in my head and I shouldn’t care but both situations are starting to feel a bit uncomfortable for me.
  5. Working out just seems like something better to do for my body then a meeting.

Now on to the confession that I hinted to above. I’ve been a bit, ummmm, well, ‘snacky’. It’s the only word to describe it.  I’ve caught myself sneaking bites while making sandwiches, taking seconds a bit more and getting into the cycle of night time snacking again. I say this all as I am catching the behavior early (just the last two days). Tomorrow I’m committing to tracking a food journal and posting my menu.  I think I need that accountability for a few days.




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Discussion

There are 20 comments so far.

    Melanie, NYC

    March 12, 2008

    Roni, I feel the same way about attending WW meetings. I got to goal and lifetime without too much struggle, so being a size 2/4 I also got a lot of weird looks and was singled out at meetings to share my success. Now I work for WW as a receptionist… and I feel even less comfortable going to meetings now that I know ALL the staff.

    So, know that you’re not alone!

    You continue to inspire me with both of your websites. I am glad we all have the online forum to share and support each other. You and your family are beautiful!

    Miss July...not...yet

    March 12, 2008

    I think it is important to occasionally review our reasoning…it gives us a kind of checks and balance for eating and exercising and making choices.

    I think I have probably been guilty of thinking the skinny person shouldn’t be at a meeting, but at the same time, i also think if she can do it, then so can I. A catch 22 but I understand. I hope you realize that even if people do think the first, they are really grateful you are there for the latter. (does this make sense?)

    Scrumpy's Baker

    March 13, 2008

    I hear ya on the snacking thing. It’s such a hard habit to break but I’m working on it!

    Kim

    March 13, 2008

    Good for you on the snacking thing. You noticed the issue early and are facing it straight on.

    Angela

    March 13, 2008

    Roni, I’m sure you do get some funny looks at Weight Watchers, but I can promise, as someone losing weight I love nothing more than to hear the success stories in the meetings. I know you are a busy woman but please continue going to the meetings. You have no idea what a inspiration you are to other people.

    Rebecca

    March 13, 2008

    Roni-
    I never did go to meetings as there are only two meeting times per week and neither of them worked for me. I used the WW community boards and great blogs like yours to keep me motivated and to get info. I am pretty private anyway. After two years of maintenance I don’t really think I would fit in either.

    As far as you not going…I think you need to evaluate why you don’t want to go. Is it because you are afraid of the scale? I know that is what got me overweight to begin with so now I weigh almost daily(I don’t weigh when I know it is going to be up ie the week before TOM) If you don’t want to go because you get more satisfaction from burning calories and getting that rush from exercise than by all means GET TO THE GYM! The meetings are great if that’s what you need but for me exercising is what keeps me from gaining and makes me feel soooo good.

    I hope all of that makes sense.

    Anonymous

    March 13, 2008

    Since the meetings are so uncomfortable for you these days could you switch to doing a weigh in at the gym that you go to?

    Joyce

    March 13, 2008

    nodding…nodding…nodding

    I hear you – battling the snack-demon too. I swear it’s a seasonal thing too, although you have better weather than I do.

    As you read, I’m doing my best to shrug it off, move past this point and not sink too much into my head.

    I know you’re not actually looking for advice, primarily because you already know what you need to do. This was your cleansing exercise. Now it’s “out there”. It’s real, and you HAVE to address it.

    I’m rooting for you!

    And about the WW meetings… I’m already outgrowning them at this point. Or maybe it’s because of the season (full up on fresh recruits) that the meetings are becoming more of a frustration than a boost. I’ve lost X lbs, so I’m more co-leader than just one of the participants. It annoying.

    There’s a lifetimer in my meeting who shows twice a month. She lost about what you did. She has a good attitude about that transition from full-fledged meeting participant to “special attendee”. It’s all part of the process, she says. It helps that she stuck with the same leader.

    Would it be helpful, when you are asked to tell your story at meetings, to have your bio ready to pass out, or for people to take if they are interested? Say something like, “rather than take valuable meeting time, I’ll just make this available to whomever wants it. And it has links to my websites if people want to contact me individually for questions or tips.”

    Stay Strong Roni!

    Anonymous

    March 13, 2008

    Yes I would agree -I feel like I get a lot of stares when I attend a WW meeting that I don’t normally attend. I’m at my lowest weight EVER and at those meetings no one knows that I’ve at worked on weight loss/weight maintenance most of my life. These days I go once a month to maintain lifetime status and most of the time I stay for the meeting–it’s just enough to keep me honest! By the way, it’s like you spoke to me when you wrote “sneaking bites”! Most mornings I make my son a PB and marshmallow sandwich on whole wheat for lunchbox and lately I’ve been eating the crust I cut off for him! It happens before I know it–used to throw it away w/o a thought now I just can’t help it! What’s that about?!!

    Anonymous

    March 13, 2008

    It sounds like you may have outgrown the meetings. I think once you reach your goal weight and maintain for a while the numbers just don’t mean much anymore. You are working out, so that will increase your weight in a good way. I think at this point it is really just about how your clothes fit, which you can check at home!

    HappyBlogChick

    March 13, 2008

    I ultimately stopped going to meetings, and early on in that “stopping” it was because I was choosing the gym over the meetings. How is that a bad thing, I figure? That is, as long as we’re getting what we get out of the meetings from some other source. I used to get motivation from others’ stories, info on new products, a message that “you can do this!” … now I get all of that from blogs.

    I think we’ve been programmed that meetings are important … and I think they are VERY important in the learning process. But if you’re at the point where you’re getting what you need from other places, I don’t see the harm in not going to meetings.

    If you wake up one morning and miss the meetings or realize you’re NOT getting what you need, the meetings will be there for you.

    Anyway KUDOS for recognizing the snacking after only 2 days.

    Alisha

    March 13, 2008

    I understand how you and some of your commenting peeps are feeling about attending meetings now that you are at goal….but I have to be honest that as someone almost to goal it was people like you that I could see went through it and told their stories that kept me going and knowing that I could do it. Sometimes if there are only losing members, I’m not as motivated. I am VERY THANKFUL to the lifetimers who still come and make me believe I can get there.

    Anonymous

    March 13, 2008

    Roni, I understand your reluctance to attend meetings but I think they are important. I have been at lifetime for a while and I am a size 0/2 so I understand the stares. I go 2 -3 times a month to support others as well as myself (maintenance is much harder than losing). You have a lot on your plate but if you find the time to go to a meeting, I think it will find it was worth it. Thanks for your blog and your inspiration.

    Anonymous

    March 13, 2008

    snacking… yes, me too… I have been working out lots but I’m eating my workouts! Once you lose weight (I lost 30 pounds) it’s really, really hard to maintain it. It’s hard to think like a thin person and it’s hard not to have losing weight as something that occupies your time… Sometimes I sabbotage myself and I think I do it because I have had this weight loss job for so long I don’t know what I’d do without it… Pathetic yes, but true. Good for you for recognizing and confessing. Sometimes just sharing makes the biggest difference!

    Dev

    March 13, 2008

    Although the meetings are important, I think you made the right decision by getting some cardio in. Some weeks it just seems so much harder to come up with the time to get the exercising in.

    teenage girl

    March 13, 2008

    god i hate those snacky moods. atleast you are being proactive about it! good for you!

    karen

    March 13, 2008

    Stepping back a little – you’ve been snacky on and off since the holidays, and you’ve blogged about it before. Have you considered that missing the meetings and snacking are related? Another key issue might be denial – ultimately, weighing is the accountability, wherever the location. I’m not at goal, but I was (years ago) and remember that “Results not typical” disclaimer. Permanent weightloss is difficult to achieve – I didn’t achieve it then, though I hope we both do now.

    Maggie

    March 13, 2008

    Yeah, you should weigh yourself at the gym if you’re curious where you’re at. I mean who said its only official if its done at WW?

    I think you’re doing such a great job with exercising you really shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself about the snacking.

    I know its still an issue no matter what weight we’re at when it comes to snacking and such… But if you’re pretty close to your weight goal and you’re exercising your tushie off like you are…

    You shouldn’t worry so much, unless you’re sitting on couch doing nothing all day and all you’re doing is snacking.
    But doesn’t sound like you are…

    Pat yourself on your back once in a while. You’re doing awesome and inspiring so many out there. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ve come a long way you deserve too snack without freaking out. :)

    Crista

    March 13, 2008

    I have never been to a WW meeting…I follow your progress..as I said before you have always been my motivation..because of you John and I started WW and thats why I started my blog…so I thank you…I agree that going to the gym is probably worth it more as far as burning calories…but do what makes you happy…KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK

    I can’t wait to try your pizza sometime

    Also as far as foods that I like..I eat them still but in moderation and when I can cook them at home I do and look for low-fat alternatives…however I won’t give up my mac and cheese..but I have stopped eating so much of it!! you are only young once and you need to enjoy life…

    Lisa

    March 13, 2008

    Hi there! I just came across your blogs and I love, love, love them! I’m rededicating myself to getting fit and staying fit so your experiences are great motivation!

    Knowing me I would have gone to the gym too! OH, yeah, I’m totally a snacker so I can relate.

    Best Wishes,
    Lisa