I need to turn off anonymous commenting purely for the fact I can’t credit those that make great points on my posts. There were two comments on my BLOW OUT journal that really got me thinking. The idea I took away from both were so simply inspired…
FOOD IS NOT THE ENEMY!
I know this. I really do. I mean I LOVE food, good food. Healthy food I can be creative with. Food I feel good about feeding my family. That’s the real reason I started GreenLiteBites, I wanted to share my love of food with everyone and use it to learn more about and experiment with the healthy nutritious stuff. (side note: I posted 2 new recipes, Winter Squash Soup with Roasted Seeds and Sweet & Spicy Black Bean Dip)
So how come I still sometimes feel controlled by the very thing I’m so passionate about? Sometimes the need to eat things for no other reason then to eat them. No other reason then to taste in excess. To point of uncomfortable fullness?
Maybe it’s an emotional thing, a chemical thing or just because it tastes good. Who knows. All I do know is I want a healthy relationship with food. I’m there, getting there, maybe, but just as with everything, I’m a work in progress.
So last week I returned to my Weight Watcher roots and followed the Flex Plan. I had a Weight Watcher Leader once tell me Weight Watchers doesn’t expect it’s Flex members to count points forever. I understand why. Similar to a parent who sends their child off to college, there is a time where you just have trust that you did all you can to prepare them to face the world. Hopefully, when they leave they are making the best decisions they can with the knowledge you passed on.
I think I’m ready. Much like that teenager preparing to embark on a college career I feel frustrated I still have to follow the rules of my parents and I rebel. I think this is one of the reasons I have “blow outs”. I want the freedom to trust my instincts but I’m restricting myself to follow the rules. It’s becoming an odd love hate relationship with points and consequently, food.
So, to you Flex, I say good bye. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be back for visits when I’m feeling alone and vulnerable. It’s comforting to know you will always be there for me if I need you but you must understand, our relationship is starting to become toxic. I can see that and I hope you do too. It’s been a fabulous 2 and half years and you know as well as I do, I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for you. I owe you a lot and I will be forever thankful we had the pleasure of meeting.
So armed with the Core food list, motivation to reach my goals, my passion in the kitchen and the knowledge I have gained over the past 2 years, I start a new week. I’m as excited and nervous as I was the night before I moved into the dorms.