One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

More Mind Tricks

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I wrote about this awhile back and found bit and pieces of the old post. Last night getting ready to go out I had similar feelings so I’m reposting.

Body ImageWhy is it one day I can catch a glimpse of myself and see all that I accomplished? 70lbs gone, the slender body I always dreamed of having since about age 12 and self-confidence and sense of determination that I can do anything I set my mind to. But other days I catch that same glimpse, it can be the next day or maybe even an hour after the first glimpse and I see a completely different body. Every flaw magnified, I see thickness, I feel vulnerable, and the thought crosses my mind that it was all in vain. I swear the glimpse I see is the same body I had for most of my life.

Am I crazy? Well, some would say I am for other reasons. ;~)

In all seriousness, my logical mind knows that the latter scenario is preposterous but when this happens it does mess with your attitude, motivation and confidence that day.

I can’t be the only one that feels this way, am I?


Note: I would give credit for the picture but I honestly don’t remember were I found it. Sorry.



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Discussion

There are 13 comments so far.

    Amanda

    August 12, 2007

    No, Roni, you are not. I feel the same way some days. I haven’t lost nearly what you have, nor am I at goal, but I am proud of my accomplishment. But some days I am proud and I stand tall and wear more slender clothing…then other days I want to hide everything, wear too big shirts and feel like I have never lost a pound. It’s a vicious cycle!

    Tara

    August 12, 2007

    I feel this way too! Last night i went to a wedding and was feeling pretty good about myself but then i saw pictures and i felt like i looked *huge*! I just try to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones but some days its really hard. You look great btw!

    Anonymous

    August 12, 2007

    I tend to think the reason why I struggle with my weight is because I am the exact opposite! Seriously, I am like the fat girl in that image who sees someone reflecting back who is much thinner….like the other girl in the image, lol. I know it is good for my self-confidence, but it’s become a problem. I don’t truly “see” how big I am until I look at pictures. Then I think to myself, “Oh my God! I let myself go out looking like that!?” To answer question though, my sister is the same way as you. She has lost a lot of weight and she still looks in the mirror and thinks she is big and she is SOOO not!

    kat

    August 12, 2007

    I’m sort of the opposite of you like the previous post said. I am just starting my weight loss journy and tend to be shocked when I see myself in a store window or something…I don’t see myself the way I really look at all. Even my face because I wear glasses now and am getting older! LOL.

    Thanks for all you share, Roni. Your thoughts & feelings, good finds and recommendations and amazing recipes!

    kat

    Anonymous

    August 12, 2007

    I love coming here everyday. It is like you read my mind somehow. I have lost almost forty pounds (35 was my goal), and no one else can understand how I am still unsatisfied with myself. And sometimes I look in the mirror and am giddy inside at my progress. But other days I can’t stand what I see – or how uncomfortable I feel in something I am wearing. It is a long-term battle and hopefully some day my self-image will be a hurdle I can cross. Thank you for this blog! It (and you)is definitely an inspiration and my reason for continuing forward on many a day!

    Kelly

    August 12, 2007

    Oh yes, I know the feeling too well! In cases like these I think the best thing to do is think forward, not back. Whether or not you are ever at your ‘skinniest’ again doesn’t matter because someday, maybe next year, maybe 10 years from now, you may look BACK and think, “God, I wish I looked like that again.” It’s a vicious cycle, one that IS w/in our control and mindset. Focus on the positive change you’ve made in the past week of getting to the gym and remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so don’t watch the scale too closely! :)

    Jan

    August 12, 2007

    I just went through this last night. I was at a huge horseshoe tournament yesterday and so many people were blown away by my weight loss (33 down, 20 or so to go). Lots and lots of compliments. I felt great all day then came home and looked at the photos my hubby took of me. Boy, talk about burst my balloon! All I could think was – “wow I have a long way to go”! It’s good to read that I am not alone with this kind of thinking.

    Alle

    August 12, 2007

    Oh, I definitely know how you feel! I was watching a video the other night of myself in college with my friends and on the tape I said, “I’m the big one.” Looking at that now, I just can’t imagine how I thought that way! I finally saw myself as others saw me. Unfortunately, I’ve gained a ton of weight since then, but it’s my hope that when I lose this weight, I can see myself as I did the other night and not like I did back then.

    I wish there was a way you could step away from yourself and take a look. I also wish we weren’t so hard on ourselves!

    Anonymous

    August 12, 2007

    Roni-If you have a Costco in your area I found a great product. They are called Shanghigh Kitchen Vegetable Spring Rolls. They are so yummy, 100 cals, 2.5 fat grams and 6 fiber grams for 3. 6 make a great meal with something on the side. Or you can just have a couple with an Asian inspired dish. Bonus, my nine year old niece loves them. I encourage you to try them if you can.

    I have been so inspired by you these past couple of weeks. My baby is six months old and I finally decided to start to lose the weight. You seem to be having fun with it and staying creative in you food selections. You look great!

    Crystal

    Barbara

    August 13, 2007

    You’re definitely NOT the only one. I find myself doing the exact same thing constantly. I actually just mentioned it to my boyfriend the other day. It’s so strange how you can be SO unhappy when you look in the mirror one minute and the next you’re thinking, “Wow! I look good!” I wish I had advice for you on how to not look at yourself like that, but I don’t. And if anyone else does, I’d like that advice as well.
    Hang in there!
    :)

    Anonymous

    August 13, 2007

    This is a struggle that I have all the time as well. I constantly struggle against “Fat Me” and I hope that someday I can put it behind me.

    Anonymous

    November 9, 2007

    On the other side of the spactrum, I was anorexic for a number of years, whittling myself down to two digitd, mind you I am 21 and 5 ft. 4 in. I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat girl staring back. So know that it doesn’t end once you lose x pounds. Everything that needed to be changed on the outside can be changed, but it is the inside mentality that will always need work to catch up. It’s like your mind and body are always playing tag.